Aaarrgh, I got reviews! Holy shiznatch! A big thanks to you all! Time to
continue, hehehe!
Disclaimer: I actually *do* own Lord of the Rings. I also own the Disney Company (I got that by holding Walt's cryogenically frozen body for ransom). I also own Microsoft, and Bill Gates is my personal slave! I also own Easter Island! And I invented beanie babies! And I invented the internet! And, unlike the usual six degrees, I am within TWO degrees of every single other person on the planet! And I'm getting paid $500,000 for every word I type! LA LA LA! Those counted, too! They don't even have to be real words! Snix! Bleethil! It could just be random symbols and punctuation marks, too! % ? : # ! More money for me! And I have the entire cast of LOTR chained in my basement, and they WORSHIP ME! I AM THE NOBLE PLATYPUS, QUEEN OF QUEENS! LOOK UPON MY WORKS, YE MIGHTY, AND DISPAIR!!!
Real disclaimer: That first disclaimer was completely and entirely false . . . except for the Easter Island bit.
Real disclaimer (seriously this time): I own nothing but a bag of Ritz, which I am munching on as I type. And I just finished them. So now I have nothing. Nothing! *sobs*
On with the poem!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
There was a lad named Frodo
And he was a hobbit.
And if he had a cold and someone
Slapped him, he'd yell, "Stobbit!"
He liked to read big books
And hang out under trees
And wear brown pants that, for some reason,
Just went past his knees.
He lived in the Shire,
A lovely place, and green,
And was the hottest hobbit
That this poet's ever seen.
One day he was reading
When he heard some noise.
It was someone singing,
And he recognized their voice!
He leaped up to his feet
And ran down a grassy slope.
He dropped his book along the way
Because he is a dope
With no respect for literature!
But this we will ignore,
Since Frodo saw a horse and cart!
And then, what's more,
There was an old man on the cart
With a big hat on his head.
Frodo stopped and smirked at him.
"You're late!" Is what he said.
"A wizard is never late!"
The old grey man replied.
"And I saw to it that the last guy
Who gave me crap soon died!"
"Oh no, I didn't mean it!"
Frodo cried out in fear.
But the old grey man just laughed,
And his friendly side appeared!
"Well hey, it's great to see you!"
Frodo jumped into the cart.
"What is the outside world like?
How have you been, you old fart?"
Gandalf shook the reins
And they rode through the town.
"The world's the same, and no one knows
You hobbits are around,
Which is frankly, fine with me."
Gandalf said with some relief.
Then some hobbit-children chased him,
Every one with the belief
That he would burn stuff for their trouble.
At first, he ignored their pleas,
But they started to annoy him
So he burned a couple trees.
"YAY!" The hobbit-children cheered,
And danced around the blaze.
"Um, glad you're back, I guess,"
And Frodo ran off in a daze.
Gandalf continued up the lane,
Still hearing children laugh.
He reached Bag-end, went to the door,
And banged it with his staff.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Woo hoo for reviews!
Kath: YAY! Hehehe, I don't think I even told you about this one, did I? You are awesome! I keep trying to call you and you're never home! You call me next time! :P
Szhismine: Gee, thanks! *grins* So nice to see some of my old reviewers checking out my other stuff, even if I did kinda request it . . . ahem . . . *shifty eyes*
Nancing nobody: You aren't a nobody, you are a wonderful reviewer! I'll continue it!
ElvishNature: Yay, you too!! Thanks so forking much! I'm so glad you like it!
Lifidia: Wow, thanks! It r0x your s0x, eh? Hehe! This is the only epic comedic poem I have going on, but I have a nearly-complete mono-syllabic parody of Pirates of the Caribbean you can check out if you want! It's on my author profile thingy. Bad Guys of That Warm Sea Place! Bwaha!
Pearl-Brandybuck: You were my first reviewer! Go you! Thanks a bunch! :D
Review and I'll let you look at my Legolas cutout! I'll even let you touch it, but I'm afraid I'll have to charge you $1 per finger. That's a good deal . . . um . . . right.
