Author's note: You may want to read the first story in this mini-series, entitled "Frost: Kenshin's Heart." You don't have to, but it would make me quite happy. ^.^x
FROST
Tomoe's Heart
(second of two)
by Keishiko
You sit at the window, watching the snowflakes swirl outside. It is freezing inside the cottage, but you do not seem to shiver. Your eyes are soft and lost far away. There is a haunting look in them, one of doubt and unease that emanates from the very bone. It troubles me.
My Kenshin, Kenshin, Kenshin...
My beloved husband. Sometimes I find myself wishing I could turn back time for you. The doubt in your beautiful violet eyes, the unrest and regret, seem to have been there since time immemorial. Your short life has been full of darkness, dimmed with undeserved evil since the beginning. How I wish I could erase the shadows from your face, the uncertainty and guilt from your soul, as easily as I push back your hair or smooth the folds of your gi! How I wish I could take away the sadness and blame and replace them with light and innocence!
You have been molded your entire life to be like the sword you so skillfully wield: sharp, keen, cold and hard and unbending as steel. For surely a softer, weaker spirit could never survive the harshness you have suffered! You have learned to fight, and you have dealt swift death to your enemies. You have learned to listen for the difference between the step of a friend and the footfall of an opponent. You have learned the small, imperceptible skills that separate those who die from those who survive.
Kenshin. I never meant to fall in love with you -- the very man I had resolved to hate. Seething with the regret and pain of a love gone to waste, I wanted to ensure that Akira's murder would not go unavenged. How ironic that I fell into a trap before I could complete my own! Love is a silken snare, but now it holds me as surely as would steel or iron, and stays my hand far better than could the strongest chains.
It is our own misfortune, to have been born into this age of bloodshed and war. We have sacrificed so much, you and I. We have both been forced to bend against ourselves, to surrender to the whims of this violent world in order to survive. And now that we have been brought together, we cling to each other in the desperate hope of love, finding one steady, unfailing station in the midst of a confusing world, finding peace and comfort amid the heartless cruelty of mankind turning in upon itself.
My Kenshin, Kenshin. In the midst of this civil war that seems to have no end, as man turns against man, without heart, without soul, we are stranded, left to fend for ourselves. And so your eyes keep their wary vigil, uneasy and unwilling to trust.
I approach, and instantly you look at me. The wariness in your gaze, now upon me, is twice as saddening. But as I reach out to you, it fades, a little bit.
Without a word I fold you in my arms, and you clasp me just as silently. Words are soundless as the winter breeze between us. Eloquent enough for me is the warmth of your embrace, the relief in the small sigh that ruffles my hair and tickles my ear, the look in your eyes of rest, of calm, of peace.
If that is all I can give you, my Kenshin, I give it willingly.
* owari *
Now, before Tomoe-haters begin to flood my inbox with hate mail, I'd like to explain. It's easy to look at the first Mrs. Himura as this hard, numb, unfeeling cold fish whose sole aim was to get even with Kenshin for killing Kiyosato -- I'm half of that opinion myself, believe me. But I also want to believe, if for poor Ken-san's sake alone, that she did in fact feel *something* for Kenshin. Else why would she sacrifice herself when he and that old Yaminobu guy Tatsumi were fighting?
Thanks and salutations (as of 12 Apr 2004)!
Wistful-Eyes: Ha ha! Excellent summary of that part of Kenshin's life: concise, but substantial, personal, and to the point. I like that. ^.^
Angelic Gothique: Hey, cool name! ^.^ Thanks for taking the time to review.
hpdigigal: It really wasn't that hard... at that point in Kenshin's life, he and Tomoe really are a little too much alike. ^.^; Thank you for stopping by!
