All the way through breakfast, Harry wondered about the change in Ron's behaviour. He'd come into the Common Room at about four o'clock in the morning – together with Colin Creevey – and while Harry felt as if he could fall asleep that instant and not wake up until the next morning, Ron looked healthier and happier than in a long time. Still there was the occasional yawn or a tired look in his eyes, but that was nothing unusual at breakfast. Almost everyone was only half-awake yet.
Harry shook his head. It was no use brooding over something he wouldn't find out. And after all, whatever had pulled Ron out of his self-destructing agony had done a splendid job. He was actually saying more than two words at breakfast, and Harry couldn't believe his ears when Ron started a conversation on their way to the dungeons.
He exchanged a look with Hermione, but she seemed as clueless as himself. However, he wouldn't start complaining now, so he just shrugged and was happy for Ron.
+~*#
Potions class was a disaster, just as always. Only it seemed worse. Snape deducted points for everything, and soon Neville was afraid to even breathe. Each time Snape came near him, he started to shake and even cut his finger while preparing the sage.
Snape cursed and took the knife out of Neville's shaking hand. "Ten points from Gryffindor for wasting valuable ingredients, Mister Longbottom. Let me see your hand," he demanded in an icy voice. Neville extended his hand. Snape pursed his lips and shook his head. "Now I will have to keep you away from knives as well," he murmured, more to himself. "Mister Finnigan, escort Longbottom to the Infirmary. I'm afraid he'd manage to get lost on the way," he said louder, followed by the sniggers of the Slytherin students. Snape pretended to not notice. "Everyone else, go back to work."
Hermione looked a bit worried but soon finished her potion, first of all, of course. It was a rather easy potion that would calm the person who drank it. 'God knows, Severus could use some of it right now,' she thought amused. 'But I wonder why he's in such a bad mood – well, worse than normal, anyways.' She watched her fiancé wander through the room, commenting on the students' potions. He wasn't even friendly with his Slytherin students.
"Finished, Miss Granger?" Snape's voice came from behind her. She nodded. She couldn't speak right now, or she would have a shaking voice. Everyone would think she was afraid but she couldn't really tell why she couldn't control herself in his presence.
'Why does he have to do that? Why does he have to sneak up behind you and then…' She broke off. Well, she didn't know about the others, but she wanted to turn around and kiss him, right there.
She tried to concentrate on her potion. By the colour of it, she assumed she'd done a good job. She smiled. She still didn't like the idea of taking her N.E.W.T.s early, but everyone seemed to think she was ready. But in her opinion, one could never study enough.
"Looks all right," he stated, taking a bit of the potion onto a spoon and letting it drop back into the cauldron. "Maybe we should send a bottle up to Longbottom. I think he could need it," he sneered, accompanied by Draco Malfoy's laughter.
Hermione rolled her eyes. Severus saw it and bit his lip to hide the smile that wanted to force its way to his lips.
'No,' he thought. 'I will certainly not smile while I'm teaching… I won't!'
+~*#
After everyone had finished their potions and handed a sample to the teacher, he dismissed the class.
"Potter, Weasley, Granger," he called after them. "Come here, I have to talk to you."
Exchanging curious glances, they went back to stand in front of the teacher's desk. Severus carefully closed the door and put a Silencing Charm on the room.
"I have to tell you something," he said seriously. "Dumbledore told me this morning." He took out a piece of parchment and handed it to Harry. "It's an excerpt of an official Ministry report on Lucius Malfoy's escape from Azkaban. Obviously, Pansy Parkinson visited Lucius quite often under the pretence of being his niece and somehow managed to smuggle a wand into his cell. He performed a powerful Illusion Charm and fooled the guards for two days. As soon as they discovered his escape, they sent out Aurors to capture him, without success so far. He was spotted near Glasgow yesterday morning. We think that he may be on the search for Pansy, but as he will not find her, he'll carry on with his plan alone. And soon, I guess. He wouldn't risk being captured before having his revenge."
Ron had blanched visibly, but his voice was calm when he asked "And what are we going to do against it?"
"Not much, I'm afraid," Severus sighed. "We don't know where he is; he could Apparate everywhere. We have to wait for him to make a move first." It was the truth and he hated it. He would rather stand up against Lucius in a Wizard's Duel than to wait for him to make a move. One single move from Lucius could be fatal.
