A/N: HALLO! CHAPPIE NUMBER TWO! THE WAKKA DOLL ATTACKS MORE AL BHED!
OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! By the way, there is a little Wakka bashing because it's
just so much fun to make fun of an idiot like that . . .
**Quote of the Day** "Do you honestly think that nobody would cry if you died?" - Aoki Seiichiro, X/1999, Anime
Disclaimer: DON'T YOU GET IT? I DON'T OWN THE RIGHTS TO FFX! NEITHER DOES CHOCO! WE ARE USING THE CHARACTERS, PLACES, AND PAST EVENTS WITHOUT PERMISSION!
(___) - These are Al Bhed translations
The Cursed Wakka Doll: by MoMo-ChAn and Choco
Chapter Two
All right, the cursed Wakka doll is working on "converting" all the Al Bhed and everyone else in Spira into zombie-Yevonite Wakkas. ^-^ We are pleased to continue this fanfic. Enjoy.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed all the Al Bhed, staring at their friend who was staring blankly back at them.
"Ya?" the "converted" Al Bhed said tonelessly.
The others' eyes grew wide. Ya? Ya? That was something that Wakka had said constantly at the end of all his sentences. And if they weren't mistaken, he had been a Yevonite! A BIG Yevonite! One who believed all Al Bhed were EVIL. One who believed that by simply redeeming all your sins, Sin would disappear. Well now one of their own had become a Yevonite. Which was kinda weird seeing as how Yu Yevon's dead, the maesters are pretty much dead, and there's no more Sin so basically there aren't any Yevonites.
"All Al Bhed must die," said the former Al Bhed. "They are heathens."
"Dryd'c hud jano hela!" shouted Nimrook. (That's not very nice!)
"Oayr! Fa'na hud raydrahc!" said another Al Bhed. (Yeah! We're not heathens!)
The "converted" shook his head. "You are heathens."
"Hu fa'na hud." (No we're not)
"Yes."
"Hu." (No.)
"Yes. All must die."
The Wakka Doll had turned around to face the Al Bhed. He sneered at them while holding his blitzball close. "It's because of you everyone has sinned, ya?! You have killed Yevon himself, ya?! You must die, ya?!"
An idiot of an Al Bhed, whom we shall call Idiot, spoke up. "Fa teth'd gemm Yevon." (We didn't kill Yevon.)
The Wakka Doll frowned. "I don't understand you, ya?"
Brother came to the front of the crowd to face the Cursed Wakka Doll. "We . . . peaceful. No . . . hurt," he said, using his very limited Spiran vocabulary.
"You do hurt."
Brother's face was twisting up, trying to think of the Spiran equivalent to Al Bhed. 'Tysh, E cruimt'ja byet suna yddahdeuh eh lmycc!' he thought. (Damn, I should've paid more attention in class) "We . . . hurt . . . bad . . ." he trailed off, at a loss for more words that the Doll would understand.
The Doll grew more furious. "HA! You admitted it, ya?!"
"Hu!" cried Brother, shaking his head.
Too late, Brother dear! The doll was mad. Appearing out of nowhere, another blitzball lands in the "converted" Al Bhed's hands. At first the Al Bhed stares at it, due to the fact that his intelligence has gone down due to his "conversion." He looked at it from all sides, trying to figure out how the blitzball works. The Doll jumped up and hit him with his own mini- blitzball. That hit must have done something because the "converted" went into a Wakka battle position. And that looks really stupid on Wakka alone. Now just imagine an Al Bhed trying to look like Wakka and imitating his battle pose. My Gawd, that's scary!
Blappa poked Brother. "Syopa fa cruimt kad uid uv rana." (Maybe we should get out of here.) Brother looked down at him.
"Kaa, oui drehg?" (Gee, you think?)
Blappa rolled his eyes at him and turned to the other Al Bhed. "Uh dra luihd uv drnaa fa nih: uha . . . dfu . . . drnaa!" (On the count of three we run: one . . . two . . . three!)
