Title: Elrond's Reasons For Choosing the Members of the Fellowship 4/6
Authors: The Elf and The Dwarf (Mayetra and Hedda)
Rating: R
Disclaimer: If we owned 'em do you honestly think we would share them?
Special Warnings: Naughty language, implied drug use
Summary: The real reasons Elrond chose the members of the Fellowship.
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I really need to do something about Aragorn. He is spending way too much time with Arwen. Just last week, I caught her carving Aragorn and Arwen Forever in my favorite oak tree. Then she specifically disobeyed my orders to stay way from him when she took off to find him and the Hobbits. Glorfindel damn near shit kittens when he found out she had taken Asfaloth.
Besides I really should send someone with brains along to watch out for Frodo. At least Aragorn has had the benefit of a good Elven education, it's not like he's prone to falling off cliffs into a ranging river on a regular basis. Eru help them if Gimli takes charge, which would be a disaster waiting to happen.
Something has to be done, when Aragorn is not sniffing around Arwen's skirts, he's over by the broken sword shaking in his boots. I mean get a grip already, it's not like he's Isildur reincarnated. If he doesn't grow a set of balls soon, the prophecy about that broken piece of crap sword being reforged won't come true. Someone has to go run Gondor; it will go to hell in a hand basket if Boromir takes the throne.
No way am I letting my only daughter marry some bum who spends his time slinking around the countryside with a bunch of guys. I mean Orc hunting is great fun and all but it doesn't pay the bills. No way are they shacking up here, leaving me to support them.
While I'm on the subject of men, I think Boromir will make an excellent addition to the Fellowship. I mean someone has to fall to the lure of the Ring. I can't think of a better candidate. He's rude, obnoxious and the stupidest man I've had the displeasure to meet since Isildur. Didn't he listen to one word we said about the Ring? Alls he could talk about was Gondor and how he could destroy Sauron's army if only he had the Ring. Yeah, like that would happen! I'd sooner strip down naked and run through a camp of horny Orcs then let that stupid git have the Ring.
And what is with that stupid horn of his? All day long he's huffing and puffing away on that thing. I was happily drinking my juice this morning watching the sunrise when TOOT, TOOT, TOOT. He's blowing on that blasted thing trying to wake the dead. It nearly scared the piss out of me. I mean hello? Morning here? Sun's not up and the birds are still quiet. I never really noticed how much juice burns as it comes out your nose. Until today. Life will be so much quieter with him gone.
Speaking of peace and quiet. I really need to give King Thranduil's request some serious consideration.
TBC
Authors: The Elf and The Dwarf (Mayetra and Hedda)
Rating: R
Disclaimer: If we owned 'em do you honestly think we would share them?
Special Warnings: Naughty language, implied drug use
Summary: The real reasons Elrond chose the members of the Fellowship.
************************************************************************
I really need to do something about Aragorn. He is spending way too much time with Arwen. Just last week, I caught her carving Aragorn and Arwen Forever in my favorite oak tree. Then she specifically disobeyed my orders to stay way from him when she took off to find him and the Hobbits. Glorfindel damn near shit kittens when he found out she had taken Asfaloth.
Besides I really should send someone with brains along to watch out for Frodo. At least Aragorn has had the benefit of a good Elven education, it's not like he's prone to falling off cliffs into a ranging river on a regular basis. Eru help them if Gimli takes charge, which would be a disaster waiting to happen.
Something has to be done, when Aragorn is not sniffing around Arwen's skirts, he's over by the broken sword shaking in his boots. I mean get a grip already, it's not like he's Isildur reincarnated. If he doesn't grow a set of balls soon, the prophecy about that broken piece of crap sword being reforged won't come true. Someone has to go run Gondor; it will go to hell in a hand basket if Boromir takes the throne.
No way am I letting my only daughter marry some bum who spends his time slinking around the countryside with a bunch of guys. I mean Orc hunting is great fun and all but it doesn't pay the bills. No way are they shacking up here, leaving me to support them.
While I'm on the subject of men, I think Boromir will make an excellent addition to the Fellowship. I mean someone has to fall to the lure of the Ring. I can't think of a better candidate. He's rude, obnoxious and the stupidest man I've had the displeasure to meet since Isildur. Didn't he listen to one word we said about the Ring? Alls he could talk about was Gondor and how he could destroy Sauron's army if only he had the Ring. Yeah, like that would happen! I'd sooner strip down naked and run through a camp of horny Orcs then let that stupid git have the Ring.
And what is with that stupid horn of his? All day long he's huffing and puffing away on that thing. I was happily drinking my juice this morning watching the sunrise when TOOT, TOOT, TOOT. He's blowing on that blasted thing trying to wake the dead. It nearly scared the piss out of me. I mean hello? Morning here? Sun's not up and the birds are still quiet. I never really noticed how much juice burns as it comes out your nose. Until today. Life will be so much quieter with him gone.
Speaking of peace and quiet. I really need to give King Thranduil's request some serious consideration.
TBC