A/N: Lookie! I'm back! Finally! Thanks to all who reviewed, I'll have 100 by the time this is over, and that's just neato! Yeah, so I've read parodies that were already at the 100 mark at this point, but we all know I'm UNPOPULAR! *sniff* Anyway, I hope this one's as good as the others, as I currently haven't thought of any jokes to use...
Disclaimer: Still don't own the Matrix. So leash your rabid lawyers and make them stop crapping on my lawn!!!
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Chapter 9
We last left off our heroes (if you can really call them that) eating candy and getting every form of gum disease known to man (and some not known to man). Little did they know that the candy had...bum bum buuuuuum...SUGAR in it!!!
NEO: Hehehehehehe sugar. Hehehehehehehe....
MOUSE: *running in circles* Tastee Wheat Tastee Wheat Tastee Wheat Tastee Wheat Tastee Wheat Tastee Wheat...TASTEE WHEAT!!!! *runs out the door*
NEO: WAIT FOR ME!!!
Unfortunately, the crew is SUPPOSED to be asleep. So the lights are all out.
NEO: *crashes into random computer* OW!!!
RANDOM COMPUTER: How do you think I feel?!
NEO: AHHH!!! ANOTHER TALKING COMPUTER!!!
RC: Well duh, we're very common in the real world *starts laughing*
NEO: What's so funny?
RC: You're standing on your friend's face.
NEO: *gasps* I am?! *bends down* Sorry, Bun-Bun, I didn't know you were in the real world too! *lifts up Mouse*
MOUSE: Who's Bun-Bun?
NEO: ...my rabbit. But you're not him. *puts Mouse back down and steps on his face again*
MOUSE: Ow...pain...
RC: You're an imbecile. You should be jealous of pond scum, as its IQ is no doubt at least ten times yours. I feel embarrassed for your parents for ever...
NEO: *sniff* That's not nice! I must sulk!!!! *walks away, sulking*
Various scenes of lights turning on and stuff. You know, more boring, unnecessary time-filling type things.
NEO: *sitting in little hallway thing, singing* Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I'm gonna go EAT WORMS! *rocks back and forth*
TANK: Hi Neo ol' buddy ol' pal! Didya sleep?
NEO: *starts shaking head*
TANK: Aww, that sucks, you will tonight though. I guarantee it.
NEO: You gonna put drugs in my...?
TANK: In your food? You bet.
NEO: Stop interrupting me or I'll kick your...
TANK: *shakes finger* Nuh-uh, no swearing.
NEO: Shut up or I'll kick your...
TANK: *gives a warning look*
NEO: ...avast. I'll kick your avast.
TANK: Good. Well, bad, but at least you suppressed your rage.
NEO: But I just threatened you!
TANK: Whatever. Hi, I'm Tank, I'll be your operator!
NEO: You're gonna operate on me?
TANK: You bet. You ate too much candy last night.
NEO: How did you know I was eating candy?
TANK: Err...
NEO: Were you SPYING on me?!
TANK: No. I was spying on Mouse.
NEO: Oh, okay. Hey...you don't have any...
TANK: *sighs* look, it wasn't by choice, okay? It was just an accident involving a chainsaw and an alarm clock!
NEO: o_O What are YOU talking about?
TANK: *looks around, then whispers in Neo's ear*
NEO: Ooooh, ouch.
TANK: Yeah.
NEO: But actually, I was talking about holes.
TANK: That's a cool book, my older brother reminds me of Zero! He doesn't talk and can't read!
DOZER: HEY! I HEARD THAT!!!
TANK: Erm...yeah, you were talking about the holes in your body?
NEO: Yes.
TANK: Ah. Well, nope, sure nuff I don't got none o' them holes. They cramp my style.
NEO: Uhh...
TANK: Nah, I was just born in the real world like my brother was.
NEO: Cool. So what's Zion?
TANK: Neo, you hafta let me finish my line where I actually MENTION Zion before you ask me that.
NEO: Oh...sorry, go ahead.
TANK: I'm a genuine child of Zion.
NEO: Zion?
TANK: If the war was over tomorrow, that's where the party would be.
NEO: But what's Zion?
