A.N.
A light turns on, illuminating what appears to be a throne room. The throne room that any Esca fan would recognize as the throne room of one Dilandau Albatou, but Dilly is nowhere to be seen. Instead two girls can be seen seated on the thrones at the rear of the room. On the slightly bigger one sits Lady Hitomi Albatou, while her partner in crime Sliver Tenshi is seated on the smaller one.
LHA: Greetings and salutations dear readers. Welcome to this rendition of The Taming of the Serpent…..
ST: ...Tomi what is this mystery theatre???????? Lighten up a little would ya.
LHA: Errrrrrrr…. I don't know I was just trying to make some sort of introduction first.
ST: Well we need to do the disclaimer first. After all we are just poor, poor university students with absolutely no money to call our own.
LHA: Hey speak for yourself, my husband is rich!!!!
ST: Tomi, remember, Dilly-boy hates Draco. He's not likely to help you with anything Harry Potter related.
LHA: Shut up!!!! That's not the point!!!
ST: Okay, okay, dropping the subject. Anyway, so who is the lucky victim, I mean person, who gets to do our disclaimer??
LHA: So glad you asked. (walks over to the magical fax machine that appeared out of nowhere and pushes the button with a gold ring on it. A piece of paper flies out of the machine. The paper begins to magically change shape until the form of one tall blond-haired, drop dead gorgeous sex god, also known as Legolas Greenleaf had now appeared in the room looking very confused)
ST: OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thankies, Tomi!!!!!!!! (stars in her eyes, screeches)
Leggie: (shudders and moves away from ST) Ummmmm…. Could one of you fine young ladies tell me where exactly I am?
ST: He complemented me Tomi, he complemented me.
LHA: I think that's just the way they talk where he's from.
ST: Don't destroy my dream Tomi don't destroy my dream.
LHA: (turns to Leggie with a sympathetic look) DO you wanna go home??? (Leggie nods head vigorously) Read this and I'll send you home. (hold out a piece of paper, Leggie rips it out of LHA's hand. ST gives LHA the ever-reliable puppy dog eyes. LHA whispers to ST) It's alright he'll be back.
(ST beams at LHA, before returning to drooling over Leggie-poo)
Leggie: (looking very nervous, reads the paper) Neither Lady Hitomi Albatou or Silver Tenshi own the characters that they are about to use. (mumbles; Torture is a more accurate word. Leggie looks up from the paper to see twin death glares aimed at him) Eeeeppppp!!!!! Hahaha, ummm. The character "luckily", (death glares intensify, and Leggie feels a slight tightening around his throat) I mean unfortunately belong to J.K. Rowling. The only thing that these two beautiful young ladies own is the plot. (turns to LHA) Can I leave now??
LHA: Yes, yes. (hits return button on fax machine) Don't worry Leggie-poo your time will come, sooner rather than later.
(Legolas disappears into the fax machine, an expression of horror etched on his gorgeous face)
LHA: Now that that's finished….
ST: …..On with the story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Prologue 1-In Which Accidents Can Happen….
It was a peaceful morning at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It was the beginning of the third day of the golden trio's seventh and final year at Hogwarts. However the ear piercing screams of the Head Girl, Hermione Granger, soon shattered that peace as she began to curse in various different languages. "I can't believe I over slept. Snape is gonna kill me. Of all the days it had to be, it had to be the day that I have potions first thing in the morning." Hermione dashed around her room trying to get ready. Her blouse was haphazardly thrown on and the buttons miss-buttoned as she tried desperately not to be late for potions. She sprinted out to the heads' common room and grabbed what she believed to be her robe from the back of one of the couches. Glad for once that she always thinks ahead and packs her bag the night before she grabbed it from the table where it sat, threw it and the robe onto her back and then practically flew down the stairs to the dungeons, in her haste not to be to late. The thought of using her time turner to arrive on time never occurred to her in her mad dash to the potions classroom. She burst into the potions classroom 5 minutes late to find the entire class watching her. Snape took one look at her rumbled appearance and sneered.
"Miss Granger, 50 points from Griffindor for holding up my class and another 10 points for your unkempt appearance. As Head Girl one would hope you would dress in a manner that befits your position, not as a harlot." Snape paused to look over Hermonie's seething form once more before a ghost of a smirk appeared on his face as he noticed just what she was wearing. "Oh, and one last thing Miss Granger," Snape drawled out. "Although I am very much aware that Slytherin is by far the most superior of the houses, let me assure you that you will never be a Slytherin.
[AN. LHA: Funny you should say that. ST: HEHEHEHE That's what you think Sevie.]
Hermione looked down at the robe she was wearing and was mortified to find out that she was wearing Draco's robe. She had completely forgot that Draco threw his robe by hers while they were studying in the heads' common room last night. She slumped over to where Draco was seated and collapsed into her seat beside him. Harry and Ron looked over at the slumped form of their friend with sympathy. Draco looked over at his potions partner and patted her shoulder sympathetically. Hermione smiled at Draco before reaching into her bag for her wand so that she could transfigure the Slytherin badge on her robes into the Griffindor one. When her hand did not immediately encounter her wand, Hermione began to frantically search her bag for it. When her search turned up empty Hermione rolled her eyes heavenward and asked herself "what next", and then proceeded to bang her head repeatedly against the desk in front of her. Draco pulled his wand out of his pocket and discreetly transfigured the Slytherin badge on her robes into a Griffindor one. Draco put his wand away before once more placing his arm around Hermione's shoulders.