Screaming, Idiot ran straight at the cursed Wakka doll. Now we know why they call him Idiot. The other Al Bhed ran the other way, some hitting their heads with their hands and muttering, "Idiot ec cilr yh eteud!" (Idiot is such an idiot!)
While they were running they heard Idiot screaming. Then, since some of them turned their heads, they saw him running towards them with the converted Al Bhed behind him and the cursed doll on his head, both hitting him with their appointed blitzballs. Poor, poor Idiot. He really was an idiot. A big idiot. The others kept running. No way were they going to go save an idiot like Idiot. Besides, they didn't want to become like Wakka. Being a Yevonite would be bad, but a Yevonite WAKKA?! Nuh-uh. Not gonna happen anytime soon. But it did look like Idiot was catching up to them . . .
Nimrook tripped and fell. That's not good.
"Ramb sa!" he cried. (Help me!)
Too late! The Wakka doll jumped off of Idiot and started attacking Nimrook.
"HU! NIMROOK!" cried a female Al Bhed Psyche whose name escapes me at the time. Though, she still ran leaving Nimrook.
"Nimrook ec mucd! Ra ec y Yevonite!" cried Blappa. (Nimrook is lost! He is a Yevonite!)
Idiot was still screaming as he ran after them. Funnily enough, the converted Al Bhed was ignoring him. So was the doll. Idiot remained an Al Bhed. Guess he was too stupid. Or maybe if he converted, his stupidity would be so low he could not perform basic functions to live, like breathing.
Anyway, now the converted was hitting the Al Bhed from behind. One by one, they fall victim to the blitzball. Even though Wakka wasn't the brightest, he had a mean throw. Cried Berrik as he was hit, "E ryda blitzball huf!" (I hate blitzball now!)
Brother was looking behind to see how many he had lost. Out of the group of eleven, including himself, only six remained.
"Uf!" (Ow)
Make that five.
"Tysh! Fa haat du cdyht yna vekrd!" shouted Brother, not bothering to slow down. (Damn! We need to stand and fight!)
"UG! Oui kioc vekrd yna E'mm kad Cid," panted Blappa. (OK! You guys fight and I'll get Cid)
"Hu fyo! E'mm kad Cid. Ra'c so vydrad!" (No way! I'll get Cid. He's my father.)
"Cu?" (So?)
"Crid ib!" shouted the female Psyche whose name still escapes me. "Zicd NIH!" (Shut up! Just RUN!)
Ah, now it's all the way down to Brother, Blappa, and the female Psyche whose name I will never remember. The converted Al Bhed and the cursed Wakka doll were hot on their trail. Well, they'd have to be, there aren't really any intersections in the airship. Anyway, the cursed Wakka doll threw his mini-blitzball at no one in particular.
THWACK! Down goes Blappa!
Now the first "converted" Al Bhed throws his blitzball.
THWACK! Down goes the female Psyche whose name I can't remember.
RUN, BROTHER, RUN! In Al Bhed: NIH, BROTHER, NIH!
Oh he was running. And he was cursing himself for gaining those ten pounds by eating Yuna's cooking. Damn her and her delectable sweets!
"Tysh oui du ramm, Yuna! Oui yna ouin lincat cfaadc!" shouted Brother, gasping and panting. (Damn you to hell, Yuna! You and your cursed sweets!)
Sorry. We must take a small intermission so Choco and I can laugh until we can laugh no more. Please hold. You are important to us.
***CHEESY MUSIC***
***MORE CHEESY MUSIC***
***THE HYMN OF THE FAYTH***
***THE CHEESIET MUSIC EVER COMPOSED***
Thank you for your patience. Please scroll down to continue reading.
Brother ran. And ran and ran and ran and ran. And he looked behind him and nearly pissed his pants when he saw what was behind him.
ALL TEN MEMBER OF HIS GROUP WITH THE WAKKA DOLL LEADING THEM! OH THE HORRORS!
