A/N: Hiya fellas. *ducks under the table* Before you hurt me for being all non-updatey…uhh…do a little daaaaaance…*smacks self* sorry, too much Invader Zim for me. Don't be surprised if there are a million bazillion Zim references in this chapter. I don't even remember what chapter I'm ON…oh, okay, now I do. Hehe.
Disclaimer: Lawyer repellent joke got old. So I don't own the Matrix.
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Chapter 13
(Cypher smokes. Bad Cypher, haven't you seen those Truth commercials? The scene cuts back to the Nebber, with Tank getting some nasty stuff from a soft-serve ice cream machine)
TANK *hands bowl to Neo* Here ya go, breakfast of champions.
NEO: Wasn't that Wheaties? Or some other cereal?
TANK: Who cares?
NEO: I don't! I get ice cream for breakfast!
TANK: Uhh…
NEO: Heeey….this doesn't look like ICE CREAM…
TANK: So, Neo, why are you wearing a hat that makes you look like the author's middle school band director?
NEO: Because I CAN, and my HAIR is sorta NONEXISTENT at the moment.
TANK: Cypher has less hair than you, and HE'S not wearing a hat.
SWITCH: He may have less hair on his HEAD, but have you seen his BACK?
TRINITY: No, what were you doing looking at Cypher's back?
SWITCH: I wasn't. Mouse told me.
(Everyone looks at Mouse)
MOUSE: *goes into flashback*
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
***FLASHBACK OF DOOM!***
MORPHEUS: Hey, Mouse, guess what?
MOUSE: What?
MORPHEUS: Chicken butt!
MOUSE: Aww, I ALWAYS fall for that!
MORPHEUS: No, really, guess what?
MOUSE: What?
MORPHEUS: We've just unplugged ANGELINA JOLIE and put her in CYPHER'S old room.
MOUSE: Really?!?!?!
(Mouse runs to Cypher's room and opens the door without knocking)
MOUSE: Hello, beautif…
CYPHER: (singing) Do do dooo, I just got out of the shower, dooby doo, and I'm singin' here nekkid…
MOUSE: AHHHHHHHH!!!!
***END FLASHBACK OF DOOMY DOOM!***
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MOUSE: Um…it's a long, involved story that we don't have time to get into right now…let's just say that's why my eyes always seem so abnormally large.
NEO: Ah. *looks down at his bowl* This is the weirdest looking ice cream I've ever seen…
MOUSE: Yeah, and if you close your eyes, it feels like you're eating runny eggs.
APOC: Or a bowl of snot.
DOZER: Or elephant vomit.
TRINITY: Or fish excrement.
NEO: Wow, that makes it sound so much more APPEALING. (sarcastically) Hey, Tank, gimme three more bowls!
TANK: Coming right up! *quickly fills up three more bowls and gives them to Neo*
NEO: Yeah, it's called SARCASM.
TRINITY: No, when you're being sarcastic around Tank you have to use HTML tags.
TANK: *nods* It's the only thing I can understand…
TRINITY: Watch. sarcasm Hey, Tank, gimme three more bowls! /sarcasm
TANK: *laughs* You're SUCH a RIOT, Trinity!
NEO: Oh, that makes so much sense now…
TANK: Yes, it does!
NEO: I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!
MOUSE: Uh, guys? This is kinda, you know, my scene. Where I ACTUALLY get to SAY stuff. So PLEASE SHUT YOUR NOISE TUBES, TACO HUMANS!
THESHIZ: AMEN!
MOUSE: Thank you. It reminds me of…TASTEE WHEAT!
THESHIZ: *cheers loudly*
MOUSE: Did you ever eat Tastee Wheat?
SWITCH: No, and technically, neither did you.
MOUSE: HEY, I was TALKING to NEO! So, Neo, have you ever had Tastee Wheat?
NEO: No, and technically, neither did you.
MOUSE: You're just saying that because Switch said it, aren't you?
NEO: You bet.
MOUSE: Well, you know what? That was EXACTLY my point.
NEO: Old men don't bother making points.
MOUSE: I'm NOT old.
NEO: Oh, right. Continue on your rant about food.
