Disclaimer: Love ya, J.K.R. Not stealing, just borrowing.
Chapter Three
Four days later, Sirius had a pretty good idea of Roxanne's routine life. She woke at quarter of eight, took a shower, changed into a pair of drawstrings pants and tee shirt and went out to jog. She'd come back an hour later, change again into more presentable clothing, grabs her bookbag and head off to her first class. Two hours later she'd return with lunch for the both of them. Sirius gathered she was a health nut from her lunches of sushi or noodles or salads with ginger dressing. Luckily she gave Sirius meat or breads or some other calorie loaded food, most likely in hopes of fattening him back up. She'd hang around the apartment a few hours then head to class number two, probably followed by her job. Sirius guessed that's where she went because she usualy returned home tired looking, mummbling about paying bills on such a meager salary.
She was always sure to play with or talk to the dog a little everyday. So far she confided in him her family life, frustrations with her job as a waitress at a nearby bar and on the cruel antics of two men named Robert and Rick, who also happened to be the blokes he'd seen assault her in Folden Park. With all her talking, Roxanne's personality revealed itself. So far she seemed to be a pretty independent, strong-willed woman with alot of frustrations. She had a strange, subtle sense of humor that Sirius took to, gladly, since it reminded him of Remus in one of his more mischevious moods. He was also thankful she didn't turn out to be one of those airy types. Roxanne seemed to be an intellegent girl and somewhat stubborn in her opinions. Not that Sirius minded. He was the same way.
Between Roxanne's job and classes and other daily activities, Sirius had plenty of time to himself. The very first time she left the house he raided the refridgerator and searched for a newspaper. Sure enough he was on the cover. The Ministry had even put the Muggle world on alert. They were making it very difficult for Sirius to do anything but pretend to be Roxanne's pet dog, whom she seemed to decide on calling 'Snuffles' to Sirius's great annoyance. He had gathered that it was early July and he was in a city called Forgrove, quite a hike from Hogwarts and London and, to his relief, Azkaban.
By now, Roxanne had been at work a while and Sirius was sitting on her couch as a human, fiddling with the remote control. Four days and he still couldn't figure out how the hell Roxanne used it to turn on the box she called a television. He'd hit every button on the damned thing and nothing happened. Scowling, Sirius threw the remote down on the coffee table. The television blinked to life, loud sound pouring from it. Sirius jumped in surprise, staring at it in confusion.
"Figures..." he snorted, picking the remote back up.
Unfortunately the only thing on was a music video featuring a rather starnge group of boys singing in rather high pitched, near female voices. Sirius scrunched up his nose at the sound.
"This is Muggle music...? Horrible..." he grumble, trying desperately to turn the television off.
The channel switched to a tennis match as his fingers pushed the wrong buttons. Next an anime cartoon popped on, followed by a historical documentary and finally an infomercial, offering the best deals on a revolutionary lint remover. Sirius managed to turn it off, and leaned back in the chair with a sigh of relief, feeling slightly disappointed that all his hard work in learning to use the machine brought no good to him. He decided a snack would cheer him up and made to go to the kitchen.
He froze the moment he stood up, hearing a key being turned in the lock of the apartment door. Sirius became a large black dog, watching the door. Whoever was out there was having trouble getting in. Maybe it wasn't Roxanne home early... maybe it was someone from the Ministry... maybe it was the police. No, how could the police know or even believe he was an Animagus? Still, envisioning a group of Ministry officers rushing into the room, wands all pointing at the escaped convict didn't seem too improbable.
The door swung open and in stumbled a dark-haired woman, dropping one of her text book and her keys as she slammed the door shut behind her. She stood there a moment in silence, staring at the floor. Sirius could see her face from his point of view and her grass green eyes held anger and that all too familiar look of frustration.
"DAMNIT!" she suddenly shouted, hurling her bookbag across the room. "Damnit, I wish had killed him when I had the chance!!!!"
