"Tourniquet"
Ellie looked at Paige. "How can you help me?" Paige stared into Ellie's sad, beautiful eyes. She wanted to take all of Ellie's pain away. "Whenever you feel like you're alone. Whenever you feel helpless, about to cut. Call me, no matter what the time. My cell phone is always on. My number, here's my number." Paige took out a piece of paper and wrote her cell phone number down. Paige handed the piece of paper to Ellie, and Ellie nodded. "I'll try." Paige helped Ellie up, and hugged her once again. "Now I'd better get back to class. You should go to the office and say you don't feel well. They'll let you go home. Then you can sleep. Okay?" Ellie nodded, fingers tingling from loss of blood. Paige walked back to class, and Ellie headed to the office. It wasn't hard to convince them she wasn't feeling well, because she really truly wasn't.
Ellie walked home. She opened up the door to her house and immediately saw her mother on the sofa, so boozed up that she had passed out. Ellie walked limply into her room, and collapsed onto the bed. When she woke up, it was because of her mother. Her mother was in the nearby bathroom, moaning and throwing up. Ellie took out the compass and stared at it. It was amazing how such a little tool could change so much of her life.
I tried to kill the pain but only brought more. I lay dying and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal. I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming. Am I too lost to be saved? Am I too lost?
Ellie sighed, bringing up the sleeve on her shirt. She cut, not so deep this time, but enough so it hurt. Enough to bleed. When Paige called, what would she say? Ellie knew Paige was serious about this. Paige would call. Ellie brought up the other sleeve of her other arm. She'd never cut this arm before. Would it be different?
My God, my tourniquet. Return to me, salvation. My God, my tourniquet. Return to me, salvation.
Why would it be different? It was still skin. Ellie smiled to herself. She cut, several times. It was really a good thing that the carpet was red. Ellie might have felt stupid to think of that at this moment, but she knew that was all her mom would care about.
Do you remember me? Lost for so long. Will you be on the other side or will you forget me? I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming. Am I too lost to be saved? Am I too lost?
Ellie cried herself to sleep, and was awoken by the harsh ringing of the telephone. Ellie picked up the phone, not saying a word. "Ellie?" It was Paige of course. "Hey Paige." Ellie said weakly, her throat dry and flaky. "I woke you up, didn't I? You've been sleeping this whole time?" Paige asked. Ellie sighed. "Um, no." Paige must have noticed the change in tone of voice. "Ellie, what did you do? Did you cut again?" Paige asked again, her voice alarmed. My God, my tourniquet. Return to me, salvation. My God, my tourniquet. Return to me, salvation.
Ellie was silent. She looked at her arms. Here was a dilemma. Should she lie to the girl who's trying to help her? Ellie got the nerve to speak. "Yes," Ellie's voice sounded tearful. "Paige, could you please come over to my house?" Paige didn't even have to think about it. "Of course. I'll be right over, hon." Paige hung up the phone, and Ellie sat there, reciever pressed against her ever beating heart. Someone cared. Someone actually cared.
When Paige arrived, Ellie couldn't help but smile. Even though it was a small smile, Paige knew it was a big step for Ellie. Paige grabbed Ellie into a big hug. "Have you eaten today?" Paige asked. They were standing outside of Ellie's house. "No." Ellie said. She realized she hadn't eaten in two days. "Let's go eat," Paige replied. When Ellie looked hesitant, Paige continued. "It's on me." Paige took Ellie's hand in hers, and they headed to the nearby restaurant.
My wounds cry for the grave, my soul cries for deliverance. Will I be denied? Christ, tourniquet, my suicide.
Ellie looked at Paige. "How can you help me?" Paige stared into Ellie's sad, beautiful eyes. She wanted to take all of Ellie's pain away. "Whenever you feel like you're alone. Whenever you feel helpless, about to cut. Call me, no matter what the time. My cell phone is always on. My number, here's my number." Paige took out a piece of paper and wrote her cell phone number down. Paige handed the piece of paper to Ellie, and Ellie nodded. "I'll try." Paige helped Ellie up, and hugged her once again. "Now I'd better get back to class. You should go to the office and say you don't feel well. They'll let you go home. Then you can sleep. Okay?" Ellie nodded, fingers tingling from loss of blood. Paige walked back to class, and Ellie headed to the office. It wasn't hard to convince them she wasn't feeling well, because she really truly wasn't.
Ellie walked home. She opened up the door to her house and immediately saw her mother on the sofa, so boozed up that she had passed out. Ellie walked limply into her room, and collapsed onto the bed. When she woke up, it was because of her mother. Her mother was in the nearby bathroom, moaning and throwing up. Ellie took out the compass and stared at it. It was amazing how such a little tool could change so much of her life.
I tried to kill the pain but only brought more. I lay dying and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal. I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming. Am I too lost to be saved? Am I too lost?
Ellie sighed, bringing up the sleeve on her shirt. She cut, not so deep this time, but enough so it hurt. Enough to bleed. When Paige called, what would she say? Ellie knew Paige was serious about this. Paige would call. Ellie brought up the other sleeve of her other arm. She'd never cut this arm before. Would it be different?
My God, my tourniquet. Return to me, salvation. My God, my tourniquet. Return to me, salvation.
Why would it be different? It was still skin. Ellie smiled to herself. She cut, several times. It was really a good thing that the carpet was red. Ellie might have felt stupid to think of that at this moment, but she knew that was all her mom would care about.
Do you remember me? Lost for so long. Will you be on the other side or will you forget me? I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming. Am I too lost to be saved? Am I too lost?
Ellie cried herself to sleep, and was awoken by the harsh ringing of the telephone. Ellie picked up the phone, not saying a word. "Ellie?" It was Paige of course. "Hey Paige." Ellie said weakly, her throat dry and flaky. "I woke you up, didn't I? You've been sleeping this whole time?" Paige asked. Ellie sighed. "Um, no." Paige must have noticed the change in tone of voice. "Ellie, what did you do? Did you cut again?" Paige asked again, her voice alarmed. My God, my tourniquet. Return to me, salvation. My God, my tourniquet. Return to me, salvation.
Ellie was silent. She looked at her arms. Here was a dilemma. Should she lie to the girl who's trying to help her? Ellie got the nerve to speak. "Yes," Ellie's voice sounded tearful. "Paige, could you please come over to my house?" Paige didn't even have to think about it. "Of course. I'll be right over, hon." Paige hung up the phone, and Ellie sat there, reciever pressed against her ever beating heart. Someone cared. Someone actually cared.
When Paige arrived, Ellie couldn't help but smile. Even though it was a small smile, Paige knew it was a big step for Ellie. Paige grabbed Ellie into a big hug. "Have you eaten today?" Paige asked. They were standing outside of Ellie's house. "No." Ellie said. She realized she hadn't eaten in two days. "Let's go eat," Paige replied. When Ellie looked hesitant, Paige continued. "It's on me." Paige took Ellie's hand in hers, and they headed to the nearby restaurant.
My wounds cry for the grave, my soul cries for deliverance. Will I be denied? Christ, tourniquet, my suicide.