CHAPTER ELEVEN
Trinity leads me into the area of the Neb containing the mainframe, along with the plugging stations.
'Lie down there,' she orders, indicating one of the stations. Silently, I obey and settle myself in.
'Relax,' she says, as she shoves the plug into the back of my head. I wince as I feel myself being transported through time, through space, through void, and then, suddenly, plummet to a new place. The matrix. I am plugged into the matrix. And I am scared beyond shitlessness.
I am standing in the centre of a dark room. The only light I can see is the faint glimmer of a candle, somewhere in the far corner. I shiver, perhaps not because of the icy draft whispering through the air, but because of a combination of my fear and my anger at my lack of courage. I am a grown man. I can deal with the bogey-man. Or can I? I don't know if I want to find out.
My knees start to quiver as I note Trinity's continued absence. Where is she? I panic, a sweat breaking out over my forehead. Please let her come, please let her be here…I shudder involuntarily. I am ashamed to admit it, but I am petrified of being left alone. Left alone to the mercy of myself and to the mercy of whatever danger lurks around me.
I am about to sit down, when I hear something behind me. Whirling around, I find myself face-to-face with Trinity, the contours of her face highlighted and outlined by the light of the candle, still flickering in the corner. In this light, she looks both radiant and more beautiful than I have ever seen her before. My breath catches as I look at her. I still feel incredulous. She is mine. She is mine.
'Sorry about that,' she says, dusting off her pants, though they are spotless. 'I had to get Link come in and plug me in. It took awhile. He was busy talking to Niobe about something.' She smiles at me. 'Come on,' she says. 'Let's go.' She takes my hand, and runs – no, glides – off towards the door. Hesitantly I follow.
She runs like both a graceful ballerina, arching and gliding delicately through the air, and like a gazelle, swift and steady. On the other hand, I am clumsy, unfit and relatively unco-ordinated. I lumber behind her like a wounded gazelle. Still, I don't mind. At that moment, the adrenaline rushing of running the way we are is leaving me on a momentary high.
She sharply turns a corner. We keep going, wordlessly, running along the street, towards a destination I have no clue of. It seems like we are running for hours, but for all I know, it might only be minutes.
Finally we reach the seashore. We stop. I pant a little; Trinity does not. Trinity makes a funny little noise, and suddenly I feel myself being transported again. Moments later, we are both standing on the edge of a cliff, overlooking the sea. It is nighttime. The sky is velvety blue, dotted with tiny stars. The universe is an inky wash of mauves and blues. My breath catches again. It is so beautiful. It is difficult to imagine that there is a greater evil lurking within and beyond this world.
Trinity sits down, cross-legged, on the edge of the cliff. There is no danger. The cliff is secure, and we are at least a metre from its edge. She hugs her knees to her chest. 'I come here when I want to think and be alone,' she says, gazing out at the expanse beyond us. Below, I can hear the rhythmic crashing of the waves. 'It takes me away from everything.' She pauses. 'I come here when I want to think of you.' She turns to me. 'Don't you think it's beautiful?'
I nod, joining her on the ground. 'It is,' I agree.
She reaches out and takes my hand. 'I wish,' she says, 'for something better than all this.'
I don't reply.
'I found it, though,' she goes on. 'In you. That's where I found the truth. That's where I found me. Where I found happiness.'
I dip my head slightly. I feel suddenly cold. 'How can you have so much faith in one person?' I ask.
'When you love them, you can have and do anything.'
I feel tears prickle at the back of my eyes. 'Trinity, I'm scared.'
She turns to me and squeezes my hand tightly. 'Don't be scared,' she says. 'I'm always here for you. No matter what.'
'But I'm scared…of you…of losing you, like last time.'
'But Neo, everybody loses the people they love at some time or another.'
A tear trickles down my cheek. 'I remember so much. I don't want to lose you. And I don't want you to have faith in me. Because I am scared of letting myself down.' I swallow, wiping my tear away. 'I'm scared of letting you down.'
'If I fell from this cliff at this moment, I would know that you would be there to save me.'
'Please don't test that.'
'I won't. But if I did…'
'Don't talk about it, please.'
'I didn't come here to talk about misery, Neo. I came here to show you the beauty that is around us…and the beauty I have found in you. The beauty you have shown me, all those times we've been together. The beauty I feel when I look at you, when you touch me, when I think about how much I love you.'
She is so flowery and poetic. She's either feeling sentimental tonight, or has changed since I last knew her. Both seemed strong possibilities. Whatever it is, I don't care. I just want to hold her. And so I do.
She kisses me soon.
Later, she says, 'Neo, if I fell…'
'I'd catch you.' I don't need to hope anymore, or believe, or doubt. I know.
When we return to the Neb, we are holding hands. I retreat to my room, where she says goodnight. I tell her I need sleep, and time to think. She accepts it, and closes the door behind her.
I lie, face-up, on my bed, staring at the ceiling.
Now I feel I am ready. Something happened to me, something emotionally, something that made me realise that I am prepared to take on my role, my duty, as the One once again. I am ready to accept whatever the future has in store for me – again.
