CHAPTER 21
Rachel found John leaning moodily against the hired car. He glared at her when she appeared, and snatched the keys out of her hand.
"Did you have a nice chat with him?" he snapped, clipping up his seatbelt, and starting the engine, revving it unnecessarily.
"Well I didn't storm out rudely, if that's what you mean," she replied, fastening her own seatbelt. "I felt that you did that sufficiently well for the both of us."
"I thought you were behind me," he said, throwing the car into reverse, and squealing the tires.
"You left so quickly, I had no chance to catch up," she replied evenly, "And if you are going to drive like a maniac, pull over and let me do it, I have no desire to be killed because you are in a mood."
John sighed heavily, but the rigidity of his posture relaxed slightly. He glanced at Rachel quickly, then back at the traffic.
"Was I very rude?" he asked quietly.
"Oh yes, shockingly so," she replied, but with the beginning of a smile. "I don't think that poor girl on reception will ever get over it."
"I didn't mean to yell at her," he said, "But just being in that building made me feel."
His voice tailed off, and he bit his bottom lip. Rachel put her hand on his thigh, and leaned over towards him. "I think you were very brave, to even go in there," she said, and kissed him on the cheek. "How do you feel about it now?"
"I don't know how I feel, - angry, confused - more confused than anything," he said, pulling out of the parking space, and into the stream of traffic. "I can't believe I spoke to O'Doyle. I can't believe how much he seems to have shrunk, since I saw him last. He used to tower over me."
"Well, that was 15 years or so ago, you've probably grown some since then." Rachel said, continuing to rest her hand on his thigh, and tracing circles on it with her fingers.
"Well, if you keep that up, it's possible I may grow some more," he said, and she laughed, but kept her fingers circling higher and higher on his leg.
"We could always go back to the hotel for a while," she said suggestively. "Our room has a spa. I could give you a massage, get rid of some of that tension."
He smiled, for the first time since entering the office complex, and trapped her hand between his thighs.
"Stop trying to distract me, you'll cause an accident," he said. "Let's get this kid's party over and done with, then we can go back to the hotel and play."
"Promises, promises," she said to him, "I'll hold you to that. - Do you know where you are going?" she changed the direction of the conversation, looking around as he turned the car into an elegant street, with large houses, beautiful gardens, and lots of large trees.
"Oh yes," he said more soberly "I used to live here, don't forget. I know it only too well."
He pulled the car up outside of an elegant double-storied home, with lush green lawns and immaculate garden beds, and surrounded by a tall wrought iron fence, and large white gates. For a moment he looked at the house, biting his lip, and then drove forward up to the gates, which opened automatically to allow the car to enter.
The immaculate circular driveway swept up towards the front door of the house. There were several cars parked off the to the side. John pulled the car up next to one, and sat there for a moment, staring at the house, a faraway look in his eyes.
"I haven't seen this place since I was 11 or maybe 12," he said softly. "It hasn't changed all that much."
"Carolyn said there wasn't going to be anyone else here," said Rachel, in a worried tone. "I wonder who all these cars belong to?"
"Well not too many 6 year olds can drive," replied John, "So I guess the parents of the other kids maybe - or relatives. Carolyn's probably - hopefully. I don't want to see anyone who used to know me or my mother."
"Do you want me to take Molly her present?" asked Rachel. "I think you've been through enough emotional stuff today - I could bring Molly out here."
"I don't know," said John. "I don't know if I can walk in there."
"That's o.k. - just wait here, I'll go in and ." whatever she was going to say was cut off as a group of children came racing around from the back of the house, chasing a small puppy, and shouting. Leading the pack was Molly, her pretty party dress covered in grass stains and what looked like chocolate cake, her hair ribbon trailing halfway down her back. She tried to grab the puppy, but it made a beeline for the shelter of Rachel's feet. Rachel bent down, and picked up the little dog, it wriggled in her arms, and started licking her face.
