Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
"Ron, wake up," said Hermione, gently shaking Ron's shoulder. Hermione was three months pregnant and today was her first ultrasound appointment. Both Hermione and Ginny had decided to give birth with muggle doctors.
"Hrmph," grumbled Ron half asleep. "I don't wanna get up."
"You have to get up Ron. Today is our first doctors appointment," she replied.
"That's today?" asked Ron
Hermione made an audible sigh. "Yes, that's today. I told you about it three weeks ago, again a week ago, and twice I think yesterday."
"Baby, I'm sorry. I won't forget next time," Ron replied getting out of bed.
"Right, of course not," was all she said in response with a sad look clearly visible on her face. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Now honey, are you sure you want to have a muggle doctor deliver the baby?"
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Yes, I'm sure. Now keep your voice down before anyone hears you." Hermione and Ron were walking down the corridor of the maternity ward at the Sacred Heart Medical center in London. Finally they reach the receptionist desk.
"Hi," Hermione started. "I have a two o'clock appointment with Dr. Nagini."
The receptionist smiled at the both of them. She checked the appointment book. "Yes, Miss Granger?"
Hermione smiled back at the nice woman, "Yes, that's correct."
"Dr. Nagini is currently out of town on a family emergency, but his appointments have been taken over by a new doctor. You could see him or reschedule."
"Oh, well we're already here. We might as well see the doctor," said Hermione.
"Oh, are you sure?" asked the receptionist. Ron finally spoke up. "Why is the a problem?"
"Oh no, no, it's just that the doctor is a little nervous. Oh but he's very sweet."
"Well we're here, we'll see the doctor," said Hermione.
"Okay, well he'll see you in a few minutes.
The nurse showed Ron and Hermione into the doctor's office where he was having a phone conversation in another language. Finally he ended the conversation and addressed the couple. "Hello, welcome, welcome. I'm Dr. Lipinski. Please sit down," he said motioning to the two vacant seats in front of the desk. Hermione and Ron sat down and there was an awkward silence for a few minutes.
Ron was the first to break the ice. "So you're from Russia?"
The doctor nodded. "Yes, why do you have a problem with that?" he asked tensely.
Hermione smiled. "No, not at all."
Dr. Lipinski seemed relieved. " Good because at the hospital in Russia I was the head of obstruction."
"Obstruction?" questioned Ron.
"Abstraction?"
"Abstraction?"
"Obstetrics," said Hermione
"Yes! Obstetrics. If you'll excuse me, I'm just a little nervous. You see this will be my first human delivery."
"What?!?!" asked Ron and Hermione at the same time.
Dr. Lipinski laughed nervously. "You see, I was only allowed to work with animals at that hospital.
"Small animal?" said Ron incredulously.
"Really only rats."
"Oh my God." Said Hermione looking very pale.
"Okay, anyways I have written computer program lets me now when baby due. When was the first day of your last menopause?"
"Menopause?" asked Ron.
"Menstruation I think you mean," said Hermione.
"Oh, period," said Ron.
"End of sentence."
"Um I believe it was April 4."
"Okay, just give me moment. Ah yes. You're baby will be due January 11 and the baby was conceived on April 25."
"Oh, well that nifty," said Ron. Suddenly something dawned on Ron. Hermione seeing this asked Ron worriedly. "Honey, is something wrong?"
"I'm not the father."
"What?!? Ron, what are you saying?"
"On April 25 I was away at a game."
The doctor started to rise from his chair. "I'll just give you a moment to talk."
However Ron had already started to get up. " No that's okay, I'm leaving."
Hermione jumped up and blocked the door preventing both men from leaving. "No, you're not leaving. There must be a mistake. The doctor will just check the computer again."
Dr. Lipinski looked extremely nervous. He did not like being yelled at. "Ma'am I assure you the computer doesn't lie."
"No. No. Check the goddamn computer!" The doctor made no real attempt to move until Hermione and Ron both bellowed at the same time. "CHECK IT!!!"
"Okay, okay, please don't yell at me." The doctor sat back down in front of his computer. He started typing something and finally came to the problem. "Okay, I see now. There is one key for animals and one for humans. I had you down as a baboon. And you are not a baboon."