Roxanne furiously sat on her couch and violently crushed a pillow to her chest. She sat there a good seven minutes in silence. Sirius decided now was a good time to act and hopped up on the couch beside her. Roxanne looked over at him and let the pillow fall to the floor, putting her arms around the big shaggy dog.
"After he attacks me in a park he has the nerve to go to the bar and demand I be fired..." she muttered, releasing the dog. "That idiot Rick got me fired..."
She put a hand to her head. "He told Mr. Ross he'd sue if he didn't let me go. Everyone knows Ross is a miserly old git. He'd have bodily thrown me out the door if it meant a quick buck! He even wants me to pay for the cooler that I threw! Well... threw isn't exactly the right word..."
Roxanne stood up and began to pace. Her mind worked furiously. She lost her job. With the basis she was fired on she'd never get another job. How would she pay her tuition? How would she eat or pay her bills? How would she feed Snuffles or get him shots at the vet? God, how would she pay her rent? Or for the damn cooler, no less??
She had had the switchblade in her hands. Rick had been defenseless. She could have killed him in ten seconds and chalked it up to self defense. He would have deserved it, too. Rick had tormented her from day one, tried to attack her, hurt her, frighten her, kill her... But did the police give a damn when she reported an assault in the park? No. Who would believe Roxanne Callisto? Anyone would recognized her name thought her delusional, especially with her reputation. And Rick? Of course they took his word that he had been defending her from a mugger and she left him in the park. Why wouldn't they believe a 'well bred' young man who had gotten a full athletic scholarship to Forgrove University?
"It's not fair..." she muttered through clenched teeth, words dripping with rage.
And she felt it. A little twitch in her chest that grew and spread until a rush of strange power coursed through her. She couldn't stop it. Rick's smug face kept popping into her mind, laughing at her as she left her job behind.
"Damnit!" she snapped, throwing her hand out in front of her.
To Sirius's surprise, a vase that had been sitting perfectly motionless on the coffee table hurled itself clear across the room, shattering against the first wall it hit. He backed away from the coffee table when it shakily rose half an inch from the floor. The dog looked at Roxanne, alarmed. 'Is she doing that...? Is she a witch?' A look of sheer horrow crossed Roxanne's face as she realized what was about to happen. She let her hand fall to her side and the table clunked back down on the rug, harmlessly.
"Oh, God... What the hell am I?" she whispered, leaning weakly against her wall.
'So she doesn't realize what she is...' Sirius thought.
Roxanne wearily forced herself to walk into her kitchen.
"Here, Snuffles..." she muttered, setting a bowl of water and a plate of leftover spaghetti and meatballs on the tiled kitchen floor.
Sirius cringed at the sound of his 'name' and went to eat his meal. He watched Roxanne moodily leave the kitchen and go into her bedroom as he chewed on a meatball.
He was pretty sure he had an idea of why she hadn't been popular in high school. In the Muggle world, having the powers she had exerted would seem unnatural and fearsome. While she obviously didn't understand her abilities, nor could she control them, Sirius doubted anyone aside from those two clowns Robert and Rick had ever seen her use them. Of course they probably spread rumors through the school, but college wasn't as petty as high school. Most people were adult enough to ignore rumors. So Roxanne's lack of 'popularity' wasn't due to her abilities.
The only reason Sirius could understand Roxanne was from growing up with Remus. In the wizarding world, being a werewolf is as frowned upon as using magic in the Muggle world. No one knew he was a werewolf, but Remus felt guilty, ashamed at times. He wouldn't let himself be open to people because he knew what he was. And it was no different in Roxanne's case. She knew what she was capable of and she was frightened of it. So she pushed people away to protect them. And herself.
Sirius slurped up the last piece of pasta as he wondered how many people in the world only thought they were Muggles. If she ever figured out what she was, Roxanne was in for a shock. Sirius decided that if he was ever declared innocent he would find her and explain it all to her. She deserved to know she wasn't such an outcast. It was too dangerous to transform and have a little chat at the present. Sirius trotted over to the blanket Roxanne laid out for him in the parlor and curled up. He drifted to sleep wondering when he would get to sleep in a real bed again.
