Disclaimer:

Characters and concepts created by Rumiko Takahashi. The situations parodied were created by the Monty Python Partnership. Used here without permission but with good intentions.

Part I: Miroku in the Castle Anthrax

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"I seek the shards!" Miroku proclaimed. "I have seen them here in this castle!"

"Oh no!" the woman cried. "Oh, my bad, bad sister Zoot!"

"What's the matter?"

"Oh, bad, wicked, evil Zoot!" she responded as a way of explanation. "She has been setting alight to our beacon, which, I've just remembered is shard-shaped. It's not the first time we've had this problem. A man in baboon skin was here only yesterday."

"It's not the real Shikon no Tama?" Miroku was disbelieving.

"No. Oh naughty, evil Zoot! She is a very bad person and must be made to pay the penalty! And here at Castle Anthrax we have but one punishment for setting alight the shard-shaped beacon: she must bear your child!"

"Oooooooooooooooooh" the other girls chorused.

"She must bear your child," the woman continued. "And when the two of you are done, I will bear your child too!"

"And me. And me!" the women were becoming more and more excited.

"Yes, we'll all bear you child!"

Miroku couldn't believe his luck.

"Miroku!" A harsh voice interrupted his current perverted train of thought as Inuyasha came rudely crashing through the door.

"What the hell are you doing hanging around a dump like this? Don't you know we have a job to finish…" his irritated rant trailed off as he took a closer look at the situation.

"Oh," one girl said. "I want to bear HIS child!"

"I want to bear his child too!" said another.

"I just want to touch his ears!" said a third. "They're so cute!"

Inuyasha was now backed into a corner. He was surrounded by ten infatuated women who were stroking his hair and fighting to get close enough to touch his ears. The expression on his face was that of a trapped wild animal.

"What's the matter with your friend?" Zoot's sister questioned Miroku while seductively holding his arm. "Does he not feel comfortable in our presence?"

"Well," Miroku considered. "His parents died when he was very young. I guess no one ever explained the facts of life to him. This must come as a bit of a shock."

"Doesn't know the facts of life…" she appeared thoughtful. "Perhaps this will help."

She took Miroku's arm in one hand and rescued Inuyasha from the seething fray of females with the other. Before either of the startled and somewhat outnumbered males could question, she pushed the two of them through the nearest doorway…

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A/N: What sort of warped and convoluted adventures will Miroku and Inuyasha have next? Keep in mind, this IS the Castle Anthrax. Stay tuned…