***Ok, I'm going to apologize now. I meant this to be a one or two shot
fic, but I think it'll turn into something more. So, the first chapter, is
now a foreshadowing of the future. The next couple of chapters are going
to touch on how they got to that position. This is a new idea for a fic
for me, so please excuse the short chapters. Enjoy the reading though, and
please review.***
Dawn Summers' Journal Entry June 1, 2003
"Everyone is quiet. We left Sunnydale nearly a week and a half ago and no one has come out of the shock yet. L.A. is great and all, but we're packing up in a day or two to head to Cleveland. Thank God for Angel allowing us to stay at the Hyperion, there was really nowhere else to go to regroup. He and Buffy seem buddy buddy, but no lovey dovey, he even made a joke that made Buffy laugh. Something about 'cookie dough', I didn't get it. Buffy's went into a brood that must make even Angel jealous though. She is mourning, what else would anyone expect. My roommates, are all slayers, so they're no longer my roommates. I wanted to be around someone normal, so I now room with the also brooding Xander. Although it may seem odd that I sleep in bed with Xander, it all started simply to help. He shook at night with nightmares, and one night I slipped into bed with him and just hugged him. He, in his groggy state, mumbled something about the fight he was obviously engaged in, in his dream. He was obviously trying to save Anya, and knowing full well he couldn't. I held him for hours, until he finished the dream. His tears broke my heart, and as he woke, he broke it even more. He felt the arms around him and I unknowingly broke his heart as well. He whispered, "Anya, thank god that was a dream." When he realized it was me, he tried to backtrack realizing that I know I've caused him pain. But then, he stopped. He then commenced to sit straight up in bed and actually talk about everything that was hurting him. Then, the thing that'll stick with me forever, he thanked me for being there for him, even when he didn't know it. What he said next changed some things, he asked me to stay, sleep with him (not sexually), and keep him safe. So I have ever since. He doesn't know it, but I do so because, he keeps me safe as well. After I saw Sunnydale crumble, after the battle were I lost my friends and family, I need reasons to live. Now he's it. Spike would laugh and Anya would scoff at our current bedding arrangements, but both would understand. I just hope Buffy can find her reason to live now, cause just going on to Cleveland to fight and find slayers isn't enough. God, I wish everyone wasn't so damn quiet."
Xander Harris' journal entry 6-1-03
"After I lost Anya, this time for forever, I didn't know if I could go on. What in this world could prepare someone to lose someone you love, even when in our line of work we have to quite often. There's nothing I could've done, I know that, but my dreams don't. I didn't love her enough to marry her, but I loved her. She wasn't my forever, but she was more than a friend. Now, she's nothing but a memory. I dreamt of her last night, I could feel her presence. I fought valiantly against Bringers and vamps alike, but in the end, she still died. When I woke up, I found something amazing. Arms were wrapped around me, protecting me from whatever harm would come my way. I made the mistake of saying a name, the first name that came to my mind. I truly believed it was her. I whispered Anya. But it wasn't her, and the arms that held me, belonged to a beautiful lady nearly in tears. She knew that she had hurt me, while trying to protect me. She knew that I thought she was Anya. But, it didn't hurt me. I tried to explain that to her, but I could see it in her eyes. So, I told her everything. Told her of how I felt, and how I hurt, and about all the things I would have told Willow long ago. It's been along time since I've been able to open up to anyone like that. She's something special. Dawn doesn't even know how special she is sometimes. I want her to stay in that position, of holding me at night. That way while she thinks she's protecting me, so I can protect her. Because, the demons of our pasts are not going to take us now, I won't let them. She's enjoying my company, if not for anything else but the conversation. Everyone's just too quiet. And thinking of quiet, what was up with Broody boys joke about cookie dough?"
Dawn Summers' Journal Entry June 1, 2003
"Everyone is quiet. We left Sunnydale nearly a week and a half ago and no one has come out of the shock yet. L.A. is great and all, but we're packing up in a day or two to head to Cleveland. Thank God for Angel allowing us to stay at the Hyperion, there was really nowhere else to go to regroup. He and Buffy seem buddy buddy, but no lovey dovey, he even made a joke that made Buffy laugh. Something about 'cookie dough', I didn't get it. Buffy's went into a brood that must make even Angel jealous though. She is mourning, what else would anyone expect. My roommates, are all slayers, so they're no longer my roommates. I wanted to be around someone normal, so I now room with the also brooding Xander. Although it may seem odd that I sleep in bed with Xander, it all started simply to help. He shook at night with nightmares, and one night I slipped into bed with him and just hugged him. He, in his groggy state, mumbled something about the fight he was obviously engaged in, in his dream. He was obviously trying to save Anya, and knowing full well he couldn't. I held him for hours, until he finished the dream. His tears broke my heart, and as he woke, he broke it even more. He felt the arms around him and I unknowingly broke his heart as well. He whispered, "Anya, thank god that was a dream." When he realized it was me, he tried to backtrack realizing that I know I've caused him pain. But then, he stopped. He then commenced to sit straight up in bed and actually talk about everything that was hurting him. Then, the thing that'll stick with me forever, he thanked me for being there for him, even when he didn't know it. What he said next changed some things, he asked me to stay, sleep with him (not sexually), and keep him safe. So I have ever since. He doesn't know it, but I do so because, he keeps me safe as well. After I saw Sunnydale crumble, after the battle were I lost my friends and family, I need reasons to live. Now he's it. Spike would laugh and Anya would scoff at our current bedding arrangements, but both would understand. I just hope Buffy can find her reason to live now, cause just going on to Cleveland to fight and find slayers isn't enough. God, I wish everyone wasn't so damn quiet."
Xander Harris' journal entry 6-1-03
"After I lost Anya, this time for forever, I didn't know if I could go on. What in this world could prepare someone to lose someone you love, even when in our line of work we have to quite often. There's nothing I could've done, I know that, but my dreams don't. I didn't love her enough to marry her, but I loved her. She wasn't my forever, but she was more than a friend. Now, she's nothing but a memory. I dreamt of her last night, I could feel her presence. I fought valiantly against Bringers and vamps alike, but in the end, she still died. When I woke up, I found something amazing. Arms were wrapped around me, protecting me from whatever harm would come my way. I made the mistake of saying a name, the first name that came to my mind. I truly believed it was her. I whispered Anya. But it wasn't her, and the arms that held me, belonged to a beautiful lady nearly in tears. She knew that she had hurt me, while trying to protect me. She knew that I thought she was Anya. But, it didn't hurt me. I tried to explain that to her, but I could see it in her eyes. So, I told her everything. Told her of how I felt, and how I hurt, and about all the things I would have told Willow long ago. It's been along time since I've been able to open up to anyone like that. She's something special. Dawn doesn't even know how special she is sometimes. I want her to stay in that position, of holding me at night. That way while she thinks she's protecting me, so I can protect her. Because, the demons of our pasts are not going to take us now, I won't let them. She's enjoying my company, if not for anything else but the conversation. Everyone's just too quiet. And thinking of quiet, what was up with Broody boys joke about cookie dough?"