Sirius heard Roxanne's bedroom door open and he glanced up from where he had been lounging beside the newspaper she'd left lying open on the couch. He held his gaze on the girl, surprised at her attire. Roxanne walked over to her wall mirror to put in her earrings, wearing a pair of fitted, low rise black dress pants and a stylish black and white striped shirt that cut off at a diagonal, allowing a tasteful portion of her middriff to show. She went over to the couch to pick up her handbag from where she left it.
"I have to head out, Snuffles," she said.
Sirius forced his eyes to stop traveling down the girl and looked up at her, guiltily. 'Not very nice considering she's giving you food and shelter even without a weekly paycheck.'
"I'll be back at four with your dinner," she promised, tossing him a smile as she opened the apartment door. "Bye bye. Be a good boy."
The door closed behind her and Sirius stood there staring at it. Once he heard the locks click and Roxanne's high-heeled footsteps fade down the hall, he transformed into a man.
"Where could she be going dressed like that...?" he wondered aloud.
He cringed a bit at the sound of his voice. It still sounded like he was recovering from a sore throat. His voice was scratchy from days upon days of silence. While he had the house to himself he would read articles from the paper aloud in hopes of regaining his original voice. He wasn't in the mood to reread the paper today, so Sirius went into the kitchen and helped himself to a snack. He opened the refridgerator door and stood there, looking over it's contents for a moment. It was strange how much you appreciate being able to pick your own meal after enduring twelve years of consuming what had no right to be labeled food. Sirius grinned as he settled on some leftover chicken cutlets, potatoes and a pudding snack pack. A perfect delicassy.
Roxanne's car pulled into the hotel's parking lot twenty minutes later. She nearly stumbled out of her car, still a bit unaccustomed to wearing shoes with such high heels. Silently cursing whatever notion made her opt for the black stilletos over her trusty-flat-slingbacks, she walked up to the hotel's entrance with as much dignity as she could muster. The damned shoes clacked against the polished marble floor as she headed over to the information desk. The man behind the counter politely motioned for her to wait, since he was currently on the phone resolving an issue with a client.
Roxanne took this moment to get a look at the hotel. It was a beautiful place, if not a little cold and unwelcoming. Every inch of floor was covered in shining marble, walls rising up to a decoratively carved border as they met the off-white ceilings. A number of elegant lamps hung down and Roxanne spotted no less than three chandeliers. Portraits of Victorians women in their laced bonnets and poufed dressed adorned the otherwise bare walls. 'Ah, a little uppity in here, isn't it?' Roxanne thought, frowning and feeling out of place.
"Sorry about that, miss," the concierge said, setting the phone on the reciever. "Can I help you?"
"I'm here with the Forgrove University honors Ceremony," Roxanne told him.
"Alright. Take the hall to your right straight down until you arrive at a door with a sign with Forgrove University written on it," he told her. "I believe the ceremony is about to commence, miss."
"Thank you," she said, hurrying to her right.
Every year her University held a ceremony to honor their most dedicated and accomplished students and faculty and most supportive alumni which basically came down to whoever made the largest donations. She found the door to the hall and quickly entered and secured herself a seat at a vacant round table near the center of the room. roxanne wasn't being honored with any awards for excellence tonight, but some of her professors and fellow classmates were, so she decided to attend.
As expected, the ceremony that followed was extremely exhaustive and boring. Long speeches were made by donators about their 'good old Forgrove days' and what an honor it was to be a part of the 'Forgrove family'. Roxanne only became interested when the school dean began to announce honors and accomplishments of the current students and faculty of the University.
The applause settled down after Abagail Courtly accepted her award for excellence in the field of video journalism and the dean stepped up to the microphone again.
