Chapter 6- Judge Looney
The Last Chapter of this parody.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, never have, never will.
Summary: This is a short parody of Judge Trudy from the Amanda Show. I know the Amanda Show is not All That, but Amanda was on All That. Luna Lovegood is Judge Loony. Lee Jordan is the moderator, and Crabbe and Goyle are the police guards.
Lee: The first case is between Harry Potter and Severus Snape. Harry is accusing Snape of making him go in front off the class and do the hokey pokey. Snape says that Potter is a dolt and probably had too many butterbeers. I'm hungry.
Judge Loony: All arise. *Everyone rises.* Be seated. *Everyone sits down, even Crabbe and Goyle.* Um, you guys are supposed to be standing! *Crabbe and Goyle grunt stupidly and get back up.* Mr. Potter, you claim that Snape made you do the hokey pokey in front of the entire class, is that right?
Harry: *shivers* Yes. *Everyone gasps disbelievingly and looks accusingly at Snape.*
Snape: This boy doesn't-
Judge Loony: *Slams her gavel down.* SILENCE! Now, Mr. Potter, why would Snape make you do such an embarrassing thing?
Harry: I don't know. One time he made Ron cut up Draco's dung beetles for him.
Judge Loony: Is that right, Mr. Weasley? *Ron, who is a witness of Harry's, nods. Everyone gasps yet again.* Unbelievable.
Snape: That was only because-
Judge Loony: *Slams down her gavel yet again.* BE QUIET! Now, Mr. Weasley, you say you saw this happen?
Ron: Erm, yeah. I came into class late, and Harry was front and center, singing, "You put your left foot in..."
Judge Loony: That's enough, Mr. Weasley. Members of the Jury, if you think Snape is guilty, say "cheese." *Everyone says cheese.* Snape, you are hereby guilty of humiliating Mr. Harry Potter. Any last words?
Snape: I WANT A RETRIAL!
Judge Loony: Too late. You are now sentenced to, uh, do the Macarena while singing it in front of the audience.
Snape: No, I won't. I refuse- *Judge Looney puts a spell on him that makes him go in front of the audience and do the Macarena.* "Hey Macarena, Macarena, Macarena..."
Judge Loony: *laughing* Bring in the dancing shrimp! *Crabbe and Goyle open the door and Draco runs in with a flock of bunnies following him.*
Draco: *Runs off the set.* Ah! Get away from me! *The shrimp then come in and do the Macarena with Snape, Judge Loony, Harry, Ron, and everyone else.*
Lee Jordan: And now, let me introduce our musical guest. *drumroll* With number one hits all over the wizarding billboards, here is the celebrated, the legend, Mr. Gilderoy Lockhart, with special guest, Percy Weasley! *Everyone cheers. The stage, which was just dark, is now lit up. Lockhart is wearing khaki pants and a button down shirt and is standing behind a microphone on a stand. Percy isn't out yet. The song goes to "It's Gonna Be Me" by Nsync.
Lockhart: You might have split ends, babe, that ain't no lie. You've seen them come and go, oh. I can't remember, but you told me That it made you believe in No Pantene, *sigh* Maybe that's why...
Percy walks out to screams. He is wearing a green shirt and jeans. The dancing shrimp run onto stage and take the microphones, with Crabbe and Goyle chasing them with a giant fork. Lockhart and Percy walk forward a bit, so that they are closer to the audience, who scream again. (Lockhart and Percy are also wearing microphone ear pieces.)
*Chorus* (They are dancing like Nsync, with background dancers (Dumbledore, Karkaroff, and Fudge) in the distance.
Every brand shampoo you use Never seems enough for you You don't want to use them again Well I've better shampoo then them Baby, when you finally Use shampoo named by me Guess what, your hair'll be clean.
*Percy backs up with the dancers as Lockhart takes center stage with a microphone that someone in the back handed to him.*
You've got no choice, babe But to switch to my shampoo, you know There ain't no hair to waste, 'cause you're just Too blonde (like me) to see But in the end you know it's gonna be me You can't deny So just tell me why
*Percy walks forward again and Lockhart throws the microphone in the back, accidentally hitting one of the shrimp. It rubs its head and continues running away from Crabbe and Goyle. Dumbledore, Karkaroff, and Fudge start dancing again.*
Every brand shampoo you use Never seems enough for you You don't want to use them again Well I've better shampoo then them Baby, when you finally Use shampoo named by me Guess what, you're hair'll be clean.