Molly careered to a stop, and recognized Rachel immediately.
"Oh you came," she said breathlessly. "This is my puppy, her name is Poppy. She is very naughty, and keeps running away. I got her for my birthday."
"Perhaps Poppy is a little bit scared by all the noise," suggested Rachel. "Maybe she should be put in her basket, and left alone in a quiet place, just till the party's over." She glanced over at John, who was still sitting in the car, smiling at her holding the wriggling puppy, which was trying to lick her face.
The rest of the children had caught up by now, and were crowding around, all trying to pat the puppy. Molly suddenly saw John sitting in the car, and turned to the little girl standing next to her.
"There he is," she said, "I told you I had a brother!"
John opened his car door, and climbed out. Molly ran around to his side of the car, and stopped a little way away from him. She looked up at him, and a slightly coy expression crept over her face.
"You look a lot bigger than you did before," she said shyly. Rachel laughed, and John smiled at Molly. "That's because I was lying down," he said. "I've got something for you," and he produced a parcel, beautifully wrapped and bound with a large pink bow.
She reached up for it, and then put her arms around John's neck when he bent down and gave her the present, so that when he stood up, she was in his arms. She looked down at her friends from her high perspective, and smiled widely.
"This is my brother John," she said to them. "He's a policeman!"
Most of the other five children were impressed, however there is always one. The biggest boy put his hands on his hips. "Well, if you are a policeman, where's your gun?" he asked, in a very disbelieving way.
"I didn't bring it, didn't think it was necessary at a child's party," replied John, apologetically.
"Oh yeah," replied the boy. "Where's your uniform?"
"At home," replied John.
The boy looked even more superior and disbelieving and with the air of one delivering a knockout punch - "What about your badge?"
John looked this child thoughtfully, and put Molly back down on the ground. He reached inside his coat pocket, and produced his FBI identification. The children gasped, and even the boy looked impressed. John put his i.d. back in his pocket and bent over to look at the boy in the eye. "You'd have to be Aaron?" he asked, and Aaron nodded and started to back away. "I thought so," said John, trying to keep his face stern, "I've heard all about you."
Aaron backed away even further. Rachel started laughing, and holding the wriggling puppy away from her face, turned to Molly and asked where Carolyn was.
"Mummy's inside with the grown-ups," replied the little girl, and she took John's hand, and started leading him towards the house, the children following, and Rachel bringing up the rear, still holding the struggling puppy. John had no choice but to go with Molly, and she led him through the front door, and into a large and bright entrance hall, yelling for her mother as she went.
"Mum - Mummy," she yelled, and Carolyn came out of the dining room, looking enquiringly at the crowd in her hall.
"What on earth are you yelling about Molly," she began, then saw John and Rachel.
"Oh, welcome, I'm so glad you came," she said, holding out her hands to them. "Shush Molly, you'll scare the puppy with all that noise. I told you to put her in the laundry and leave her alone!"
She reached out and took John's hand with one of her's and Rachel's with the other, and smiled at them. "Honestly, I have told her three times to leave the puppy alone. I can't take my eyes off her for a minute. And what does she look like - believe me half an hour ago she looked like a beautiful and sparklingly clean little girl. Now she looks like an absolute tomboy, I think she's been trying to climb trees in that dress!" She stopped and drew a deep breath, sending the children to the bathroom to wash up before starting to eat.
As she had been talking, she had been shepherding them into a large and lovely lounge room, which was open to the dining room beyond, where the table was spread with all sorts of wonderful looking party food. There were several people standing about the table, and they all looked up with interest as John and Rachel entered the room. Rachel could sense John tensing up; he was clearly uncomfortable and almost apprehensive.
Carolyn kept a firm hold on John's hand, however, and led him forward up to the group.
"I'd like you to meet my sister and brother-in-law, Fiona and Darryl," she said, and he shook hands with the older man, and smiled at the woman who looked a little like Carolyn, standing next to him.
