What do you think?
Citizens speak out on the Patrician and his message
"I can assure everyone that His Lordship is a model of moral integrity. He's surrounded by an army of clerks of both sexes over whom he has absolute power day and night within the walls of the Palace. He's never taken advantage of the situation. Not once. And it's not like we haven't tried..."
-- Rufus Drumknott, personal secretary to the Patrician
"It has always been a personal failure and indeed, one of my guild as a whole, that the world's most eligible bachelor has not visited us at least once. Just think of the advantages if one of our ladies of negotiable affection could say 'Patrician Recommended' in her marketing literature."
-- Mrs. Rosemary Palm, head of the Guild of Seamstresses
"The Patrician should make announcements like that more often. I sold at least 200 sausages today, though I must say, I won't comment on what people were doin' with 'em."
-- C.M.O.T. Smith (name changed upon request), tradesman
"I'll get you bastards for that back-fence gossip. I know who you are. I know where you live. You've got 24 hours to get out of my city. No joke. Do I look like a man who can take a joke?"
--- His Grace Sir Samuel Vimes, Duke of Ankh and Watch Commander, who asked us to add that he was squinting in a very threatening way.
"My sister's friend has a cousin whose daughter's son works as a coal scuttler in the palace. And he said he sometimes hears these awful noises at night coming from the Patrician's bedroom. Per'aps it's not very ladylike of me to tell tales, but my sister's friend's cousin's daughter's son said that maybe the Patrician sends out for a prisoner to his room nights and has all sorts of strange mechanical devices in there and then he...[interview interrupted by Palace Guard]
-- Mrs. Winslow, housekeeper at Unseen University
"To really understand women, you have to walk a mile in their shoes. My boots belonged to my gran. The Patrician can borrow 'em if he buys me a new pair. "
-- A corporal of the City Watch who declined to give his name.
"Vetinari's a friggin' prick. Yez got a problem with that, buddy?"
-- Wee Mad Arthur, rat catcher, in the presence of several suddenly friendly palace guards.
"For a good time, call at the Palace. Ask for Havie."
-- Graffiti on the widdershins wall of the Saturnalia Casino. [Note: At press time, the Palace Guard reported that more than 70 people had asked for "Havie" at the Palace gates. They were reportedly escorted into the Palace and were unavailable for comment due to participation in a free educational course on arachnids.]
Citizens speak out on the Patrician and his message
"I can assure everyone that His Lordship is a model of moral integrity. He's surrounded by an army of clerks of both sexes over whom he has absolute power day and night within the walls of the Palace. He's never taken advantage of the situation. Not once. And it's not like we haven't tried..."
-- Rufus Drumknott, personal secretary to the Patrician
"It has always been a personal failure and indeed, one of my guild as a whole, that the world's most eligible bachelor has not visited us at least once. Just think of the advantages if one of our ladies of negotiable affection could say 'Patrician Recommended' in her marketing literature."
-- Mrs. Rosemary Palm, head of the Guild of Seamstresses
"The Patrician should make announcements like that more often. I sold at least 200 sausages today, though I must say, I won't comment on what people were doin' with 'em."
-- C.M.O.T. Smith (name changed upon request), tradesman
"I'll get you bastards for that back-fence gossip. I know who you are. I know where you live. You've got 24 hours to get out of my city. No joke. Do I look like a man who can take a joke?"
--- His Grace Sir Samuel Vimes, Duke of Ankh and Watch Commander, who asked us to add that he was squinting in a very threatening way.
"My sister's friend has a cousin whose daughter's son works as a coal scuttler in the palace. And he said he sometimes hears these awful noises at night coming from the Patrician's bedroom. Per'aps it's not very ladylike of me to tell tales, but my sister's friend's cousin's daughter's son said that maybe the Patrician sends out for a prisoner to his room nights and has all sorts of strange mechanical devices in there and then he...[interview interrupted by Palace Guard]
-- Mrs. Winslow, housekeeper at Unseen University
"To really understand women, you have to walk a mile in their shoes. My boots belonged to my gran. The Patrician can borrow 'em if he buys me a new pair. "
-- A corporal of the City Watch who declined to give his name.
"Vetinari's a friggin' prick. Yez got a problem with that, buddy?"
-- Wee Mad Arthur, rat catcher, in the presence of several suddenly friendly palace guards.
"For a good time, call at the Palace. Ask for Havie."
-- Graffiti on the widdershins wall of the Saturnalia Casino. [Note: At press time, the Palace Guard reported that more than 70 people had asked for "Havie" at the Palace gates. They were reportedly escorted into the Palace and were unavailable for comment due to participation in a free educational course on arachnids.]