Disclaimer: The
characters of Hannibal Lecter, Clarice Starling and Ardelia Mapp do not
belong to me,
but to Thomas Harris.
I'll turn them back when I've finished. No copyright infringement
intended, no profit made.
Chapter two: December 1991.
Clarice dropped on the sofa and took a deep breath. The baby was finally sleeping ! At last ... Not that the little girl was a difficult child, but when she was hungry, nothing could stop her ! Just like her father ... Clarice sighed. She had desperately tried to forget who her daughter' s father was, but it had not worked. Each time she looked at the little face and saw the little blue piercing eyes, she could not prevent the image of Hannibal from coming back to the surface of her mind.
Where was he now ? Sometimes at night, when everything was silent around, she felt again the passion overwhelming her body. She just had to close her eyes and she could feel his body rubbing on hers. She missed him. This was a strange feeling for Clarice. She had never missed anyone before ... except her father. Would her daughter miss her father too ?
When she had felt the first nausea about two months after her last encounter with Dr. Hannibal Lecter, Clarice had panicked. The version of that night at Krendler' s lake house that she had served to the FBI was 'slightly' diverging from reality. But she had felt safe: Paul Krendler could not talk anymore and the only other witness was Lecter himself. He was not really likely to go and talk to the FBI.
But her pregnancy was seriously endangering her credibility.
Strangely enough, she never even thought of not having the baby. But the fragility of her current position in the FBI required she avoided any kind of suspicion. So she had started looking for a credible father for her baby. She had spent nights in disco until she finally found someone having reasonable common physical characteristics with Hannibal Lecter, and being an acceptable partner.
She had made a few unsuccessful attempts before she had finally found the one. Ted was a forty years old architect, about six feet tall, with beautiful brown hair and pale blue eyes. He was respectable enough for her to present him to her friends and colleagues. He was just recovering from a difficult divorce and had no will to engage himself into a serious relationship with a woman. Which suited her perfectly. They had been together for a couple of months when she told him about the child. It was not much, but her belly had started to swell up and she knew she could not hide her situation much longer.
She told him she had no intention to ask him anything and that he had no obligation towards the child. He did not seem willing to take any responsibility either, so it went smooth. They parted a few weeks later, without crisis. They still had dinner together from time to time. He had never demonstrated any desire to assume his role of father. And she was grateful for that.
Her sentimental life had been non-existent since. But she didn't mind. In her search for a potential father she had had relationships with other men, but had never felt again the desire and passion she had experimented that night in Chesapeake.
Her strategy had worked perfectly, though. Well ... almost. The only person she could not fool was Ardelia Mapp, her best - and only - friend. One evening, two or three weeks after Clarice had made public her pregnancy, Ardelia and she had dinner together in their favorite Chinese. At the end of the meal, Ardelia had pointed her black eyes on Clarice and simply asked: "Does he know ?".
Clarice had pretended she didn't understand what her friend was talking about, but Ardelia was not stupid.
" - Don't cheat on me, Clarice. Does Lecter know about the child ?" Clarice had taken her time to answer, but Ardelia had patience.
" - No.
- Are you gonna tell him ?
- No."
Ardelia took a sip of wine. She cleared her throat and finally asked the question that had been haunting her for days.
" - Clarice, I promise I will never talk about it any more, but ... Did he rape you ?" Clarice stared at her friend, with an air of defiance.
" - No." she said. "He did not force me. He made love to me.
- Clarice ... I know this is none of my business and you know I was never fond of the man, but ... Don't you think he has the right to know ? After all, it's his child too ...
- And what do you suggest, Ardelia ? That I run half the world to find him, arrest him, put him back to jail, and then announce him he's soon gonna be a father ?
- Of course not. I was just ... Clarice, I want you to know that I'll be there. Whatever you need, you can count on me.
- Thank you, Ardelia."
Ardelia had kept her promise. She had never mentioned again the name of Hannibal Lecter. And she had been there for Clarice, and for her daughter.
Clarice felt all the more guilty for having lied to her friend. She did not have to run half the world. She actually knew how to contact Hannibal.
The first letter had arrived about three months after the Chesapeake night. She hadn't even tried to trace it or to have it searched for fingerprints. She knew it was useless. And its content was far too personal to show it to her FBI colleagues. She knew it by heart.