Screaming at the top of his lungs, Brother ran straight past Rin. Rin called after him, "Fryd'c kuehk uh?" No response except for Brother's strangled screams. Well that's not helpful. Stupid Brother.
Rin looked in the direction from which Brother came from. He saw the doll and the ten other Al Bhed. What was freaky was the two girls in that group looked like Wakka. What the hell? Why were their clothes yellow? Well, at least the girls were wearing shirts . . .
Rin stood in front of them, blocking their path.
"Move, ya? We gotta convert that Al Bhed, ya?"
Rin smiled. "Don't convert him unless you're completely stocked up!"
The doll tilted his head. "What?"
Rin snapped his fingers, clapped his hands, clicked his heels, and blinked twice. POOF! There was a stall stocked with every item you ever wanted. The converted just stared blankly. The Wakka doll, however, looked at it with interest.
"How much for the potion?" he asked.
"200 gil."
Wakka doll frowns. "Gimme or I convert you."
Sweatdropping, Rin replied, "But for you, a special price of 1 gil."
The Wakka doll looked uncertain. "Well . . . I guess . . ." He forks over 1 gil. Then a bright light appears. **Choir singing "Hallelujah" in high voices can be heard** A beautiful, brand-new, blitzball appears. "I want that," said the doll, pointing.
Rin looked at the blitzball. 'Where the hell did that come from?' "OK, special price, 1 gil." He took down the blitzball and handed it to the doll.
WHUMP!
Everybody stared down at the blitzball, which now covered his entire body, excluding arms and legs. Moving one, a muffled voice said, "I want a duplicate that's smaller."
"Done."
Two minutes later, the Wakka doll had a blitzball that was juuuuuuuuuust right. Smiling up at Rin, he said, "Ya?"
THWACK!
Rin has been converted!
"Follow me, ya?!" cried the cursed Wakka doll. Onward they moved, determined to catch Brother and make him one of their own.
***END OF THE CHAPPIE***
A/N: And to whatever reviewer said to make longer chapters, are you happy now?
MoMo: MWAH HA HA!
Choco: Please review while I sedate my hyper sister.
**Quote of the Day** "Do you honestly think that nobody would cry if you died?" - Aoki Seiichiro, X/1999, Anime
Disclaimer: DON'T YOU GET IT? I DON'T OWN THE RIGHTS TO FFX! NEITHER DOES CHOCO! WE ARE USING THE CHARACTERS, PLACES, AND PAST EVENTS WITHOUT PERMISSION!
(___) - These are Al Bhed translations
The Cursed Wakka Doll: by MoMo-ChAn and Choco
Chapter Two
All right, the cursed Wakka doll is working on "converting" all the Al Bhed and everyone else in Spira into zombie-Yevonite Wakkas. ^-^ We are pleased to continue this fanfic. Enjoy.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed all the Al Bhed, staring at their friend who was staring blankly back at them.
"Ya?" the "converted" Al Bhed said tonelessly.
The others' eyes grew wide. Ya? Ya? That was something that Wakka had said constantly at the end of all his sentences. And if they weren't mistaken, he had been a Yevonite! A BIG Yevonite! One who believed all Al Bhed were EVIL. One who believed that by simply redeeming all your sins, Sin would disappear. Well now one of their own had become a Yevonite. Which was kinda weird seeing as how Yu Yevon's dead, the maesters are pretty much dead, and there's no more Sin so basically there aren't any Yevonites.
"All Al Bhed must die," said the former Al Bhed. "They are heathens."
"Dryd'c hud jano hela!" shouted Nimrook. (That's not very nice!)
"Oayr! Fa'na hud raydrahc!" said another Al Bhed. (Yeah! We're not heathens!)
The "converted" shook his head. "You are heathens."
"Hu fa'na hud." (No we're not)
"Yes."
"Hu." (No.)
"Yes. All must die."
The Wakka Doll had turned around to face the Al Bhed. He sneered at them while holding his blitzball close. "It's because of you everyone has sinned, ya?! You have killed Yevon himself, ya?! You must die, ya?!"
