Disclaimer: Love ya, J.K.R. Not stealing, just borrowing.

Chapter Five

Sirius Black rolled onto his side, arm hanging over the side of the mattress. His mind was at the half-way point between slumber and consciousness, but he could still hear the busy movement of Roxanne in the kitchen. A particular scent found it's way to his nose a moment later. Sirius grinned sleepily at the smell of home-made waffles, eggs, crisp bacon, and freshly brewed coffee. One of Lily's specialties. Yes, that was it. That was Lily in the kitchen downstairs, preparing one of her generous breakfasts for her husband and friends. The last twelve years had simply been some God awful nightmare, a horrible product of staying up too late with Prongs and Moony and eating spicy foods in the wee hours. Soon he'd sit up in bed and find James and Remus grinning at him. Prongs would make a comment like, 'Glad you could join us, Mattress King. Have a nice beauty sleep?' to which Remus would add something along the lines of, 'Of course he did. He was the only one able to sleep through his own snoring'. Then they would have a laugh and go have breakfast together, just like old times.

The man forced his eyes open, excitement burning in his chest. But neither James or Remus were there to greet him. All he saw was a Muggle digital clock reading ten after ten in harsh red lights. It hadn't been a nightmare. The excitement faded into a dull pain. James and Lily were dead. Sirius had been framed and spent the last twelve years of his life in no conditions that could be deemed living. Peter was free. Remus was off hating Sirius somewhere, alone. Everything was the opposite of how it should be. A deadened feeling settled over Sirius at this depressign realization.

It would never have be better. It had all been real, had all happened. Even if he did manage to kill Pettigrew and clear his name, James and Lily would still be dead. It wouldn't hurt any less than it did now or twelve years ago. It would never be the same. He'd had a wonderful life, a perfect life, and it had all been taken away, guiltlessly.

Sirius sat up in Roxanne's bed, bitterly. She had insisted that he take her bedroom for the night and let her sleep on the couch. Now that he thought of it, he couldn't remember what exactly she had said to convince him to take up her offer. All he knew was that Roxanne could be a lawyer for persuading him and that he had just had the most comfortable sleep he'd had in twelve years. At least there was a bright side to waking up this morning.

With a yawn, he shoved aside the bedsheets and stood up. Sirius stretched until his back gave a satisfactory pop and headed toward the door. On the way he caught a glimpse of himself in Roxanne's wall mirror and couldn't help but grin a bit.

Don't I look like the menacing murderer?

In fact, there was currently nothing threatening about Sirius's attire, unless you were afraid of bad fashion statements. Roxanne had lent him some of her oversized sleep attire to wear instead of his old, ragged cloak. Sirius hadn't really looked at them before pulling them on and falling unconsciously onto the bed. He was clad in a pair of flannel drawstring pants, bearing a red and green plaid design. Though the legs only reached to an inch or two above his ankles, they were wide enough to avoid cutting off any circulation. Clashing perfectly was the green tee he had been given to wear, donning a rather chubby black and white panda bear with the words 'Save Our Wildlife' scrolled beneath it in gray lettering. The sleeves were a bit snugger than Sirius would have liked and the shirt only came to a few inches below his waist, whereas it nearly reached Roxanne's knees.

Sirius shook his head, chuckling. With his long hair he looked more like a fervent environmentalist than a dangerous convict. He felt the bad mood that he'd nearly settled into lifted from his chest as he left the bedroom. The smell of coffee again greeted him, piquing his appetite.

He walked into the living room, bare feet comfortably padding against the rather worn carpeting. He stopped a moment, looking around. Something was missing... Of course. He'd broken the coffee table. The shattered remains had been cleared away, leaving a vast, vacant space between the couch and entertainment system. Guilt sparked within him as he realized the dent he'd probably put on Roxanne's already failing financial situation. He decided to pay her for the expenses if he ever cleared his mind and gained access to his Gringott's vault again.

As soon as he entered the kitchen, Sirius found Roxanne flitting about the room, humming a tune to herself. He stood by the doorway. watching her a moment. 'Muggles do everything the hard way....' Sure enough, all the trouble Roxanne was going through at the moment between frying and toasting and brewing could all be accomplished in less than half the time with a wave or two of a wand. She piled the last waffle onto an already overflowing plate and set the whole thing on the kitchen counter.