*Percy now delivers his solo. He and Lockhart do that tilt thing like Michael Jackson.* There comes a day When you'll rinse and repeat With Lockhart... with Lockhart Brand, sweet. (Pulls a bottle of Lockhart Shampoo out of his pocket, smiles, and throws it in the audience. Hermione catches it, much to Ron's dismay.)
*Lockhart and Percy are now singing.* Shampoo you use Is not enough for you Don't want no split ends Lockhart: So use my shampoo When finally you get to choose (shampoo) Guess what, it's gonna be mine. *Everyone claps. The All That cast walks on stage, including Filch with his plate of kiwis. Everyone is wise not to take one. Everyone but Lockhart that is. As he takes a kiwi, he is transported back to whatever planet he came from.
Percy: WAIT!
Everyone else: What?
Percy: I have one more thing to sing. *blaring beat-like music starts playing. Percy snaps his fingers and is now wearing an outfit like Eminem's. Lee Jordan hops on stage with him with an identical outfit on. Percy is handed a microphone from Lee, who also has one. The All That cast moves to the sides.*
(This goes to 21 Questions by 50 cent) I don't really know all the lyrics to this song, keep in mind. Percy: *rapping* If I joined the Quidditch team, would you still love me? If I didn't catch the snitch, would you still hug me? If I fell off my broom and broke my behind, would you be willing to go to Hogsmeade to get me Every Flavor Beans?
If I became Hogwart's Headmaster, would you hate me? If I beat you at cauldron packing, would I be a geek? I'm down with cauldron packing, you know I like that. Now here's the chorus, I know you hate that.
*Now Lee joins in with the chorus.* Girl, you know it's easy to love me now. But would you love me if I ate Mounds or gained pounds Would you still have love for me...
Harry: Hey, the show's over!
Lee: But we just got started!
Harry: We're on a budget!
*Percy and Lee skulk away, while a mob of fan girls look daggers at Harry.*
Harry: Well, that's all for today. We'll see you next time on *Everyone* All That!
~* End of Chapter 6. Read and review! : ) *~ Did anyone catch any references from any of my other fics? There were a couple!
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, never have, never will.
Summary: This is a short parody of Judge Trudy from the Amanda Show. I know the Amanda Show is not All That, but Amanda was on All That. Luna Lovegood is Judge Loony. Lee Jordan is the moderator, and Crabbe and Goyle are the police guards.
Lee: The first case is between Harry Potter and Severus Snape. Harry is accusing Snape of making him go in front off the class and do the hokey pokey. Snape says that Potter is a dolt and probably had too many butterbeers. I'm hungry.
Judge Loony: All arise. *Everyone rises.* Be seated. *Everyone sits down, even Crabbe and Goyle.* Um, you guys are supposed to be standing! *Crabbe and Goyle grunt stupidly and get back up.* Mr. Potter, you claim that Snape made you do the hokey pokey in front of the entire class, is that right?
Harry: *shivers* Yes. *Everyone gasps disbelievingly and looks accusingly at Snape.*
Snape: This boy doesn't-
Judge Loony: *Slams her gavel down.* SILENCE! Now, Mr. Potter, why would Snape make you do such an embarrassing thing?
Harry: I don't know. One time he made Ron cut up Draco's dung beetles for him.
Judge Loony: Is that right, Mr. Weasley? *Ron, who is a witness of Harry's, nods. Everyone gasps yet again.* Unbelievable.
Snape: That was only because-
Judge Loony: *Slams down her gavel yet again.* BE QUIET! Now, Mr. Weasley, you say you saw this happen?
Ron: Erm, yeah. I came into class late, and Harry was front and center, singing, "You put your left foot in..."
Judge Loony: That's enough, Mr. Weasley. Members of the Jury, if you think Snape is guilty, say "cheese." *Everyone says cheese.* Snape, you are hereby guilty of humiliating Mr. Harry Potter. Any last words?
Snape: I WANT A RETRIAL!
Judge Loony: Too late. You are now sentenced to, uh, do the Macarena while singing it in front of the audience.
Snape: No, I won't. I refuse- *Judge Looney puts a spell on him that makes him go in front of the audience and do the Macarena.* "Hey Macarena, Macarena, Macarena..."
