Chapter 3: Vital Information with Draco Malfoy
Lee Jordan: And now here's Draco Malfoy with, hopefully, vital information for your everyday lives.
*Cameras zoom to Vital Information set, where Draco is wearing a gray suit and tie behind Danny's (or whoever it is now) desk, playing with a pink slinky while singing " A slinky, a slinky..." He notices the cameras and immediately puts the slinky down, his face the color of a cherry. There is still a piece of lettuce on top of his white-blonde head. Lee points to it and Draco chucks it, now the color of a lobster...*
Draco: What's ugly, tall, and red all over?
Audience: I dunno, what?
Draco: RON! *Ron's face rises to 100 degrees*
Snape: You're supposed to be giving information, not silly children's jokes!
Draco: Oh, sorry Professor...how about this: If you're shopping in a muggle store and you're not drunk, don't shout out really loud "HEY I'M A WIZARD HEAR ME ROAR!" unless you're Harry, Ron, or Hermione. *Laugh sign blinks and everyone laughs. Draco turns his head to the side.*
Draco: When you're playing Quidditch and you see the snitch, don't catch it! It has vicious teeth and will surely bite you! *No one laughs but Harry, because he thinks it funny that Draco thinks he could convince him not to catch the snitch! Draco turns his head to the front again.*
Draco: If you're a house elf and you haven't been presented with clothes, then consult Hermione, who has just finished knitting some lovely polka- dotted house-elf underwear! *Everyone laughs but Hermione, who looks daggers at Malfoy.*
Lee: This has been Draco Malfoy with vital information for an idiot's daily life. *Malfoy scowls.* That's it so far. I don't know if I'll continue, maybe if I get some feedback... If I do, here's what you'll have to look forward to : Cookin' with Hagrid, one or more skits and the musical guest. Don't steal my ideas!
Lee Jordan: And now here's Draco Malfoy with, hopefully, vital information for your everyday lives.
*Cameras zoom to Vital Information set, where Draco is wearing a gray suit and tie behind Danny's (or whoever it is now) desk, playing with a pink slinky while singing " A slinky, a slinky..." He notices the cameras and immediately puts the slinky down, his face the color of a cherry. There is still a piece of lettuce on top of his white-blonde head. Lee points to it and Draco chucks it, now the color of a lobster...*
Draco: What's ugly, tall, and red all over?
Audience: I dunno, what?
Draco: RON! *Ron's face rises to 100 degrees*
Snape: You're supposed to be giving information, not silly children's jokes!
Draco: Oh, sorry Professor...how about this: If you're shopping in a muggle store and you're not drunk, don't shout out really loud "HEY I'M A WIZARD HEAR ME ROAR!" unless you're Harry, Ron, or Hermione. *Laugh sign blinks and everyone laughs. Draco turns his head to the side.*
Draco: When you're playing Quidditch and you see the snitch, don't catch it! It has vicious teeth and will surely bite you! *No one laughs but Harry, because he thinks it funny that Draco thinks he could convince him not to catch the snitch! Draco turns his head to the front again.*
Draco: If you're a house elf and you haven't been presented with clothes, then consult Hermione, who has just finished knitting some lovely polka- dotted house-elf underwear! *Everyone laughs but Hermione, who looks daggers at Malfoy.*
Lee: This has been Draco Malfoy with vital information for an idiot's daily life. *Malfoy scowls.* That's it so far. I don't know if I'll continue, maybe if I get some feedback... If I do, here's what you'll have to look forward to : Cookin' with Hagrid, one or more skits and the musical guest. Don't steal my ideas!