"No, I'm not," replied Hermione icily.
"Okay, you're baby," he looked up and pointed at Ron, "you're baby will be born on January 19. Okay, it is time for the physical examination. If you'll just follow me." The doctor led them to an examining room. "okay, if you'll just take off you're clothes. Oh, you're welcome to stay if you like," he said addressing Ron.
"Oh, I think I'll just wait," he started but Hermione tugged at his arm forcefully.
"Don't you leave me here with Dr. Whacko," she whispered.
"On second thought, I'd like to stay."
"Okay lets just work out a few kinks." He started pressing buttons on the examining table, which proceeded to go berserk. Finally he got the table to stop moving. He then looked up at Hermione and gestured toward the table. "Giddy up."
Ron and Hermione looked at each other in bewilderment. Ron whispered to Hermione, "Run."
Ron and Hermione were running down the halls of the maternity ward with Hermione saying adamantly, "That weirdo is not delivering this baby." They finally reached the elevator that could not come fast enough because the doctor was following behind them.
"Excuse me. You forgot you're purse!"
"Oh! Thank you." Hermione smiled trying to be polite.
"You have a small pussy."
"What!!!" Hermione exclaimed while Ron looked like he wanted to beat the crap out of him.
"You know, meow, and hiss?"
"Oh! You mean a cat?"
"Yes! A cat."
"We have a cat, why?"
"You have to get rid of it."
"What? Why?" exclaimed Ron.
"'Tis not good for baby."
"Crookshanks can barely move. What is he going to do?" "I'm sorry, it's the cat, or the baby." With that, the doctor walked away from the couple.
"We have to get rid of Crookshanks?" asked Ron in disbelief.
"Well, they can be harmful to a baby. I've read about it."
"Oh, you can't be serious!"
"What?"
"You know, ever since you got pregnant, our lives have become practically unrecognizable!" huffed Ron as he boarded the elevator. Hermione just smiled sadly, trying to hold back the tears as she too got on the elevator.
A/N: I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has reviewed. It is much appreciated. As always please review.
"Ron, wake up," said Hermione, gently shaking Ron's shoulder. Hermione was three months pregnant and today was her first ultrasound appointment. Both Hermione and Ginny had decided to give birth with muggle doctors.
"Hrmph," grumbled Ron half asleep. "I don't wanna get up."
"You have to get up Ron. Today is our first doctors appointment," she replied.
"That's today?" asked Ron
Hermione made an audible sigh. "Yes, that's today. I told you about it three weeks ago, again a week ago, and twice I think yesterday."
"Baby, I'm sorry. I won't forget next time," Ron replied getting out of bed.
"Right, of course not," was all she said in response with a sad look clearly visible on her face. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Now honey, are you sure you want to have a muggle doctor deliver the baby?"
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Yes, I'm sure. Now keep your voice down before anyone hears you." Hermione and Ron were walking down the corridor of the maternity ward at the Sacred Heart Medical center in London. Finally they reach the receptionist desk.
"Hi," Hermione started. "I have a two o'clock appointment with Dr. Nagini."
The receptionist smiled at the both of them. She checked the appointment book. "Yes, Miss Granger?"
Hermione smiled back at the nice woman, "Yes, that's correct."
"Dr. Nagini is currently out of town on a family emergency, but his appointments have been taken over by a new doctor. You could see him or reschedule."
"Oh, well we're already here. We might as well see the doctor," said Hermione.
"Oh, are you sure?" asked the receptionist. Ron finally spoke up. "Why is the a problem?"
"Oh no, no, it's just that the doctor is a little nervous. Oh but he's very sweet."
"Well we're here, we'll see the doctor," said Hermione.
"Okay, well he'll see you in a few minutes.
The nurse showed Ron and Hermione into the doctor's office where he was having a phone conversation in another language. Finally he ended the conversation and addressed the couple. "Hello, welcome, welcome. I'm Dr. Lipinski. Please sit down," he said motioning to the two vacant seats in front of the desk. Hermione and Ron sat down and there was an awkward silence for a few minutes.
Ron was the first to break the ice. "So you're from Russia?"