TANK: Then again, we may have a party anyway, we always do after some kind of big inspirational speech.
NEO: And Zion is...?
TANK: But I suppose they're more like big, disgusting orgies.
NEO: Tell me what Zion is or I'll kick your...
TANK: *glares*
NEO: ...avast.
TANK: Thank you. Zion is a city.
NEO: What a gay name.
TANK: I'm standing right here.
NEO: That's nice, but I wasn't calling your name gay, was I? Nooooo.
TANK: I don't care. You insulted my city!
NEO: How is "happy" an insult? Zion sounds like a happy name...it's the name of this church I saw once in Florida...and churches are pleasant. Well, unless you have to go IN them, but that's beside the point.
TANK: Yeah, okay. You might see it if you don't die a slow, painful, horrible death. That's right, Neo, you DON'T wanna DIE before you can see ZION, do you?
NEO: Are you foreshadowing something?
TANK: Who, me? *looks around* No, not at all. Um...well, anyway, time to start your training!
NEO: Cool, do I get to use a Stairmaster? Or a treadmill? Or a steppy stool with annoying dance music? Or a big, gigantic, large, huge, enormous, gargantuan rubber ball?
TANK: No, I'm just gonna stab a giant needle in your head and look at some annoying mini-disks. And you'll enjoy every minute of it.
NEO: Oh, okay.
CUT TO: PLUGGY ROOM, WHERE NEO IS PLUGGED IN AND TANK IS IN FRONT OF HIS COMPUTER SCREENS.
TANK: Well, we're supposed to start off with these operational programs, but they're major boring poopy...
NEO: Poopy?
TANK: Well, you know, no cursing. There are small children on this ship.
NEO: Oh, so THAT'S why I can't say...
TANK: *glare*
NEO: ...avast. But couldn't it mean donkey?
TANK: Why call it an avast when you can just call it a donkey?
NEO: Well, it would have one less syllable under normal circumstances.
TANK: Whatever. How about we do something more interesting?
NEO: *looks at screen* Calculus? I'm gonna learn...calculus?
TANK: You bet.
NEO: I thought you said I was going to do some not-boring stuff!
TANK: Neo, I said interesting, not fun.
NEO: Ah. Damn the author and his script changing!!
AUTHOR *innocent look*
TANK: Nah, you can learn this!
NEO: *squints* DOA? What's that?
TANK: You'll see...
NEO: *looks constipated as veins start popping out of his neck*
TANK: Did I load the right program?
NEO: *stops looking constipated* Holy poopy!
TANK: Hey, Mikey, I think he likes it!
NEO: Who's Mikey?
TANK: Who gives a rat's avast? Poopy! You want some more?
NEO: Sure, why not?
TANK: Well, it might make you constipated again.
NEO: Well, you know, constipated people just don't give a crap.
TANK: Quite true!
MORPHEUS: How's he doing?
TANK: Ten hours straight. He's a machine! *cough cough*
MORPHEUS: Are you trying to foreshadow something?
TANK: I dunno.
NEO: I know every single combo for Kasumi!
MORPHEUS: Show me. Tank...IT'S TIME TO BUST OUT THE PS2!
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A/N: I've decided it's easier to do one scene. So I think it'll be like that for the most part. Hope you don't mind, I think you should at least be glad that I have TIME to update...I sure am...oh, and thanks to my reviewers!
lazy kaitou: Sheesh, always so lazy. Wake up, Sora, you lazy bum! Gah! Kairi! NOOOOOOOO! Anywho, Tastee Wheat (as I learned that is the correct spelling, though I'll probably still type 'Tasty Wheat' as it makes more sense and gives me one less annoying red line in Word) is just something Mouse thought up. At least as far as I know. He goes into a bunch of philosophy on chicken as well. Yeah, I went to a site that has a pirate glossary and translator (didn't use it for Jack's cameo, as he doesn't overuse the pirate talk). Pretty nifty indeed. And thank you, I got better (kinda bad if I had a two week long stomach virus thing...).