"Abagail's first documentary will be showing at Crently Theatre on 5th and Gourd Street, so do try to attend. I'm sure it will be more than worth your time," the dean said. "Now here at Forgrove, we honor academic accomplishments and we have an equal respect for our dedicated athletes. These young men and women have bright futures ahead of them. Tonight will not be the first night they will be honored for their acheivements, Im certain.
"First, I'd like to bring attention to our football team's Captain, Richard Zett."
Roxanne nearly dropped her wine glass. Richard Zett? Rick Zett was going to be honored as a distinguished member of Forgrove University? Oh, hell. Even if Abagail's documentary was on the preservation and importance of the red gilled Carribean bass to a balanced eco-system, her efforts were worth a hundred fold of Rick's! Roxanne clapped politely as Rick's accomplishments were rattled off in the dean's flowery, exaggerating words, up until he was called up to accept his award.
"Thank you, Mr. Reger," Rick said, taking his plaque. "Wow. Even though you assure me this is the first of many awards, Mr. Reger, I assure you that it will forever be my most treasured because it comes from my Forgrove family. To be recognized in all of your eyes means more to me that all the recognition the world could offer. I would also--"
Roxanne froze as Rick's eyes landed on her. He stopped speaking a moment, observing her as his mind worked. The girl became instantly uncomfortable under that calculating stare. A dreadful smile crossed Rick's lips as he looked back out at his audience.
"I'm sorry for the moment of silence. I was just so taken by..." he paused again, smiling wider. "They say when it rains, it pours, and I like to think of good fortune the same way. I will remember tonight for the rest of my life becuse of the honor you are all bestowing me and for a lifelong choice I will make here, before this academic family. Roxanne Callisto, would you be so kind as to come up here for a moment?"
Roxanne froze as all heads turned to look at her. 'Ye Gods, what is that idiot doing?' she worried. Rick smiled and laughed, urging her to come up. 'Damn, I have to! That asshole backed me into a corner. if I don't go up they'll think I'm an insensitive prick....' Roxanne forced a smile onto her face and walked up to the small stage before the entire Forgrove University community. rick turned to her, all smiles, but a glint of wickedness in his dark eyes.
"Roxy, we've only know eachother a short while, but we've been through alot, wouldn't you agree?" he said.
"I'll have to agree with that, Rick," she answered, somewhat stiffly.
"Now... I know this is sudden and I'm not quite prepared because I had decided to wait until I took this step but... they say it's the quality of the time in a relationship and not the quantity that defines it so..." Rick paused.
And in front of hundreds of people Roxanne would have to face every day until she graduated from the university, Rick got down on one knee and took her hand into his.
"Will you marry me, Roxy, and make this day a thou sand times more wonderful to me?" he asked, eyes gleaming horrifically.
Roxanne's eyes widened. Cries of joy and surprise and confuasion rang out from the crowd. She stared at Rick slack-jawed while he smiled back, fighting to keep a malevolent sneer of satisfaction off his face. She felt hundreds of eyes on her, cheering for her to say yes. Her professors all sitting out there, laughing and encouraging her to agree to Rick's loving offer. A bit of a sneer did finally reveal itself on Rick's face when Roxanne's eyes turned glassy.
"Why are you doing this to me...?" she asked.
"Whatever do you mean, love?" he replied, voice dripping with exagerated affection.
"You know very well what I mean!" she couldn't help but scream, tearing her hand from his grasp.
The entire hall fell silent, aghast.
Rick stood up, feigning alarm. "Are... are you saying... no, Roxy..?"
Roxanne glared at him, eyes brimming with all her restrained emotion. "Stop it."
"And after all we've been through, how much I've cared for you..." he said, voice breaking.
She heard the disapproving voices rise in the crowd. There. That was it. She could pinpoint the moment she'd been labeled an insensitive, ungrateful shrew. In two days Rick had successfully made it unbearable to show her face at her school and impossible to show at her old workplace. He had swiftly taken what was left of her reputation and shredded it to nothing but his own conjured lies.
