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property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers! Review and I'll love you,
just don't sue!
Chapter 5: Ask Hermione
*Camera zooms to the Ask Ashley set where Hermione is sitting Indian style on the set bed, wearing Amanda's outfit, and holding a pile of letters. She looks depressed, too.*
McGonagall: Hermione dear, what's wrong?
Hermione: Lockhart...he...he...quit! So did Hagrid!
McGonagall: You forgot Snape.
Hermione: That's because I'm glad he quit!
McGonagall: Don't worry, that was all a prank. I set the whole thing up with the Die Hard 4 producers. *Hermione looks significantly cheerer.*
Hermione: Oh...but why?
McGonagall: It's April Fools Day!
Hermione: Um...I hate to break it to you, Professor, but it's July.
McGonagall: *consults a calendar* Hey, you're right...well it's July Fools Day, then, and please continue with the skit.
Hermione: Ok. Hi Everyone and welcome to Ask Hermione! This is the part of the show where you can ask me for advice or help on anything! And the first letter comes from... *opens a letter* Um... Ron Weasley from the All That set. *reads letter*
Dear Hermione, (That's me!)
I can't believe you spent the first half of summer with Viktor Krum! He never smiles and acts like a savage and quite frankly, I thought you could do better than that hook-nosed freak. Well, that's all I have to say. See you after the show!
Ron Weasley, Set of All That, lunchroom
Hermione: Um, Ron, not to be rude or anything but THIS IS AN ADVICE LINE! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ASK FOR ADVICE, NOT BASH VIKTOR LIKE YOU HAVE IN THE OTHER HUNDRED LETTERS YOU SENT ME ABOUT THIS TODAY ALONE! *composes herself; McGonagall is so shocked to hear Hermione yelling that she lets it go* Anyway Ron, for all you know all we did was go skiing. And why do you get so upset over me going out with Viktor, anyway? It's not your responsibility! In any case, it's time for another letter. *opens another letter* And this one is signed by... the white-blonde headed boy.
Dear Hermione, (That's me!)
What's the best way to get back at someone who, say, dumps a bowlful of lettuce over your head causing a migration of bunnies to follow you wherever you go?
The white- blonde headed boy
Hermione: Hmm... that's a difficult one... how about DON'T DRESS UP IN A BOTTLE OF BLEU CHEESE DRESSING AND ASK FOR SALAD! BUNNIES LIKE SALAD! SALAD= BUNNIES! GET IT, DRACO? By the way, gooood code name, you're the only white-blonde headed boy in the school. Ok, and the next letter is from.........Voldemort. *A shiver is spread throughout the audience and some people gasp.* Oh, come on, why are you all afraid of his name?!?!?
Dear Hermione, (Thaaats me!)
I'd like to know how to get back at someone who has destroyed someone else's powers 15 years ago. I know you are the smartest person at Hogwarts and that you would know the answer. *Hermione looks flattered.* If you could just tell me how to destroy The Boy Who Lived it would be very helpful.
Signed,
Voldemort *shiver goes through the audience again*
Hermione: Well...actually, I do know how to destroy Harry once and for all. And since you're the only one who asked for relevant advice, I'm going to tell you. *Everyone can't believe their ears; Voldemort gets out a piece of parchment and a quill, ready to take notes*
Hermione: Well, it's quite easy, really. First you have to....................... *Hermione rambles on for about an hour; Voldemort fills 2 pages of parchment, fron and back.* That's about it, really. Thanks for the educated question! *Everyone is in shock* That's all the time I have today, so tune in next time for......Ask...... Oh, really! *An owl flies to the set and drops a letter, which Hermione catches and rips open; she reads it aloud.*
Dear Hermione,
Sorry for bugging you! I didn't mean it about Krum...OK so he's not a savage, but he never does smile, that's a fact! You can't deny that, Hermione! Well, I have to go get ready for the next skit. Bye!
Ron Weasley, the set, the audience, the front row, seat number 4
OK, so he's not a savage, but he's still a hook-nosed freak? Ok, Ron.... I really hope Viktor isn't watching this right now... *Ron now looks scared; he quickly gets up and runs to the changing rooms.*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~End of Chapter 5. Maybe I'll do skits over again, but I don't know. Review if you want me to continue with this! If you know of any skits from the old-school All That (the All That with Danny, Kell, Kenan, etc., not the newer ones!) that I didn't include and you'd like written up HP style, then e-mail me with suggestions! My email is Springkitten88@yahoo.com. I may or may not use all suggestions. It may take a while for me to respond/update, what with schoolwork and limited online time. Check out my other fics, which include: A Hermione's Diary, A Blue's Clues Parody, and songfics! (My author name is Valias) ~*~*Valia*~*~
Chapter 5: Ask Hermione
*Camera zooms to the Ask Ashley set where Hermione is sitting Indian style on the set bed, wearing Amanda's outfit, and holding a pile of letters. She looks depressed, too.*
McGonagall: Hermione dear, what's wrong?
