"X equals negative b plus or minus the square root of b squared plus four a c all over two a." The boy looks to Kenneth beside him. "That's it isn't it?"

"Why are you asking me? You're the maths freak."

"Kenneth," a sharp voice from the front of the room. He cringes.

"Yes Miss?"

"I appreciate there are only two weeks left of school but you still have work to do. No talking."

"Yes Miss."

The boy with him in the back row, Simon, grins into his textbook. Kenneth glares and continues his maths work.

~~~

"So, Kenny. We missed you this morning."

He sidesteps to avoid somebody, holding his books close to him. "I was late."

Simon flicks blond hair out of his eyes with another grin. "Should have known. Do anything on the weekend?"

"Jack shit."

"Hmm. You're chatty this fine Monday morn aren't you?"

Ken tries to walk faster but can't shake the other boy off.

"Did you fail an exam or something?"

"We haven't got our results yet, they only finished on Friday."

"I bet you did fail. I bet you well and truly flunked English and now you're ticked off."

Ken stops suddenly, moving in front of Simon. Ken is the taller, with black hair that defies any style and light brown eyes that - right now - flash in anger.

"Simon. Get your head out of the goddamn school sandpit. There is more to life than exams and quizzes and memorising the quadratic formula. We have two weeks and then our compulsory schooling is over. Over. We could be getting out of here and into the real world if we wanted to."

Simon frowns, "You're not leaving are you?"

Ken shakes his head. "You never did get the point."

"What point?" Green eyes return his glare. "What exactly happened to you to make you this much hell to be around?"

He steps back, turns away.

"I don't know. I have no idea."

Simon frowns thoughtfully as he follows his friend down the corridor to their next class.

~~~

"Morning boys."

A chorus of "Good morning sir."

"Seeing we've finished the year's work, we can now study whatever you choose, provided of course it's history."

"The weekend?" someone in the front row quips.

"No Robert, although I'm sure you did enjoy your's," Mr Duke hoists himself up to sit on top of his desk as people catcall and ask Robert how is girlfriend is doing. "Simon, what would you like to study?"

Ken smiles faintly as Simon fidgets. "Umm, last holidays sir?"

There is a ripple of laughter and Mr Duke gives an indulgent smile. "Is there anyone who actually wants to work today?"

"No sir," Simon looks around for support. The other boys grin. "I don't think there is."

Ken rests his head on his folded arms, letting himself relax as Mr Duke gives up and the boys begin to talk amongst themselves. The sleep he missed out on over the last week and weekend creeps up behind him, covering his eyes with shadowy fingers . . .

The light through his eyelids is the colour of blood, murky and deep. His breathing is loud, and slow. Warmth all around him, comforting. Relax, relax . . . just sink and float in this dream, float as comfortable and safe as a baby in a womb. Keep your eyes closed so you won't wake up and ruin this feeling of being safe and snug and secure and warm . . . so warm. Ignore the feeling of being underwater. Ignore the touch as if of snakes coiling around and all over you. Ignore the way you want to gag at the long cable that reaches into your mouth and down your throat, providing air to your lungs as you float in this thick warmth that isn't water and feels more like blood flesh bone liquefied and warmed and pumped into around and through you until it suffocates you!

He opens his eyes and jerks upright with a start, breathing fast. Nobody notices but Simon in the back row beside him, always beside him.

"Kenny, you alright?" Simon's voice, concerned and quiet. Kenneth stares ahead of him, filling his eyes with the sight of his classmates, the humdrum normal-ness of the classroom. There, Robert talking to Mr Duke about what movie he saw with his girlfriend, Adam next to him making jokes about how it's a surprise Robert saw any of the movie at all. Travis, Matthew, Nick, David, all the normal boring teenage boys he sees every single day.

Normal. Everything's normal. It wasn't real -

(oh yes it was)

- it was just a dream -

(this is a dream Kenneth)

- nothing to be afraid of -

(the real world is terrifying. admit it Kenneth, you're terrified now)

"Ken? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine Simon. I'm fine."

~~~

20 November 2005

I had the weirdest of daydreams today . . .