"What if we use a Location Spell?" Hermione asked. "We could track him down." He felt proud. He couldn't deny it. This was the woman he loved. Hermione Granger, although terribly afraid (he could see it in her eyes and in the way she unconsciously put a hand on her stomach – as a gesture of protection), was already thinking of helping – with her knowledge.
"The Aurors already tried, but Lucius is skilled in more powerful and darker spells than they are. If he doesn't want to be found, he won't. Besides, you are safe as long as you stay in Hogwarts." Severus sat down at his desk, rummaging through a stack of papers, searching for the papers he'd prepared earlier that day.
"Yes, safe!" Ron snorted. "If I remember correctly, Hermione has been kidnapped from out of the dungeons and I disappeared in the middle of the Entrance Hall!"
Severus looked up shortly, but wasn't too impressed. He knew perfectly well that Hogwarts wasn't as safe as they all thought it was. The events at Christmas had proven that much. But directly after that, Dumbledore had ordered him and a few other teachers to increase the wards and put additional protection spells on the school. It was impossible to Apparate into the grounds (even the Forbidden Forest was now included in the Anti-Apparition-Spell).
"Here," he said, handing them each a piece of paper. "Those forbid that you leave Hogwarts' grounds."
"But-but I wanted to buy a new book at the next Hogsmeade weekend," Hermione protested.
Severus sighed. "I know, love, but you can't risk your life," he said, determined. He could see that there was something else troubling her, but he decided to talk to her later. "However," he continued. "I want you to be careful. If you see anything out of order, I want you to come to me or the Headmaster immediately."
They nodded in unison. "Good, now go to class!" And he dismissed them with one last smile towards Hermione.
+~*#
It was still strange for Ron to hear Snape call Hermione 'love'. And most of all, his voice was smooth and gentle, something he wasn't used to coming from Snape. He shrugged inwardly. It was too late to complain now, wasn't it?
Hermione rushed off to Arithmancy while he and Harry made their way towards the North Tower. As their neared their destination, Harry made a face.
"What do you think? Which way am I gonna die this week?" he asked jokingly.
Ron laughed, although he didn't really feel that way. Harry didn't seem to realize that he could be dead when the week was over. Lucius Malfoy was free and on the hunt. What should keep him from killing Harry as well?
"Why couldn't we drop Divination?" Harry complained. He climbed the ladder to the classroom with an air of resignation.
Ron shrugged. Trying to breathe as little as possible, he followed Harry and prepared himself for a deadly boring lesson.
+~*#
Colin sat in Professor Binns' History of Magic class and yawned. It wasn't as if Professor Binns would notice, he was dead, after all. Colin thought it was oddly fitting that a ghost should bore his students to death with the subject.
While Professor Binns talked about the use of dragons and werewolves in magical warfare (something that sounded interesting – if it were to be told by anyone else), he thought about what had happened the night before.
He and Ron had kissed. A lot. But Ron felt… he really didn't know what Ron felt. He sighed. He knew he liked Ron – very much – and he surely would object if Ron wanted to repeat the previous evening's events. But what about Ron? He always seemed to be in love with Hermione Granger. What if he was in love with her, and because she didn't want him, he used Colin to get over it.
Colin thought about that for a few minutes. He didn't know if it was a bad thing. If Ron really used him… well, it hadn't felt too bad the day before. He sighed again. Of course, Ron probably (no, surely) didn't want a relationship.
At breakfast he hadn't so much as glanced towards Colin. He'd avoided his eyes and… 'Let's face it,' he told himself. 'He didn't even say Good morning.'
By the end of the lesson he had decided that he would make it as easy as possible for Ron and pretend that their kissing didn't even happen in the first place.
+~*#
Later that day, Severus stood at the window in his chambers, looking outside. The sky was pitch black, indicating that it was still cloudy so that no stars could be seen, and he could tell that it would rain later that night. But that was nothing unusual in early February. It was too warm for snow already.
"Severus?"
He turned around. Headmaster Dumbledore stepped out of the fire and dusted the ashes out of his deep purple robes.
"Did you tell them what we know about Lucius' whereabouts?" Dumbledore asked, turning towards Severus and looking out of the window as well.
"Yes," Severus answered. "I told them today, after class. I think Weasley was a bit shaken, but he looked better than the last seven weeks altogether. I don't know why."
Dumbledore smiled, a faraway look in his blue eyes. "Maybe he finally found someone he could open up to. Someone he could feel safe with."
