~Losing All Control~004

It's not possible, I refuse to believe it is and if it is, than I refuse to believe that it's probable. That girl, my supposed apprentice has apparently continued her studies over this damned summer and has left me with barely anything to teach her. She's possessed or she's not who she shows herself to be.

And it's not fair; she's becoming more beautiful as every year passes. Her Weasley tresses have darkened to a red that appears black, a spell of some sort I am convinced she used herself. It's so hard to be mad at her, to hate her, to be around her when I want to do things to her, things I should never think of, because she's my student, a girl more than half my age.

Than there's her face with those damning eyes; when she hides behind the mask of innocence she fools you, so when she looks you in the eye she reads your emotions and thoughts, defiling your very being because you were caught unawares.

***

Somewhere along some imaginary line, I lost all control, of myself, of the students, of everyone and everything around me. I hate to lose control. Dumbledore the fool has hired Mad Eye Moody for DADA, the man is insane, either one, it doesn't seem to matter anymore. He let two foreign schools into Hogwarts to revive the Triwizard tournament, a tournament that by it self is already deadly. But no, he had to let two foreign schools in, knowing full well that one allows the Dark Arts to be taught to the students, another deadly threat. It's just too much.

Precious Potter is the fourth champion and he's only a fourth year, Dumbledore let him compete without question. How far is that man willing to go before someone dies, will he sacrifice everyone for the 'greater good?' Even the Boy Who lived?

***

It's getting harder to keep a sense of sanity inside these stone walls. And I'm sure you know how everything will turn out, Potter and his merry band of do-gooders will succeed by some stroke of pure luck. Dumbledore will get what he wants, and if he doesn't I will surely pay the consequences. And my darling Virginia will leave me stranded, my questions unanswered and her goal full filled.

Virginia is something else really. I thought that there were no surprises left to her, but again she has proven me wrong. I am amazed at her ability to surpass everyone around her, and yet she still manages to hide herself, posing as just another Weasley when she has in fact never been one.

I suffer with all these secrets upon me. Having her so close to me, and not being able to touch her. She's the only thing stopping me; that look in her eyes, defiance and hatred. When she looks at me, when she finds me watching her, I see pity thrown back at me. At least she looks back, unlike anyone before her who has had the displeasure of my eyes upon them.

I've allowed her into my private chambers, the books I own offering her unlimited knowledge about the darkness she craves so much. She doesn't need me anymore, I've nothing to offer; her questions remain unanswered and I sense that she grows weary of me. My own plans lay shattered and forgotten while I watch her build her own. I don't stop her, I won't, and perhaps she will succeed where I have so disappointingly failed.

***

Soon it will be time, time to bring her to him. He grows strong; I can feel it. The mark on my arm sears my pale sickly flesh. It darkens and Lucius tells me soon. I dread it, just as much as I await it. Good or evil doesn't seem to matter anymore. I've become helpless, useless, a pawn, again.

I want her for myself, but she wants him and for some reason I find myself believing that he wants her just as much. I can see why.

She sits again in my living room, head bent over a book that rests on her lap. Her beautiful hair sliding down her shoulder to cover her face, so that her thin hand raises to push the lush strands back behind her ear.

***

She asked me again. Those dreadful questions I despise so much. She looked me in the eye and I froze, stunned, confused, and I could tell that she knew I knew she knew that I didn't know.

She smiled, and I was truly frightened at what I saw. It was a cruel smile that graced those red stained lips; the malice tinged her eyes. She was furious, I guess she didn't need my books or me. After all this time I find that she just wanted answers to those dreadful questions.

She left, picked up her bookbag, turned on her heel, and exited my chambers. Glass shattered behind her, and as she slammed the door, I saw the wood splinter. I stood once again, dumbfounded at her display of power. But then again I shouldn't be this surprised.

A 'pop' echoes behind me and I turn cautiously, not knowing what to expect. Again, I am caught by surprise. This really is getting ridiculous.

"Hello Severusss. It's good to see you doing soooo well after all this time."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~To be continued~~~~~~~~~~~~~

XOX- Haha, thankz, and no I don't think Harry is an ingrate, except in the fifth book, I think JKR overdid it a bit with the teenage hormones. lol

Cortez- I haven't thought about writing in from Ginny's point of view, but thats because I'm lazy, I just might go ahead and do it when I'm finished this fic.

rebekah1- thankz, sry the update took so long.

Scanra- that's me, descriptive, and thankz, and I'm glad you're injoying it.

DarkAngel-95- Well I'm glad you like darkginny, but there isn't going to be anything from Ginny's POV in this fic, maybe in another parallel story of this I might do it all from Ginny's side of the story.

Carolina- Thankz, I'm glad you like it

TomFeltonsBabi- Thankz

hahatushkaru- Haha, I like d/g and l/g too, D/G is what I read the most so yay. And I'm sry the chapters are so short but as Ginny grows up and gets darker, there will be more stuff to write, cause what's written so far is just like one big introduction to the surprise. lol. Glad you like it.