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Miroku and Inuyasha, having been rescued from the evil spell of the Castle Anthrax, attempted to continue the quest. Miroku, after trying to impregnate the castle's eager inhabitants, was beaten to a bloody pulp by Sango. Inuyasha on the other hand had nearly died of embarrassment as a result of that "enlightening" educational experience.
Inuyasha, now recovered, continued on with only Kagome for company. Miroku did not join them because he was unconscious. Sango also remained behind so she could pound Miroku (again) should he ever awaken. Shippo stayed in the hope that his presence could prevent any unnecessary casualties.
As easy as the journey began, it wasn't long until Inuyasha and Kagome encountered a new and unusual problem.
"Who the hell are you?" Inuyasha began with his customary charm.
"We are," the leader of these strange beings replied, "the Knights who say… Osuwari."
Thump.
"Shit!" Inuyasha spit out a mouthful of rocks. "Not the Knights who say Osuwari."
"Who are they?" Kagome was curious.
The leader answered her. "We are the keepers of the sacred word Osuwari!"
Thump.
"Those who encounter us rarely live to tell the tale!" another Knight added dramatically.
"I can see why you bastards!" Inuyasha's grating voice floated up from his position on the ground.
"Knights of Osuwari," Kagome was interrupted by another thump but continued on with the attitude of one who is completely unaffected by the Knights' magic. "We are simple travelers who seek the Shikon shards beyond these woods."
"The Knights who say Osuwari—Thump—demand a sacrifice and we shall say Osuwari—Thump—again to you if you do not appease us."
"You've said it enough already dammit!"
"What do you want?" Kagome knew that they could not continue the quest if her companion was continually slammed into a crater.
"We want," the leader paused dramatically, "a shrubbery."
"What the fuck!"
"Osuwari!" this time it was Kagome who had spoken. "It serves you right Inuyasha," She answered his growls. "You should watch you foul mouth."
"You must return here with a shrubbery," the leader elaborated. "Otherwise you may not pass."
"O Knights of Osuwari—Thump—you are just and fair." Kagome said.
"That's easy for you to say wench!"
"We will return with your shrubbery." She finished and began to pull Inuyasha out of his crater.
"Make sure it looks nice and isn't too expensive." The leader specified.
"Of course." Kagome always considered herself a person of taste.
"Don't push it, baka!" Inuayasha muttered under his breath not wanting to be 'sat' again.
The two set off in search of a shrubbery.
After a long day of searching for shrubs when they could have been searching for shards, Inuyasha, now sick of being tortured with the "O-word", approached the leader of the knights.
"Here's your damn shrub. Can we go now?" His question was more of a demand.
The leader of the Knights who say Osuwari looked at him levelly and replied, "It is a very fine shrubbery, but there is a problem."
"What's the fucking problem now!" It was clear that Inuyasha had tolerated enough abuse for one day.
The leader continued, "We are no longer the Knights who say Osuwari."
A thump accompanied by assorted profanity was Inuyasha's only reaction.
"We are now," the knight went on to add, "the Knights who say Ni."
Another earth-shattering thump greeted this statement but strangely enough it was not Inuyasha.
Inuyasha looked down in surprise and saw a rather bruised Kagome lying in a crater. An evil smile slowly spread across his face.
Kagome picked herself up, dusted herself off and asked with what remained of her dignity, "What must we do now Knights who say N— I mean," she quickly caught herself, "Knights who recently said Osuwari?"
Thump.
Inuyasha decided that he had kissed the ground for the last time as he now realized the full potential of the situation.
"Kagome," he began in a voice filled with evil innocence, "What do you mean 'Knights who recently said Osuwari'? These are the Knights of Ni."
Thump.
"That is correct, strange demonic being." The leader replied, "We are the Knights who say Ni."
Thump.
"Ni, Ni, Ni," the other knights gleefully chorused seemingly ignorant of the girl's plight.
Thump, thump, thump.
For the first time in Kagome's memory Inuyasha laughed. Instead of being glad at this unheard of occurrence, however, she was furious.
"How dare you!" she screamed, her eyes flashing dangerously as he reveled in his newfound power.
"Osu—" she began.
"Ni," he cut her off.
A large thump followed by a few rather explicit remarks on Kagome's part was all that was heard.
"Osu—" "Ni." Thump.
"Ni." Thump.
"ni!"
"Ni!"
"NI!"
thump
Thump
THUMP
And so after instigating this strange war of words the Knight who recently said Osuwari, now the Knights who say Ni, left to await the coming of King Arthur who hopefully had better taste in shrubbery.
A/N: Isn't this how you imagined Inuyasha's revenge? hehehe