Aikawarazu Ai: Thanks! I'm glad you liked this. Though you'll see from my other fics that I will have to disagree a bit on your definition of Kamiya Kaoru... but that's all right, I'm honored to receive your honest opinions. ^.^
ChiisaiLammy: Wow to you too. Thank you, thank you. This unworthy one is especially grateful for the praise coming from an obviously expert writer such as yourself! *bows, bows, and bows again*
FROST
Tomoe's Heart
(second of two)
by Keishiko
You sit at the window, watching the snowflakes swirl outside. It is freezing inside the cottage, but you do not seem to shiver. Your eyes are soft and lost far away. There is a haunting look in them, one of doubt and unease that emanates from the very bone. It troubles me.
My Kenshin, Kenshin, Kenshin...
My beloved husband. Sometimes I find myself wishing I could turn back time for you. The doubt in your beautiful violet eyes, the unrest and regret, seem to have been there since time immemorial. Your short life has been full of darkness, dimmed with undeserved evil since the beginning. How I wish I could erase the shadows from your face, the uncertainty and guilt from your soul, as easily as I push back your hair or smooth the folds of your gi! How I wish I could take away the sadness and blame and replace them with light and innocence!
You have been molded your entire life to be like the sword you so skillfully wield: sharp, keen, cold and hard and unbending as steel. For surely a softer, weaker spirit could never survive the harshness you have suffered! You have learned to fight, and you have dealt swift death to your enemies. You have learned to listen for the difference between the step of a friend and the footfall of an opponent. You have learned the small, imperceptible skills that separate those who die from those who survive.
Kenshin. I never meant to fall in love with you -- the very man I had resolved to hate. Seething with the regret and pain of a love gone to waste, I wanted to ensure that Akira's murder would not go unavenged. How ironic that I fell into a trap before I could complete my own! Love is a silken snare, but now it holds me as surely as would steel or iron, and stays my hand far better than could the strongest chains.
It is our own misfortune, to have been born into this age of bloodshed and war. We have sacrificed so much, you and I. We have both been forced to bend against ourselves, to surrender to the whims of this violent world in order to survive. And now that we have been brought together, we cling to each other in the desperate hope of love, finding one steady, unfailing station in the midst of a confusing world, finding peace and comfort amid the heartless cruelty of mankind turning in upon itself.
My Kenshin, Kenshin. In the midst of this civil war that seems to have no end, as man turns against man, without heart, without soul, we are stranded, left to fend for ourselves. And so your eyes keep their wary vigil, uneasy and unwilling to trust.
I approach, and instantly you look at me. The wariness in your gaze, now upon me, is twice as saddening. But as I reach out to you, it fades, a little bit.
Without a word I fold you in my arms, and you clasp me just as silently. Words are soundless as the winter breeze between us. Eloquent enough for me is the warmth of your embrace, the relief in the small sigh that ruffles my hair and tickles my ear, the look in your eyes of rest, of calm, of peace.
If that is all I can give you, my Kenshin, I give it willingly.
* owari *
Now, before Tomoe-haters begin to flood my inbox with hate mail, I'd like to explain. It's easy to look at the first Mrs. Himura as this hard, numb, unfeeling cold fish whose sole aim was to get even with Kenshin for killing Kiyosato -- I'm half of that opinion myself, believe me. But I also want to believe, if for poor Ken-san's sake alone, that she did in fact feel *something* for Kenshin. Else why would she sacrifice herself when he and that old Yaminobu guy Tatsumi were fighting?
Thanks and salutations (as of 12 Apr 2004)!
Wistful-Eyes: Ha ha! Excellent summary of that part of Kenshin's life: concise, but substantial, personal, and to the point. I like that. ^.^
Angelic Gothique: Hey, cool name! ^.^ Thanks for taking the time to review.
hpdigigal: It really wasn't that hard... at that point in Kenshin's life, he and Tomoe really are a little too much alike. ^.^; Thank you for stopping by!
Aikawarazu Ai: Thanks! I'm glad you liked this. Though you'll see from my other fics that I will have to disagree a bit on your definition of Kamiya Kaoru... but that's all right, I'm honored to receive your honest opinions. ^.^
ChiisaiLammy: Wow to you too. Thank you, thank you. This unworthy one is especially grateful for the praise coming from an obviously expert writer such as yourself! *bows, bows, and bows again*