An idiot of an Al Bhed, whom we shall call Idiot, spoke up. "Fa teth'd gemm Yevon." (We didn't kill Yevon.)
The Wakka Doll frowned. "I don't understand you, ya?"
Brother came to the front of the crowd to face the Cursed Wakka Doll. "We . . . peaceful. No . . . hurt," he said, using his very limited Spiran vocabulary.
"You do hurt."
Brother's face was twisting up, trying to think of the Spiran equivalent to Al Bhed. 'Tysh, E cruimt'ja byet suna yddahdeuh eh lmycc!' he thought. (Damn, I should've paid more attention in class) "We . . . hurt . . . bad . . ." he trailed off, at a loss for more words that the Doll would understand.
The Doll grew more furious. "HA! You admitted it, ya?!"
"Hu!" cried Brother, shaking his head.
Too late, Brother dear! The doll was mad. Appearing out of nowhere, another blitzball lands in the "converted" Al Bhed's hands. At first the Al Bhed stares at it, due to the fact that his intelligence has gone down due to his "conversion." He looked at it from all sides, trying to figure out how the blitzball works. The Doll jumped up and hit him with his own mini- blitzball. That hit must have done something because the "converted" went into a Wakka battle position. And that looks really stupid on Wakka alone. Now just imagine an Al Bhed trying to look like Wakka and imitating his battle pose. My Gawd, that's scary!
Blappa poked Brother. "Syopa fa cruimt kad uid uv rana." (Maybe we should get out of here.) Brother looked down at him.
"Kaa, oui drehg?" (Gee, you think?)
Blappa rolled his eyes at him and turned to the other Al Bhed. "Uh dra luihd uv drnaa fa nih: uha . . . dfu . . . drnaa!" (On the count of three we run: one . . . two . . . three!)
Screaming, Idiot ran straight at the cursed Wakka doll. Now we know why they call him Idiot. The other Al Bhed ran the other way, some hitting their heads with their hands and muttering, "Idiot ec cilr yh eteud!" (Idiot is such an idiot!)
While they were running they heard Idiot screaming. Then, since some of them turned their heads, they saw him running towards them with the converted Al Bhed behind him and the cursed doll on his head, both hitting him with their appointed blitzballs. Poor, poor Idiot. He really was an idiot. A big idiot. The others kept running. No way were they going to go save an idiot like Idiot. Besides, they didn't want to become like Wakka. Being a Yevonite would be bad, but a Yevonite WAKKA?! Nuh-uh. Not gonna happen anytime soon. But it did look like Idiot was catching up to them . . .
Nimrook tripped and fell. That's not good.
"Ramb sa!" he cried. (Help me!)
Too late! The Wakka doll jumped off of Idiot and started attacking Nimrook.
"HU! NIMROOK!" cried a female Al Bhed Psyche whose name escapes me at the time. Though, she still ran leaving Nimrook.
"Nimrook ec mucd! Ra ec y Yevonite!" cried Blappa. (Nimrook is lost! He is a Yevonite!)
Idiot was still screaming as he ran after them. Funnily enough, the converted Al Bhed was ignoring him. So was the doll. Idiot remained an Al Bhed. Guess he was too stupid. Or maybe if he converted, his stupidity would be so low he could not perform basic functions to live, like breathing.
Anyway, now the converted was hitting the Al Bhed from behind. One by one, they fall victim to the blitzball. Even though Wakka wasn't the brightest, he had a mean throw. Cried Berrik as he was hit, "E ryda blitzball huf!" (I hate blitzball now!)
Brother was looking behind to see how many he had lost. Out of the group of eleven, including himself, only six remained.
"Uf!" (Ow)
Make that five.
"Tysh! Fa haat du cdyht yna vekrd!" shouted Brother, not bothering to slow down. (Damn! We need to stand and fight!)
