Lord of the Cats

By Wydinel Sheergale

Beginning

The Jellicle cats assembled in the junkyard gazed around curiously. It was unusual for them to all gather together at once, but here they were, and wondering why. Munkustrap stepped out from behind a car and a hush fell over the quietly conversing cats as all eyes turned to the silver tabby.

Munkustrap shuffled his feet, looking uncharacteristically nervous. He cleared his throat.

"Well, you're all probably wondering why I've called you here," he began, and the Jellicles nodded. "You all know the Jellicle ball is approaching and we, that is myself and Old Deuteronomy and some others, came up with the idea to do something special for Gus."

"Wot, loik a play?" asked Rumpleteazer.

Munku smiled. "Exactly! But something just a bit bigger and more extravagant than we usually do." He held up a very large stack of papers the cats only now noticed he had been holding "The Lord of the Rings," he declared proudly.

I long moment of silence followed, and then the cats all erupted into excited babble.

"I want to be Frodo!"

"I want to be Galadriel!"

"Will we get to dance?"

"Will we get to sing?"

"Who's Tugger going to be?"

"I want to be in lots of scenes with Tugger!"

Munkustrap groaned. The Rum Tum Tugger strode to the front and held up his hands for silence. The kittens squealed for a moment, then went quiet.

"All the parts have already been cast," said the silver tabby. "Everyone has a part, so you don't need to fight over them. Here, Misto, would you pass these out?"

The small black tom made his way to the front of the crowd and took the stack of papers from Munkustrap. He glanced at the top paper briefly, then looked up at the older tom, a worried expression on his face.

"Munku, are you sure this cast is right? I mean-"

Munkustrap looked at the cast list on top and smiled down at the magician. "I'm sure it will be fine. Just hand out the scripts."

Mistoffelees sighed, but proceeded to distribute the scripts to the assembly of eager cats.

Then the storm broke.

***

"I am not going to play someone named Fatty!"

"It's just a nickname. It's short for Fredegar."

"My name is Cassandra, not Fredegar!"

"Well, maybe you can get them to call you Cassie instead."

The pretty Siamese pouted for a moment, then, "What part did you get, Exotica?"

The other queen smiled evilly. "I get to hold the camera."

"We're filming it?!"

***

Demeter sidled up to Munkustrap, purring slightly. "Nice job on the casting."

Munku smiled. "Thank you, but actually, I didn't cast it."

"Oh?" She looked slightly disappointed. "Who did?"

"You know," he replied thoughtfully, "I actually don't know."

"Well, they did a good job. There's only one problem."

"What's that?"

The queen pointed to her copy of the script. "How in Hevyside are we going to get Macavity to play his part?"

"Er… Well…"

His thoughts were interrupted as Jemima approached nervously. "Er, Munkustrap?"

The young queen was looking up at him nervously. "Yes, Jemima?"

"I was wondering if, well, if I might be able to switch parts with Tugger."

The silver tabby looked at her strangely. "Why ever would you want to trade parts with Tugger?"

She blushed furiously, murmured "Never mind," and slunk off.

***

"Oi, Teazah, looks loik we got ourselves the perfect coupla parts 'ere."

Rumpleteazer came up behind her partner. "Wot'id we get?" She peered over his shoulder, then burst out laughing. "This is gonna be fun!"

***

Munkustrap was now having a conversation with a small group of his performers. "Now," he said to Alonzo, Electra, Skimbleshanks, Pouncival, and Asparagus, "Your parts don't come up until later, so I'll expect you all to help out with our sets and props, and so on, as well as giving Exotica a hand with the filming. I'm sure Misto will take care of the special effects."

Skimble raised a paw. "Ah couldn't help but noticin' that yev given quite a few lads' parts t'the lasses."

Munkustrap nodded. He had given up trying to explain that he neither had cast the parts nor knew who had. "We've had to make a few changes so we have enough actors, and so all our queens have parts. They don't seem too upset about it… For the most part," he added silently to himself.

***

Rum Tum Tugger forced himself to read over the cast list again. It was still the same. Some of the choices were all right but… He shook his head. Whoever made it must have been on some serious catnip. What had they been thinking when they cast him, the one and only Rum Tum Tugger, as a short, chubby, Hobbit gardener? He skipped to near the end of the script and grinned. Oh well. At least he got to mate with Bomba at the end. He let his thoughts delve deeply into what that could involve.

The curious cat's imaginings were cut short by the presence on a young queen at his side.

"Hullo, Jemima." He fluffed his mane. "What can I do for you?"

"Er," she fidgeted with her tail, "You don't really think you're part is quite right for you, do you?" she asked nervously.

"Well, not really, but I suppose it's all right. The Tugger can do anything." He grinned, but then he noticed her nervous fidgeting. "Why?"

"Well, I was wondering if, er, maybe we could, well, switch parts." She stared at the ground.

That surprised him. "And you want to switch parts with me, why?"

