ISSUE 17

The Breaking Point

            The less Johnny slept, the less frequent he found himself in the room with the wall. It took a while, but he finally started getting used to it. He only found himself in the room, once maybe twice a month.

            He continued his work as usual, despite the bizarre requests of his boss that proceeded to get stranger and stranger.

            "Blue penguins?" Johnny stared at Mr. Nevers as if he had sprouted three heads.

            "Of course!! Recent survey shows people adore small, strange colored animals!" Mr. Nevers exclaimed enthusiastically, flipping up a picture of one of Johnny's preliminary drawings with the afore mentioned animal on it. Johnny simply stared, dumbfounded.

            "I knew you would love it!" Nevers said. "Why don't you go down to the café on the ground floor to take sometime and think about how you are going to incorporate this fabulous idea! On me!"

            "Ok…" Johnny mumbled, too stunned by the stupidity of the man to say anything.

            Johnny did go down to the café, but he didn't buy anything. He just sat there, staring at his concept drawings. He was trying his hardest to figure out how to work with the damned little animals but honestly, how were they supposed to fit into a book about two witches hideously maiming their ex? He was getting extremely frustrated and was getting ready to get up and go give that Nevers a piece of his mind.

            Before he could push his chair back from the table though, he was hit with a splitting headache. It was so bad Johnny's eyes started tearing as the radio fuzz started in the back of his head. Cringing, he rested his head on the table for a moment. As the radio fuzz started to fade away, Johnny lifted his head a bit and opened his eyes. The first thing his eyes focused on was a white, Styrofoam, Pillsbury Doughboy, smiling at him from its display trying to sell month old pastries. Johnny stared at it for a few seconds.

            On some sudden impulse, Johnny jumped up, grabbed the doughboy, and sprinted out of the café, stuffing the pilfered Styrofoam in his backpack as he rushed to his car. Not a single person did anything to stop him.

~          ~          ~

            The clock would have been just striking midnight had the batteries not worn out of his. Johnny rubbed his eyes, sitting in his dark drawing room. His finished project sat before him; the repainted doughboy, FUCK in large black letters on its shirt. Johnny stared at it in dismay and sighed.

            "There has got to be something not right with sitting up and painting Psychotic looking Doughboys all night."

            He picked up the doughboy and tossed it over his shoulder then went upstairs to see if he had anything that resembled food. Finding nothing in his eternally bare kitchen, he sighed and trudged back downstairs to see what he could do with the infernal penguins. When he got back to the room, the painted Doughboy was sitting on his desk again. Johnny stood, quite puzzled, and after a moment or two he shrugged, threw the Styrofoam creature back on the floor, then pulled out a piece of paper to start working again.

            He worked for awhile sitting in the poorly lit room, drawing, erasing, thinking, erasing some more. Eventually, he erased a hole in the paper. He growled, aggravated, and put the pencil down, reaching to get a new piece of paper from the top of file cabinet that was next to the desk. He grabbed instead the Styrofoam doughboy.

            Johnny blinked and rubbed his eyes. He shook his head and threw the doughboy over his shoulder once again. He was about to go back to work when his head started throbbing and the radio fuzz came in again, except duller than usual.

            Aren't you tired?... He heard in his head. His thoughts speaking to him. It was similar to before, his voice seeming to take life of its own. But this time, it was a different shade of his voice; a darker, more evil, sadistically seductive voice whispering to him.

            "No," He answered himself, attempting to blink away the headache so he could work, but it grew worse, not allowing it.

            Ah, but wouldn't it be nice to lie down?...

            Johnny stood up.

"I told you I'm not tired!" He headed out to see about some aspirin when something caught his eye. The doughboy was on top of the cabinet again. Freaked out, he started towards it, his vision getting a tad blurry.

            I think you are…

            Johnny passed out.

            He woke up in the room with the 'wall' once again.

~          ~          ~

Time held no meaning in Johnny's little world. He was in his drawing room for days on end at times and had no idea if it was light or dark. And his vehement distaste for sleep helped to aid in this lapse of time. He no longer ran on the same time table of the rest of the world.

            One day, Johnny found himself in the NERVE office once again.