MOUSE: Yay! See, you gotta wonder…how do the machines know what Tastee Wheat tasted like? Maybe they got it wrong. Maybe what I think Tastee Wheat tasted like actually tasted…
NEO'S BRAIN: Okay, I'm lost. Why does he care? It doesn't matter what stuff REALLY tasted like because what the things REALLY tasted like were made up by the machines themselves, so technically they COULDN'T have gotten it wrong….God, I'm starting to SOUND like him…it's contagious! Ahhhh!!!
MOUSE: Fish. And that makes you wonder…
NEO'S BRAIN: Man, what is WITH this kid? Everything makes him wonder about something else, it's like a nuclear chain reaction that gets worse and worse until people start falling asleep…then again, all of Morpheus's speeches are like that…
MOUSE: Maybe they didn't know what to make chicken taste like, and that's why everything tastes like chicken. And maybe they couldn't figure out…
APOC: Shut up, Mouse.
NEO'S BRAIN: Thank God. I mean…Apoc.
THESHIZ: Oh, you just did not…
APOC: Yes, I BELIEVE I DID.
THESHIZ: Ooohh, it's ON now.
APOC: Let's take this OUTSIDE.
THESHIZ: Let's NOT, since we'll be killed by SENTINELS.
APOC: Grr…
THESHIZ: HA!
DOZER: It has a lot of stuff that involves words that will show that I am very smart or reading directly from a teleprompter with words typed by Morpheus, all knowing God of everything…
MOUSE: *walks back behind teleprompter*
DOZER: …and also the one who wets the bed every night.
MORPHEUS: Hey!
DOZER: But at least Morpheus doesn't obsess over chicken and Tastee Wheat when no one really gives half a crap about Morpheus's boring speeches that put everyone to sleep. On top of that he Miiiiister Aaaaaaanderson, surprised to Tastee Wheat? Don't worry about that vase. It's like wiping your arse with cookies need love because there is no spoon.
NEO: *goes behind teleprompter* o_O What are YOU doing here?
(Morpheus, Mouse, Bane, the Oracle, the Merovingian, and Spoon Boy are all crowded around the teleprompter, trying to type)
NEO: I haven't even MET half of you yet!
ORACLE: *types something*
DOZER: Actually, that is two-thirds of them.
NEO: Stop it!
(Everyone grumbles, and the people who aren't supposed to be there magically teleport back to wherever they came from)
MOUSE: Hey, Neo, you know the lady in the red dress? I designed her and stuff, I'll say I'll arrange a more personal meeting but I really don't mean it; this is just to show how oddly perverted I am and the fact that you should not deny your impulses must be clearly stated so you and Trinity will have an excuse to…
TRINITY: *elbows Mouse*
MOUSE: OW!
NEO: We're gonna beat each other up?
MORPHEUS: Hey everybody! I've been mysteriously absent! Anywho, Dozer, when you're done eating your snot, come out here and bring the ship to broadcast depth. We're going in.
AUDIENCE: Great, that means most of them are about to die, doesn't it?
CYPHER: Yes…MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA *cough cough hack* HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
TECHNO SOUNDTRACK: boom boom tch boom boom tch I sound so cool….
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CUT TO: A PHONE!
PHONE: Phone go ring-ring, cow go moo! Piggy go oink-oink, how bout you?
TECHNO SOUNDTRACK: DAMN PHONE! Ruining my coolness…
MORPHEUS: *picks up phone*
PHONE: Mmph! Mmmmpphhh!!!
MORPHEUS: We're in. Haha, I sound so cool.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CUT TO: OUTSIDE
TRINITY: Ooh, lookit me, my outfit is all reflecty!
CYPHER: Ahh! I'm blinded!
NEO: I look like a dork! Or a priest!
SWITCH: I have orange sunglasses!
APOC: I'm not allowed to talk! *thinks* D'oh!
MOUSE: I'm mysteriously absent!
MORPHEUS: (to Apoc and Switch) We meet back here in an hour. Unless I have to give a speech. Then you can unroll the sleeping bags.
CYPHER: I'm EVIL, view me as I throw away my nifty cell phone!
MORPHEUS: Hey! I SAW THAT! Why are you throwing your phone away?
CYPHER: Wha? Ohh, that's not a trashcan, that's the…uhh…phone cleaner basket. Yeah, you put it in there, they clean your phone, then you get it back later.
