Disclaimer: I own nothing
Mage Kitty: Yay! I got a review!!! Hey remember me? I was psychodude! and my story got banned for swearing at Sashka!
Cedar Hospital, Downtown Haven
Root was still feeling hungry after his first serving. So, to ease his gluttony, he strode up to the counter. "Two slices of meat-lover's, please." The young lady at the counter handed him 3 slices, noticing the gun at Root's side.
He settled into his chair and quickly devoured all three slices. Belching, he got up and stuck his mouth under the soda dispenser. The manager approached him, only to be sprayed with a mouthful of Cherry Coke. The manager quit on the spot.
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Root proceeded to eat compulsively over the years. With his enlarged stomach, he could cram more and more in, eventually breaking the record of most hot dogs eaten in 5 minutes. (56 was the record. Root beat it by 12)
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LEP HQ, Downtown Haven
Newly-appointed Commander Root crammed a handful of peppered squid jerky into his mouth. He chewed. And chewed. And chewed..................................
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BLEAAAARGH
"You ok?" questioned Nate.
"Hic. Madam, I may be drunk, but BLLEEEEEAAAAARGH," exclaimed Root. Nate glanced at Foaly, who was holding up a bag of "Turkey Jerky", which was really an invention by Foaly. Once chewed down to the center, a harmless drug was released. The drug did nothing permanent, but gave the consumer the feeling of being drunk.
"Scuse me ma'am, but although I am Richard Nixon, and I like pina coladas HUUURRBLLEAAAAARGH!!!"
Foaly realized his invention wasn't going so well. Sinking into a personal fantasy, he switched on his walkie-talkie and channeled in on the sick bay. "Captain Kirk to sick bay, come in sick bay."
"Sick bay to dorky centaur, what is your problem?" came the sarcastic reply of the medic warlock.
"Root his blowing his cookies all over the floor, I think he might need to pay you a visit. Kirk over."
The conversation went on for some time, all the while Foaly pretending to be Kirk. Finally the paramedics arrived. They strapped Root onto the stretcher and hurried him away.
A/N: ok that sucked, but what the hell, eh? r/r plz.