" Dear Clarice,
I had sworn to myself I would never contact you again, but I failed to keep my promise. There are so many things I needed to tell you ...
The night we spent together has been with me every minute since. Human beings are strange little animals, aren't they ? How can such a brief encounter mark a man in his heart and in his flesh for the rest of his life, that I will never understand. I miss you, Clarice. I never thought I could say such a thing to anybody, before I met you.
You do not have to worry, Clarice. I know we cannot be together again. And I have no intention to call on you, or to embarrass you in any way.
I wish you a wonderful life. I bless the man who one day will succeed where I have failed. The man who will make you realize how beautiful a person you are. If only you could love yourself as much as I love you, Clarice ...
Though you may not be convinced of it right now, I know you are strong enough to build yourself the life you deserve. But should you ever need anything - anything, Clarice - I will always be there for you. If you need me, any time, any place, just insert a message in the ad section of the Washington Post. From 'Lambs Keeper' to 'Land Runner'. I'll understand.
Love,
Hannibal. "
She had cried the first time she had read the letter. But these were not tears of sadness. The letter meant Hannibal had not abused her. He had been sincere with her. And that simple fact gave her the strength and the courage to go on. She would not reply to him. She would reconstruct her life. She knew she could make it.
There had been other letters after. Three others. Very heart lighted. He was keeping her informed of how his life was going. He gave her descriptions of the places he was in. Never mentioning names of course, but he said he was in Africa. She would never know if it was true or not, but she did not care. He was still thinking of her, and that brought her warmth.
But she never called the Washington Post. Her life was going fine. With its ups and downs of course, but all in one fine. And now that she had her little angel to protect, she had a goal. Obviously, there were periods more difficult than others. Now that Christmas was approaching, she often found herself slightly melancholic in the evening. But she would manage.
She named her daughter Mischa, by Hannibal' s sister. Officially, she was Mikaella really. But she never called her otherwise than Mischa. Though he would never know it, she felt it was her own way to thank him for having revealed her.
Clarice had a look at the clock. The baby would wake up in less than two hours now. She'd better go and have a rest.
To be continued. Thanks for reading. Reviews welcome ...
Absolut.
Chapter two: December 1991.
Clarice dropped on the sofa and took a deep breath. The baby was finally sleeping ! At last ... Not that the little girl was a difficult child, but when she was hungry, nothing could stop her ! Just like her father ... Clarice sighed. She had desperately tried to forget who her daughter' s father was, but it had not worked. Each time she looked at the little face and saw the little blue piercing eyes, she could not prevent the image of Hannibal from coming back to the surface of her mind.
Where was he now ? Sometimes at night, when everything was silent around, she felt again the passion overwhelming her body. She just had to close her eyes and she could feel his body rubbing on hers. She missed him. This was a strange feeling for Clarice. She had never missed anyone before ... except her father. Would her daughter miss her father too ?
When she had felt the first nausea about two months after her last encounter with Dr. Hannibal Lecter, Clarice had panicked. The version of that night at Krendler' s lake house that she had served to the FBI was 'slightly' diverging from reality. But she had felt safe: Paul Krendler could not talk anymore and the only other witness was Lecter himself. He was not really likely to go and talk to the FBI.
But her pregnancy was seriously endangering her credibility.
Strangely enough, she never even thought of not having the baby. But the fragility of her current position in the FBI required she avoided any kind of suspicion. So she had started looking for a credible father for her baby. She had spent nights in disco until she finally found someone having reasonable common physical characteristics with Hannibal Lecter, and being an acceptable partner.
She had made a few unsuccessful attempts before she had finally found the one. Ted was a forty years old architect, about six feet tall, with beautiful brown hair and pale blue eyes. He was respectable enough for her to present him to her friends and colleagues. He was just recovering from a difficult divorce and had no will to engage himself into a serious relationship with a woman. Which suited her perfectly. They had been together for a couple of months when she told him about the child. It was not much, but her belly had started to swell up and she knew she could not hide her situation much longer.
She told him she had no intention to ask him anything and that he had no obligation towards the child. He did not seem willing to take any responsibility either, so it went smooth. They parted a few weeks later, without crisis. They still had dinner together from time to time. He had never demonstrated any desire to assume his role of father. And she was grateful for that.