MORPHEUS: Oh, okay.
CUT TO: THE CAR (THE CAAAAR! IT MOVES!)
NEO: I look out the window. Must look angsty. *makes face* No, wait, that's constipated…
MORPHEUS: Unbelievable, isn't it?
NEO: Not really, I've kinda lived here my whole life, durr. *looks back out window* God!
TRINITY: What?
NEO: *sighs* Trinity, I've been around you long enough to know that you are not God. So PLEASE stop answering for him!
TRINITY: *glares*
NEO: I used to eat there….*points*
TRINITY: *squints at sign* Noodlerama?
NEO: No, that place next to it.
TRINITY: McDonalds?
NEO: No, on the other side!
TRINITY: *squints* Wait, I have sunglasses, why am I squinting? *shrugs* So you used to eat at…Puppies-R-Us?!
NEO: Yeah, they made some good food there. Them dog biscuits was the best, darn-tootin'.
TRINITY: o.o *scoots away from Neo*
NEO: I have all these memories of my life…but none of them happened…
TRINITY: Sure they did, in your own little imaginary world.
NEO: Did you go to her?
TRINITY: What?
NEO: Actually, I was kinda thinking "who".
TRINITY: You just confused me, Mr. Rapidly-Change-the-Subject-Every-Five-Seconds.
NEO: So, how's your mother? Is she still alive?
TRINITY: Yes, I saw the Oracle.
NEO: COOL! What'd she tell you?
TRINITY: She told me…
NEO: What?
TRINITY: She told me…
NEO: What?
TRINITY: STOP IT! I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU BUT YOU KEEP INTERRUPTING ME AND IT'S PISSING ME OFF!
NEO: What?
TRINITY: Shetoldmenottotellyou.
NEO: Whoa, I missed that, you were talking too fast.
TRINITY: She told me…
MORPHEUS: We're here.
NEO: Well, EXCUSE ME, Morpheus, but I was TALKING to TRINITY.
MORPHEUS: *rolls eyes*
(Some unnecessary talking that someone doesn't feel like making long, involved jokes out of happens. Then Neo and Morpheus get into an elevator.)
NEO: So, uh…you come here often?
MORPHEUS: ….
NEO: So, uh…is this the same Oracle that made…the prophecy?
MORPHEUS: Yes. She's very old…blah blah blah…
NEO: Ooh, she's gonna be MAD when I tell her you called her old…
MORPHEUS: No, she knew I would call her old.
NEO: Aww, that takes all the fun out of it!
MORPHEUS: It does indeed.
(Again, laziness ensues, so they're walking down a hallway when they see a GIANT TEDDY BEAR!)
NEO: Aww, how CUTE!
(Unfortunately, the teddy bear is a rare breed of explosive bear. It blows up and everyone dies, the end.)
NEO: That's no fun!
PRIESTESS: What's all this damn racket out here? *sees Morpheus* Oh, hi! Morpheus, bug off, Neo, come with me!
(They walk some)
PRIESTESS: These are the other Potentials. I'll leave you here with all these weirdos so the most memorable quote can be said.
(Neo looks around. There's a kid reading, wow, and some little girls playing with blocks. You know, making them float in the air. Kinda like The Exorcist all over again. Then Neo sees the great, the wonderful, the absolutely weird-looking SPOON BOY!)
SPOON BOY: *hands Neo a spoon* Dunnot try and bend the spoon. That's impossible.
NEO: No, Mr. Spoon Boy, not impossible. Inevitable.
SPOON BOY: Riiight…try to realize the truth.
NEO: What truth? That you're obviously drunk? I mean, come on, could you talk any slower?
SPOON BOY: There is no spoon.
NEO: What are you talking about? I'm HOLDING IT! Besides, I used one to eat breakfast this morning in the REAL WORLD. I don't blame you for not knowing much, if your only friends are a bunch of SPOONS.
SPOON BOY: It is not the spoon that bends, only yourself.
NEO: Oh, so now you're calling me BENDY and remarkably FLEXABLE, HUH?! That's it! Bring it ON, biyatch!
SPOON BOY: That's not very nice.
NEO: Aww, is widdle spoon boy SCARED?
SPOON BOY: That's it! You're going DOWN, punk!