They both looked carefully at John, and then Carolyn's sister smiled back at him. "You certainly do look like your fa." but Carolyn cut her off quickly, and introduced Rachel.
They were then introduced to another couple, whose children were at the party. All the adults obviously knew the background story because they were all very interested in John, and kept staring at him but trying to make out that they weren't. Rachel stood very close to him, and kept her hand clasped in his so he could feel her support.
Carolyn called the children to the table, and in the noise and confusion of the party, came over to John and apologized for the scrutiny.
"I wasn't expecting the grown-ups to show for another hour or so," she whispered to him. "I'm sorry they are here, I wanted you to feel at ease."
John glanced down at her, and smiled a little tentatively.
"I don't think I could feel at ease here, anyway," he said. "Now that I have seen Molly, Rachel and I will be going."
"I have something I'd like you to see first," said Carolyn, "Follow me." And she led them through the dining room, past a vast and beautiful kitchen, and into an informal sitting room, furnished with large, comfortable sofas, a large screen TV, and dominating the room a large fireplace, with pictures on the mantle, and all over the walls.
Above the fireplace, was a lovely portrait of Carolyn, Patrick and Molly as a little baby in arms, and there were more photos of Molly at every age, some large, others smaller all over the walls, except one. On that wall were just two pictures, and Rachel drew in a sharp breath when she saw them.
One was of an extraordinarily beautiful, very young woman, with long blonde hair, holding a newborn baby, smiling at the camera, the other was of the same woman, with shorter hair, still stunningly beautiful and leaning on her lap was a small boy, perhaps a little younger than Molly was now, with big blue eyes and blonde curls.
Rachel turned to look at John, who was standing and staring at the pictures as if he had been turned to stone.
"Blonde?" she said at last "You were blonde?"
John didn't speak, for a long time. Carolyn put her hand on his arm, and said softly "I never asked Patrick to take those pictures down. They have always been on this wall. I just wanted you to see that although your father was a tough and very hard man, he wasn't a murderer. He has always kept these photos of you and your mother in full view."
John took a deep breath, and tore his eyes away from the pictures. "You don't know the man she was married to," he said in a low and angry voice. "He treated her like shit. He caused her death, even if he didn't commit the act, which I'm still not convinced about." And he put both hand over his face for a moment, and struggled to get his ragged breathing under control.
Rachel glanced at Carolyn's stricken face, and indicated that they should leave him alone, and they both walked out of the room, and shut the door behind them.
"I didn't mean to upset John," Carolyn said to Rachel, "I just wanted him to realize that Patrick did once love his mother, and him, very much. I guess it was a stupid thing to do." and her voice trailed off. Rachel looked at her and discovered her eyes were filling with tears.
"No, don't get upset," she said to Carolyn, "I think once he calms down, John will realize what you are trying to achieve."
"He'll never get over this," said Carolyn, as tears started rolling down her cheeks. "I've ruined everything, I wanted him to realize that he is a part of this family, that he's never not been, if you know what I mean. He'll never want to speak to me or Molly again."
Rachel put her arms around her, and hugged her. "John will get over it," she said reassuringly to Carolyn. "He never can hold a mood for very long. Just let him have his little emotional moment, and he'll be fine - I promise you. I won't let him sulk for too long."
Carolyn smiled a little. "He's very angry, though," she said apprehensively, "I hope he can say goodbye to Molly. She will be hurt if you go without saying goodbye."
"Give him 10 minutes or so alone in there, and lets see what happens," said Rachel, and they went back into the party, after Carolyn had wiped her eyes.
"The other thing I'm a little worried about, is that my younger sister, Mary is due to come here soon." Carolyn confided to Rachel as they went into the room, where the children were still eating, laughing and talking at the top of their voices.
"Worried?" asked Rachel.