Trinity leads me into the area of the Neb containing the mainframe, along with the plugging stations.
'Lie down there,' she orders, indicating one of the stations. Silently, I obey and settle myself in.
'Relax,' she says, as she shoves the plug into the back of my head. I wince as I feel myself being transported through time, through space, through void, and then, suddenly, plummet to a new place. The matrix. I am plugged into the matrix. And I am scared beyond shitlessness.
I am standing in the centre of a dark room. The only light I can see is the faint glimmer of a candle, somewhere in the far corner. I shiver, perhaps not because of the icy draft whispering through the air, but because of a combination of my fear and my anger at my lack of courage. I am a grown man. I can deal with the bogey-man. Or can I? I don't know if I want to find out.
My knees start to quiver as I note Trinity's continued absence. Where is she? I panic, a sweat breaking out over my forehead. Please let her come, please let her be here…I shudder involuntarily. I am ashamed to admit it, but I am petrified of being left alone. Left alone to the mercy of myself and to the mercy of whatever danger lurks around me.
I am about to sit down, when I hear something behind me. Whirling around, I find myself face-to-face with Trinity, the contours of her face highlighted and outlined by the light of the candle, still flickering in the corner. In this light, she looks both radiant and more beautiful than I have ever seen her before. My breath catches as I look at her. I still feel incredulous. She is mine. She is mine.
'Sorry about that,' she says, dusting off her pants, though they are spotless. 'I had to get Link come in and plug me in. It took awhile. He was busy talking to Niobe about something.' She smiles at me. 'Come on,' she says. 'Let's go.' She takes my hand, and runs – no, glides – off towards the door. Hesitantly I follow.
She runs like both a graceful ballerina, arching and gliding delicately through the air, and like a gazelle, swift and steady. On the other hand, I am clumsy, unfit and relatively unco-ordinated. I lumber behind her like a wounded gazelle. Still, I don't mind. At that moment, the adrenaline rushing of running the way we are is leaving me on a momentary high.
She sharply turns a corner. We keep going, wordlessly, running along the street, towards a destination I have no clue of. It seems like we are running for hours, but for all I know, it might only be minutes.
Finally we reach the seashore. We stop. I pant a little; Trinity does not. Trinity makes a funny little noise, and suddenly I feel myself being transported again. Moments later, we are both standing on the edge of a cliff, overlooking the sea. It is nighttime. The sky is velvety blue, dotted with tiny stars. The universe is an inky wash of mauves and blues. My breath catches again. It is so beautiful. It is difficult to imagine that there is a greater evil lurking within and beyond this world.
Trinity sits down, cross-legged, on the edge of the cliff. There is no danger. The cliff is secure, and we are at least a metre from its edge. She hugs her knees to her chest. 'I come here when I want to think and be alone,' she says, gazing out at the expanse beyond us. Below, I can hear the rhythmic crashing of the waves. 'It takes me away from everything.' She pauses. 'I come here when I want to think of you.' She turns to me. 'Don't you think it's beautiful?'
I nod, joining her on the ground. 'It is,' I agree.
She reaches out and takes my hand. 'I wish,' she says, 'for something better than all this.'
I don't reply.
'I found it, though,' she goes on. 'In you. That's where I found the truth. That's where I found me. Where I found happiness.'
I dip my head slightly. I feel suddenly cold. 'How can you have so much faith in one person?' I ask.
'When you love them, you can have and do anything.'
I feel tears prickle at the back of my eyes. 'Trinity, I'm scared.'
She turns to me and squeezes my hand tightly. 'Don't be scared,' she says. 'I'm always here for you. No matter what.'
'But I'm scared…of you…of losing you, like last time.'
'But Neo, everybody loses the people they love at some time or another.'
A tear trickles down my cheek. 'I remember so much. I don't want to lose you. And I don't want you to have faith in me. Because I am scared of letting myself down.' I swallow, wiping my tear away. 'I'm scared of letting you down.'
'If I fell from this cliff at this moment, I would know that you would be there to save me.'
'Please don't test that.'
'I won't. But if I did…'
'Don't talk about it, please.'
'I didn't come here to talk about misery, Neo. I came here to show you the beauty that is around us…and the beauty I have found in you. The beauty you have shown me, all those times we've been together. The beauty I feel when I look at you, when you touch me, when I think about how much I love you.'
She is so flowery and poetic. She's either feeling sentimental tonight, or has changed since I last knew her. Both seemed strong possibilities. Whatever it is, I don't care. I just want to hold her. And so I do.
She kisses me soon.
Later, she says, 'Neo, if I fell…'
'I'd catch you.' I don't need to hope anymore, or believe, or doubt. I know.
When we return to the Neb, we are holding hands. I retreat to my room, where she says goodnight. I tell her I need sleep, and time to think. She accepts it, and closes the door behind her.
I lie, face-up, on my bed, staring at the ceiling.
Now I feel I am ready. Something happened to me, something emotionally, something that made me realise that I am prepared to take on my role, my duty, as the One once again. I am ready to accept whatever the future has in store for me – again.