Severus raised one eyebrow. Usually, when Albus Dumbledore got the special look, he knew something no one else did. In this case, Severus would have bet he knew who exactly Weasley could 'feel safe with'. "And why couldn't he feel safe with his friends?"
"Well, for once, Miss Granger was in the same situation. He may not have wanted to bring up bad memories," Dumbledore replied.
"Yes, she has nightmares sometimes about that night," Severus said, more to himself. This time, Dumbledore's eyebrows shot up. "She told me about it," Severus said defensively. When Dumbledore still looked sceptical, he added, "And sometimes she has nightmares and sneaks down into my chambers." Dumbledore sighed and nodded slowly.
"Headmaster, you know me. I promised I wouldn't touch her again until we are married, and I intend to keep my word," Severus said reproachfully, and also a little offended. He was Severus Snape and he hadn't broken a single promise he'd given Albus Dumbledore. To break his word would only mean that Dumbledore had been wrong all along in trusting him in the first place. And he didn't want that.
"Yes, Severus, and I trust you with this. I even trust Miss Granger with it. But you two have to be careful. As long as she is a student here and you two are not married, I'm afraid rumours could start if you aren't careful enough." Dumbledore looked worried.
"I know," Severus sighed. "But I can't simply say 'Sorry, Hermione, but I don't care if you are too afraid to sit in your dark room, all alone. We are not supposed to see each other at night!'. And I wouldn't!"
"I don't want you to stop your relationship," Dumbledore said. "I just want you to be careful."
He turned around to go, taking a bit of Floo Powder out of the metal box on the shelf next to the fireplace. "Besides, the problem of Miss Granger's being alone in her room will be solved in a few days. I will see you tomorrow at breakfast."
"Good night," Severus said, not really listening. His mind was somewhere else. In the blink of an eye, Dumbledore was gone and he was alone again.
He started to pace. Dumbledore was right. It was highly inappropriate for Hermione to go to his chambers at night. And if someone should see her… He didn't want to think of the consequences.
He sighed. There were two possible solutions. They either had to stop seeing each other for the next few months, or they had to marry sooner than they'd thought. Actually, he'd prefer the second solution. And he was quite sure Hermione would, too.
He'd just have to ask her. Again.
+~*#
"No, Hermione, you are not going there alone!" Harry tried his best to keep his voice from shouting. He only half managed it and some people in the Gryffindor Common Room shot curious glances their way.
Ron sighed. Harry tried to protect Hermione from everything since he'd learned that she was pregnant. It was almost as if he was the father – that's how protective he was. 'Well, I guess it's just the prospect of losing someone he's close to,' Ron thought. Harry had lost his parents, and two years ago he'd lost the only other family he'd had, his godfather Sirius. Now all he had left were Ron (and his family) and Hermione.
"But I have to study. I don't care if you don't even open a book before your N.E.W.T.s start, but I intend to go in there prepared!" Hermione shouted. A lot quieter she added, "I'm taking N.E.W.T.s in March, or did you forget? It's only a month, Harry. And I still haven't covered everything!" She crossed her arms in front of her chest and raised her chin. "There's no way you can keep me out of the library."
"But I can't come with you, I've got Quidditch practice this evening," Harry whined. Hermione rolled her eyes, mimicking Ron's expression. "And what keeps her in the Common Room once you've left, Harry?" Ron asked, a little amused.
"I… well, arrgh!" He let himself fall onto the sofa, where Ginny put her arms around him and kissed his neck. "Don't worry," she whispered. "Hermione will be fine, Harry. It's not as if there's something in Hogwarts we have to be afraid of," she said matter-of-factly.
Ron's glance wandered over to one of the tables where Colin Creevey was sitting. He seemed to be engrossed in his homework, because he was scribbling furiously and only paused from time to time to chew on his quill. He seemed deeply concentrated.
Watching Colin, Ron tried to sort out his feelings. He knew that homosexual relationships were far more accepted in the wizarding world than in the muggle world. After all, when a mermaid and a half-giant could marry (he'd read it in Ginny's copy of Witch Weekly), then two people of the same gender being in love weren't that spectacular.
But was he? In love? With Colin?
Or was it mere compensation that drew him towards Colin?