"Well Mary is different to Fiona and me - she's a little - she's loud and exuberant shall I say - and is very curious about Molly's long lost brother. She loves to tease Patrick all the time, and nothing bothers her. I shudder to think what she'll say if she turns up and you are still here! And of course, she knows about Christine Landers, - about Patrick and John being shot. She thinks the whole thing very exiting."
"Mummy - can we have the cake now?" asked Molly, appearing in front of them suddenly, and then demandingly, "Where's John? I want to show him my room."
"John will be back in a minute," said Rachel. "Then we might have to go."
"No," said Molly firmly. "I want John to stay for a while."
Rachel smiled at her, and asked if she liked her present.
"Oh yes," she said rapturously, "It's wonderful - Jessica doesn't have Stardust Barbie yet, nor Aimee, how did you know I wanted one?"
"John thought you might like one," replied Rachel, her eyes meeting Carolyn's for a moment above the curly head. "I might go and find John, and bring him back here so you can cut your cake," she said to Molly, and headed back to the other room.
When she opened the door, she saw John still standing in the same spot, still staring up at the portrait of his mother. She walked up to him, and slipped her arms around his waist hugging him tightly. She was glad to feel him hug her back.
"You o.k.?" she asked softly, and he looked down at her.
"Yeah," he replied equally softly, "It was a shock, and I'd forgotten how beautiful she was. I remember these pictures, it brought back a lot of stuff. I can't believe they are still up on the wall."
Rachel reached up and kissed him gently on the lips. "I love you," she said.
He looked at her enquiringly "What?"
"Nothing," she said. "Carolyn is really upset - she thinks you will hate her for showing you these pictures."
"It was a shock," he repeated.
"Molly wants to cut her cake, she wants you there," said Rachel, and holding hands, they walked back into the party room.
Molly flung herself at John, and grabbed his arm. "I'm going to blow out my candles," she said, "Then can you come and see my room?" she asked. "I want to show you my stuff."
Carolyn looked anxiously at John, smiling down at Molly, and heaved a sigh of relief, at which he looked up at her.
"It's alright," he said to her softly, "It was a shock - but it's alright," and Carolyn smiled again, even though her eyes were bright with unshed tears.
Everyone crowded around, as the cake was brought out, and the candles lit. Molly's eyes shone as they all sang Happy Birthday to her, and she blew out the candles to a chorus of hoorays, and a lot of flashing cameras. Carolyn started to cut the cake into small pieces. Molly grabbed John's hand and turned to her mother.
"Can I take John upstairs and show him my room?" she asked, and pulled him after her without waiting for an answer. "I've got all my dolls on my bed, and I've got some pictures of the pony that Daddy said he might get me. I told him I wanted a chestnut one like you had."
John followed the little girl glancing back as he left the room and raising an eyebrow at Rachel who laughed and blew him a kiss.
They were finally able to leave, after Molly had shown John her toys, her dolls, and her photos, and had each been given a piece of birthday cake to eat 'later'.
Molly clung to her brother for a moment, before he got into the car, and asked when she would be seeing him again. Rachel looked across at John and then suggested that perhaps Molly could come and stay with them for a few days in the holidays, if that was all right with Caroline, and after a final hug and kiss for John and Rachel, she let them get into the car and drive off, waving frantically from the verandah.
"Do you want to find a restaurant or go straight back to the hotel?" asked John, releasing the tension he was feeling with a huge sigh.
"Back to the hotel, please," replied Rachel. "We have some unfinished business there!"
John glanced across at her, and smiled.
"I couldn't have done that if you weren't with me, so I guess I have to thank you as well," he said softly, and Rachel squeezed his hand.
"Yeah, well I am pretty dam special," she said, "It's taken you long enough to realize it too!"
John laughed. "We have the whole weekend to enjoy," he said. "I have every intention of showing you how special I think you are."
"Promises, promises," she said once again, "Talk is cheap - you'll have to prove it to me!"