"Are you expecting guests?" Sirius finally made himself known.

Roxanne whirled around in surprise, spatula grasped in her right hand, poised to attack. The moment her eyes landed on Sirius she burst into laughter. He grinned, walking over and taking the spatula out of her hand.

"You picked it out," he reminded, looking over the kitchen utensil, oddly. "What is this thing?"

"What? You've never seen a spatula before?"

"A spatula?" he snorted. "Muggles are all the same..."

"Muggles...?" she inquired, raising a brow.

He didn't reply to the question. "Are you expecting guests? There's alot of food here."

Roxanne noticed his glaring avoidance of the topic, but let it go. For now. "As a dog you ate twice your weight in hot dogs. I figured you're a big eater."

"Because my physique entirely supports that assumption..." he mummbled, hand momentarily running over his too-pronounced collar bone.

The young woman looked a little flustered. She hadn't meant to make a point of his malnutritioned state. Sirius glanced up and saw her apologetic, worried stare. A small grin crossed his lips.

"The food looks good. You didn't have to do this, Roxanne," he told her. "I'll help you carry it..."

"Carry it where?" she mused. "I don't think the coffee table would do us much good in its current state. Besides, I don't feel like digging it out of the trash. Pull up a seat, Black. We'll have to use the counter."

Roxanne gestured to a few folding chairs leaning against the kitchen wall. They each took their own and sat down to their breakfast. Roxanne poured herself a glass of orange juice and lifted her fork. She filled her plate with a waffle, a fried egg and two peices of toast and started on her meal. She happened to glance over at Sirius and did a double take. The man sat there, staring at the fork she'd given him in a sort of amazement. Roxanne felt slightly disturbed yet at the same time sympathetic, by the sight of him looking at the utensil as if he'd never seen anything quite like it in his life. Another thought occured to her. What kind of person doesn't know what a spatula is? Or how to work a television, as Sirius had off-handedly mentioned nearly smashing her remote to bits trying to 'work that bloody picture box', for that matter?

"...Is everything okay?" she asked quietly.

Sirius jumped, startled out of his thoughts. He looked at Roxanne, brows raised. "What?"

"I said is everything okay, Sirius?" she repeated, eyeing the fork in his hand.

The man realized what he had been doing and flushed a bit. "Fine..."

He quickly averted his eyes from Roxanne's gaze and helped himself to some food. Embarassment welled up within him. How long had he sat there, staring at his fork like an idiot? It had just been such a long time since he'd been able to use one. At Azkaban he had been lucky if they remembered to toss him some food, no less a fork or spoon or napkin. Who would have ever thought there would be a day when Sirius Black, the same bold, rebellious, reckless young man who had once earned himself a name as a great Auror, would be amazed by a common kitchen utensil? The effects of Azkaban had run deeper than he would ever know...

Unknown to him, Roxanne was again staring at him. This time it was with surprise and not uneasy sympathy. He had begun to plow away at his breakfast, not very unlike he had in his canine form. A small smile tugged at her lips and she returned to her own plate. She was glad to see him eat so heartily. He really was too thin to be very healthy. She remembered seeing though ribs jutting out just a couple centimeters too far above the white towel he had had wrapped around his waist.

Some minutes later, she cleared away the empty plates, happy to find not a scrap of food had escaped Sirius's appetite. She began to rinse and scrub the plates at the sink, as she had never invested in a dish-washer due to her financial situation. Sirius remained quiet, sitting in his folding chair a few feet behind Roxanne's turned back. She smiled a bit. She should probably be at least a little concerned about having her back to an escaped convicted murderer. Setting a plate on the dish rack to dry, she wondered how many other people would be as calm as she was in the same scenario.

She glanced over her shoulder at said convict. Sirius sat there, looking at nothing in particular, though there was a strange, deep emotion in his light eyes. 'Sometimes he can look so pensive and grim. He wasn't as grim when I saw him twelve years ago. I wonder if he's ever been happy...' That last thought bothered Roxanne. She didn't like the sadness in the man's eyes. She didn't want to believe her last speculation could be true.

"So..." she said as casually as she could manage. "Have you decided yet?"

Sirius looked up at her, once again jarred out of him thoughts. "Decided?"

"You know. About me tagging along with you," she reminded.

