"In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer."
-Albert Camus
Part Two of Three
The PregnancyAfter Summer's rape, it wasn't long before the gossip was making its way through Newport Beach. At school, people stared at her as she walked by. Even now, a month later, she could hear them whispering about her. Nobody besides Marissa knew she was pregnant yet, and she planned on keeping it that way as long as possible.
"Summer!" a familiar voice called, and Summer turned to see Seth hurrying towards her. She smiled.
After she was raped, she and Seth had gotten back together.
* * *
"Summer… oh, God, Summer… I'm so sorry."
"It's not your fault."
"I know, but…. How can I help?"
"You don't need to help, Seth. Really."
"My dad can help. Please, at least let me give you that."
"I… okay."
"If… if you're ready to get back together, I am, too. But if you want me to back off, I'll do that, too."
"Are you sure you want me? I'm dirty of rape."
"You shouldn't be the ashamed one. It's not your fault."
"There's more, Seth…."
"Oh? W-what else?"
"I… when we were on our break, I… um… this is hard."
"Just say it, Summer. I won't be upset."
"I… slept with someone else."
"Oh…."
"So I completely understand if you don't want to—"
"No. No, I do. Really."
"But I—"
"It's okay. I hurt you, and you needed someone. I understand."
"Are you sure, Seth?"
"Yes."
"So… what do we do now?"
"I guess we just start where we left off."
* * *
Of course, their reunion was before Summer had received her news of the pregnancy. She still hadn't told him, but knew that she'd start showing soon. There was no way that she could get an abortion, whether it was the rapist's or not. She had already talked to the doctor about it – it was physically impossible for Summer to get one.
She had something wrong with her reproductive system. A problem in which if she were to have an abortion, there was a large chance that she would die during the procedure. The safest bet was to let the pregnancy go its course. Her doctor had told her, however, that it was most likely that she'd require a Caesarean section.
A C-section would ruin Summer's shape forever, she presumed, but she wasn't stupid enough to think that some ninety-five percent chance of dying was worth an hourglass figure.
Her taut stomach was already becoming fuller, and Summer had stopped wearing anything too revealing of her midriff. Soon she'd have to wear baggy clothes, which would cause questions around school. After that, there really was no hiding it. But for every day that she hid her pregnancy from the world, it was one more day that she was hiding it from Seth.
* * *
A few days later, Summer and Seth were at Summer's house, studying. Or at least, they were supposed to be studying. Their textbooks and papers lay forgotten on the coffee table, while the two were making out on the couch.
Suddenly, Seth pulled back. "Seth?" Summer asked, her voice faltering. He usually wasn't the one who pulled back first, suddenly or otherwise.
"Are you okay?" he asked her, one eyebrow rising on his forehead.
"I could ask the same of you," she commented, still a little surprised from his sudden cease. She bit her lip, hoping that this didn't have anything to do with the rape. She had already been receiving so much support for it – not only from Seth, but Marissa, Ryan, the Cohens, and slightly from her stepmother – that she wasn't sure if her sporadic waves of nausea were from the pregnancy or the attention. The only break she got was from her father, who actually blamed her. What did you expect? You dress like a whore despite the fact that you're supposed to be my daughter. How does that look on my part? I'm supposed to be upholding a respectable family, here.
But for now, her father wasn't the issue. Seth was.
"I'm sorry, it's just… you seem so out of it lately. Summer, if there's something that you want to talk about, I'm here. You know that, right?" he asked, similarly chewing at his own lip. His unconscious habit was more from nerves than hope, though, as he was afraid for Summer.
Summer jumped from the couch, startling Seth. "Yes, I know that. But I'm sick of all this… this nonstop attention. Bigger things have happened in Newport. Nobody comforted me when my mom – my real mom – left, but nobody wants to leave me alone about this. I can handle this. I'm not an innocent little girl anymore. I can actually understand the situation that I'm in now, and I can figure it out on my own!"
"S-Summer, I—" Seth started, mouth agape. It wasn't unusual for Summer to go off in a rant or tantrum; these were what she liked to call rage blackouts. But this… this just didn't sit well with Seth. Something was odd about this moodiness she was having now.
