~*~ Leaving Bree ~*~
Aragorn: We'll stop at weathertop and rest there for the night.
Pippin: Where?
Aragorn: Weathertop.
Pippin: oh. Are we there yet?
Aragorn: no
Pippin: Are we there yet now?
Aragorn: no
Pippin: how about no- *Aragorn duct tapes his mouth shut*
Merry: are we there yet?
All:
LATER
*all have duct tape across their mouths, except Aragorn*
Sam: Mmmph muph mnph mulnph ( translation: did you really have to put duct tape on bills mouth?)
Aragorn: yes. And, just so you know, we're there now. *pulls off everybody's duct tape*
Bill: you know, you're not the only one here with facial hair
Aragorn: whatever. Anyway, I'm off to scout out the land, so you'll be all alone in case of a nazgul attack.
All:
LATER
Frodo: *wakes up & sees fire* oo a nice fire I wanna sit by it I'm cold
Author: *cough cough*
Frodo: wha- oh yeah WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?! DO YOU WANT TO ALERT EVERYTHING WITHIN A MILE OF OUR PRESENCE?!?!?!?!? *sprays fire with fire extinguisher*
Smokey the bear: only you can prevent forest fires!!
All:
Pippin: who are you?
S.T.B: I'm a bear that wants to be an ent! How do I sound? *coughs* hoom hoom, you can prevent forest fires, hoom, don't be hasty!
All:
Frodo: Security!!
Lauren: you coming with us, bear.
S.T.B. : I'm not a bear, I'm an Ent!!
Merry: ok then
Sam: RINGWRAITHS!!!
Frodo: told ya so.
Pippin: run away!!
All: *run to top of hill*
Ringwraith Bob: hey, we're lost, can you give us directions to weathertop?
Ringwraith Howard: Bob, you idiot, we're at weathertop, and we're supposed to kill them!
Ringwraith Tony: oh, do we have to? They're so cute
Ringwraith Howard: no!! kill them, and take the ring!!
Ringwraith Ed: can't we keep just one? They are kinda cute
Ringwraith Howard: fine, then I'll kill them myself!! *stabs Frodo in the shoulder*
Ringwraith Boris: now look what you did!
Sam: Mr. Frodo!! Noooooooooooooooooooooo!!! *starts to wail*
Ringwraith Jack: aw, it'll be ok he'll get better *hands Sam a tissue*
Sam: Thanks *sniff*
Eye of Sauron: you fools!! Is Howard the only one of you with brains?
Ringwraith Rick: well, when you've been rotting for a few thousand years, your brain starts to deteriorate
Eye of Sauron: silence!! You know what this means?
Ringwraiths: *gasp* nooooooooo!!
Eye of Sauron: yes!! I will BLINK at you!! MUAHAHAHAHA!! *blinks furiously*
All:
Aragorn: *starts lighting wraiths on fire* go away, or be burned into Kentucky fried wraith!!!
Frodo : ow
Ringwraith Joe: lets dump this place, man. *Ringwraiths leave*
Frodo: ow
Aragorn: let me find some kingsfoil to fix your shoulder! *runs off again*
Frodo: ow
IN THE WOODS
Aragorn: oo looky! Kingsfoil! And kingsfoil!! *Arwen sneaks up behind him*
Aragorn: and MORE kingsfoil!
Arwen: *sword is stuck*
Aragorn: and even more kingsfoil!
Arwen:* pulling on sword desperately*
Aragorn: and kingsfoil!
Arwen: *gives up on sword* damn it. *kicks Aragorn* so, a ranger caught off his guard
Aragorn: what th- oh, hi, Arwen! Guess what? Frodo got stabbed in the shoulder by a nazgul, and he's dying! Can you take him to Elrond so he can get better?
Arwen: um I guess
Aragorn: he's over here *leads Arwen back to camp*
Frodo: ow
Arwen: *puts Frodo on her horse* y'all can catch up later, kay? *gallops toward rivendell*
Ringwraith Tony: go say you're sorry, Howard
Ringwraith Howard: no, you idiot!
All Ringwraiths except Howard: then we'll say it for you! *start to chase Arwen*
Arwen: damn it. *crosses river and calls flood*
Frodo: ow
Ringwraith frank: *floating away* we're sorry!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
This is the first chapter of the new and improved, Tolkien never saw it coming. Review, please!
A note: Lauren is a friend of mine, who is the security, and a fangirl, in this story.
Wouldn't reviewing make you so happy? *ahem*