~*~ The Council of Elrond ~*~

Elrond: Welcome, friends! Men with too many names that happen to be kings, tall guys that are unaffected by dirt, short guys with lots of facial hair, and little guys with really hairy feet!!

Gandalf: (clears throat) I think you may have forgotten someone

Elrond: no, I don't think so

Everyone: *gasp* Elrond forgot Gandalf!!

Elrond: oh sorry man, my bad

Gandalf: hmmph.

Elrond: Where's the tall guy that's unaffected by dirt?

Aragorn: yeah, where's legolas?

Legolas: (who shouts this from the hall, conveniently at the exact moment when they are discussing him) Aragorn! Help! The evil fangirls! (Legolas comes running in, followed by a huge group of screaming teenagers)

Fan girl # 199,845: I LOVE YOU LEGGY!!!!

Legolas screams and jumps out window

Fan girl # 372,598: LOOK IT'S ARAGORN!!!

Aragorn screams and jumps out window

Frodo: (hiding behind chair) make them go away!

Fan girl # 491,366: FRODO!!!!

Frodo's eyes get really big and scared looking

Fan girl # 483,529: AHHHHHH! HIS EYES!

Fan girls scream and run away

Everyone cheers for Frodo

Boromir: (sticks head out window) Legolas! Aragorn! Their gone!!

Boromir sits down

Legolas climbs in window, followed by Aragorn. They sit down

Elrond: OK then now we're all gonna die because of that evil Sauron and his little watchamacallit of doom. Frodo, my man, lets see it!!

Frodo crawls out from behind his chair and puts the ring on the stone table, then returns to his seat.

Boromir: Oh my god! This is a gift people! We should be using it! We should celebrate! (starts singing) celebrate good times come on!

Everyone puts their hands on their ears

Elrond: it needs to be destroyed, not used!

Gimli: well then what are you waiting for?

Gimli runs up and tries to smash the ring, but trips and instead send the ring flying into Boromirs hands. Boromir stops singing. Hands are removed from ears.

Boromir: oh la la la! (makes to put the ring on.)

Aragorn: don't do that.

Boromir: why not?

Aragorn: because I'm your king, and I said so.

Boromir: too bad (continues to put on ring, conveniently slowly)

Aragorn tackles Boromir and they both star rolling on the floor, fighting for the ring.

Elrond: (raising voce to be heard above sounds of fighting) so that means that someone will have to chuck the evil ring into mount doom! Way cool! But wait, there's more! Whoever takes the ring will be hunted by evil wraiths and orcs! And there is even the chance that the ring will corrupt you near the end of the quest and your finger will need to be bitten off in order to complete it! Any takers?

All: ( you hear crickets chirping, flies buzzing, and the sounds of Aragorn and Boromir fighting)

Elrond: well, how about you, Frodo?

Frodo: ummmmmm.....

Elrond: Wonderful! And the elf can go with him, and the wizard, and those two (points to Aragorn and Boromir, who are now fighting over nothing as the ring has rolled out of their grasp and been replaced on the table) , and how about a few hobbits? Great!! You can set off in a week!

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If a get a single review that says its good, I'll update!! If I'm on a sugar high, I'll put up TWO chapters! So be good and review, kiddies!!!