"No," she said, whipping around with an outstretched arm, her index finger coming within an inch of Seth's nose, pointing accusingly. "I don't want to hear it. Do you think I like the stares? The whispers? I'm surprised they haven't started a Summer Roberts Support Club at the school. If I could have identified the rapist, maybe this whole thing would be over. But no. No, he had to wear a ski mask – imagine! A criminal who actually doesn't want to be identified! Not to mention the blindfold he put on me. You know that I'm just like those cops and detectives, with my X-ray vision that allows me to see through layers of fabric."
"Summer—" he tried again, but to no avail.
"Do you know the kind of questions they asked me?" she asked expectantly. "Well? Do you?"
Seth attempted to tell her that no, he didn't know, but all that came out of his throat was a dry, raspy crack. He settled on shaking hid head, and she immediately continued her spiel.
"They asked me everything. Everything. They didn't even give me very much time to understand the severity of what had happened to me before they started their interrogation. No, they started in right away. Did you see anything that could help identify him? What was his build? About how tall was he? Any distinguishable scars, birthmarks, moles? Did you manage to see what color his pubic hair was?" she spat angrily, though Seth could see the tears brimming in her eyes.
"His pubic hair. Like I can pay attention to his pubic hair when he's pulling me off of the street into a van, blindfolding me and gagging me, forging me into a sleazy motel room. Instead of spending all of this time trying to find hair fibers in the room – which it isn't a surprise that the Newport Forensic Team couldn't – they're shoving tape recorders under my nose," she sobbed.
He really didn't know how to comfort her. Just like her point, that the cops couldn't understand how she felt, he couldn't either. He lifted his hand and attempted to grasp hers, but she yanked away.
"I was so freaking disoriented that I'm surprised I could even remember the fact that it was a van he was driving. Which was found driven off the Edmont Pier yesterday, if I may add. Anything of importance was either washed clean or swept away by the water. See how slow they are, how long it takes them to find anything?" Her last sentence was so broken up by muddled sobs that Seth had to stop her.
He stood up, enveloping her in a hug. She tried to escape, but he wouldn't release her. With the hand that wasn't gripping her to him, he struggled against her own struggling body to pet her head: anything to calm her down. "Shh. Everything's going to be okay. They're going to find him, Summer."
"No they're not. They haven't found him yet. If they do, it'll be fifty years down the road when the statute of limitations has expired," she ranted. Stubbornly, she stopped resisting and let him hold her.
"I'm not sure that they have a statute of limitations when it comes to rape," Seth told her, but immediately after he said it he bit his tongue. He was supposed to just listen to her in a situation like this. He didn't want her to bite his head off again.
"I don't care," Summer snapped, attempting and managing to squeeze away from him. "I could go on and on about everything else that they'll screw up on."
Seth placed his hands together in what looked like a prayer pose, something that he usually would have partnered with something like "Thank you, ninja master." However, this time it seemed to be a go-ahead. "Yes. Continue ranting and raving. Ramble away, blabber to your little heart's content. If fuming about it is what helps you get it out, by all means, go ahead."
She just glared at him, an action – or lack of action, rather – that let him know that he had won for now, but it was still far from over. She resumed her rambling, though this time it was more Seth-like that angry. "I'm hungry. I'm going to get something to eat. Do you want something to eat? I'm going to make something."
"Uh… no, no thanks. I'll be right back; I need to use the bathroom," he said, hoping that allowing her to go to the kitchen alone wouldn't result in a crazed, butcher-knife-shielding Summer.
"Ew! You don't have to share, Cohen," she complained as she pushed past him. At least she's back to normal, he thought as he shook his head and made way to the bathroom.
* * *
Seth made sure the toilet seat was down, being a girl's house and all, and whistled as he washed his hands. From the corner of his eye, he noticed a small dish of chocolate mints further down the corner. He grinned. How weird. He took one of the green-wrapped pieces and unfolded the packaging.
He never second-guessed eating it. Summer knew that he liked to eat, and if she was really worried about it, she would have hidden the mint dish – along with any other candy, and possibly padlocking the refrigerator and cupboards shut – before he had arrived.