"Ah, that," he muttered, sitting upright in the folding chair.

Sirius had given that alot of thought since their conversation the prior night. Roxanne had done him nothing but good since he came across her. She was one of the more decent people he'd met in his life, not to mention the only person who believed he was innocent. The last thing he wanted was for harm to befall her and the path he was taking was a dangerous one. On the other hand, it wasn't right to leave her here when she so obviously didn't belong in this world. Roxanne was brought up a Muggle, taught to think, act and believe as her 'fellow' Muggles. Despite all of it, she still maanged to retain a bit of her true self. There was magic in her, without a doubt. She should know at least what she was...

"Well?" Roxanne pressed, wiping her hands off on a dry cloth, having finished the dishes.

"Well..." Sirius sighed. "I've decided its up to you. I'm sure having you along would benefit me, but I'm not sure how the good and bad weigh in your favor. You should know all the facts before you make a choice, in any case."

"I'm all ears," she said.

"You'll have to do more than hear what I tell you, Roxanne..." the man told her, frowning. "You'll have to believe and you may find that a little much to ask of you."

"Ah. I see," she said, tossing the towel aside.

Roxanne sat in the folding chair beside Sirius, setting her green gaze on him.

"Try me."

He eyed her a moment, hiding his surprise. She looked rather determined to be open to whatever he had to say. That stubborn nature reminded him of someone he'd known a long time ago. A smirk almost broke out on his face when he realized he was reminded of his younger self. Sirius sought a way to begin to explain magic to a Muggle-raised stubborn young woman.

"Everything you think you know isn't all there is," he said, doing his best not to cringe at the drama dripping off the statement. "You've been raised to believe that fact is fact, reality is reality and there's nothing else. Everything else you can dream up is a fairy tale or a lie. the truth is that half the things Muggl-- people dream up exsists."

Roxanne showed no signs of comprehension at his vague allusions. Sirius decided to be a little more blunt.

"There is such a thing as magic, no matter what you've been told," he said, firmly. "There's a whole other world aside from the one you live in. There's a society built on the existance of magic, just as yours is built on the ignorance of it. I guess you could call it the Wizarding world."

The young woman stared at him a moment. Sirius looked back, waiting for a response. Roxanne blinked a couple times, wordlessly. Her face turned into a decided angry scowl.

"This is your big revelation?" she snorted. "Geez, Black, if you're so against me coming along just tell it to me straight!"

"I told you you wouldn't believe me," Sirius sighed, frustrated.

"Of course I don't believe you. Unlike youself, I'm sane."

He rolled his eyes. "I can turn into a dog because of magic, Roxanne. In the wizarding world, people like myself are called Animagi."

"Yea, well, we have a few choice words for people like you in this world, too."

That's it. His patience disappeared. "Fine. I'm crazy. All those years cooped up in a dark cell drove me nutters. Everyone else believes it. Maybe they have a point. Since I'm so mentally unbalanced, maybe you could give a logical explanation for my ability to turn into your precious Snuffles?"

It wasn't very often that Roxanne Callisto was struck speechless. She usually had quite a few opinionated words on any given subject. At the moment she could think up neither a retort or an answer to Sirius's question. There was no logical reasoning to a man being able to turn into an animal. Her eyes narrowed at him.

"I don't know why you can do what you do, but I'm beginning to think you are a bit off your rocker. There's no such thing as magic, Black. As much as you and millions of other delusionals on this planet like to tell themselves, this is all there is..."

The last staement was said in a sort of sad tone, even though her expression was stern and decided. Sirius shook his head a little.

"We both know you don't believe that," he said, seriously. "Part of you is knows I'm right and has always known."

Roxanne seemed to weaken a little in her resolve. "Prove it."

"Alright. How about you? Those powers you have aren't just some phase. That's magic, Roxanne," he told her.

"It can't--- wait. Are you telling me I'm a ... a wizard?"

"Women are witches, not wizards," he replied casually. "And yes, that's what I'm saying."

"But--"

"There's alot of potent magic inside of you. You just haven't been taught to harness it yet. Once you learn that, I have no doubt that you'll be an excellent witch."

A small, desperate laugh escaped her lips. "This is crazy..."

"Oh, come on, Roxanne! You know I'm right! You know it," he exclaimed.