(Some really cool bullet-time kung-fu goes on. Of course, Spoon Boy is using spoons, so does that mean it's really spoon-time fighting?)
PRIESTESS: Well, since you two are so busy FIGHTING, I suppose the Oracle can wait…just don't keep fighting for a month, okay?
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A/N: Yes, that was a note to myself. Oh, and I have decided not to continue on with my Reloaded story yet because I'm [obviously] the kind of person who can't keep up with more than one story.
Reviewers! Thank you, especially if you're STILL reading this story!
Hobbit-eyes: Yep, pants. GO PANTS! Anywho, maybe I'll update sooner than I did with this time. Maybe I won't. I really hate school, didya know that? It's EVIL. EEEEEVIL I SAY!!!
Ergo-Visavis: wow, I love happy reviews! Go happy reviews! Yaaaay! Didya notice any Zim references? We must convert the poor, drooling masses to Invader Zim-ism!
mronimusha: Hey…I haven't checked on your fic in a reeeeeaaaally long time…actually, I read the rest of it last night but forgot to review! Must do it now!
The Farting Menace: Well, now this review is waaay old, but when I got it, I HADN'T seen Revolutions. But now I have. And anyone who says it's awful…well, who really gives a crap about them? Yay!
theshiz: Yeah, don't you hate it when actors take over your brain and talk to you during school? That's so annoying. And you have a cameo! How could anyone leave you out of Mouse's chapter?
BobTheMidget: You bet! Weird Al is the BESTEST! "And I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me. She said, 'hey…you got weasels on your face'". I LOVE Albuquerque!!!! The song, I mean…never been to the city.
alocin: Gappy! Sal! No, wait, I'M Sal! Uhh…yep, vegetarian weasel. I dunno, just was kinda like "CYPHER'S A WEASEL! A VEGETARIAN WEASEL! HAHAHA!". That's what my brain said.
PsychoticPhoenixFireKiarraTaki: Wow, that has to be the longest name I have EVER seen. Uhh…what to say…yeah, you're really random, I can tell. I think.
OrlandoBloomGirl: Thankee! Yay, I INSPIRED someone! If it's not up already, tell me when it is, and I'll go read it!
bubba: nope, don't have a recipe. Try drinking engine oil; should have the same effect.
Disclaimer: Lawyer repellent joke got old. So I don't own the Matrix.
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Chapter 13
(Cypher smokes. Bad Cypher, haven't you seen those Truth commercials? The scene cuts back to the Nebber, with Tank getting some nasty stuff from a soft-serve ice cream machine)
TANK *hands bowl to Neo* Here ya go, breakfast of champions.
NEO: Wasn't that Wheaties? Or some other cereal?
TANK: Who cares?
NEO: I don't! I get ice cream for breakfast!
TANK: Uhh…
NEO: Heeey….this doesn't look like ICE CREAM…
TANK: So, Neo, why are you wearing a hat that makes you look like the author's middle school band director?
NEO: Because I CAN, and my HAIR is sorta NONEXISTENT at the moment.
TANK: Cypher has less hair than you, and HE'S not wearing a hat.
SWITCH: He may have less hair on his HEAD, but have you seen his BACK?
TRINITY: No, what were you doing looking at Cypher's back?
SWITCH: I wasn't. Mouse told me.
(Everyone looks at Mouse)
MOUSE: *goes into flashback*
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
***FLASHBACK OF DOOM!***
MORPHEUS: Hey, Mouse, guess what?
MOUSE: What?
MORPHEUS: Chicken butt!
MOUSE: Aww, I ALWAYS fall for that!
MORPHEUS: No, really, guess what?
MOUSE: What?
MORPHEUS: We've just unplugged ANGELINA JOLIE and put her in CYPHER'S old room.
MOUSE: Really?!?!?!
(Mouse runs to Cypher's room and opens the door without knocking)
MOUSE: Hello, beautif…
CYPHER: (singing) Do do dooo, I just got out of the shower, dooby doo, and I'm singin' here nekkid…
MOUSE: AHHHHHHHH!!!!
***END FLASHBACK OF DOOMY DOOM!***
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MOUSE: Um…it's a long, involved story that we don't have time to get into right now…let's just say that's why my eyes always seem so abnormally large.