Rachel found John leaning moodily against the hired car. He glared at her when she appeared, and snatched the keys out of her hand.
"Did you have a nice chat with him?" he snapped, clipping up his seatbelt, and starting the engine, revving it unnecessarily.
"Well I didn't storm out rudely, if that's what you mean," she replied, fastening her own seatbelt. "I felt that you did that sufficiently well for the both of us."
"I thought you were behind me," he said, throwing the car into reverse, and squealing the tires.
"You left so quickly, I had no chance to catch up," she replied evenly, "And if you are going to drive like a maniac, pull over and let me do it, I have no desire to be killed because you are in a mood."
John sighed heavily, but the rigidity of his posture relaxed slightly. He glanced at Rachel quickly, then back at the traffic.
"Was I very rude?" he asked quietly.
"Oh yes, shockingly so," she replied, but with the beginning of a smile. "I don't think that poor girl on reception will ever get over it."
"I didn't mean to yell at her," he said, "But just being in that building made me feel."
His voice tailed off, and he bit his bottom lip. Rachel put her hand on his thigh, and leaned over towards him. "I think you were very brave, to even go in there," she said, and kissed him on the cheek. "How do you feel about it now?"
"I don't know how I feel, - angry, confused - more confused than anything," he said, pulling out of the parking space, and into the stream of traffic. "I can't believe I spoke to O'Doyle. I can't believe how much he seems to have shrunk, since I saw him last. He used to tower over me."
"Well, that was 15 years or so ago, you've probably grown some since then." Rachel said, continuing to rest her hand on his thigh, and tracing circles on it with her fingers.
"Well, if you keep that up, it's possible I may grow some more," he said, and she laughed, but kept her fingers circling higher and higher on his leg.
"We could always go back to the hotel for a while," she said suggestively. "Our room has a spa. I could give you a massage, get rid of some of that tension."
He smiled, for the first time since entering the office complex, and trapped her hand between his thighs.
"Stop trying to distract me, you'll cause an accident," he said. "Let's get this kid's party over and done with, then we can go back to the hotel and play."
"Promises, promises," she said to him, "I'll hold you to that. - Do you know where you are going?" she changed the direction of the conversation, looking around as he turned the car into an elegant street, with large houses, beautiful gardens, and lots of large trees.
"Oh yes," he said more soberly "I used to live here, don't forget. I know it only too well."
He pulled the car up outside of an elegant double-storied home, with lush green lawns and immaculate garden beds, and surrounded by a tall wrought iron fence, and large white gates. For a moment he looked at the house, biting his lip, and then drove forward up to the gates, which opened automatically to allow the car to enter.
The immaculate circular driveway swept up towards the front door of the house. There were several cars parked off the to the side. John pulled the car up next to one, and sat there for a moment, staring at the house, a faraway look in his eyes.
"I haven't seen this place since I was 11 or maybe 12," he said softly. "It hasn't changed all that much."
"Carolyn said there wasn't going to be anyone else here," said Rachel, in a worried tone. "I wonder who all these cars belong to?"
"Well not too many 6 year olds can drive," replied John, "So I guess the parents of the other kids maybe - or relatives. Carolyn's probably - hopefully. I don't want to see anyone who used to know me or my mother."
"Do you want me to take Molly her present?" asked Rachel. "I think you've been through enough emotional stuff today - I could bring Molly out here."
"I don't know," said John. "I don't know if I can walk in there."
"That's o.k. - just wait here, I'll go in and ." whatever she was going to say was cut off as a group of children came racing around from the back of the house, chasing a small puppy, and shouting. Leading the pack was Molly, her pretty party dress covered in grass stains and what looked like chocolate cake, her hair ribbon trailing halfway down her back. She tried to grab the puppy, but it made a beeline for the shelter of Rachel's feet. Rachel bent down, and picked up the little dog, it wriggled in her arms, and started licking her face.