As he was dropping the remains into the small trashcan, however, something caught his eye. From where he was, it looked a little like a thermometer, but he didn't see why it would be in the trash. So, guiltily, he bent over and carefully plucked it away from the tissues and makeup-y cotton balls.
But as it neared his face, he was pretty sure that it wasn't a thermometer. And as he got it close enough to see the blue plus sign, he was dead positive… no pun intended.
* * *
"I got you some ice cream anyway," Summer was saying as Seth stepped out of the bathroom. "I knew you'd want some as soon as you saw me with it." Upon seeing the look on Seth's face, the look that made Summer feel that he was accusing her of betrayal, she stopped walking. "What's wrong?"
"Is there anything you want to tell me?" he asked. Summer didn't notice that one of his hands was clenched as if he was concealing something in it.
"I was all out of vanilla?" she offered, wondering what he was talking about.
"Summer," he said softly, but the crack in his voice was blatant.
The way that he said her name just then made her feel like crying. Now his voice matched the look on his face, that of betrayal and hurt. She felt a small tear start to roll away from her eye, stinging as it pushed past her eyelid. She blinked, trying to clear her vision. "Please tell me what I did. If I can fix it, I will. Please, Seth."
"Can you fix this?" he asked, throwing the pregnancy test indicator to the ground before her feet. Shocked and surprised, Summer let the bowls of ice cream fall from her hands, echoing a similar crack as the indicator had upon hitting tiles when she had taken the test. This time, though, the ceramic or porcelain or whatever it was that bowls were made of, which Summer didn't want to think about at the moment, shattered, sending sticky shards and spatters of ice cream in every direction.
She turned to run; she wanted to get away, go anywhere but there. He, being quick and swifter than her from all of his videogames and skateboarding tricks, grabbed her by the shoulders. "Summer. Just… explain, please."
She resentfully turned around, though her resent wasn't aimed at him. It was at herself for leaving the indicator in the trash. It's not like her parents were ever home enough to have seen it, and she surely didn't think that Seth Cohen would find it. "It's… it's my step-mom's. She's pregnant."
"Don't give me that," Seth said, almost growling. "Your dad and step-mom haven't been home for at least a couple months, and that," he said, pointing at the white plastic at Summer's feet, "has been taken recently. I'm not stupid."
Summer opened her mouth to say something, but Seth beat her to the punch. "Don't tell me that it's Marissa's, either. Summer… God, Summer… are you pregnant?"
* * *
"Is… is it mine?" Seth asked nervously.
Summer shook her head, the tears fully coming now, though her sobs were silent.
Seth swallowed hard. "So… it's the rapist's?"
Again, Summer shook her head. This time she was more hesitant though, and before Seth responded, he squeezed his eyes shut.
"So… there was someone else." He didn't open his eyes, even when Summer placed her hand on his knee.
"There was…. But, it doesn't mean it was his. It could be the rapist's, and it could be yours. It's just that you and I… we used protection both times that we… did it," she finally spoke up.
Seth arose from the couch, beginning a slow pace. "Who was it?"
"What?" Summer asked, fearing that he wanted to know whom else she slept with. She couldn't lie to him anymore, but she really didn't want to tell him about Parker, either. Knowing Seth, he'd go on some kind of rampage until he found the possible father of his girlfriend's baby, in which he would attempt to punch him out.
"Who was the other guy? I won't be mad. I just… I want to know who it was. I know that sounds disgusting, but…." he managed.
"Prerpreskit," Summer mumbled.
"What?" Seth asked gently.
Summer took a deep breath. "P-Parker Prescott."
There was a visible flash in Seth's eyes at that, but he remained calm. "So… do you think he's the father?"
"I don't know… I don't know. I don't want him to be," Summer told him honestly, watching him pace.
"But you're going to keep the baby, right? No matter whose it is?" he asked, not making eye contact with her.
"I have to. Medical complications prevent me from getting an abortion. I don't think I could actually go through with that anyway. It's so… unethical." As she said that, Summer realized that sleeping with Parker was probably really unethical as well, but she forced her way past the thought. "And I could never give it up for adoption."
"Who else knows?" Seth asked randomly.