"It's alright luv, it happens to the best of us," Draco told her as he smiled down at his friend. Hermione smiled up at Draco in thanks. It was still hard to believe that at the beginning of the summer they had still hated each other's guts.
Draco's father had at the start of the summer decided that he should finally take his as place as a death eater. After watching his mother be brutally slaughtered at the hands of his father's "friends", the idea didn't exactly appeal to him. After writing a letter to Albus Dumbledore explaining the situation and his feeling he was inducted into the Order of the Phoenix and joined Snape in his spying missions against Voldemort, or Moldie Voldie as the younger members of the Order were inclined to refer to him as. While staying at the Order headquarters he had become friends with Hermione as she was the only member of the golden trio to actively give Draco a chance to prove that he had changed. Throughout the course of the summer Draco's friendship with Hermione grew until he even trusted her with his deepest secret. You see Draco had a crush on one Harry Potter, but had no idea if Harry swung that way, let alone liked him.
The rest of potions thankfully went by with out a hitch, with Griffindor only losing another 20 points for incorrectly made potions. Hermione quickly gathered her supplies together before exiting the classroom, where she met Ron, Harry and Draco. "What happened this morning Hermione, you're never late for class?" Ron asked as he looked over the frazzled figure of his best friend.
"Why didn't you just use the time turner to make sure you were on time this morning?" Draco whispered to his roommate. Hermione whirls around to face Draco and snarls out, "And where you when I was in need of this information this morning Draco, and come to think of it WHY DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME UP THIS MORNING WHEN YOU GOT UP!!!!!!!!" Hermione shouted at her friend as she glared at him. Draco laughed quietly as he backed slowly away from the glowering Hermione.
"It's just that you looked so peaceful lying there sleeping that I thought it would be a shame to wake you up. How was I to know that today was the one day that you forgot to set your alarm." Hermione glared daggers at Draco before once more continuing on her way to her room. After retrieving her wand from her room she started to make her way to her charms class. Hermione was relieved when nothing to stressful happened during charms and was felling much better as she left the classroom. As she headed in the direction of the Great Hall she pulled her time turner out from the front compartment of her bag and put it over her head. Holding it in her hand she looked at the seemingly innocent hourglass and sighed. "Sometimes your more trouble than your worth," she thought to herself as she slipped it under her robes. She never noticed as Peeves snuck up behind her with a foghorn in his hands. It wasn't until he set the horn off in her ear that Hermione had a clue of the poltergeists presence behind her. As she jumped in shock at the sound of the horn her foot caught on one of the uneven stones of the hallway and she fell forward. The last thing she remembered was the sound of glass shattering as the world around her began to spin. As she fell unconscious Hermione wondered just what she had done to fate to warrant having such odious bad luck. She was unaware as she seemingly fell from the ceiling that she would end up in the arms of the one person she would never expect.
[AN.
LHA: It's that time again and you know what that means, MORE AUTHOR NOTES!!!!!
(ST holds up a sign that says YEAH!!!!!)
ST: Hey Tomi look what I found. (holds up a bow with elfish engravings on it) Leggie must have left it behind.
LHA: Well I guess the only polite thing to do would be to return it to him (grins evilly)
ST: YEAH!!!! Leggie-poo is coming back! Leggie-poo is coming back!
LHA: Tenshi behave!
ST: Yes Tomi. (looks down in disappointment that she won't be able to hug her Leggie-poo)
(LHA pushes button on MFM {magic fax machine} and steps back to wait for Leggie's arrival. Legolas arrives the same way as before and when he sees the two girls awaiting him cowards back in fear)
Leggie: OH NO!!!! Anyone but you two again.
LHA: SSSHHHHH!!!!!!!! Relax we just brought you back to return your bow to you. (looking slightly nervous, as the sound of footsteps could be heard approaching the throne room. Any reply that Legolas was about to make was interrupted by loud banging on the throne room door)
ST: (looks at door in terror) OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dilly's back!!!!
Dilly: Hitomi, I know you're in there with that freak friend of yours. (ST glares at the door) Open this door right now I have a Dragonslayer meeting scheduled to start soon and I need to get ready.
LHA: Uuuuummmmmm….. just a minute (as she frantically looks for a place to stuff Legolas)
ST: (after trying numerous different hiding places each one more obvious than the last caught sight of the curtains that covered the windows. Runs over to Leggie, grabs him by the arm and drags him over to the curtain. Pushes Leggie behind the curtain while whispering instructions in his ear) Stay here be quiet and don't move. (dashes over to stand by the thrones as LHA opens the door for her husband while smiling sweetly at him)
LHA: Can you give us 2 minutes hunny, we're just wrapping up.
Dilly: (brushes her aside and walks into the room) What are you 2 doing in here???
ST/LHA: Nothing!! (halos appear over both of there heads)
Dilly: (eyes narrow in suspicion as he glances around the room. His eyes narrow even more as he catches sight of a pair of unusual boots under one of the drapes.) I thought I heard voices in here.
LHA: Nope, nope, just me and Tenshi here, plus the readers (points in the readers direction, Dilly doesn't even take his eyes off the distinctly MALE boots under the curtains. LHA and ST follow his gaze to the curtains and pale)
Dilly: I though I heard a MALE voice in here. (pulls out flamethrower and roasts the curtain. A very high-pitched elfish scream can be heard throughout the throne room as Hitomi begins to inch her way towards the MFM)
ST: Nnnnnnnooooooo!!!!!!!!!!! (Dilly turns to face ST as Hitomi hits the return button and gives ST the thumbs up) There's nothing there Lord Dilandau.
Dilly: (turns back around and sees nothing) What the???
THE END………….For now!!! ^_^