The doctor nodded. "Yes, why do you have a problem with that?" he asked tensely.
Hermione smiled. "No, not at all."
Dr. Lipinski seemed relieved. " Good because at the hospital in Russia I was the head of obstruction."
"Obstruction?" questioned Ron.
"Abstraction?"
"Abstraction?"
"Obstetrics," said Hermione
"Yes! Obstetrics. If you'll excuse me, I'm just a little nervous. You see this will be my first human delivery."
"What?!?!" asked Ron and Hermione at the same time.
Dr. Lipinski laughed nervously. "You see, I was only allowed to work with animals at that hospital.
"Small animal?" said Ron incredulously.
"Really only rats."
"Oh my God." Said Hermione looking very pale.
"Okay, anyways I have written computer program lets me now when baby due. When was the first day of your last menopause?"
"Menopause?" asked Ron.
"Menstruation I think you mean," said Hermione.
"Oh, period," said Ron.
"End of sentence."
"Um I believe it was April 4."
"Okay, just give me moment. Ah yes. You're baby will be due January 11 and the baby was conceived on April 25."
"Oh, well that nifty," said Ron. Suddenly something dawned on Ron. Hermione seeing this asked Ron worriedly. "Honey, is something wrong?"
"I'm not the father."
"What?!? Ron, what are you saying?"
"On April 25 I was away at a game."
The doctor started to rise from his chair. "I'll just give you a moment to talk."
However Ron had already started to get up. " No that's okay, I'm leaving."
Hermione jumped up and blocked the door preventing both men from leaving. "No, you're not leaving. There must be a mistake. The doctor will just check the computer again."
Dr. Lipinski looked extremely nervous. He did not like being yelled at. "Ma'am I assure you the computer doesn't lie."
"No. No. Check the goddamn computer!" The doctor made no real attempt to move until Hermione and Ron both bellowed at the same time. "CHECK IT!!!"
"Okay, okay, please don't yell at me." The doctor sat back down in front of his computer. He started typing something and finally came to the problem. "Okay, I see now. There is one key for animals and one for humans. I had you down as a baboon. And you are not a baboon."
"No, I'm not," replied Hermione icily.
"Okay, you're baby," he looked up and pointed at Ron, "you're baby will be born on January 19. Okay, it is time for the physical examination. If you'll just follow me." The doctor led them to an examining room. "okay, if you'll just take off you're clothes. Oh, you're welcome to stay if you like," he said addressing Ron.
"Oh, I think I'll just wait," he started but Hermione tugged at his arm forcefully.
"Don't you leave me here with Dr. Whacko," she whispered.
"On second thought, I'd like to stay."
"Okay lets just work out a few kinks." He started pressing buttons on the examining table, which proceeded to go berserk. Finally he got the table to stop moving. He then looked up at Hermione and gestured toward the table. "Giddy up."
Ron and Hermione looked at each other in bewilderment. Ron whispered to Hermione, "Run."
Ron and Hermione were running down the halls of the maternity ward with Hermione saying adamantly, "That weirdo is not delivering this baby." They finally reached the elevator that could not come fast enough because the doctor was following behind them.
"Excuse me. You forgot you're purse!"
"Oh! Thank you." Hermione smiled trying to be polite.
"You have a small pussy."
"What!!!" Hermione exclaimed while Ron looked like he wanted to beat the crap out of him.
"You know, meow, and hiss?"
"Oh! You mean a cat?"
"Yes! A cat."
"We have a cat, why?"
"You have to get rid of it."
"What? Why?" exclaimed Ron.
"'Tis not good for baby."
"Crookshanks can barely move. What is he going to do?" "I'm sorry, it's the cat, or the baby." With that, the doctor walked away from the couple.
"We have to get rid of Crookshanks?" asked Ron in disbelief.
"Well, they can be harmful to a baby. I've read about it."
"Oh, you can't be serious!"
"What?"
"You know, ever since you got pregnant, our lives have become practically unrecognizable!" huffed Ron as he boarded the elevator. Hermione just smiled sadly, trying to hold back the tears as she too got on the elevator.
A/N: I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has reviewed. It is much appreciated. As always please review.