Irene Adler's Letter
Author's note: My apologies to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Dr. John H. Watson, or Mrs. Irene Adler Norton (depending on your view of the authorship of the original letter) for stealing these words. My apologies to Master Sherlock Holmes for further romanticizing the story.
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My Dear Mr. Sherlock
Holmes,--
You did it very well.
You took me in completely.
Until the rocket fell
And everyone yelled "Fire!"
I had not seen the lie;
I had not a suspicion.
But when I found how I
Betrayed my precious secret,
I then began to think.
I had been warned against you,
Had heard that if the King,
Would wish to have an agent,
It surely would be you.
Your address I was given
I knew it through and through
But still you made me show you
The thing you came to see.
And once I was suspicious
I found it hard for me
To hate a dear and kind
Old clergyman like you.
But you know I'm an actress;
Male costume is not new.
I often take advantage
Of freedoms that are theirs.
I sent our John to watch you
Then hurried up the stairs
And got into an ulster,
Returning as you left.
I followed you to see if
I was an interest
Unto the celebrated
Dear Mr. Sherlock Holmes.
I wished you a good night, then
I headed toward the Thames.
Well, I and Godfrey could see
The best recourse was flight
When chased by one like you, so
We vanished in the night.
So, when you call to-morrow,
I fear that you will find
My little nest is empty--
I hope that you won't mind.
As to the photograph, well,
The King may rest in peace.
I love and am now loved by
A better man than he.
The King may do what he wills
Without hindrance from me.
I keep the photograph and
I know that it will be
A safeguard for myself and
A weapon I may use
Should he decide to hinder
The one he did abuse.
I leave a photograph which
The King might care to own
And I, dear Holmes, remain as
So very truly yours,
Irene Norton, née Adler
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P.S. Okay, so I know it's really awkward that the sentence usually isn't finished until the middle of the next stanza, but the text wasn't all the kind. Sorry.