A blush began spreading across the young queens face. "I just-" she sighed. "It's just that, if I had your part, I'd get to be with someone…"
Tugger looked at her, baffled, for a few moments, then a very disturbing thought entered his mind. "You want my part so you can mate with Bomba?!"

Jemima's head snapped up, her face bright red. "No! Of course not!"

"Then what-" He sighed. He wasn't getting anywhere like this. "Come on, you can tell the Tugger."

Jemima murmured something, her eyes firmly fixed on the ground, and blushing even more furiously than before, if that was possible.

"Didn't quite catch that," said Tugger, leaning in closer.

"So I can be alone with Misto," she whispered again.

Understanding finally dawned on the Rum Tum Tugger. "Oh, I see. I still don't think-"

"What's all this?" It was Bombalurina herself, sauntering over and looking curiously from Jemima to Tugger.

"Oh, nothing really. Jemima was just wondering if she could switch parts with me." Tugger moved to put an arm around the scarlet queen's shoulders, but she neatly sidestepped out of the way. "Don't worry," he added. "I was just about to explain why that wouldn't work."

Jemima looked downcast. Bomba ignored the tom and turned to her. "Why did you want to switch places with Tugger, Jemi?"
Jemima sighed. She had told Tugger, she might as well tell Bomba as well. "I wanted a part where I could be with Misto."

"Oh, that's so sweet!" cried Bomba. Then she rounded on Tugger her eyes flashing. "And you won't trade with her?" She cuffed him over the head. "I thought Mistoffelees was your friend! You're just a stuck up, self centered-"

The Rum Tum Tugger was now very confused. He did know, however, that he did not want to risk any more of Bombalurina's wrath. "Ok, ok, she can have the part! But I still don't see how it'll work. And what about us?"

Bomba glared icily at him. "I'll make it work." She then turned to Jemima, a warm smile on her face. "Come on, you and I have some planning to do." With that, she took the younger queen by the paw and led her off across the junkyard, leaving behind a very confused Tugger. The big, dark cat shook his head. He would never understand queens.

***

"Hey, psst, Tugger, over here."

"Misto?" Rum Tum Tugger turned in the direction of the voice. The little tuxedo cat sat in his pipe looking, the Tugger thought, as if he was trying not to be sick. He walked over and crouched down by the entrance of the pipe. "Misto? Are you all right?"

Mistoffelees shook his head. "They cast me in the lead part, Tugger! What am I going to do? I thought I would end up playing Gandalf, you know, because of my magic, but Old Deuteronomy is playing Gandalf, and I'm not going to argue with Munkustrap about this. I don't really mind dancing in front of people so much, or doing magic, but-"

"Whoa, whoa, calm down," Tugger told his friend. This must really be upsetting him. Mistoffelees only ever talked that much when he was very nervous about something. "It'll be all right. You've performed in front of people before."

"But not like this!"

Tugger sighed. That was true. The songs and dances of the Jellicle balls were spontaneous, a deep and mystical expression of a cat's innermost emotions brought on by the light of the Jellicle moon. Tugger could see how a rehearsed performance on film would frighten the shy tom badly. "Look, Misto, I'm sure you'll do fine. Whoever gave you the part obviously thought you could do it."

"Or else they were just trying to embarrass me."

"Who would do that?"

Mistoffelees shrugged moodily. "You're right, I suppose."

Tugger nodded, then remembered something. "Say, Misto, what would you think if someone else had my part, say Jemima, for example."

Misto's nose and cheeks went pink and he smiled weakly. "I can't say I wouldn't like it, but I'd probably be about ten times as embarrassed as I am now."

Uh oh…

"I'm glad it's you playing Sam," the little black cat went on, "even though I know it's really not your type of part. If it was anyone else, I'd probably trip over my own tail. At least we're together in this."

Tugger grinned and shoved him affectionately. "Together all the way. I promise." Not that Misto would ever trip over his own tail, but he was obviously worried about this performance. Tugger would just have to tell Bomba and Jemima this wouldn't work. He gave the young tom a last encouraging grin and went off to find Bomba.

***

"Oh, Tugger, there you are."

Ah, just who he was looking for. Bomba. "Bomba, about this part switching thing, it won't"

"I just wanted to tell you how sweet it is for you to do this for Jemi and Misto. She's so excited. I wouldn't have thought it possible, but it seems you might actually have a heart after all," she purred. She hadn't heard a word he said!

The red queen took a step closer to him and brushed against him. "I just might reconsider that offer you made me the other evening." She smiled enticingly at him and turned and left. Tugger watched her retreating form. He had a big problem on his paws. A really big problem.

Munkustrap surveyed the junkyard. Everyone seemed to have there scripts and be getting used to their parts. "All right," he called, "let's get started!"

~~~

Yay, I started! Ok, I couldn't get all the cats into this little opening scene, but they all have their parts to play. Also, any character bashing that may occur is completely unintentional. I love all of these characters. That's why I'm writing fanfiction about them. Well, please read and review. :)

~UDW