"UG! Oui kioc vekrd yna E'mm kad Cid," panted Blappa. (OK! You guys fight and I'll get Cid)
"Hu fyo! E'mm kad Cid. Ra'c so vydrad!" (No way! I'll get Cid. He's my father.)
"Cu?" (So?)
"Crid ib!" shouted the female Psyche whose name still escapes me. "Zicd NIH!" (Shut up! Just RUN!)
Ah, now it's all the way down to Brother, Blappa, and the female Psyche whose name I will never remember. The converted Al Bhed and the cursed Wakka doll were hot on their trail. Well, they'd have to be, there aren't really any intersections in the airship. Anyway, the cursed Wakka doll threw his mini-blitzball at no one in particular.
THWACK! Down goes Blappa!
Now the first "converted" Al Bhed throws his blitzball.
THWACK! Down goes the female Psyche whose name I can't remember.
RUN, BROTHER, RUN! In Al Bhed: NIH, BROTHER, NIH!
Oh he was running. And he was cursing himself for gaining those ten pounds by eating Yuna's cooking. Damn her and her delectable sweets!
"Tysh oui du ramm, Yuna! Oui yna ouin lincat cfaadc!" shouted Brother, gasping and panting. (Damn you to hell, Yuna! You and your cursed sweets!)
Sorry. We must take a small intermission so Choco and I can laugh until we can laugh no more. Please hold. You are important to us.
***CHEESY MUSIC***
***MORE CHEESY MUSIC***
***THE HYMN OF THE FAYTH***
***THE CHEESIET MUSIC EVER COMPOSED***
Thank you for your patience. Please scroll down to continue reading.
Brother ran. And ran and ran and ran and ran. And he looked behind him and nearly pissed his pants when he saw what was behind him.
ALL TEN MEMBER OF HIS GROUP WITH THE WAKKA DOLL LEADING THEM! OH THE HORRORS!
Screaming at the top of his lungs, Brother ran straight past Rin. Rin called after him, "Fryd'c kuehk uh?" No response except for Brother's strangled screams. Well that's not helpful. Stupid Brother.
Rin looked in the direction from which Brother came from. He saw the doll and the ten other Al Bhed. What was freaky was the two girls in that group looked like Wakka. What the hell? Why were their clothes yellow? Well, at least the girls were wearing shirts . . .
Rin stood in front of them, blocking their path.
"Move, ya? We gotta convert that Al Bhed, ya?"
Rin smiled. "Don't convert him unless you're completely stocked up!"
The doll tilted his head. "What?"
Rin snapped his fingers, clapped his hands, clicked his heels, and blinked twice. POOF! There was a stall stocked with every item you ever wanted. The converted just stared blankly. The Wakka doll, however, looked at it with interest.
"How much for the potion?" he asked.
"200 gil."
Wakka doll frowns. "Gimme or I convert you."
Sweatdropping, Rin replied, "But for you, a special price of 1 gil."
The Wakka doll looked uncertain. "Well . . . I guess . . ." He forks over 1 gil. Then a bright light appears. **Choir singing "Hallelujah" in high voices can be heard** A beautiful, brand-new, blitzball appears. "I want that," said the doll, pointing.
Rin looked at the blitzball. 'Where the hell did that come from?' "OK, special price, 1 gil." He took down the blitzball and handed it to the doll.
WHUMP!
Everybody stared down at the blitzball, which now covered his entire body, excluding arms and legs. Moving one, a muffled voice said, "I want a duplicate that's smaller."
"Done."
Two minutes later, the Wakka doll had a blitzball that was juuuuuuuuuust right. Smiling up at Rin, he said, "Ya?"
THWACK!
Rin has been converted!
"Follow me, ya?!" cried the cursed Wakka doll. Onward they moved, determined to catch Brother and make him one of their own.
***END OF THE CHAPPIE***
A/N: And to whatever reviewer said to make longer chapters, are you happy now?
MoMo: MWAH HA HA!
Choco: Please review while I sedate my hyper sister.