Roxanne stared at him, feeling a head ache coming on. She couldn't deny how much she wanted to believe every word he was telling her. All her life she felt like she had been misplaced in the grand scheme of things, that the life she was doomed to lead as an outcast wasn't the one she was meant to have. She'd always hoped that one day she'd get a chance to escape and live the life she dreamed. But such thoughts were childish, she'd been told. To survive in the world she had to face reality. But to believe Sirius Black meant that his words were reality.

Other thoughts came to her head. What if he was just lying to her to get her to come with him? What if he wasn't innocent and was just taking advantage of Roxanne's notions that he was? The girl allowed herself to look directly into his eyes. He didn't look away. There was nothing sinister in those depths, nothing malicious towards her. For one reason or another, Roxanne truely felt like she could trust him.

"Tell me more," she finally said, quietly.

"That's more like it," Sirius said, relieved. "Now that you believe me, there are some things you should know about the state of the Wizarding world at the moment. Some years back, there was a dark wizard named Voldemort. No one could stop him. He had his mind set on killing every wizard who wasn't of pure blood."

"Pure blood?" Roxanne cut in.

"Pure blood means that person's lineage has no non-magical influence, meaning that the person has all wizard blood in them. I come from a pure blood family, unfortuneatly. Most of them are snooty gits with a superiority complex. There are also Half-bloods, which are wizards with non-magical influence or.. otherwise. For instance, a werewolf is comsidered half-blood. Then there are Muggles who have absolutely no magic in them whatsoever. Understand?"

"Yea..."

"Well, Voldemort wanted to purge the wizarding world leaving only his pure blood supporters. He had alot of people to help him with the dirty work, though. Groups of pure blood maniacs called Death Eaters would go around killing and following his order. This went on for quite a few years. It was horrible. You could go home and find your entire family murdered while you were gone... Its sort of like that Muggle guy in your World War II..."

"Hitler?"

"Yea, that crazy git. That's how Voldemort was. But he was stopped, eventually. He was defeated while trying to kill a boy named Harry Potter, who happens to be the son of my best friends..."

Here Roxanne noticed Sirius turn grim.

"James and Lily were his parents. They, myself and my two other best friends Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew all went to school together. We were one big family, especially since Remus and I had pretty lousy relatives. We were unseperable, all of us, but James and I were like brothers. It's a long story, so I'll sum it up. In the end, I did a few things I shouldn't have done, Peter betrayed us all and James and Lily died."

When Sirius's eyes met Roxanne's she almost gave a gasp. The previous harmless nature in the blue orbs was now a searing murderous rage.

"That's why I escaped Azkaban. I'm here to kill Peter," he said in an icy tone.

"But I saw him die twelve years ago," she remembered.

"No, you saw him turn into an Animagus and run away. He could turn into a rat, not that he needed to be an Animagi to do it..." he grumbled. "He got off scott free and I landed a decade and a half in Azkaban."

Sirius sat back in his chair a moment, scowling. Roxanne waited for him to continue, wanting to hear more. She had no problem with him killing this Peter person. Were she in a similar situation, he'd have already been dead.

"Travelling with me is the most dangerous thing to do next to travelling with Voldermort, at the moment. The whole wizarding world is on high alert. You see, I'm the first person to ever escape Azkaban. It's like a fortress in there, between the magical bindings all over the building and the.. the dementors..."

Here a shiver ran up the man, and a far away look came into his eyes. "That's what I'm afraid of happening. A dementor finding us and taking us both..."

"Well, you got out of prison once. We can escape again, right?" Roxanne pointed out.

"Which is exactly why they won't send us back to Azkaban. They'll worse than kill us..." he swallowed, a glimmer of fear in his eyes. "Dementors are... are horrible creatures. There's really no words to tell you. The only way you really understand is to be near one... They aren't human and they don't have any conscience. When they're around, all the happiness is sucked out of you. Any good thought you had to keep you sane was stolen. You forget the world you knew and who you were before Azkaban. All that's left is the bad thoughts, all your regrets and fears and hate...

