Disclaimer: Due to the fact that I'm writing this as I go and therefore
don't know what's gonna happen, I decided to say that I only own Corey and
Jenny.
Kudos:
Psycho Virus83: Yep, but now Corey knows their weakness. Let's see what happens. Hmm. -looks at Medusa- Is she in love with me or something? "A good improvement"? It was bad before? -Breaks into uncontrollable sobs. Psycho Virus83 tries to comfort him, but- I feel better. -Psycho Virus83 falls over Anime style-
Turel: Enough with the Anime references.
Concept: Sorry.
Dark-Sephy: Thanks for pointing that out. I will get some kind of "story line" up again. But it will be stupid, rest assured.
MikotoTribal: Aha, good idea. No disco. Hehe. But lots of nu-metal. (And Moby doesn't like that, heheheh). As for the drinking age, I don't really know. After the age of 13, people just drink heaps of alcohol whenever they can. It's "cool", you know. On a related note, I had my first drink of alcohol when I was ten. I thought it was Cola. Umm, pretty dumb of me.
OrpheumZero: Ehe, slight misunderstanding. But you should really be glad you don't know what I was thinking. It was horrible. As for resurrection, I just had a plan.
MortalSora: Well, just got 5 reviews, (not at the same time) so it will be continued now. By the way, my fic isn't insane. It's just stupid. (in the sense of not having any plot or seriousness to it.)
A/N: Okay people, this is the second-last chapter. Which means next chapter will be the last. (cheering from all the characters but me that appeared in this fic is heard).
However, I have a sequel planned. (all the characters but me that appeared in this fic groans) For a long time actually. I'm gonna call it "The shining. Oh wait a minute." It will be some kind of parody on the shining. Imagine Kain going crazy on the Overlook hotel. And in true "oh wait a minute" style, it will be just as stupid and pointless as this one. Hey, now I know what I will call my humour (insert snort and sarcastic nodding here) series. It won't involve Corey and jenny however. Unless I use them as guest stars. Ass for the rest of this story, GET AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD, VORADOR, as for the rest of this story, I will make Corey reenact (parodize, in english) Evil dead 2 in this chapter, and army of darkness in the next one. Muahahahaha. So inspect some chainsaw/boomstick fun. (insert snort and sarcastic nodding here). But I wonder who will lose the hand this time.
Turel: You know, Concept, in chapter 1 you said Jenny would come to the slipknot concert, but when you actually got to the concert, Corey was the only one there.
Concept: The first of many plotholes.
********************************************************************
Moebius: Why didn't I go to heaven, God? I've converted to Mormonism. I don't like it down here. They play Limp Bizkit and Linkin park and Sum 41 down here. It was a good place for Concept. Why?
God: Because Concept of a demon is a satanist. And he is writing this and he doesn't like you, so he sent you here to disappoint you. However, he doesn't want any of the good looking girls down here to be scared by you, so he is going to send some people down here to get you back to earth.
Moebius: I don't wanna go with them.
God: Well, there is another way.
Moebius: Really?
God: Yeah, here's what you need to do-
Meanwhile on earth
Corey: Hey, you guys are burned by water, right? (Plunges into a swimming pool.)
Kain, VRaziel, Turel, Dumah, Zephon, Melchiah, Janos: IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSS!
Concept: Breathe.
Kain, VRaziel, Turel, Dumah, Zephon, Melchiah, Janos: But we're done.
Concept: Oh, okay.
Turel: You know, Concept, you have appeared so many times lately in this story, that it should be called a self insertation fic.
Concept: You're right. (dissappears never to be seen again. Unless I make a plot hole again.)
Kain: Finally got rid of that asshole.
Cue plothole. Concept appears and whacks Kain. Concept dissappears again.
Corey: How am I gonna get you guys out of me? I am sick of being whacked because Kain is a dumbass.