            "Well, helloooo there Johnny! It's been awhile since you came in. I was afraid you had died or something," Mr. Nevers welcomed him with his ever peppy expression.

            "Um, no…" Johnny said. "I've been having problems…"

            "Really? Do tell."

            "Well, it's crazy I guess. I've been hearing…voices in my head. And the freaky thing is, I can't tell if they're my own thoughts or not. They seem to correspond with these… things that move around my house. I've started giving the names…I think my house is haunted…"

            "Nonesense! No such thing as ghosts!"

            "Yes, well…" Johnny's eyes darkened as he stared at something only he could see, pulling himself in to some sort of trance. "Whatever they are, they're getting stronger. The only way I can beat them is by not sleeping. If I do sleep, I wake up confused, frightened, disoriented…and it feels like part of me is missing, like they take something away from me when I'm not aware. I think I'm losing my memory, maybe even my sanity…"

            Mr. Nevers' ever present grin stayed glued on his face.

            "That sounds excellent my boy. Now, how about that cover?"

            "Huh?" Johnny snapped out of his trance. "Um, yeah, I'm having problems. Nailbunny keeps trying to remind me of the wall and Psycho Doughboy won't stop trying to depress me…"

            "Well then," Whether Mr. Nevers thought he was insane or was simply ignoring his babbles was impossible to tell. "I think I have just the thing to help you out."

            Johnny came home with another doughboy that night.

~          ~          ~

            There was a knock at the door, Johnny almost didn't hear it. He was downstairs, staring at blank sheet of paper as what seemed to be usual for him lately. His previous attempt at drawing ended up with an anemic, pissed off stick figure. He was getting quite peeved at this rut he was stuck in. He wasn't even able to paint for himself anymore. He was losing all inspiration.

            You know Nny, you're running low on blood for the wall… Nailbunny said, attached to the wall above the drawing desk.

            Nny simply growled at the annoying corpse.

            Johnny, all this work and no play really isn't good. Go out, have some fun!... The newer doughboy, dubbed Mr. Eff, trumpeted from his corner.

            "No f…"

            *KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

            Johnny looked up at the ceiling, wondering where the hell the rapping-tap-tapping was coming from. As it sounded again, he realized it was someone at the chamber door, well the front door anyway. Curious, he got up and went to answer it, figuring it was just someone from NERVE coming to find out why he hadn't called in for about…fuck he didn't remember how long it had been since he had outside human contact of any kind.

            He was quite surprised at what he found on his doorstep.

            "JEZ!" Johnny gawked at her, having not seen the girl in the longest time, precisely how long, he had no clue.

            "Hey Nny! I was beginning to wonder if you weren't home!" Jez replied, her innocent grin beaming. Johnny simply stared at her, astonished.

            "Um, are ya gonna invite me in?" She asked a little unnerved by his stare.

            "Oh, yeah, come on in," Johnny stepped back from the doorway and let her in. "Excuse the mess, I wasn't expecting anyone." Mess was an understatement. The room was dingy and dark, the only light in the room was that streaming through the boarded up windows. The walls were cracked and filthy, a dilapidated couch sat to the side with a broken down TV in front of it.

            "Um, I hope I'm not bothering you. I was just looking through some old pictures and I was wondering what you were up to," Jez chirped, looking around the dank room.

            "Oh, nothing…I was just…um…working in my drawing room…"

            "I got ya a birthday present!" She said, pulled a bag out from behind her back.

            "Birthday?"

            "Yeah, today's your birthday? Don't you pay attention to the date?"

            "Well, I've been kind of out it lately…"

            "Open your present! I found it in this really cute shop next to that NERVE place you work. It just screamed your name…" She babbled as he pulled a Bub's Burger boy statue out of the bag. Johnny smiled. He was really glad she had come to see him. Maybe he would be able to regain himself by having communication with something other than an inanimate object.

            "I love it! Thanks!"

            "Oh, no problem! So, how's it been going? I haven't heard from you in the longest time," Jez tried to make small talk, the ominous feeling of the house making her kind of uneasy.

            "Oh…it's been going…ok I guess…" Johnny said, ignoring Nailbunny whispering about the wall in his head. "How's it going with you? How's Kit?"