He studied the fine lines of Colin's face and the way his hair fell into his eyes when he bent down over his parchment. He was familiar with the look of a studying Colin, but this time it was different. This time he didn't only associate the clicking sound of a camera, the sound of Colin's voice shouting 'Here, Harry, look here!', the absent-minded gesture of chewing his quill or way he shoved his hair out of his eyes with it, but he also thought of Colin's lips, warm and full against his, he thought of Colin's hands, caressing his back and almost every other part of his body.
It was confusing.
But – he couldn't deny it – it was also arousing. He was glad that his copy of 'Quidditch Through The Ages' hid the bulge in his trousers from the views of the others. He didn't want to explain or even endure their obvious pretending they didn't see it.
'God, why does it have to be so complicated?' he asked himself. Why couldn't he just have a normal and totally eventless life? No, he had to face Voldemort and his Death Eaters, fight for his life almost every year and now he had to be aroused by Colin Creevey doing homework. The world was not fair.
'Back to the problem itself,' Ron chided himself. 'Am I or am I not in love with Colin?'
He didn't know. He had never noticed Colin before, not really anyways. He'd always thought of him as that annoying kid taking photos, the Harry-maniac with the camera, just another Gryffindor in his little sister's year. But he didn't have his camera any more, and he surely wasn't little. And he wasn't fixed on Harry any more. In fact, Ron doubted he had talked to Harry at all in the last year.
But Ron didn't know anything about Colin, or his life, or his family. He didn't know a damn thing about him. He didn't know if Colin preferred tea or coffee, he didn't know which Quidditch team Colin supported (hell, he didn't even know if Colin liked Quidditch – maybe he couldn't stand it), he didn't know if Colin hated spinach like almost everyone, he didn't know a thing about him. And it made him furious. He'd known him for six bloody years and didn't even know which sort of sandwiches Colin liked best. But then again, was the fact that he wanted to know all those things a sign that he was in love with Colin?
Ron snapped the book shut abruptly. It was just too confusing. He couldn't think straight. Hiding his erection with his robes, he stood up and walked over to where Hermione and Harry were still arguing a few feet away from anyone else.
"It's okay, Harry," Ron interrupted. "I'll walk her to the library. I have to check out a book myself. And before you ask: Yes, I'm gonna walk her back to the Common Room and watch out that she doesn't overdo it."
Harry looked relieved. "Thank you, Ron," he said, checking his watch. "Oh, God, I have to go. I'm late. The team is surely waiting already." He took his broom and rushed to the portrait hole.
Staring after Harry, Hermione said quietly, "Thank you, Ron, for clearing my way. You don't have to come with me only because Harry thinks it's necessary."
"I know," Ron replied. "But I do want to go to the library, really."
Together they made their way out of the Common Room and down towards the library.
"So, what is it?" Hermione asked after a few minutes silence.
"What is what?" Ron asked back, although he knew exactly what she meant. He just didn't want to talk about it, let alone think about it. That's why he had left, after all.
"You know what I mean," Hermione said and looked up to Ron. "Why did you want to go to the library? I know that you don't think of books all the time."
Ron nodded. "I wanted to get away from everyone else. I need time to think certain things over. And I don't think I can do that when there are people around who live their lives as if nothing had ever happened."
"But to them nothing happened. It's just us who know about it."
They reached the library and went inside. Madam Pince was sitting behind her desk, writing on a piece of parchment. She looked up shortly and nodded in their direction. Then she went back to her paperwork.
Hermione and Ron settled down at one of the tables far away from Madam Pince. Only a few Ravenclaws were in the library, and they were in the front. They wouldn't be disturbed.
"I just need some space to breathe," Ron said. "I can't explain it to you. I… Things are happening so fast that I don't know where to start thinking. It's just…" He sighed. He didn't want to talk about it. Not with Hermione, nor with anyone else. "Can't we just sit here and read? In silence?"
Hermione sighed. "Of course we can, Ron. But you know I'm always there if you need someone to talk to."
He nodded. Of course he knew. She only mentioned it in about every second sentence when they were talking.
Picking a book (Hermione picked seven), they settled down at the table and started reading.
A/N: So, I just finished this chapter when my friend MAIKE (she wanted to be mentioned by name) came in. She's reading the printed version.
I wanted to thank Maike for a few (or not so few) ideas and inspirations. She's utterly crazy (but so am I, so we match quite well). We decided on Hermione's child's gender (by throwing a coin). And we've decided if Ron should be really gay (this time by throwing dices). But of course I won't tell you yet (hehe).