The Farting Menace: Indeed, that was a challenge. I actually hoped more people would try it. Well, you got all of them right, except, of course, the one you didn't know. That one was Simon Birch, which was a pretty sad movie and Jim Carrey really only did narration (I think) and was at the very beginning and the very end. A million bazillion kjaakjdsillion cookie points for you (I made up that number, must think of what it is equal to...). Oh, and about the ones I left out...I didn't think about Liar Liar (TOTALLY forgot!) and as for The Truman Show and Dumb and Dumber...I haven't actually seen them all the way through! I can't believe it!!! You were really hyper...is it my writing? Ah well...hopefully more piratey references soon (there was one in this chapter, noticeably, that me and my friend made up whenever we had the urge to curse in front of small children...).
theshiz: Wow. Yeah! Wait...who's Emilio Estevez again? I know I've heard of him...I know I have...was he married to Gloria Estefan? Or am I just getting confused because their names are similar...was it Paula Abdul, maybe? Gah, I can't remember...what kinda movie stuff's he in? Hey...I shoulda given you a cameo when Neo was stepping on Mouse's face...you could save your true love, lol.
Hobbit-eyes: Well, the whole sickbay beaming thing...hmm...you know, I have no clue where I got that from...kinda like something you'd expect to see in Blazing Saddles or an Airplane movie...Oh, and with the whole throwing up thing...yeah, that's just my weird, twisted sense of humor. I think I'm done now...maybe...but I really WAS sick then, so if my stomach was any weaker, well...you know. But let me see...I swear I had something else to say...meh, I'll think about it.
The Artema: Yeah, the ellipse battle was an example of how silence is truly golden. But that whole thing was made up between me and my friend, where I said something stupid (over IM) and she just said (well, typed, but you get the point) "..." And then I just commented on how that's technically an insult so we started randomly going "... .. . ....... ... . ..............!!!!" Ah, good times, lol. And thanks for the soup, we actually had some for dinner even though I felt better by the time it was ready. Oh, by the way, Chibi Neo won't stop flying around my bedroom...I keep telling him he's gonna hit the ceiling fan...kinda reminds me of all those creatures people send after Hobbit-eyes, threatening her to update...not that I'm ENVIOUS of her and her Wob-Wob and its offspring and various mutated animals and rubber chickens. I really prefer keeping brownies for myself, thank you very much.
Trinity36706: Aww, now you made me feel bad for making you come close to death. You know what they say about knocking on Death's door...don't do it! Ring the doorbell and run, he hates it when you do that! Oh, and here I am. Writing. Writing EXTREMELY long callouts. Running out of things to say. Let's see...uhh...nope, nothing. Nothing to say...uhh...yes, I suppose I am happy you almost laughed yourself to death, now that I think about it *evil laughter comes out of nowhere* Ahem...anyway, I didn't mean that. Really. I never wish bad stuff on my reviewers...I need every single one I can get!!
Ashy: Wow, lots to talk about. Okay...so Cypher's goggles were X ray goggles? COOL! And don't get all scientifical...you've read the story, you know the audience isn't exactly the brightest bunch! Yeah, I'll sell you a red pill...won't be a trace program, just some allergy and sinus medicine...but it'll make you sleepy! I love the cold! It's finally getting COLD in FLORIDA! Isn't that AWESOME?!?!?!?!?! Morpheus was born in the X-Mart across town near that Steak 'n' Shake and all those Chinese restaurants, apparently...*shudders* BAD image! BAD image!!! 75 cents? Who's giving you 75 cents? Certainly not me! Mwahahahaha!!! Oh, well if you tore yourself away from Kenshin...fine, I'll give you money. Yes, ferrets beep. I thought I made him beep at my party before we all ran outside an had a silly string battle...oh well. And your review was for chapter 4, so I could only assume that you hadn't read up to six...WHICH YOU DIDN'T!!! You went up to MA while I was in WPB and I didn't even have chapter 6 DONE then! SO NYAAAA!! Yes, proofs are evil. Easy, but evil...*sigh* Geometry is so easy...I've almost got half a credit already, didya know that? I proud of myself. I'll try to remember to call the Neb OEAF from now on (and for people reading this, OEAF does not stand for anything...it's just a result of random keyboard typing...).