Judge Loony: *laughing* Bring in the dancing shrimp! *Crabbe and Goyle open the door and Draco runs in with a flock of bunnies following him.*
Draco: *Runs off the set.* Ah! Get away from me! *The shrimp then come in and do the Macarena with Snape, Judge Loony, Harry, Ron, and everyone else.*
Lee Jordan: And now, let me introduce our musical guest. *drumroll* With number one hits all over the wizarding billboards, here is the celebrated, the legend, Mr. Gilderoy Lockhart, with special guest, Percy Weasley! *Everyone cheers. The stage, which was just dark, is now lit up. Lockhart is wearing khaki pants and a button down shirt and is standing behind a microphone on a stand. Percy isn't out yet. The song goes to "It's Gonna Be Me" by Nsync.
Lockhart: You might have split ends, babe, that ain't no lie. You've seen them come and go, oh. I can't remember, but you told me That it made you believe in No Pantene, *sigh* Maybe that's why...
Percy walks out to screams. He is wearing a green shirt and jeans. The dancing shrimp run onto stage and take the microphones, with Crabbe and Goyle chasing them with a giant fork. Lockhart and Percy walk forward a bit, so that they are closer to the audience, who scream again. (Lockhart and Percy are also wearing microphone ear pieces.)
*Chorus* (They are dancing like Nsync, with background dancers (Dumbledore, Karkaroff, and Fudge) in the distance.
Every brand shampoo you use Never seems enough for you You don't want to use them again Well I've better shampoo then them Baby, when you finally Use shampoo named by me Guess what, your hair'll be clean.
*Percy backs up with the dancers as Lockhart takes center stage with a microphone that someone in the back handed to him.*
You've got no choice, babe But to switch to my shampoo, you know There ain't no hair to waste, 'cause you're just Too blonde (like me) to see But in the end you know it's gonna be me You can't deny So just tell me why
*Percy walks forward again and Lockhart throws the microphone in the back, accidentally hitting one of the shrimp. It rubs its head and continues running away from Crabbe and Goyle. Dumbledore, Karkaroff, and Fudge start dancing again.*
Every brand shampoo you use Never seems enough for you You don't want to use them again Well I've better shampoo then them Baby, when you finally Use shampoo named by me Guess what, you're hair'll be clean.
*Percy now delivers his solo. He and Lockhart do that tilt thing like Michael Jackson.* There comes a day When you'll rinse and repeat With Lockhart... with Lockhart Brand, sweet. (Pulls a bottle of Lockhart Shampoo out of his pocket, smiles, and throws it in the audience. Hermione catches it, much to Ron's dismay.)
*Lockhart and Percy are now singing.* Shampoo you use Is not enough for you Don't want no split ends Lockhart: So use my shampoo When finally you get to choose (shampoo) Guess what, it's gonna be mine. *Everyone claps. The All That cast walks on stage, including Filch with his plate of kiwis. Everyone is wise not to take one. Everyone but Lockhart that is. As he takes a kiwi, he is transported back to whatever planet he came from.
Percy: WAIT!
Everyone else: What?
Percy: I have one more thing to sing. *blaring beat-like music starts playing. Percy snaps his fingers and is now wearing an outfit like Eminem's. Lee Jordan hops on stage with him with an identical outfit on. Percy is handed a microphone from Lee, who also has one. The All That cast moves to the sides.*
(This goes to 21 Questions by 50 cent) I don't really know all the lyrics to this song, keep in mind. Percy: *rapping* If I joined the Quidditch team, would you still love me? If I didn't catch the snitch, would you still hug me? If I fell off my broom and broke my behind, would you be willing to go to Hogsmeade to get me Every Flavor Beans?
If I became Hogwart's Headmaster, would you hate me? If I beat you at cauldron packing, would I be a geek? I'm down with cauldron packing, you know I like that. Now here's the chorus, I know you hate that.
*Now Lee joins in with the chorus.* Girl, you know it's easy to love me now. But would you love me if I ate Mounds or gained pounds Would you still have love for me...
Harry: Hey, the show's over!
Lee: But we just got started!
Harry: We're on a budget!
*Percy and Lee skulk away, while a mob of fan girls look daggers at Harry.*
Harry: Well, that's all for today. We'll see you next time on *Everyone* All That!
~* End of Chapter 6. Read and review! : ) *~ Did anyone catch any references from any of my other fics? There were a couple!