"But that's not the worst they can do to you. It's called the Dementor's Kiss. They suck your soul right out of you and leave you this lifeless shell. I saw one of their victims... They just walked around, nothing like they used to be, no words or thoughts or memories. God, there was nothing left---"

He jumped a foot off his seat when Roxanne's hand took his into her own. Sirius hadn't even realized they had been trembling with the memories of Azkaban filling his mind. He looked away from her eyes in embarassment. 'Look at you shaking like a baby. They're not lurking just down the hall anymore, Black. They're miles away. Miles.' Another shiver passed through him. 'Not far enough...'

"You must have some strength in you, Black," she whispered, looking over his rough, still slightly trembling hands. "You stood with those things for twelve years and you seem pretty sane to me. I don't think I could do it."

"I knew I was innocent,' he told her. "It wasn't a happy thought, so they couldn't take it. That's the only reason I'm not a gibbering idiot locked up in Mungoes--- er...an asylum."

"Still... I wish I was that strong," she said, thinking back on all the times she'd wanted to give up. "Well, I think that settles it. Going with you can almost ensure that I won't make it out of this alive."

"You don't have to come, Roxanne," he said quickly, looking up at her. "I shouldn't have even hung around you this long. You've done more than---"

"I'll do it," she stated.

Sirius blinked. "What...?"

"I rather die trying than never try at all," she said, grinning. "What I'm doing now isn't what I'd call living. I don't belong. No one wants me to belong. This is.. this is my Azkaban. If you leave me here you're as good as killing me."

"If that's your decision..." he said, a little surprised.

"And it is," she replied. "When do we leave?"

"Well, as soon as you can."

"Today then. Tomorrow rent's due and I refuse to spend another red cent on this place."

"Fair enough," Sirius agreed.

Roxanne smiled at him a moment. "I'll go get my things. Feel free to raid the fridge."

She let go of his hands, stood up and went to her room. Sirius sat where he was a moment, thinking over what the girl was getting herself into. He gave a sigh and headed toward the refridgerator.

The moment Roxanne stepped into her room a wide grin spread across her face. She was leaving! She was finally free of this place. She snatched a bag from a shelf on her wall and set it on the bed. Since she wasn't sure how long she would be gone, Roxanne decided to pack light but bare essentials. The first thing to go into the back were a few shirts, shorts, a pair of jeans, sneakers and a small jacket, just in case. It was the middle of July, so she didn't have to worry about being cold. After tossing in a few hygiene supplies, Roxanne lifted her mattress. Three wads of bills lay there. Ever since she found out her landlord could take money from her bank accounts if she was late of rent, she kept her own savings box. She tossed all of her money into the bag, along with her wallet containing her ID.

Roxanne sat on her bed and looked around her room, wondering if there was anything else she would need. Her eyes fell on the phone sitting on her bedside burea and a pang of guilt hit her. She hadn't even thought of her parents when she decided to go off with Sirius. They would have eventually found out when her lamdlord realized she wasn't in her apartment. What would they have thought? She was murdered? Stolen? Ran away? She had to tell them. Reluctance took hold of Roxanne at the thought of phoning her parents and telling them about her current situation.

No. A letter. Once she and Sirius were in a safe place, Roxanne would write a very long, detailed letter explaining to her parents what she had done. Telling them they may never see or hear from her again because she could be killed. A very long, impersonal letter...

'I don't think so.' Roxanne yanked the phone off the hook and dialed the familiar number to her parents' home. One ring. Roxanne tried to think of what she would tell them. How could she possibly explain...? Two rings. Someone picked up.

"Hello?" came her mother's voice.

Roxanne sat there with the phone to her ear, speechless. She couldn't do this.

"Hello? Is someone there?" the voice repeated.

She slammed the phone back on the receiver.

"I can't do it..." she whispered to herself.

But she had to. She just wouldn't tell them about what she planned to do. She'd make up a little story for the time being, just so she could say goodbye. Roxanne lifted the phone and redialed the number. This time her mother picked up right after the first ring.

"Hello?" she asked again.

"Hey mom," Roxanne greeted, trying to keep her voice normal and cheerful. She had a feeling she was failing at the attempt.

"Roxy? Did you just call me a minute ago and hang up?" her mother asked.

"Yea, that was me... Sorry."

"Oh, Roxy, is everything alright?" came the typical concerned-parent-response.

"Everything is fine. Listen, mom, I'm leaving Forgrove. Actually, I'm leaving England for a while."

"What? Whatever for?"