Her sentimental life had been non-existent since. But she didn't mind. In her search for a potential father she had had relationships with other men, but had never felt again the desire and passion she had experimented that night in Chesapeake.
Her strategy had worked perfectly, though. Well ... almost. The only person she could not fool was Ardelia Mapp, her best - and only - friend. One evening, two or three weeks after Clarice had made public her pregnancy, Ardelia and she had dinner together in their favorite Chinese. At the end of the meal, Ardelia had pointed her black eyes on Clarice and simply asked: "Does he know ?".
Clarice had pretended she didn't understand what her friend was talking about, but Ardelia was not stupid.
" - Don't cheat on me, Clarice. Does Lecter know about the child ?" Clarice had taken her time to answer, but Ardelia had patience.
" - No.
- Are you gonna tell him ?
- No."
Ardelia took a sip of wine. She cleared her throat and finally asked the question that had been haunting her for days.
" - Clarice, I promise I will never talk about it any more, but ... Did he rape you ?" Clarice stared at her friend, with an air of defiance.
" - No." she said. "He did not force me. He made love to me.
- Clarice ... I know this is none of my business and you know I was never fond of the man, but ... Don't you think he has the right to know ? After all, it's his child too ...
- And what do you suggest, Ardelia ? That I run half the world to find him, arrest him, put him back to jail, and then announce him he's soon gonna be a father ?
- Of course not. I was just ... Clarice, I want you to know that I'll be there. Whatever you need, you can count on me.
- Thank you, Ardelia."
Ardelia had kept her promise. She had never mentioned again the name of Hannibal Lecter. And she had been there for Clarice, and for her daughter.
Clarice felt all the more guilty for having lied to her friend. She did not have to run half the world. She actually knew how to contact Hannibal.
The first letter had arrived about three months after the Chesapeake night. She hadn't even tried to trace it or to have it searched for fingerprints. She knew it was useless. And its content was far too personal to show it to her FBI colleagues. She knew it by heart.
" Dear Clarice,
I had sworn to myself I would never contact you again, but I failed to keep my promise. There are so many things I needed to tell you ...
The night we spent together has been with me every minute since. Human beings are strange little animals, aren't they ? How can such a brief encounter mark a man in his heart and in his flesh for the rest of his life, that I will never understand. I miss you, Clarice. I never thought I could say such a thing to anybody, before I met you.
You do not have to worry, Clarice. I know we cannot be together again. And I have no intention to call on you, or to embarrass you in any way.
I wish you a wonderful life. I bless the man who one day will succeed where I have failed. The man who will make you realize how beautiful a person you are. If only you could love yourself as much as I love you, Clarice ...
Though you may not be convinced of it right now, I know you are strong enough to build yourself the life you deserve. But should you ever need anything - anything, Clarice - I will always be there for you. If you need me, any time, any place, just insert a message in the ad section of the Washington Post. From 'Lambs Keeper' to 'Land Runner'. I'll understand.
Love,
Hannibal. "
She had cried the first time she had read the letter. But these were not tears of sadness. The letter meant Hannibal had not abused her. He had been sincere with her. And that simple fact gave her the strength and the courage to go on. She would not reply to him. She would reconstruct her life. She knew she could make it.
There had been other letters after. Three others. Very heart lighted. He was keeping her informed of how his life was going. He gave her descriptions of the places he was in. Never mentioning names of course, but he said he was in Africa. She would never know if it was true or not, but she did not care. He was still thinking of her, and that brought her warmth.
But she never called the Washington Post. Her life was going fine. With its ups and downs of course, but all in one fine. And now that she had her little angel to protect, she had a goal. Obviously, there were periods more difficult than others. Now that Christmas was approaching, she often found herself slightly melancholic in the evening. But she would manage.
She named her daughter Mischa, by Hannibal' s sister. Officially, she was Mikaella really. But she never called her otherwise than Mischa. Though he would never know it, she felt it was her own way to thank him for having revealed her.
Clarice had a look at the clock. The baby would wake up in less than two hours now. She'd better go and have a rest.
To be continued. Thanks for reading. Reviews welcome ...
Absolut.