NEO: Ah. *looks down at his bowl* This is the weirdest looking ice cream I've ever seen…
MOUSE: Yeah, and if you close your eyes, it feels like you're eating runny eggs.
APOC: Or a bowl of snot.
DOZER: Or elephant vomit.
TRINITY: Or fish excrement.
NEO: Wow, that makes it sound so much more APPEALING. (sarcastically) Hey, Tank, gimme three more bowls!
TANK: Coming right up! *quickly fills up three more bowls and gives them to Neo*
NEO: Yeah, it's called SARCASM.
TRINITY: No, when you're being sarcastic around Tank you have to use HTML tags.
TANK: *nods* It's the only thing I can understand…
TRINITY: Watch. sarcasm Hey, Tank, gimme three more bowls! /sarcasm
TANK: *laughs* You're SUCH a RIOT, Trinity!
NEO: Oh, that makes so much sense now…
TANK: Yes, it does!
NEO: I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!
MOUSE: Uh, guys? This is kinda, you know, my scene. Where I ACTUALLY get to SAY stuff. So PLEASE SHUT YOUR NOISE TUBES, TACO HUMANS!
THESHIZ: AMEN!
MOUSE: Thank you. It reminds me of…TASTEE WHEAT!
THESHIZ: *cheers loudly*
MOUSE: Did you ever eat Tastee Wheat?
SWITCH: No, and technically, neither did you.
MOUSE: HEY, I was TALKING to NEO! So, Neo, have you ever had Tastee Wheat?
NEO: No, and technically, neither did you.
MOUSE: You're just saying that because Switch said it, aren't you?
NEO: You bet.
MOUSE: Well, you know what? That was EXACTLY my point.
NEO: Old men don't bother making points.
MOUSE: I'm NOT old.
NEO: Oh, right. Continue on your rant about food.
MOUSE: Yay! See, you gotta wonder…how do the machines know what Tastee Wheat tasted like? Maybe they got it wrong. Maybe what I think Tastee Wheat tasted like actually tasted…
NEO'S BRAIN: Okay, I'm lost. Why does he care? It doesn't matter what stuff REALLY tasted like because what the things REALLY tasted like were made up by the machines themselves, so technically they COULDN'T have gotten it wrong….God, I'm starting to SOUND like him…it's contagious! Ahhhh!!!
MOUSE: Fish. And that makes you wonder…
NEO'S BRAIN: Man, what is WITH this kid? Everything makes him wonder about something else, it's like a nuclear chain reaction that gets worse and worse until people start falling asleep…then again, all of Morpheus's speeches are like that…
MOUSE: Maybe they didn't know what to make chicken taste like, and that's why everything tastes like chicken. And maybe they couldn't figure out…
APOC: Shut up, Mouse.
NEO'S BRAIN: Thank God. I mean…Apoc.
THESHIZ: Oh, you just did not…
APOC: Yes, I BELIEVE I DID.
THESHIZ: Ooohh, it's ON now.
APOC: Let's take this OUTSIDE.
THESHIZ: Let's NOT, since we'll be killed by SENTINELS.
APOC: Grr…
THESHIZ: HA!
DOZER: It has a lot of stuff that involves words that will show that I am very smart or reading directly from a teleprompter with words typed by Morpheus, all knowing God of everything…
MOUSE: *walks back behind teleprompter*
DOZER: …and also the one who wets the bed every night.
MORPHEUS: Hey!
DOZER: But at least Morpheus doesn't obsess over chicken and Tastee Wheat when no one really gives half a crap about Morpheus's boring speeches that put everyone to sleep. On top of that he Miiiiister Aaaaaaanderson, surprised to Tastee Wheat? Don't worry about that vase. It's like wiping your arse with cookies need love because there is no spoon.
NEO: *goes behind teleprompter* o_O What are YOU doing here?
(Morpheus, Mouse, Bane, the Oracle, the Merovingian, and Spoon Boy are all crowded around the teleprompter, trying to type)
NEO: I haven't even MET half of you yet!
ORACLE: *types something*
DOZER: Actually, that is two-thirds of them.
NEO: Stop it!