Molly careered to a stop, and recognized Rachel immediately.
"Oh you came," she said breathlessly. "This is my puppy, her name is Poppy. She is very naughty, and keeps running away. I got her for my birthday."
"Perhaps Poppy is a little bit scared by all the noise," suggested Rachel. "Maybe she should be put in her basket, and left alone in a quiet place, just till the party's over." She glanced over at John, who was still sitting in the car, smiling at her holding the wriggling puppy, which was trying to lick her face.
The rest of the children had caught up by now, and were crowding around, all trying to pat the puppy. Molly suddenly saw John sitting in the car, and turned to the little girl standing next to her.
"There he is," she said, "I told you I had a brother!"
John opened his car door, and climbed out. Molly ran around to his side of the car, and stopped a little way away from him. She looked up at him, and a slightly coy expression crept over her face.
"You look a lot bigger than you did before," she said shyly. Rachel laughed, and John smiled at Molly. "That's because I was lying down," he said. "I've got something for you," and he produced a parcel, beautifully wrapped and bound with a large pink bow.
She reached up for it, and then put her arms around John's neck when he bent down and gave her the present, so that when he stood up, she was in his arms. She looked down at her friends from her high perspective, and smiled widely.
"This is my brother John," she said to them. "He's a policeman!"
Most of the other five children were impressed, however there is always one. The biggest boy put his hands on his hips. "Well, if you are a policeman, where's your gun?" he asked, in a very disbelieving way.
"I didn't bring it, didn't think it was necessary at a child's party," replied John, apologetically.
"Oh yeah," replied the boy. "Where's your uniform?"
"At home," replied John.
The boy looked even more superior and disbelieving and with the air of one delivering a knockout punch - "What about your badge?"
John looked this child thoughtfully, and put Molly back down on the ground. He reached inside his coat pocket, and produced his FBI identification. The children gasped, and even the boy looked impressed. John put his i.d. back in his pocket and bent over to look at the boy in the eye. "You'd have to be Aaron?" he asked, and Aaron nodded and started to back away. "I thought so," said John, trying to keep his face stern, "I've heard all about you."
Aaron backed away even further. Rachel started laughing, and holding the wriggling puppy away from her face, turned to Molly and asked where Carolyn was.
"Mummy's inside with the grown-ups," replied the little girl, and she took John's hand, and started leading him towards the house, the children following, and Rachel bringing up the rear, still holding the struggling puppy. John had no choice but to go with Molly, and she led him through the front door, and into a large and bright entrance hall, yelling for her mother as she went.
"Mum - Mummy," she yelled, and Carolyn came out of the dining room, looking enquiringly at the crowd in her hall.
"What on earth are you yelling about Molly," she began, then saw John and Rachel.
"Oh, welcome, I'm so glad you came," she said, holding out her hands to them. "Shush Molly, you'll scare the puppy with all that noise. I told you to put her in the laundry and leave her alone!"
She reached out and took John's hand with one of her's and Rachel's with the other, and smiled at them. "Honestly, I have told her three times to leave the puppy alone. I can't take my eyes off her for a minute. And what does she look like - believe me half an hour ago she looked like a beautiful and sparklingly clean little girl. Now she looks like an absolute tomboy, I think she's been trying to climb trees in that dress!" She stopped and drew a deep breath, sending the children to the bathroom to wash up before starting to eat.
As she had been talking, she had been shepherding them into a large and lovely lounge room, which was open to the dining room beyond, where the table was spread with all sorts of wonderful looking party food. There were several people standing about the table, and they all looked up with interest as John and Rachel entered the room. Rachel could sense John tensing up; he was clearly uncomfortable and almost apprehensive.
Carolyn kept a firm hold on John's hand, however, and led him forward up to the group.
"I'd like you to meet my sister and brother-in-law, Fiona and Darryl," she said, and he shook hands with the older man, and smiled at the woman who looked a little like Carolyn, standing next to him.