"God, Roxy, you told me you loved me..." Rick said, sorrowfully.
"Why are you doing this?!" she shouted. "Wasn't getting me fired enough?"
"I did it for you! Roxy, sleeping around for money is no way to live!" he announced, raising a few cries from the audience.
Roxanne's eyes flashed. She swiftly slapped him across the face with enough force to send him stumbling backward. Before anyone could stop her, she turned on her heel and dashed out of the hall, nearly slipping and braking her neck on the marble floors of the hotel. She didn't stop to get the jacket she'd checked in at the door and flew to the security of her rickety red car, slamming the door as she settled into the driver's seat.
She stood there, biting her lip a moment, anger swelling up inside of her. The first tear trickled down her cheek and she bit down harder on her lip until she drew blood to hold back a sob. Roxanne angrily rubbed at her eyes and turned the key in the ignition. The red car flew down the street, back towards her little apartment thirty blocks away.
One twenty-seven. Roxanne wouldn't be home for another two and a half hours. Sirius returned his attention to the photo album he'd found on Roxanne's bookshelf. He usually wasn't this nosey, but there wasn't much he could do. Besides... it had just been sitting there, waiting to be found. He flipped to a page containing photos of a young, pretty girl at her grade school graduation, a prom, with an older man and woman who had to be her parents at the beach and a high school graduation picture. Sirius chuckled at a photo of Roxanne being affectionately attacked by two large sheep dogs, one of which he was sure had been called Snuffles in it's time.
On the next page were more recent photos. One particular photo caught his attention before the others. Roxanne wasn't much younger than she was now, and was sitting on a park bench, leaning on the shoulder of a young man who had an arm around her. A large 'X' had been drawn on the photo in angry red ink. Sirius was glad he wasn't that boy when he and his ex-girlfriend broke up. The next photo pictured Roxanne and three girls posing in Halloween costumes outside a Muggle night club, all grinning. Four friends, all happy, looking forward to a bright future...
Sirius snapped the album shut. He remembered grinning for Lily's camera with his three best friends on more than one occasion, all of them happy and laughing and totally oblivious of how fast it would all be gone. He couldn't remember any of the happy times he shared with his friends while he was in Azkaban. The dementors took every pleasant, sane, precious thought you had and left you with all the pain and the guilt and regret and anger. All he'd been able to recall were the times he had fought with one of his friends or done them wrong. Of course he had plenty of time to dwell on the guilt he felt over switching the Secret-Keeper to Peter without telling anyone. Much of the blame, in his eyes, fell on himself for losing faith in Remus, thinking he had been the traitor when the man had been the only one who had been completely loyal to James and Lily to the very end.
But he wasn't in Azkaban anymore. No, Sirius was slowly begining to remember the good things life had once held and it hurt more to recall than all the hateful, horrible, painful memories in Azkaban. It hurt because they were only memories and would never be anything more. He would never sit and laugh with James again, nor would he go off on another full moon adventure as Padfoot with Moony. He wasn't even the same person he'd once been, was he? He had always been so reckless and young and brazen. Now his vitality had been diminished and all that remained was pieces of a man that would never be whole.
"No, I will be whole. I'll become who I was..." he assured himself, unconvincingly.
Did he even look the same or was he only a ghost of the handsome, cheerful man he once was? Sirius set the photo album on the coffee table and headed into the bathroom. He walked up to the mirror over the sink somewhat reluctantly. Did he really want to see what Azkaban had turned him into? Twelve years, even spent free and content, could change alot. He forced himself to face his reflection.
Sirius stood there a moment, letting his eyes travel over his face, comparing it to the vague memory he had of himself twelve years ago. His skin had gone slightly paler than what could be considered a healthy shade. His face was thinner than he would have liked, covered in a tangle of black hair around his chin and mouth. The hair on his head was less sightly and twice as long and knotted and unkept. His collarbones jutted out just a bit too far from under his ragged gray cloak.
