A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update! I promise I won't take so long next time: I'd post chapter 9 now, but that would mean typing it, and as it's already 12 midnight the night before an exam, I really don't think that'd be a good idea. But it WILL be up soon! And a massive thank you to toomanycurls, who helped me get over my writer's block. As you'll see, I sort of took one of her ideas and ran, so to speak… anyway, read on!
Chapter 8
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We sat in silence in front of the fire, listening to the snap and crackle of the logs as they burned. I wanted to say something, to tell him how deeply I felt for him, but saying 'I'm sorry' just felt like the understatement of the century. There was no longer any doubt in my mind about his innocence: his story made sense, and it corresponded with what I had felt all along in my heart. But I didn't know how to say all of this, the words felt stuck in my throat. I gazed at Black staring fixedly into the flames, then I saw a single golden tear run down his cheek, catching the firelight and glowing like a drop of molten gold. I sat up, and after a moment's hesitation I put my arms gently around him.
"I believe you," I said quietly, hoping that in the simple words he could hear all that I couldn't find a way to say. He took a deep, shuddering breath and I felt the taut muscles of his back slowly relax as his head fell to my shoulder in relief.
"Thank you," he whispered, and I felt more than heard the extreme gratitude behind his words. We sat like that until the silence became awkward. Finally, he took a deep breath and sat back up, blinking his too-bright eyes. I gave him a warm smile which he returned hesitantly, as if he couldn't quite believe I was actually smiling at him.
"I really should thank you," I said, lowering my eyes. "It must have been hard for you to talk about all that." Sirius looked away quickly, blinking furiously.
"Yes, it was," he said tersely, his voice hoarse again. There were a few more moments of silence, then he cleared his throat and turned to me with a shadow of a smile.
"Well, now we've cleared up that little misunderstanding, how would you like to get rid of that hex?" I grinned.
"I'd love to." He pointed his wand at my legs.
"Finite incantatum." I wiggled my toes experimentally, then cautiously moved my legs. When I'd ascertained that everything was in working order, I stood up and stretched, groaning.
"Damn, that feels good. Thanks." I smiled my gratitude, but he didn't respond in kind. He was looking at me apprehensively, with a bit of feral mistrust like a dog that's been hit once too often. The grin faded from my face and I sat back down next to him.
"I won't betray you, Sirius," I said gently but firmly. He scrutinized me for several long moments, then the mistrust in his eyes seemed to give way to fatalistic acceptance. He smiled without humour and turned back to the fire. I sighed and stood up, picking up a blanket and wrapping around my shoulders.
"I'm going to make some sandwiches. Would you like one?" His head shot up, eyes slightly wiled, and I cursed myself for forgetting about the first time I'd offered him food. I winced.
"Sorry. I really mean it this time. Trust me." The feral look receded from his face, and he gave a small laugh at himself as he turned to face the fire.
"It's all right, I'm just jumpy. I'd love a sandwich." I went out to the kitchen and pulled a loaf of bread out of the cupboard. I reached for my wand to mix up some drinks before remembering that Sirius still had my wand. I decided to let him keep it for a while; he was obviously still having trouble trusting me, and it would make him feel more in control if he had a wand. I pulled some brandy out of the cupboard instead and poured us each a liberal dose. When I finished making the pastrami sandwiches (without magic, something I hadn't done in years) I returned to the fireside. Sirius had stretched out on the floor, and was deeply immersed in my book. I chuckled, and he looked up.
"There you go again. You can have that book if you want. I have another copy around here somewhere." He grinned, the first completely pain-free smile I'd ever seen him give.
"Thanks." I sat down next to him and handed him a sandwich. He demolished his food long before I finished mine, and started sipping at his brandy reflectively. I noticed him stealing a few glances at me over the rim of his glass, and self-consciously wolfed down the remainder of my sandwich. I'd thought his furtive looks had been aimed at my food, but even when the sandwich was long gone, he continued to watch me from the corner of his eye. Finally I felt compelled to say something.
"Do I have mustard on my face or something?" Sirius blushed slightly and looked away quickly.
"Sorry. I'm still not used to being around people. Sometimes I think if I close my eyes you'll disappear." I took a gulp of my brandy.
"Would that be a good thing or a bad thing?" I asked slightly bitterly, remembering what he'd said when we first met. Sirius looked up and caught my eye, his manner completely sober.
"It would be a very bad thing. I don't want you to disappear," he added softly. I was struck by the intense honesty of his words, and I broke eye contact, feeling out of my league.
"I don't want you to disappear either," I whispered, mostly to myself, though I couldn't tell whether he'd heard it or not. After an awkward moment I stood up, still grateful for my restored mobility.
"I think we both need some chocolate," I announced. Sirius smiled, clearly glad to be off the uncomfortable subject.
"Good idea." I went into the kitchen and grabbed the chocolate I always kept hidden behind my china and made my way back to the fire. When I returned, I saw that Sirius had conjured a few items of his own.
"What are these?" I asked, indicating the rectangular biscuit-like things that sat next to spongy white cylinders.
"It's a type of muggle food. These," he picked up a biscuit-thing, "are graham crackers. You put a marshmallow," he indicated the pile of fluffy things, "between a graham cracker and some chocolate and you get a smore."
"Are they good?" I asked, sitting down and handing him half the chocolate. He grinned.
"They're delicious. I saw some campers making them once and I stole one. Just wait until you taste it. Wingardium leviosa!" Sirius levitated several marshmallows and sent them into the fire, not so close that they burned but close enough that they were quite brown within minutes. Then he put the half-molten fluff on a cracker and topped it with a slab of chocolate. He handed it to me carefully.
"Watch out, it's sticky," he warned. I gingerly took a bite, then devoured the rest despite the burns the liquid marshmallow gave my tongue. Sirius was watching me with a self-satisfied smile on his lean face.
"Told you it was good." I licked my fingers as he consumed his own smore, envious of how he managed to complete the messy task without getting so much as a drop of marshmallow on his hands. We each ended up eating about five smores, and only stopped when our stomachs felt about to explode. Sirius lay on the hearth, holding his stomach while I tried vainly to get the last of the marshmallow from my fingers, face, arms, and hair. I heard a groan from the general direction of the hearth.
"I never want to see a smore again," moaned Sirius happily.
"You don't mean that," I said, smiling to myself.
"You're right, I don't." I rubbed my hands together, then tried wiping my face with a corner of the blanket.
"Have I gotten it off yet?" I asked. Sirius lolled his head around to look at me.
"There's still some on your cheek," he said, gesturing to his own face. I rubbed furiously at my cheek, then looked up at him again.
"Still there. Here," he crawled from his spot near the fire and reached up a hand to my face. He rubbed his thumb gently over my cheek until all the sticky residue was gone.
"Thanks," I said softly, meeting his sloe-eyed gaze. He smiled, but didn't remove his hand from my face.
"No problem." He leaned closer to me, his hand slipping behind my neck. All of a sudden, there was a loud knock on the door.