Turel: Okay, you want us out of you? Here are the instructions: First you must go up to this cabin in the middle of absolute nowhere. There you must recite these words: Clatuu Verata Nictu. Repeat them after me.
Corey: Clatuu Verata Nictu.
Turel: Again.
Corey: Clatuu Verata Nictu.
Turel: Again.
Corey: I got it, I got it. I know your damn words, alright? What is the next part?
Turel: Once you have recited the words, you must cut your hand off with one of Concept's chainsaws and throw it into a portal that will appear. (Does some of this make sense?)
Corey: Cut my hand off? Got it. (Damn, is he dense?)
Turel: Meanwhile we will sleep in your hand, because that is nescescary for the whole situation. We must be asleep so no waking us up.
Corey: Good. Then go to sleep.
Scene shift to some random "cabin-that-is-actually-the-cabin-from-evil-dead- 1-and-2".
Corey: Oh man, I forgot all the other freaks. And that dude that dances in his boxers.
Lighting strikes outside of the cabin. Corey goes out there and sees Sebastian, Faustus, Marcus, Magnus, Rahab and Vorador. And Hash of course.
Marcus: WE'RE HERE. WE'RE QUEER- Oh wait a second.
Faustus: Damnit, Marcus. No more gay jokes. You know Concept don't like it.
Marcus: Bah, what can that joke do to me?
Cue plot hole. Marcus is dragged into some screwy dimension. When he reappears with the group, he is curled up in a ball and whimpering.
Marcus: So.Much.Backstreet.Boys.Gonna.Die.From.The.Horror.
Faustus: I warned him.
Magnus: WHAT GONNA HAPPEN NOW, BOY IN TOO BIG CLOTHING WHO IS ACTUALLY SOME DUMB MANIFISTATION OF THE AUTHOR?
Everybodyelse: Huh?
Jenny appears.
Jenny: Enough of this. (But not in her usual voice. Her face is twisted into a wrinkly grimace and her voice sounds old and shrill.)
Sebastian: The horror. Moebius has possessed her Evil Dead 2 style.
Corey: Oh hell no. Hang in there Jenny. I'm gonna get him out of you.
Moebius: I'll take you instead.
Corey: Oh hell no. I'm not gonna dance in my boxers.
Moebius: We'll see, my boy. (flyes towards Corey)
Corey: AAAARRRGGGHHH. (is possessed)
Moebius: Haha, now dance my boy, dance.
Corey's hand is doing all kinds of weird movements.
Corey: Ha, you're in my hand, you old fart.
Moebius: No, I don't freaking believe it. Oh well. (starts punching Corey)
The next scene is basically a reenaction of the hand scene in Evil dead 2. Corey is hammering plates and whatever he can find unto his head. He also punches himself in the face alot. Well, actually it's Moebius doing this. Corey finally reaches for a knife. He jams it into his hand. He instinctly grab for a chainsaw. But there is none.
Rahab: Ah, screw it. CONCEPT.
Concept: What?
Rahab: Chainsaw, please.
Concept hands him a chainsaw.
Rahab: Hey, Corey, grab.
Corey: Haha, who's laughing now, huh? Who's laughing NOW, AhahahahahahaAAAARRRGGGHHHOUCH.
Hash: Not you clearly.
Corey (in extreme pain because he just lost his hand): Shut up. You're ruining the one-liners.
Rahab: gingi blambu dashta naftu klumat etsu.
Corey: Huh?
Rahab: I'm trying to open the portal.
Corey: Oh okay. Hey, where'd my hand go?
The hand is running around like a crazy.
Rahab: You gotta catch it or all will be lost.
Corey: it's too freaking fast. Who would have known that old fart could run so fast in hand mode. Hey.
Corey has gotten an idea. He grabs the chainsaw and the nearest shotgun. Though I don't know how when he only has one hand.
Corey: Come with me to the tool shed, fishy.