They both looked carefully at John, and then Carolyn's sister smiled back at him. "You certainly do look like your fa." but Carolyn cut her off quickly, and introduced Rachel.
They were then introduced to another couple, whose children were at the party. All the adults obviously knew the background story because they were all very interested in John, and kept staring at him but trying to make out that they weren't. Rachel stood very close to him, and kept her hand clasped in his so he could feel her support.
Carolyn called the children to the table, and in the noise and confusion of the party, came over to John and apologized for the scrutiny.
"I wasn't expecting the grown-ups to show for another hour or so," she whispered to him. "I'm sorry they are here, I wanted you to feel at ease."
John glanced down at her, and smiled a little tentatively.
"I don't think I could feel at ease here, anyway," he said. "Now that I have seen Molly, Rachel and I will be going."
"I have something I'd like you to see first," said Carolyn, "Follow me." And she led them through the dining room, past a vast and beautiful kitchen, and into an informal sitting room, furnished with large, comfortable sofas, a large screen TV, and dominating the room a large fireplace, with pictures on the mantle, and all over the walls.
Above the fireplace, was a lovely portrait of Carolyn, Patrick and Molly as a little baby in arms, and there were more photos of Molly at every age, some large, others smaller all over the walls, except one. On that wall were just two pictures, and Rachel drew in a sharp breath when she saw them.
One was of an extraordinarily beautiful, very young woman, with long blonde hair, holding a newborn baby, smiling at the camera, the other was of the same woman, with shorter hair, still stunningly beautiful and leaning on her lap was a small boy, perhaps a little younger than Molly was now, with big blue eyes and blonde curls.
Rachel turned to look at John, who was standing and staring at the pictures as if he had been turned to stone.
"Blonde?" she said at last "You were blonde?"
John didn't speak, for a long time. Carolyn put her hand on his arm, and said softly "I never asked Patrick to take those pictures down. They have always been on this wall. I just wanted you to see that although your father was a tough and very hard man, he wasn't a murderer. He has always kept these photos of you and your mother in full view."
John took a deep breath, and tore his eyes away from the pictures. "You don't know the man she was married to," he said in a low and angry voice. "He treated her like shit. He caused her death, even if he didn't commit the act, which I'm still not convinced about." And he put both hand over his face for a moment, and struggled to get his ragged breathing under control.
Rachel glanced at Carolyn's stricken face, and indicated that they should leave him alone, and they both walked out of the room, and shut the door behind them.
"I didn't mean to upset John," Carolyn said to Rachel, "I just wanted him to realize that Patrick did once love his mother, and him, very much. I guess it was a stupid thing to do." and her voice trailed off. Rachel looked at her and discovered her eyes were filling with tears.
"No, don't get upset," she said to Carolyn, "I think once he calms down, John will realize what you are trying to achieve."
"He'll never get over this," said Carolyn, as tears started rolling down her cheeks. "I've ruined everything, I wanted him to realize that he is a part of this family, that he's never not been, if you know what I mean. He'll never want to speak to me or Molly again."
Rachel put her arms around her, and hugged her. "John will get over it," she said reassuringly to Carolyn. "He never can hold a mood for very long. Just let him have his little emotional moment, and he'll be fine - I promise you. I won't let him sulk for too long."
Carolyn smiled a little. "He's very angry, though," she said apprehensively, "I hope he can say goodbye to Molly. She will be hurt if you go without saying goodbye."
"Give him 10 minutes or so alone in there, and lets see what happens," said Rachel, and they went back into the party, after Carolyn had wiped her eyes.
"The other thing I'm a little worried about, is that my younger sister, Mary is due to come here soon." Carolyn confided to Rachel as they went into the room, where the children were still eating, laughing and talking at the top of their voices.
"Worried?" asked Rachel.