            "Wow, you really have been out of it, haven't you?"

            "What do you mean?"

            "I haven't talked to her in ages…"

            "What happened? You two were best friends," Johnny asked.

            "Oh, I dunno. I just kind of found a new crowd. I mean, we didn't have a fight or anything but…I just needed to put her on the backburner for awhile I guess…"

            "Oh."

            There was an awkward silence.

            Hmm…Wouldn't she do nicely?... Johnny shook his head, trying to ignore the voice.

            "So, are you hungry? I could see if there's anything to eat in my under stocked kitchen," Johnny offered.

            "That'd be great!" Jez said, smiling again. Johnny walked into his kitchen and started looking through cabinets, not that there was anymore food than there usually was.

            "Hey, Nny? What's downstairs?"

            "Oh, um. My drawing room and some stuff left over from the last person who lived here. The guy had a fetish with knives for some reason…"

            "Can I look?"

            "Uh…I guess so…" Nny agreed, despite the nagging feeling in the back of his head. He walked out of the kitchen and followed her down the stairs.

            Isn't this perfect?...

            "Wow, you weren't kidding," She said, gazing upon the multiple tables of sharp tools.

            "Yeah, I was thinking about cleaning them up and selling them or something but I just can't find the time," Johnny said, watching a Jez stepped up to one of the tables and poked the sickle on it. "Over there's my drawing room…" Johnny pointed but Jez wasn't paying attention.

            "Hey, what's in here?" Jez made towards a cracked door. It led to the wall room.

            "Oh, I'd prefer if you didn't go in there," Johnny said, getting slightly worried.

            "Why, ya got skeletons in your closet?" She snickered at her joke and started towards the door again. Johnny crossed the room as quickly as possible, bumping a table and knocking off an old can on the floor.

            "Please…" He protested as she opened the door and was about to walk in. "JEZ!" He grabbed by the shoulder and pulled her back, a tad rougher than he had intended.

            "Hey!" She exclaimed and she stumbled backward and slipped on the can that Johnny had knocked over, bumping a nearby table in the process. "That was…" She started, but halfway through her sentence, the table fell over, dumping multiple various weapons on her.

            Johnny stood shocked for a moment, the sound of his pumping heart filling his ears. He rushed to her fallen figure and started shaking her shoulder.

            "Jez? Can you hear me? Jez?! Jessie?! JESSICA?!" He called as crimson blood spread over the floor, her face permanently frozen in horror, eyes wide open staring at the ceiling. He stopped shaking her, and gulped, eyes wide open and unblinking.

            Johnny was too stunned to do anything. His breath had become shallow, he couldn't think, couldn't move. One of the only people who had ever been anything to him, who helped him through high school was dead. And it was his fault. His chance at redemption was gone.

But he never shed a tear, he never broke down. He just sat next to her, blood staining his pants, an empty shell. His crumbling mind finally crashed into a thousand pieces, his last line to reality severed.

~          ~          ~

            About damn time… Psycho Doughboy said. The three voices sat in a corner watching.

            I'm just sad I didn't think of it… Eff commented.

            He's so hurt… Nailbunny said, some what saddened by the whole bit himself. Johnny eye's were unblinking, one could see his soul falling into shadow in them.

            Please don't tell me you're sympathizing for him… D-Boy scrutinized. They shouldn't have sent a newbie on this job…

            Pansy ass…no wonder you couldn't handle the job on your own…

            Never trust a bunny to do a doughboy's job… The Doughboy's laughed cynically.

            Nailbunny stopped to look at his host. He could feel Johnny's mind shatter like stained glass hit by a baseball. It was like the sound of an old tree breaking into in the forest somewhere, totally alone. Nailbunny could not imagine anything more desolate than the poor boy in front of him.

            Look, what's he doing?... Eff asked.

            Johnny pulled the weapons out of the dead girl's corpse, picked her up and carried her into the next room; the room with the wall. Through the crack in the door, Nailbunny could see him pull out a brush; his mind was a completely empty shell, just functioning, not feeling.

            Nailbunny refused to damage the poor child anymore from that point on.