After much work in the tool shed Corey has a chainsaw strapped to his arm Evil dead 2 style. He cuts some of the barrel of the shotgun with the chainsaw. And yes, it is a double barreled shotgun. Corey looks (in Ash style) at Rahab and Magnus, who has come to see what's going on.
Corey: Gnarly, dude.
Rahab: Hurry. We must find your hand and get Umah out of Jenny.
They return to the cabin. They find Jenny and Rahab quickly exorcises her. The hand, however, is nowhere to be seen. Corey is looking around for it. It appears in a mousehole and gives him the finger. Corey makes the fighters from Dragon ball Z jealous because of the speed he pulls his shotgun with. The hand is hit head on.
Sebastian: Was that a pun?
No, damnit.
Sebastian: Okay.
The hand however is still too fast. It latches on to Corey's throat. Like one of those hands from Blood 1. Damn, they were annoying.
Corey: Ack. Get it off.
He quickly gets it off. He kicks it into the portal.
Rahab: You forgot to say the words.
Corey: Oh shit.
Every remaining LOK character quickly jumps into the portal. Corey tries to make up to his mistake.
Corey: This is easy enough. Clatuu Verata nic- Uhh. Necturn, nickel, neck. It was a N-word. It was definitly a N-word. Hrrm. (looks around him to see if anyone is watching him.) Clatuu Verata Nic (fake coughing.) Okay. I said it. (Is yanked into the portal.) Damnit. I'm not reenacting Army of Darkness.
Concept: We'll see, my friend. We'll see. Mwahahahahaha.
********************************************************************
Wow, that sure was pointless. And short. They are usually at 8 pages. However, now Corey is free. Or is he? Oh yeah, he is. But he is not in our world anymore. Where could he be? That will be answered next time on "The exorc oh, wait a minute". Which will appear next time I get 5 reviews. Remember to tell me if you want to see the next chapter in the series done. No point in making it if no one wants to read it. So remember to tell me. You still have the chance in next chapter, though. As always, 5 reviews or I won't continue.
Hmm, I have this feeling I forgot something. I wonder what it is.
-Turel is seen sneaking away quietly. He quickly gets mugged by Slipknot.-
Kudos:
Psycho Virus83: Yep, but now Corey knows their weakness. Let's see what happens. Hmm. -looks at Medusa- Is she in love with me or something? "A good improvement"? It was bad before? -Breaks into uncontrollable sobs. Psycho Virus83 tries to comfort him, but- I feel better. -Psycho Virus83 falls over Anime style-
Turel: Enough with the Anime references.
Concept: Sorry.
Dark-Sephy: Thanks for pointing that out. I will get some kind of "story line" up again. But it will be stupid, rest assured.
MikotoTribal: Aha, good idea. No disco. Hehe. But lots of nu-metal. (And Moby doesn't like that, heheheh). As for the drinking age, I don't really know. After the age of 13, people just drink heaps of alcohol whenever they can. It's "cool", you know. On a related note, I had my first drink of alcohol when I was ten. I thought it was Cola. Umm, pretty dumb of me.
OrpheumZero: Ehe, slight misunderstanding. But you should really be glad you don't know what I was thinking. It was horrible. As for resurrection, I just had a plan.
MortalSora: Well, just got 5 reviews, (not at the same time) so it will be continued now. By the way, my fic isn't insane. It's just stupid. (in the sense of not having any plot or seriousness to it.)
A/N: Okay people, this is the second-last chapter. Which means next chapter will be the last. (cheering from all the characters but me that appeared in this fic is heard).
However, I have a sequel planned. (all the characters but me that appeared in this fic groans) For a long time actually. I'm gonna call it "The shining. Oh wait a minute." It will be some kind of parody on the shining. Imagine Kain going crazy on the Overlook hotel. And in true "oh wait a minute" style, it will be just as stupid and pointless as this one. Hey, now I know what I will call my humour (insert snort and sarcastic nodding here) series. It won't involve Corey and jenny however. Unless I use them as guest stars. Ass for the rest of this story, GET AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD, VORADOR, as for the rest of this story, I will make Corey reenact (parodize, in english) Evil dead 2 in this chapter, and army of darkness in the next one. Muahahahaha. So inspect some chainsaw/boomstick fun. (insert snort and sarcastic nodding here). But I wonder who will lose the hand this time.