"This isn't me..." he whispered, seeing the vigorless image of himself.
The thin frame, the ill look, the sunken eyes-- Sirius locked his gaze on the eyes of his reflection. The gray blue spheres shimmered as vividly as they had in his Hogwart's days, with twice the determination and, to his delight, recklessness. There was also anger and pain mingled with the other sentiments, but in those eyes, Sirius saw his true soul. He hadn't been lost. Sirius Black still existed as he had all those years ago, if not a little worse for the wear and wiser in ways he would have preferred to never learn.
A grin crossed over lips hidden beneath a dark beard. He opened the medicine cabinet, a thought coming to his mind. On the three small shelves were a variety of Muggle pills, remedies, and dental care items, but also a hair brush, nail file, scissors, and a bag of disposable razors. Sirius eyed the latter two items, grinning a little wider.
Roxanne stumbled over the last step in the apartment building, snapping her left shoes heels clean off. It rolled down the stircase, settling on a step where it could trip the next passer-by. But Roxanne didn't care now. She cursed and yanked off both shoes.
"Stupid hundred dollar shoes..." she muttered, leaving them in the hall and walking to her front door barefoot.
She turned the key in the lock and moodily slammed the door shut behind her after entering her home. Her handbag was promptly hurled across the room. 'I hate this... Why me? Why do I deserve this shit?' She dashed away her tears before they could fall, smudgeing her eye make-up to lead a little cloud of black under each eye. She had never been so humiliated in her entire life. She would never be able to go back to classes. Her professors wouldn't look at her. The students would torture her. Even less people would associate with her. It was over. All because of Rick's stupid little grudge...
Roxanne put a hand to her head.
"Great. A head-ache. Not that the sound of the damn shower is helping..." she muttered.
She froze. The shower? Had she left her shower on in her rush to get to the hotel? The water could be heard clearly falling from the spicket in her bathroom. That was when Roxanne noticed the remains of a sandwich and her open photo album lying on her coffee table. An icy dread ran up her spine, making her hair stand on end. Someone was in her house.
Roxanne dashed to her kitchen and snatched the phone off the hook to call the police. A dead beep was all that she heard from the earpiece.
"What a time to not pay the phone bill..." she muttered, setting the phone back on the hook.
It was in her hands now... Roxanne ran over to her counter and pulled the largest knife from her cuttlery set. She stood there for a moment, observing the fatal blade, doubtfully. Her conscience wouldn't let her use the weapon, but it was better to go in prepared than be caught totally defenseless. Roxanne solemnly walked towards her closed bathroom door, knife clutched in her right hand.
Sirius let the warm shower water roll over his newly cut hair and clean shaven face. His dark lockes just about reached his shoulders, an improvement from the waist length mass of tangles it had been. He had promised himself all he would do was cut his hair and get rid of the abominable beard he'd grown, but it was too tempting not to take advantage of having a shower. He figured he had another two hours to kill until Roxanne retured anyway. He didn't even mind that all Roxanne's soaps smelled like green tea or chamomile.
He closed his eyes and let out a content sigh. He'd missed being able to do the normal, routine activities he once took advantage of. Now being able to step into a shower or look in a mirror or read a book were cherished privileges. And after he found Peter and proved his innocence, he could do those things whenever he wanted for the rest of his life...
Water suddenly ceased to fall onto Sirius's face. 'Damn, did Roxanne skimp paying her water bill...?' He opened his eyes and found that the faucet knob had been turned to the off position. He wondered if this was some Muggle invention a few moments until a white, fluffy mass fell over his head. Sirius nearly slipped on the slick surface of the tub as he yanked the towel off of his head.
"Put on the towel and get out of the shower," came Roxanne's voice.
Sirius paled five shades when he saw the shadow of the woman through the shower curtain and knew his plans might not go as smoothly as he had originally planned...