Hermione: Lockhart...he...he...quit! So did Hagrid!
McGonagall: You forgot Snape.
Hermione: That's because I'm glad he quit!
McGonagall: Don't worry, that was all a prank. I set the whole thing up with the Die Hard 4 producers. *Hermione looks significantly cheerer.*
Hermione: Oh...but why?
McGonagall: It's April Fools Day!
Hermione: Um...I hate to break it to you, Professor, but it's July.
McGonagall: *consults a calendar* Hey, you're right...well it's July Fools Day, then, and please continue with the skit.
Hermione: Ok. Hi Everyone and welcome to Ask Hermione! This is the part of the show where you can ask me for advice or help on anything! And the first letter comes from... *opens a letter* Um... Ron Weasley from the All That set. *reads letter*
Dear Hermione, (That's me!)
I can't believe you spent the first half of summer with Viktor Krum! He never smiles and acts like a savage and quite frankly, I thought you could do better than that hook-nosed freak. Well, that's all I have to say. See you after the show!
Ron Weasley, Set of All That, lunchroom
Hermione: Um, Ron, not to be rude or anything but THIS IS AN ADVICE LINE! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ASK FOR ADVICE, NOT BASH VIKTOR LIKE YOU HAVE IN THE OTHER HUNDRED LETTERS YOU SENT ME ABOUT THIS TODAY ALONE! *composes herself; McGonagall is so shocked to hear Hermione yelling that she lets it go* Anyway Ron, for all you know all we did was go skiing. And why do you get so upset over me going out with Viktor, anyway? It's not your responsibility! In any case, it's time for another letter. *opens another letter* And this one is signed by... the white-blonde headed boy.
Dear Hermione, (That's me!)
What's the best way to get back at someone who, say, dumps a bowlful of lettuce over your head causing a migration of bunnies to follow you wherever you go?
The white- blonde headed boy
Hermione: Hmm... that's a difficult one... how about DON'T DRESS UP IN A BOTTLE OF BLEU CHEESE DRESSING AND ASK FOR SALAD! BUNNIES LIKE SALAD! SALAD= BUNNIES! GET IT, DRACO? By the way, gooood code name, you're the only white-blonde headed boy in the school. Ok, and the next letter is from.........Voldemort. *A shiver is spread throughout the audience and some people gasp.* Oh, come on, why are you all afraid of his name?!?!?
Dear Hermione, (Thaaats me!)
I'd like to know how to get back at someone who has destroyed someone else's powers 15 years ago. I know you are the smartest person at Hogwarts and that you would know the answer. *Hermione looks flattered.* If you could just tell me how to destroy The Boy Who Lived it would be very helpful.
Signed,
Voldemort *shiver goes through the audience again*
Hermione: Well...actually, I do know how to destroy Harry once and for all. And since you're the only one who asked for relevant advice, I'm going to tell you. *Everyone can't believe their ears; Voldemort gets out a piece of parchment and a quill, ready to take notes*
Hermione: Well, it's quite easy, really. First you have to....................... *Hermione rambles on for about an hour; Voldemort fills 2 pages of parchment, fron and back.* That's about it, really. Thanks for the educated question! *Everyone is in shock* That's all the time I have today, so tune in next time for......Ask...... Oh, really! *An owl flies to the set and drops a letter, which Hermione catches and rips open; she reads it aloud.*
Dear Hermione,
Sorry for bugging you! I didn't mean it about Krum...OK so he's not a savage, but he never does smile, that's a fact! You can't deny that, Hermione! Well, I have to go get ready for the next skit. Bye!
Ron Weasley, the set, the audience, the front row, seat number 4
OK, so he's not a savage, but he's still a hook-nosed freak? Ok, Ron.... I really hope Viktor isn't watching this right now... *Ron now looks scared; he quickly gets up and runs to the changing rooms.*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~End of Chapter 5. Maybe I'll do skits over again, but I don't know. Review if you want me to continue with this! If you know of any skits from the old-school All That (the All That with Danny, Kell, Kenan, etc., not the newer ones!) that I didn't include and you'd like written up HP style, then e-mail me with suggestions! My email is Springkitten88@yahoo.com. I may or may not use all suggestions. It may take a while for me to respond/update, what with schoolwork and limited online time. Check out my other fics, which include: A Hermione's Diary, A Blue's Clues Parody, and songfics! (My author name is Valias) ~*~*Valia*~*~