Turel: You know, Concept, in chapter 1 you said Jenny would come to the slipknot concert, but when you actually got to the concert, Corey was the only one there.
Concept: The first of many plotholes.
********************************************************************
Moebius: Why didn't I go to heaven, God? I've converted to Mormonism. I don't like it down here. They play Limp Bizkit and Linkin park and Sum 41 down here. It was a good place for Concept. Why?
God: Because Concept of a demon is a satanist. And he is writing this and he doesn't like you, so he sent you here to disappoint you. However, he doesn't want any of the good looking girls down here to be scared by you, so he is going to send some people down here to get you back to earth.
Moebius: I don't wanna go with them.
God: Well, there is another way.
Moebius: Really?
God: Yeah, here's what you need to do-
Meanwhile on earth
Corey: Hey, you guys are burned by water, right? (Plunges into a swimming pool.)
Kain, VRaziel, Turel, Dumah, Zephon, Melchiah, Janos: IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSS!
Concept: Breathe.
Kain, VRaziel, Turel, Dumah, Zephon, Melchiah, Janos: But we're done.
Concept: Oh, okay.
Turel: You know, Concept, you have appeared so many times lately in this story, that it should be called a self insertation fic.
Concept: You're right. (dissappears never to be seen again. Unless I make a plot hole again.)
Kain: Finally got rid of that asshole.
Cue plothole. Concept appears and whacks Kain. Concept dissappears again.
Corey: How am I gonna get you guys out of me? I am sick of being whacked because Kain is a dumbass.
Turel: Okay, you want us out of you? Here are the instructions: First you must go up to this cabin in the middle of absolute nowhere. There you must recite these words: Clatuu Verata Nictu. Repeat them after me.
Corey: Clatuu Verata Nictu.
Turel: Again.
Corey: Clatuu Verata Nictu.
Turel: Again.
Corey: I got it, I got it. I know your damn words, alright? What is the next part?
Turel: Once you have recited the words, you must cut your hand off with one of Concept's chainsaws and throw it into a portal that will appear. (Does some of this make sense?)
Corey: Cut my hand off? Got it. (Damn, is he dense?)
Turel: Meanwhile we will sleep in your hand, because that is nescescary for the whole situation. We must be asleep so no waking us up.
Corey: Good. Then go to sleep.
Scene shift to some random "cabin-that-is-actually-the-cabin-from-evil-dead- 1-and-2".
Corey: Oh man, I forgot all the other freaks. And that dude that dances in his boxers.
Lighting strikes outside of the cabin. Corey goes out there and sees Sebastian, Faustus, Marcus, Magnus, Rahab and Vorador. And Hash of course.
Marcus: WE'RE HERE. WE'RE QUEER- Oh wait a second.
Faustus: Damnit, Marcus. No more gay jokes. You know Concept don't like it.
Marcus: Bah, what can that joke do to me?
Cue plot hole. Marcus is dragged into some screwy dimension. When he reappears with the group, he is curled up in a ball and whimpering.
Marcus: So.Much.Backstreet.Boys.Gonna.Die.From.The.Horror.
Faustus: I warned him.
Magnus: WHAT GONNA HAPPEN NOW, BOY IN TOO BIG CLOTHING WHO IS ACTUALLY SOME DUMB MANIFISTATION OF THE AUTHOR?
Everybodyelse: Huh?
Jenny appears.
Jenny: Enough of this. (But not in her usual voice. Her face is twisted into a wrinkly grimace and her voice sounds old and shrill.)
Sebastian: The horror. Moebius has possessed her Evil Dead 2 style.
Corey: Oh hell no. Hang in there Jenny. I'm gonna get him out of you.