(Everyone grumbles, and the people who aren't supposed to be there magically teleport back to wherever they came from)
MOUSE: Hey, Neo, you know the lady in the red dress? I designed her and stuff, I'll say I'll arrange a more personal meeting but I really don't mean it; this is just to show how oddly perverted I am and the fact that you should not deny your impulses must be clearly stated so you and Trinity will have an excuse to…
TRINITY: *elbows Mouse*
MOUSE: OW!
NEO: We're gonna beat each other up?
MORPHEUS: Hey everybody! I've been mysteriously absent! Anywho, Dozer, when you're done eating your snot, come out here and bring the ship to broadcast depth. We're going in.
AUDIENCE: Great, that means most of them are about to die, doesn't it?
CYPHER: Yes…MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA *cough cough hack* HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
TECHNO SOUNDTRACK: boom boom tch boom boom tch I sound so cool….
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CUT TO: A PHONE!
PHONE: Phone go ring-ring, cow go moo! Piggy go oink-oink, how bout you?
TECHNO SOUNDTRACK: DAMN PHONE! Ruining my coolness…
MORPHEUS: *picks up phone*
PHONE: Mmph! Mmmmpphhh!!!
MORPHEUS: We're in. Haha, I sound so cool.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CUT TO: OUTSIDE
TRINITY: Ooh, lookit me, my outfit is all reflecty!
CYPHER: Ahh! I'm blinded!
NEO: I look like a dork! Or a priest!
SWITCH: I have orange sunglasses!
APOC: I'm not allowed to talk! *thinks* D'oh!
MOUSE: I'm mysteriously absent!
MORPHEUS: (to Apoc and Switch) We meet back here in an hour. Unless I have to give a speech. Then you can unroll the sleeping bags.
CYPHER: I'm EVIL, view me as I throw away my nifty cell phone!
MORPHEUS: Hey! I SAW THAT! Why are you throwing your phone away?
CYPHER: Wha? Ohh, that's not a trashcan, that's the…uhh…phone cleaner basket. Yeah, you put it in there, they clean your phone, then you get it back later.
MORPHEUS: Oh, okay.
CUT TO: THE CAR (THE CAAAAR! IT MOVES!)
NEO: I look out the window. Must look angsty. *makes face* No, wait, that's constipated…
MORPHEUS: Unbelievable, isn't it?
NEO: Not really, I've kinda lived here my whole life, durr. *looks back out window* God!
TRINITY: What?
NEO: *sighs* Trinity, I've been around you long enough to know that you are not God. So PLEASE stop answering for him!
TRINITY: *glares*
NEO: I used to eat there….*points*
TRINITY: *squints at sign* Noodlerama?
NEO: No, that place next to it.
TRINITY: McDonalds?
NEO: No, on the other side!
TRINITY: *squints* Wait, I have sunglasses, why am I squinting? *shrugs* So you used to eat at…Puppies-R-Us?!
NEO: Yeah, they made some good food there. Them dog biscuits was the best, darn-tootin'.
TRINITY: o.o *scoots away from Neo*
NEO: I have all these memories of my life…but none of them happened…
TRINITY: Sure they did, in your own little imaginary world.
NEO: Did you go to her?
TRINITY: What?
NEO: Actually, I was kinda thinking "who".
TRINITY: You just confused me, Mr. Rapidly-Change-the-Subject-Every-Five-Seconds.
NEO: So, how's your mother? Is she still alive?
TRINITY: Yes, I saw the Oracle.
NEO: COOL! What'd she tell you?
TRINITY: She told me…
NEO: What?
TRINITY: She told me…
NEO: What?
TRINITY: STOP IT! I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU BUT YOU KEEP INTERRUPTING ME AND IT'S PISSING ME OFF!
NEO: What?
TRINITY: Shetoldmenottotellyou.
NEO: Whoa, I missed that, you were talking too fast.
TRINITY: She told me…
MORPHEUS: We're here.
NEO: Well, EXCUSE ME, Morpheus, but I was TALKING to TRINITY.
MORPHEUS: *rolls eyes*
(Some unnecessary talking that someone doesn't feel like making long, involved jokes out of happens. Then Neo and Morpheus get into an elevator.)
NEO: So, uh…you come here often?
MORPHEUS: ….
NEO: So, uh…is this the same Oracle that made…the prophecy?