"Well Mary is different to Fiona and me - she's a little - she's loud and exuberant shall I say - and is very curious about Molly's long lost brother. She loves to tease Patrick all the time, and nothing bothers her. I shudder to think what she'll say if she turns up and you are still here! And of course, she knows about Christine Landers, - about Patrick and John being shot. She thinks the whole thing very exiting."
"Mummy - can we have the cake now?" asked Molly, appearing in front of them suddenly, and then demandingly, "Where's John? I want to show him my room."
"John will be back in a minute," said Rachel. "Then we might have to go."
"No," said Molly firmly. "I want John to stay for a while."
Rachel smiled at her, and asked if she liked her present.
"Oh yes," she said rapturously, "It's wonderful - Jessica doesn't have Stardust Barbie yet, nor Aimee, how did you know I wanted one?"
"John thought you might like one," replied Rachel, her eyes meeting Carolyn's for a moment above the curly head. "I might go and find John, and bring him back here so you can cut your cake," she said to Molly, and headed back to the other room.
When she opened the door, she saw John still standing in the same spot, still staring up at the portrait of his mother. She walked up to him, and slipped her arms around his waist hugging him tightly. She was glad to feel him hug her back.
"You o.k.?" she asked softly, and he looked down at her.
"Yeah," he replied equally softly, "It was a shock, and I'd forgotten how beautiful she was. I remember these pictures, it brought back a lot of stuff. I can't believe they are still up on the wall."
Rachel reached up and kissed him gently on the lips. "I love you," she said.
He looked at her enquiringly "What?"
"Nothing," she said. "Carolyn is really upset - she thinks you will hate her for showing you these pictures."
"It was a shock," he repeated.
"Molly wants to cut her cake, she wants you there," said Rachel, and holding hands, they walked back into the party room.
Molly flung herself at John, and grabbed his arm. "I'm going to blow out my candles," she said, "Then can you come and see my room?" she asked. "I want to show you my stuff."
Carolyn looked anxiously at John, smiling down at Molly, and heaved a sigh of relief, at which he looked up at her.
"It's alright," he said to her softly, "It was a shock - but it's alright," and Carolyn smiled again, even though her eyes were bright with unshed tears.
Everyone crowded around, as the cake was brought out, and the candles lit. Molly's eyes shone as they all sang Happy Birthday to her, and she blew out the candles to a chorus of hoorays, and a lot of flashing cameras. Carolyn started to cut the cake into small pieces. Molly grabbed John's hand and turned to her mother.
"Can I take John upstairs and show him my room?" she asked, and pulled him after her without waiting for an answer. "I've got all my dolls on my bed, and I've got some pictures of the pony that Daddy said he might get me. I told him I wanted a chestnut one like you had."
John followed the little girl glancing back as he left the room and raising an eyebrow at Rachel who laughed and blew him a kiss.
They were finally able to leave, after Molly had shown John her toys, her dolls, and her photos, and had each been given a piece of birthday cake to eat 'later'.
Molly clung to her brother for a moment, before he got into the car, and asked when she would be seeing him again. Rachel looked across at John and then suggested that perhaps Molly could come and stay with them for a few days in the holidays, if that was all right with Caroline, and after a final hug and kiss for John and Rachel, she let them get into the car and drive off, waving frantically from the verandah.
"Do you want to find a restaurant or go straight back to the hotel?" asked John, releasing the tension he was feeling with a huge sigh.
"Back to the hotel, please," replied Rachel. "We have some unfinished business there!"
John glanced across at her, and smiled.
"I couldn't have done that if you weren't with me, so I guess I have to thank you as well," he said softly, and Rachel squeezed his hand.
"Yeah, well I am pretty dam special," she said, "It's taken you long enough to realize it too!"
John laughed. "We have the whole weekend to enjoy," he said. "I have every intention of showing you how special I think you are."
"Promises, promises," she said once again, "Talk is cheap - you'll have to prove it to me!"