Moebius: I'll take you instead.
Corey: Oh hell no. I'm not gonna dance in my boxers.
Moebius: We'll see, my boy. (flyes towards Corey)
Corey: AAAARRRGGGHHH. (is possessed)
Moebius: Haha, now dance my boy, dance.
Corey's hand is doing all kinds of weird movements.
Corey: Ha, you're in my hand, you old fart.
Moebius: No, I don't freaking believe it. Oh well. (starts punching Corey)
The next scene is basically a reenaction of the hand scene in Evil dead 2. Corey is hammering plates and whatever he can find unto his head. He also punches himself in the face alot. Well, actually it's Moebius doing this. Corey finally reaches for a knife. He jams it into his hand. He instinctly grab for a chainsaw. But there is none.
Rahab: Ah, screw it. CONCEPT.
Concept: What?
Rahab: Chainsaw, please.
Concept hands him a chainsaw.
Rahab: Hey, Corey, grab.
Corey: Haha, who's laughing now, huh? Who's laughing NOW, AhahahahahahaAAAARRRGGGHHHOUCH.
Hash: Not you clearly.
Corey (in extreme pain because he just lost his hand): Shut up. You're ruining the one-liners.
Rahab: gingi blambu dashta naftu klumat etsu.
Corey: Huh?
Rahab: I'm trying to open the portal.
Corey: Oh okay. Hey, where'd my hand go?
The hand is running around like a crazy.
Rahab: You gotta catch it or all will be lost.
Corey: it's too freaking fast. Who would have known that old fart could run so fast in hand mode. Hey.
Corey has gotten an idea. He grabs the chainsaw and the nearest shotgun. Though I don't know how when he only has one hand.
Corey: Come with me to the tool shed, fishy.
After much work in the tool shed Corey has a chainsaw strapped to his arm Evil dead 2 style. He cuts some of the barrel of the shotgun with the chainsaw. And yes, it is a double barreled shotgun. Corey looks (in Ash style) at Rahab and Magnus, who has come to see what's going on.
Corey: Gnarly, dude.
Rahab: Hurry. We must find your hand and get Umah out of Jenny.
They return to the cabin. They find Jenny and Rahab quickly exorcises her. The hand, however, is nowhere to be seen. Corey is looking around for it. It appears in a mousehole and gives him the finger. Corey makes the fighters from Dragon ball Z jealous because of the speed he pulls his shotgun with. The hand is hit head on.
Sebastian: Was that a pun?
No, damnit.
Sebastian: Okay.
The hand however is still too fast. It latches on to Corey's throat. Like one of those hands from Blood 1. Damn, they were annoying.
Corey: Ack. Get it off.
He quickly gets it off. He kicks it into the portal.
Rahab: You forgot to say the words.
Corey: Oh shit.
Every remaining LOK character quickly jumps into the portal. Corey tries to make up to his mistake.
Corey: This is easy enough. Clatuu Verata nic- Uhh. Necturn, nickel, neck. It was a N-word. It was definitly a N-word. Hrrm. (looks around him to see if anyone is watching him.) Clatuu Verata Nic (fake coughing.) Okay. I said it. (Is yanked into the portal.) Damnit. I'm not reenacting Army of Darkness.
Concept: We'll see, my friend. We'll see. Mwahahahahaha.
********************************************************************
Wow, that sure was pointless. And short. They are usually at 8 pages. However, now Corey is free. Or is he? Oh yeah, he is. But he is not in our world anymore. Where could he be? That will be answered next time on "The exorc oh, wait a minute". Which will appear next time I get 5 reviews. Remember to tell me if you want to see the next chapter in the series done. No point in making it if no one wants to read it. So remember to tell me. You still have the chance in next chapter, though. As always, 5 reviews or I won't continue.
Hmm, I have this feeling I forgot something. I wonder what it is.
-Turel is seen sneaking away quietly. He quickly gets mugged by Slipknot.-