Title: The Overwhelming Reality

Author: Dwell_In_Me

Disclaimer: Squaresoft owns the characters portrayed in this story…well not all of them..

Dedication: This one goes to my dear friend, Kelley…thankies muches!

Author's Notes: You guys are wonderful, here's Chapter 4 ...enjoy and don't forget to review!!!

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I'd spent most of the night staring at my ceiling. I was just thinking about how the visit was going to work out. It'd either end with my mom crying and telling me how much she hated me. Or, me not talking to her at all. I planned on talking, though. I don't know why. I just wanted to talk to her, once. Maybe make her feel worse for leaving me…or just the normal 'How's it going?'…you know…normal stuff. I wonder what she and dad have been up to. It's probably been pretty pleasant since I'm out of the picture. The last visit with my him didn't go to nice. I told him that I hated my mom and that I never wanted to see her. He was upset. He just wanted me to welcome her back into the family, but sorry, buddy, it ain't gonna happen.

I also found myself thinking about Seifer. I'm not sure what I was thinking but a long period of my "not-sleeping" was dedicated to the psycho. After lunch while I was on my way back to my room, I noticed Seifer walking down the hall the opposite way. His escorts were on side him. I glanced at him for a short time before catching his eyes and turning to mind my business. What was it about him that made me want to know more? Maybe it was just the fact that his life was a complete enigma to not only me, but to everyone else. There was this mystery hidden behind him, and I, Sherlock Holmes shall solve the case. I sighed heavily before placing my sheets over my head and trying to force my eyes closed. I really need a life.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"How are you feeling today, Squall?"

I had to see my psycho-doctor before the visit. It was kinda mandatory. I had to make my final decisions as to if I wanted to see my mother or not. He has the right to tell her that I don't want to see her if I say no. I think I'll go through with it though. "I'm fine." I say to him.

"Good." he smiles. I slouch against the sofa, and sigh heavily. He notes this and looks at me in concern "Are you sure, you're okay?"

"I'm fine." I repeated. "Just a little scared." And I was. But I regretted telling him that though, because I knew what was going to happen next.

"Scared of what, exactly?" I knew it. I'd said to much.

"Nothing…" I said flatly. And since he can't force me to talk I left it there. He still looked pretty concerned.

The reason I was scared or, I prefer the term 'aware'. I was aware that this would not work out the way I wanted it to at all. That's Murphy's fucking Law for you. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. The realistic ness of that scares me. I shudder suddenly, as I notice my therapist staring at me through his eyeglasses. "I'm okay, Nothing's wrong."

"Squall…" he starts. "If you aren't feeling right and don't want to go through with this, you should tell me now."

"No, I'm fine." I leaned deeper into the comfort of the sofa, sighing one last time.

"Alright, then. Visitation starts at 12:00, you have approximately 30 minutes left in here before time, but if you change your mind at any time, you should let me know."

I nod. I was going to go through with this. I wasn't going to back out now. And what could go wrong, right?

*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Squall!" the familiar brunette stands from the sofa located in the visiting area. She rushes over to me and embraces me with a warm hug. I unconsciously put my arms about her waist hugging her back. "Sweetie, It's so good to see you!" She pulls me in closer to her, before slowly letting go of my waist. I don't know what to say. I look at her delighted face. She seems so emotional. I can't show any back. I tried to smile, but it came out more as 'lips parted slightly, curved slightly at the edges' Nothing much. Her expressions seem to die as she looks into my eyes. She walks over to the sofa and beckons for me to come over to her. I sit without thinking and look over to her. Say something Squall. Say Something…don't just stare…

"Hi." It sounded a bit drier than it should have, but it was a start.

"Hey." she smiles. "How's it been."

"Fine." simple. Not to much. Straight to the point.

"Well, I've been fine, too." she says, as if I'd asked her. Like I actually gave a fuck how she was feeling.

I sigh.

"We miss you." she says.

If they missed me so much, I wouldn't be here in the first place. You know what, fuck her and fuck dad, too. She annoys me so fucking much, I hate her. She left us. She left me. I was a kid. She left her fucking kid. What kind of shit is that. God, Why did I even agree to this? I could have easily said no, but I had to be so stupid, and approve of this, this, this thing. I was going to try an have a pleasant conversation with her, making her feel as good as possible, but she want to come in my face with a whole bunch of bullshit? I don't think so.

"Still doing those self monologues, I see" she smiles. "You always used to do that when you were younger." Make it worse, why don't ya? "You look so cute when you do that." she touches my cheek. I tense from her touch and I'm sure she noticed it. She moves her hand and straightens her dress at the bottom. I give her a menacing glare before turning away. I don't even know what to say, am I just about had enough… "Why do you talk to yourself so much, Squall?" she smiled.

"'Cause I was never able to talk to you." I mumbled. I'm sure she heard it because her gaze fell to her lap. And I'm also sure she wasn't actually asking me that, but the opportunity was right there. So I opened my big mouth. Bitch.

"Squall, don't start." She placed her head into her hands and leaned on her knees. "Please, don't start this."

"Why not?" I asked, smiling inside. I'm so bad…

"Look, I came to visit you, didn't I? Don't start that crap, tryin' to make me feel sorry for what I did."

"Then why the fuck," heavy on the fuck. "did you do it?"

"Look, Squall, I'm not going to fight with you." she started. "I came to tell you some important news. Now you either shut your mouth, or I leave now…"

I rolled my eyes. "What's the news?" A very sarcastic grin slips over my face.

"Well, we're having a baby." she says. I'm sure it was supposed to be a happier moment than this, but it didn't come out the way she planned.

"Oh really!?" Quite exuberantly was it? "So you finally decided to spread your legs for my dad other than someone el-" --She fucking slapped me…The fucking bitch just fucking slapped me. She arose from her seat and ran from the room. I lick the side of my lip and use the back of my hand to wipe it. I smiled. Take that with you and shove it up your ass.

Was I too mean to her? Hmm…I doubt it. And anyways I haven't had a good laugh in a while, I think it was about time.

(to be continued)

A/N: Well another chapter, and as I promised, this chapter is dedicated to Kelley a.k.a Shade1, my dear dear friend! She gave some advice on to how the visit should go, but yay! I bet u weren't expecting that, huh? I'm so bad!!!

Well, thankies much to all that review, it what makes this story worth doing…well Chapter 5 is coming up in a while, so keep reviewing and I'll keep posting!! ^_^