MORPHEUS: Yes. She's very old…blah blah blah…
NEO: Ooh, she's gonna be MAD when I tell her you called her old…
MORPHEUS: No, she knew I would call her old.
NEO: Aww, that takes all the fun out of it!
MORPHEUS: It does indeed.
(Again, laziness ensues, so they're walking down a hallway when they see a GIANT TEDDY BEAR!)
NEO: Aww, how CUTE!
(Unfortunately, the teddy bear is a rare breed of explosive bear. It blows up and everyone dies, the end.)
NEO: That's no fun!
PRIESTESS: What's all this damn racket out here? *sees Morpheus* Oh, hi! Morpheus, bug off, Neo, come with me!
(They walk some)
PRIESTESS: These are the other Potentials. I'll leave you here with all these weirdos so the most memorable quote can be said.
(Neo looks around. There's a kid reading, wow, and some little girls playing with blocks. You know, making them float in the air. Kinda like The Exorcist all over again. Then Neo sees the great, the wonderful, the absolutely weird-looking SPOON BOY!)
SPOON BOY: *hands Neo a spoon* Dunnot try and bend the spoon. That's impossible.
NEO: No, Mr. Spoon Boy, not impossible. Inevitable.
SPOON BOY: Riiight…try to realize the truth.
NEO: What truth? That you're obviously drunk? I mean, come on, could you talk any slower?
SPOON BOY: There is no spoon.
NEO: What are you talking about? I'm HOLDING IT! Besides, I used one to eat breakfast this morning in the REAL WORLD. I don't blame you for not knowing much, if your only friends are a bunch of SPOONS.
SPOON BOY: It is not the spoon that bends, only yourself.
NEO: Oh, so now you're calling me BENDY and remarkably FLEXABLE, HUH?! That's it! Bring it ON, biyatch!
SPOON BOY: That's not very nice.
NEO: Aww, is widdle spoon boy SCARED?
SPOON BOY: That's it! You're going DOWN, punk!
(Some really cool bullet-time kung-fu goes on. Of course, Spoon Boy is using spoons, so does that mean it's really spoon-time fighting?)
PRIESTESS: Well, since you two are so busy FIGHTING, I suppose the Oracle can wait…just don't keep fighting for a month, okay?
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A/N: Yes, that was a note to myself. Oh, and I have decided not to continue on with my Reloaded story yet because I'm [obviously] the kind of person who can't keep up with more than one story.
Reviewers! Thank you, especially if you're STILL reading this story!
Hobbit-eyes: Yep, pants. GO PANTS! Anywho, maybe I'll update sooner than I did with this time. Maybe I won't. I really hate school, didya know that? It's EVIL. EEEEEVIL I SAY!!!
Ergo-Visavis: wow, I love happy reviews! Go happy reviews! Yaaaay! Didya notice any Zim references? We must convert the poor, drooling masses to Invader Zim-ism!
mronimusha: Hey…I haven't checked on your fic in a reeeeeaaaally long time…actually, I read the rest of it last night but forgot to review! Must do it now!
The Farting Menace: Well, now this review is waaay old, but when I got it, I HADN'T seen Revolutions. But now I have. And anyone who says it's awful…well, who really gives a crap about them? Yay!
theshiz: Yeah, don't you hate it when actors take over your brain and talk to you during school? That's so annoying. And you have a cameo! How could anyone leave you out of Mouse's chapter?
BobTheMidget: You bet! Weird Al is the BESTEST! "And I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me. She said, 'hey…you got weasels on your face'". I LOVE Albuquerque!!!! The song, I mean…never been to the city.
alocin: Gappy! Sal! No, wait, I'M Sal! Uhh…yep, vegetarian weasel. I dunno, just was kinda like "CYPHER'S A WEASEL! A VEGETARIAN WEASEL! HAHAHA!". That's what my brain said.
PsychoticPhoenixFireKiarraTaki: Wow, that has to be the longest name I have EVER seen. Uhh…what to say…yeah, you're really random, I can tell. I think.
OrlandoBloomGirl: Thankee! Yay, I INSPIRED someone! If it's not up already, tell me when it is, and I'll go read it!
bubba: nope, don't have a recipe. Try drinking engine oil; should have the same effect.