Summer knew what he was doing. He was trying to see whom else she had already told, so he could get upset about her telling them first. Luckily, Marissa was the only person. "Marissa."
"Just Marissa?" Seth asked, uncertainly.
"Well, and the doctor, obviously. But nobody else," she told him, sincerity flowing through her veins and off her tongue. She really was sick of having to hide things from him, and unless extreme predicaments arose, she was done keeping him in the dark.
"You didn't tell Parker?" Seth asked. Summer could tell if the tone he used was sadness or disgust, but either way she didn't like it.
"Of course not," she promised.
"You should," he said, turning away.
"What?" Summer choked. "Why should I tell him? Why would you want me to?"
"Because he deserves to know that it could be his. If this situation was the other way around, and Parker was your boyfriend and I was your one-night stand, I'd want to know if I was a potential father."
"Wow… yeah, um… I should tell him. Will… will you come with me?"
* * *
"Oh, wow. You're… and it could be…." Parker stumbled through his words.
Summer bit her lip, looking from Parker, who was sitting on the sofa opposite her, to Seth, who was next to her on the love seat. "We just thought that it would be better if you knew. We didn't want to keep it from you."
"No, yeah, I understand. When… when will you be able to take a paternity test?" Parker stuttered.
"The doctor said that they have a procedure that I can have done before I actually give birth that can tell us who the father is. It's expensive, but I have to do it. We need to know. I can get it done now, but the doctor recommends waiting until the end of my second trimester or the beginning of my third. It's safer for the baby that way and a little more accurate, he said," Summer told Parker, but it was directed towards Seth as well.
"Well, I guess we'll just have to wait until then," Parker said nervously.
* * *
Summer's pregnancy went on pretty well, except for the aggravation she caused Seth with her cravings of ice cream, and on occasion, a certain flavor that could only be purchased at an ice cream shop across town. Seth eventually asked if he could buy a whole gallon of the stuff, and with hesitancy and curiosity, the shop sold it to him.
Summer's fifth month of pregnancy also coincided with graduation. There was no hiding her stomach now, and the graduation gown did her no justice.
By chance, because Payton Colson had decided to pass up the ceremony to get high in his backyard, Seth Cohen and Marissa Cooper were sitting next to each other. "Are you nervous about the paternity results?" Marissa asked lamely.
"She hasn't even taken the test yet," Seth muttered.
On stage, the principal was saying "Ryan Atwood," and Ryan was walking to accept his diploma. Seth and Marissa clapped enthusiastically, and Seth saw his father snapping pictures from the bleachers.
"I know," Marissa said once Veronica Baker was being called. "But she can, now. She was talking about getting it done next week."
"Really?" Seth asked, snapping his head to the side to look at her. "She didn't tell me that." He frowned.
"She was going to, really. She probably just didn't want to get you worked up before the ceremony, and all the chaos going on right now." Seth gave Marissa a long, skeptical look, but before long his name was being called and he had to walk away.
* * *
"Hello?" Summer asked, cradling the phone on her shoulder.
"Summer? It's me," came the reply, that of the last person Summer expected to be calling her.
"Anna?" Summer questioned, surprised.
"Yeah. Are you watching the news?"
"No… why?" Summer really hoped that Anna wasn't trying to pull something, because she really wasn't in the mood. Not that she thought Anna would really pull anything over on her, but she didn't know her that well.
"Quick, turn it on to channel nine," Anna requested, somewhat desperately.
Summer flipped the TV on and changed the channel to nine.
"…Newport Beach, California. The rapist of a young, recent graduate of the elite Harbor School, Summer Roberts, has been arrested today. Less than an hour ago, the suspect was apprehended…" the TV anchorwoman spewed.
"Oh, my God! How could they not let me know before they even aired it on the news?" Summer spat.
"That's not the worst part," Anna said softly. "Wait until you see who it is."
And when they flashed the picture of the rapist on the screen, Summer was floored. No… no way. If her child was his… oh, God. She would rather have the child be Parker's, and have neither Seth nor Parker talk to her for the rest of her life than have the fetus inside her develop to be the offspring of him.
To be continued…