I hope you're all happy about your much longer than usual thank yous and such. I was just bored when I was doing them, and rambled on and on and on and on and on and on...you get the point. Please review, they make me feel happy!
Disclaimer: Still don't own the Matrix. So leash your rabid lawyers and make them stop crapping on my lawn!!!
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Chapter 9
We last left off our heroes (if you can really call them that) eating candy and getting every form of gum disease known to man (and some not known to man). Little did they know that the candy had...bum bum buuuuuum...SUGAR in it!!!
NEO: Hehehehehehe sugar. Hehehehehehehe....
MOUSE: *running in circles* Tastee Wheat Tastee Wheat Tastee Wheat Tastee Wheat Tastee Wheat Tastee Wheat...TASTEE WHEAT!!!! *runs out the door*
NEO: WAIT FOR ME!!!
Unfortunately, the crew is SUPPOSED to be asleep. So the lights are all out.
NEO: *crashes into random computer* OW!!!
RANDOM COMPUTER: How do you think I feel?!
NEO: AHHH!!! ANOTHER TALKING COMPUTER!!!
RC: Well duh, we're very common in the real world *starts laughing*
NEO: What's so funny?
RC: You're standing on your friend's face.
NEO: *gasps* I am?! *bends down* Sorry, Bun-Bun, I didn't know you were in the real world too! *lifts up Mouse*
MOUSE: Who's Bun-Bun?
NEO: ...my rabbit. But you're not him. *puts Mouse back down and steps on his face again*
MOUSE: Ow...pain...
RC: You're an imbecile. You should be jealous of pond scum, as its IQ is no doubt at least ten times yours. I feel embarrassed for your parents for ever...
NEO: *sniff* That's not nice! I must sulk!!!! *walks away, sulking*
Various scenes of lights turning on and stuff. You know, more boring, unnecessary time-filling type things.
NEO: *sitting in little hallway thing, singing* Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I'm gonna go EAT WORMS! *rocks back and forth*
TANK: Hi Neo ol' buddy ol' pal! Didya sleep?
NEO: *starts shaking head*
TANK: Aww, that sucks, you will tonight though. I guarantee it.
NEO: You gonna put drugs in my...?
TANK: In your food? You bet.
NEO: Stop interrupting me or I'll kick your...
TANK: *shakes finger* Nuh-uh, no swearing.
NEO: Shut up or I'll kick your...
TANK: *gives a warning look*
NEO: ...avast. I'll kick your avast.
TANK: Good. Well, bad, but at least you suppressed your rage.
NEO: But I just threatened you!
TANK: Whatever. Hi, I'm Tank, I'll be your operator!
NEO: You're gonna operate on me?
TANK: You bet. You ate too much candy last night.
NEO: How did you know I was eating candy?
TANK: Err...
NEO: Were you SPYING on me?!
TANK: No. I was spying on Mouse.
NEO: Oh, okay. Hey...you don't have any...
TANK: *sighs* look, it wasn't by choice, okay? It was just an accident involving a chainsaw and an alarm clock!
NEO: o_O What are YOU talking about?
TANK: *looks around, then whispers in Neo's ear*
NEO: Ooooh, ouch.
TANK: Yeah.
NEO: But actually, I was talking about holes.
TANK: That's a cool book, my older brother reminds me of Zero! He doesn't talk and can't read!
DOZER: HEY! I HEARD THAT!!!
TANK: Erm...yeah, you were talking about the holes in your body?
NEO: Yes.
TANK: Ah. Well, nope, sure nuff I don't got none o' them holes. They cramp my style.
NEO: Uhh...
TANK: Nah, I was just born in the real world like my brother was.
NEO: Cool. So what's Zion?
TANK: Neo, you hafta let me finish my line where I actually MENTION Zion before you ask me that.
NEO: Oh...sorry, go ahead.
TANK: I'm a genuine child of Zion.
NEO: Zion?
TANK: If the war was over tomorrow, that's where the party would be.
NEO: But what's Zion?
TANK: Then again, we may have a party anyway, we always do after some kind of big inspirational speech.
NEO: And Zion is...?
TANK: But I suppose they're more like big, disgusting orgies.
