All right, I am bored and so am attempting to write a LOTR epic comedic
poem!
I own nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Some elves got this idea one day
To make some purty rings
They were shiny and so purty
Really wonderful things
There were three rings for the elven-folk
The dwarves were given seven
Mortal men got nine
(they'd broken two - it *was* eleven)
But this bad-ass guy named Sauron
Planned to make one for himself,
So he stole ring-making secrets
From a not-too-clever elf.
He made the ring in Mordor
In the fires of Mount Doom,
Where there's lots of smoke and lava
And volcanoes all go BOOM!
The ring was really evil;
It made lots of people die.
Its power could not be undone,
But some decided to try.
A bunch of men and elves
Marched to Sauron's own front door
Singing, "Your ring is way evil;
We don't like you anymore!"
Then they shot a bunch of arrows!
Every man and every elf
Killed a bunch of orcs. Since Sauron
Wouldn't come and fight himself
The big pansy. Then he DID come out
With a way big axe.
And then he found the king,
And he dealt him forty whacks!
Isildur did not like this,
Since the king was his dad.
He knelt beside his father's corpse
And started to get mad.
He picked up his father's sword
But then Sauron broke it.
But Isildur had a mind
And this is how he spoke it:
"Sauron, you reign is at an end!"
Isildur loudly cried.
Then he chopped the tyrant's hand right off!
Sauron blew up and died.
Well, it turns out that he did not die
Since to the ring he was bound.
And that dumb Isildur took it.
Until one day he was found
By a bunch of evil orcs
Who decided to attack.
Isildur tried to swim away.
They shot him in the back.
The ring sank in the water
And the film score turned real solemn.
It sat there for a thousand years
Till it was found by Gollum.
He took it in some caves
Where he liked to sit and stroke it
And then a hobbit came along
And Gollum wished to choke it
And eat it all right up.
But Bilbo Baggins had his Sting
They had a riddle match
Then Bilbo booked it with the ring.
Bilbo thought that it was just a ring
In truth there was none greater.
He took it home, which brings us
To the Shire, sixty years later.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Heh heh heh. What do you think? Worth continuing? Review and let me know!
I own nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Some elves got this idea one day
To make some purty rings
They were shiny and so purty
Really wonderful things
There were three rings for the elven-folk
The dwarves were given seven
Mortal men got nine
(they'd broken two - it *was* eleven)
But this bad-ass guy named Sauron
Planned to make one for himself,
So he stole ring-making secrets
From a not-too-clever elf.
He made the ring in Mordor
In the fires of Mount Doom,
Where there's lots of smoke and lava
And volcanoes all go BOOM!
The ring was really evil;
It made lots of people die.
Its power could not be undone,
But some decided to try.
A bunch of men and elves
Marched to Sauron's own front door
Singing, "Your ring is way evil;
We don't like you anymore!"
Then they shot a bunch of arrows!
Every man and every elf
Killed a bunch of orcs. Since Sauron
Wouldn't come and fight himself
The big pansy. Then he DID come out
With a way big axe.
And then he found the king,
And he dealt him forty whacks!
Isildur did not like this,
Since the king was his dad.
He knelt beside his father's corpse
And started to get mad.
He picked up his father's sword
But then Sauron broke it.
But Isildur had a mind
And this is how he spoke it:
"Sauron, you reign is at an end!"
Isildur loudly cried.
Then he chopped the tyrant's hand right off!
Sauron blew up and died.
Well, it turns out that he did not die
Since to the ring he was bound.
And that dumb Isildur took it.
Until one day he was found
By a bunch of evil orcs
Who decided to attack.
Isildur tried to swim away.
They shot him in the back.
The ring sank in the water
And the film score turned real solemn.
It sat there for a thousand years
Till it was found by Gollum.
He took it in some caves
Where he liked to sit and stroke it
And then a hobbit came along
And Gollum wished to choke it
And eat it all right up.
But Bilbo Baggins had his Sting
They had a riddle match
Then Bilbo booked it with the ring.
Bilbo thought that it was just a ring
In truth there was none greater.
He took it home, which brings us
To the Shire, sixty years later.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Heh heh heh. What do you think? Worth continuing? Review and let me know!