"Remember Simone? You know, my penpal from Russia? She arranged a visit to Russia for me. I figured nows a good time since the school year ended last week. Speaking of school, don't bother sending Forgrove anymore money. Its... its just not working. I'm going to take some time to find the right school, maybe closer to home."

"Oh, it's not those two idiots, what's their names? Rick and ...Bob? John?"

"Robert. And that's not the main reason, but it doesn't help. I just don't... I don't fit in here, mom."

"Thank God for it, Roxy."

"What...?"

"Thank God that you're set apart. You're unique from all those people. Your father and I have always known you were something special. Meant for bigger things. If you feel you need a year to find the right place, take a year. If you feel two is necessary, take two. I have faith in your judgement, Roxy. You know best for yourself. If you ever do need help with a choice, I and your father are always here."

"I.. I know, mom. Some choices I make in the near future you may not agree with, though..."

"Well... I'll try to be open, won't I? Anyway, when are you leaving for Russia?"

"This afternoon."

"This afternoon? Why didn't you call me sooner?"

"Sorry, I was busy this week with rent and getting things together. Oh, and I'm leaving the apartment, too. Don't give Reckles another dime."

"Don't worry about that, Roxy. You know how your dad is. If he can save a dime, he'll save two."

Roxanne gave a laugh. "I know. Is dad there, mom?"

"No, he left for a business trip yesterday."

"Oh... well, tell him I love him when you see him. And I love you, too, mom. I know I say it, but.. but I really mean it. You two are saints for raising a kid like me."

"Well then I can thank you when I go straight to heaven. I'll let you go, Roxy. It's already quarter after ten! Don't miss your plane! Call or write whenever you can, alright?"

"I will. Bye mom."

"Have a nice trip, Roxy! Love you!"

Roxanne smiled a little as the phone hung up at the other end of the line. Her mother never could let someone else be the last to say goodbye. She set the phone on the receiver with a sigh. She felt better about her choice now that she'd said her goodbyes. Roxanne slung her bag over her shoulder and left her bedroom.

"That was pretty quick packing for a woman," came Sirius muffled voice.

The man walked into the living room munching on a red apple. He was still donning the panda bear shirt and plaid flannel pants she had given him to wear.

"Maybe I should run to the store and buy you some clothes before we go..." she suggested.

"Don't bother. I'll be Snuffles while we're out in public and try not to call me Sirius," he reminded, taking another bite of the fruit.

"Are you sure? It'll take two days by train to reach London. We might---"

"Train? One of the perks of being a wizard is free transportation."

Her eyes widened. "Can you... fly?"

He almost choked on his apple in his laughter. Sirius managed to swallow the fruit in his mouth.

"Not without a broom, Callisto."

She scowled. "You don't have to be sarcastic about it."

"Watch me for a moment. Now you see me..."

Roxanne watched the man, confused. Her confusion only grew when he vanished with a loud crack. She stared ahead of her, slack-jawed. Panic hit her.

"Black?! Where are you? You did not just leave me here! You son of a bit--"

"Calm down, I'm right here!"

Roxane jumped, startled, and whirled around to see Sirius standing behind her. He went over to her.

"It's called Apparation. It's pretty dangerous if it's not done right, so I don't recommend trying to learn it right away."

"But I can't... Apparate," she pointed out.

"But I can. As long as I'm holding onto you you go wherever I transport us," he explained.

"Is that... safe...?" she asked, not fond of the idea he was putting before her.

"Considering your choice in travelling companions, I'm surprised safety is one of your concerns."

"I'm taking that as a no."

"Put it this way: whatever you do, don't let go of my hand and you'll be fine."

She sighed. "Alright..."

Sirius held out his hand to her. Roxanne paused a moment, then put her hand in his, sure to hold on tight.

"I'm going to transform as soon as we get there. Follow me to the bank so you can change your money into wizarding money. I'd let you have mine, but my bank key is at my house..." he frowned at the mention of his home. "Well, here we go. Don't let go of my hand."

Roxanne felt a strange tug at the pit of her stomach. She squeezed her eyes shut, suddenly wondering if she'd made the best choice. A loud crack rang in her ears and she was suddenly grasping air. An icy dread settled over her. Sirius's words repeated in her head: 'Whatever you do, don't let go of my hand.'

Well, he'd just let go.