NEO: Tell me what Zion is or I'll kick your...
TANK: *glares*
NEO: ...avast.
TANK: Thank you. Zion is a city.
NEO: What a gay name.
TANK: I'm standing right here.
NEO: That's nice, but I wasn't calling your name gay, was I? Nooooo.
TANK: I don't care. You insulted my city!
NEO: How is "happy" an insult? Zion sounds like a happy name...it's the name of this church I saw once in Florida...and churches are pleasant. Well, unless you have to go IN them, but that's beside the point.
TANK: Yeah, okay. You might see it if you don't die a slow, painful, horrible death. That's right, Neo, you DON'T wanna DIE before you can see ZION, do you?
NEO: Are you foreshadowing something?
TANK: Who, me? *looks around* No, not at all. Um...well, anyway, time to start your training!
NEO: Cool, do I get to use a Stairmaster? Or a treadmill? Or a steppy stool with annoying dance music? Or a big, gigantic, large, huge, enormous, gargantuan rubber ball?
TANK: No, I'm just gonna stab a giant needle in your head and look at some annoying mini-disks. And you'll enjoy every minute of it.
NEO: Oh, okay.
CUT TO: PLUGGY ROOM, WHERE NEO IS PLUGGED IN AND TANK IS IN FRONT OF HIS COMPUTER SCREENS.
TANK: Well, we're supposed to start off with these operational programs, but they're major boring poopy...
NEO: Poopy?
TANK: Well, you know, no cursing. There are small children on this ship.
NEO: Oh, so THAT'S why I can't say...
TANK: *glare*
NEO: ...avast. But couldn't it mean donkey?
TANK: Why call it an avast when you can just call it a donkey?
NEO: Well, it would have one less syllable under normal circumstances.
TANK: Whatever. How about we do something more interesting?
NEO: *looks at screen* Calculus? I'm gonna learn...calculus?
TANK: You bet.
NEO: I thought you said I was going to do some not-boring stuff!
TANK: Neo, I said interesting, not fun.
NEO: Ah. Damn the author and his script changing!!
AUTHOR *innocent look*
TANK: Nah, you can learn this!
NEO: *squints* DOA? What's that?
TANK: You'll see...
NEO: *looks constipated as veins start popping out of his neck*
TANK: Did I load the right program?
NEO: *stops looking constipated* Holy poopy!
TANK: Hey, Mikey, I think he likes it!
NEO: Who's Mikey?
TANK: Who gives a rat's avast? Poopy! You want some more?
NEO: Sure, why not?
TANK: Well, it might make you constipated again.
NEO: Well, you know, constipated people just don't give a crap.
TANK: Quite true!
MORPHEUS: How's he doing?
TANK: Ten hours straight. He's a machine! *cough cough*
MORPHEUS: Are you trying to foreshadow something?
TANK: I dunno.
NEO: I know every single combo for Kasumi!
MORPHEUS: Show me. Tank...IT'S TIME TO BUST OUT THE PS2!
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A/N: I've decided it's easier to do one scene. So I think it'll be like that for the most part. Hope you don't mind, I think you should at least be glad that I have TIME to update...I sure am...oh, and thanks to my reviewers!
lazy kaitou: Sheesh, always so lazy. Wake up, Sora, you lazy bum! Gah! Kairi! NOOOOOOOO! Anywho, Tastee Wheat (as I learned that is the correct spelling, though I'll probably still type 'Tasty Wheat' as it makes more sense and gives me one less annoying red line in Word) is just something Mouse thought up. At least as far as I know. He goes into a bunch of philosophy on chicken as well. Yeah, I went to a site that has a pirate glossary and translator (didn't use it for Jack's cameo, as he doesn't overuse the pirate talk). Pretty nifty indeed. And thank you, I got better (kinda bad if I had a two week long stomach virus thing...).