~Platy
Disclaimer: I actually *do* own Lord of the Rings. I also own the Disney Company (I got that by holding Walt's cryogenically frozen body for ransom). I also own Microsoft, and Bill Gates is my personal slave! I also own Easter Island! And I invented beanie babies! And I invented the internet! And, unlike the usual six degrees, I am within TWO degrees of every single other person on the planet! And I'm getting paid $500,000 for every word I type! LA LA LA! Those counted, too! They don't even have to be real words! Snix! Bleethil! It could just be random symbols and punctuation marks, too! % ? : # ! More money for me! And I have the entire cast of LOTR chained in my basement, and they WORSHIP ME! I AM THE NOBLE PLATYPUS, QUEEN OF QUEENS! LOOK UPON MY WORKS, YE MIGHTY, AND DISPAIR!!!
Real disclaimer: That first disclaimer was completely and entirely false . . . except for the Easter Island bit.
Real disclaimer (seriously this time): I own nothing but a bag of Ritz, which I am munching on as I type. And I just finished them. So now I have nothing. Nothing! *sobs*
On with the poem!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
There was a lad named Frodo
And he was a hobbit.
And if he had a cold and someone
Slapped him, he'd yell, "Stobbit!"
He liked to read big books
And hang out under trees
And wear brown pants that, for some reason,
Just went past his knees.
He lived in the Shire,
A lovely place, and green,
And was the hottest hobbit
That this poet's ever seen.
One day he was reading
When he heard some noise.
It was someone singing,
And he recognized their voice!
He leaped up to his feet
And ran down a grassy slope.
He dropped his book along the way
Because he is a dope
With no respect for literature!
But this we will ignore,
Since Frodo saw a horse and cart!
And then, what's more,
There was an old man on the cart
With a big hat on his head.
Frodo stopped and smirked at him.
"You're late!" Is what he said.
"A wizard is never late!"
The old grey man replied.
"And I saw to it that the last guy
Who gave me crap soon died!"
"Oh no, I didn't mean it!"
Frodo cried out in fear.
But the old grey man just laughed,
And his friendly side appeared!
"Well hey, it's great to see you!"
Frodo jumped into the cart.
"What is the outside world like?
How have you been, you old fart?"
Gandalf shook the reins
And they rode through the town.
"The world's the same, and no one knows
You hobbits are around,
Which is frankly, fine with me."
Gandalf said with some relief.
Then some hobbit-children chased him,
Every one with the belief
That he would burn stuff for their trouble.
At first, he ignored their pleas,
But they started to annoy him
So he burned a couple trees.
"YAY!" The hobbit-children cheered,
And danced around the blaze.
"Um, glad you're back, I guess,"
And Frodo ran off in a daze.
Gandalf continued up the lane,
Still hearing children laugh.
He reached Bag-end, went to the door,
And banged it with his staff.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Woo hoo for reviews!
Kath: YAY! Hehehe, I don't think I even told you about this one, did I? You are awesome! I keep trying to call you and you're never home! You call me next time! :P
Szhismine: Gee, thanks! *grins* So nice to see some of my old reviewers checking out my other stuff, even if I did kinda request it . . . ahem . . . *shifty eyes*
Nancing nobody: You aren't a nobody, you are a wonderful reviewer! I'll continue it!
ElvishNature: Yay, you too!! Thanks so forking much! I'm so glad you like it!
Lifidia: Wow, thanks! It r0x your s0x, eh? Hehe! This is the only epic comedic poem I have going on, but I have a nearly-complete mono-syllabic parody of Pirates of the Caribbean you can check out if you want! It's on my author profile thingy. Bad Guys of That Warm Sea Place! Bwaha!
Pearl-Brandybuck: You were my first reviewer! Go you! Thanks a bunch! :D
Review and I'll let you look at my Legolas cutout! I'll even let you touch it, but I'm afraid I'll have to charge you $1 per finger. That's a good deal . . . um . . . right.
~Platy