The Farting Menace: Indeed, that was a challenge. I actually hoped more people would try it. Well, you got all of them right, except, of course, the one you didn't know. That one was Simon Birch, which was a pretty sad movie and Jim Carrey really only did narration (I think) and was at the very beginning and the very end. A million bazillion kjaakjdsillion cookie points for you (I made up that number, must think of what it is equal to...). Oh, and about the ones I left out...I didn't think about Liar Liar (TOTALLY forgot!) and as for The Truman Show and Dumb and Dumber...I haven't actually seen them all the way through! I can't believe it!!! You were really hyper...is it my writing? Ah well...hopefully more piratey references soon (there was one in this chapter, noticeably, that me and my friend made up whenever we had the urge to curse in front of small children...).
theshiz: Wow. Yeah! Wait...who's Emilio Estevez again? I know I've heard of him...I know I have...was he married to Gloria Estefan? Or am I just getting confused because their names are similar...was it Paula Abdul, maybe? Gah, I can't remember...what kinda movie stuff's he in? Hey...I shoulda given you a cameo when Neo was stepping on Mouse's face...you could save your true love, lol.
Hobbit-eyes: Well, the whole sickbay beaming thing...hmm...you know, I have no clue where I got that from...kinda like something you'd expect to see in Blazing Saddles or an Airplane movie...Oh, and with the whole throwing up thing...yeah, that's just my weird, twisted sense of humor. I think I'm done now...maybe...but I really WAS sick then, so if my stomach was any weaker, well...you know. But let me see...I swear I had something else to say...meh, I'll think about it.
The Artema: Yeah, the ellipse battle was an example of how silence is truly golden. But that whole thing was made up between me and my friend, where I said something stupid (over IM) and she just said (well, typed, but you get the point) "..." And then I just commented on how that's technically an insult so we started randomly going "... .. . ....... ... . ..............!!!!" Ah, good times, lol. And thanks for the soup, we actually had some for dinner even though I felt better by the time it was ready. Oh, by the way, Chibi Neo won't stop flying around my bedroom...I keep telling him he's gonna hit the ceiling fan...kinda reminds me of all those creatures people send after Hobbit-eyes, threatening her to update...not that I'm ENVIOUS of her and her Wob-Wob and its offspring and various mutated animals and rubber chickens. I really prefer keeping brownies for myself, thank you very much.
Trinity36706: Aww, now you made me feel bad for making you come close to death. You know what they say about knocking on Death's door...don't do it! Ring the doorbell and run, he hates it when you do that! Oh, and here I am. Writing. Writing EXTREMELY long callouts. Running out of things to say. Let's see...uhh...nope, nothing. Nothing to say...uhh...yes, I suppose I am happy you almost laughed yourself to death, now that I think about it *evil laughter comes out of nowhere* Ahem...anyway, I didn't mean that. Really. I never wish bad stuff on my reviewers...I need every single one I can get!!
Ashy: Wow, lots to talk about. Okay...so Cypher's goggles were X ray goggles? COOL! And don't get all scientifical...you've read the story, you know the audience isn't exactly the brightest bunch! Yeah, I'll sell you a red pill...won't be a trace program, just some allergy and sinus medicine...but it'll make you sleepy! I love the cold! It's finally getting COLD in FLORIDA! Isn't that AWESOME?!?!?!?!?! Morpheus was born in the X-Mart across town near that Steak 'n' Shake and all those Chinese restaurants, apparently...*shudders* BAD image! BAD image!!! 75 cents? Who's giving you 75 cents? Certainly not me! Mwahahahaha!!! Oh, well if you tore yourself away from Kenshin...fine, I'll give you money. Yes, ferrets beep. I thought I made him beep at my party before we all ran outside an had a silly string battle...oh well. And your review was for chapter 4, so I could only assume that you hadn't read up to six...WHICH YOU DIDN'T!!! You went up to MA while I was in WPB and I didn't even have chapter 6 DONE then! SO NYAAAA!! Yes, proofs are evil. Easy, but evil...*sigh* Geometry is so easy...I've almost got half a credit already, didya know that? I proud of myself. I'll try to remember to call the Neb OEAF from now on (and for people reading this, OEAF does not stand for anything...it's just a result of random keyboard typing...).
I hope you're all happy about your much longer than usual thank yous and such. I was just bored when I was doing them, and rambled on and on and on and on and on and on...you get the point. Please review, they make me feel happy!