Second chapter: The encounter


Merry had some business in Newbury the next day after lunch and they had decided that Frodo would go alone. Frodo preferred walking on his own, exploring the nearby area and he wanted see how his old home had changed.
Frodo was wandering through the meadows full of many colorful flowers. He walked to where his feet led him, up a hill and along the hedge which was near the Old Forest. The warm sunshine invited him to lie down in the high grass and he finally did so, his glance getting lost in the blue sky and following the small white clouds.
The eyes of the Elves are like the blue sky... he began, but suddenly his attention was drawn away from his own thoughts to a silent, melodical humming which he heard nearby.
He rose and sat upright, watching his surroundings curiously. He had heard a voice - so there had to be someone. He looked all around and just before the figure disappeared among the trees, he saw her.
Someone was near. He was about to go and follow her, curious to see who it was and he liked the idea of talking to someone.
He got to his feet and walked towards the small forest. He picked up a light yellow flower and asked himself what its name was. Sam would be ashamed if he saw him like that, he thought, not knowing the name of the flower. But then, who was the gardner?
He took the flower and reached the forest.
Forest... this was good. In the shadow of the trees there grew mushrooms!
The sunlight found its way through the high trees and left bright spots on the ground. After all it was not too dark for a hobbit intending to find mushrooms. He could even find them blindly.
Soon he found some and bent to pick them up and put them into his pocket. Then he heard the voice again and raised his head.
Now he really wanted to know to whom this lovely voice belonged!
The fresh smell of the ground in the forest was all about him when he rose and finally saw the figure not far away. He listened closer, but she was only humming.
He stood in amazement and could have listened forever, but she stopped, looked at him and their eyes met. Frodo gazed at the friendly, open face of probably the most beautiful Hobbit he had ever seen. Her face was surrounded by long dark curls, she smiled warmly and in her hand she held a basket. She wore a dress of bright blue fabric and both of them still glanced at each other in silence. Frodo tried to say something, but nothing would come to mind. Finally he managed to stammer something that sounded quite silly to him. I heard you and... well, I just asked myself... nice to meet you.
He felt his heart being taken by a feeling that he hadnt felt for eternity, but it wasnt unknown to him at all. Deep gladness spread inside of him, the warmth of happiness grew when he looked into her eyes which seemed to be so full of secrets. Finally he heard her answer which startled him from dreaming.
ve been searching for mushrooms and didnt know there was someone near... well, then, what is your name?
It took a few seconds until Frodo unterstood that she was talking to him. He hesitated, but then took some steps forward.
Frodo Baggins is my name. My pleasure to meet you. He couldn't think of anything else to say and was silently calling himself a fool for repeating the same senseless phrases. So he was surprised to see her step forward to him and answer: My name is Liliane Bolger. But youre not unknown to me, a friend of my cousin Fredegar, arent you?
Slowly Frodo nodded. So this was she, the one Fatty had been talking about the day before! He could not stop looking at her and nervously put his hands into the pockets of his jacket. His fingers clasped the fabric and he tried to smile.
Yes. Fredegar is a friend of mine, but I dont know you!
He was suprised to have spoken a whole sentence by now, but Liliane only smiled and said: I see, but I lived in the northern Eastfarthing for long and seldom had the chance to visit Buckland. But youre not unknown to me at all. Wasn't it your name, and those of your friends, that people spoke of some years ago?
Somehow it didnt sound like the usual, ordinary curiosity, but more like - was is an understanding tone? Could that be?
Again he just nodded and began to walk towards the edge of the forest while answering. s right... weve been away for long and when we returned, we found nothing the way we left it. We just had to do something!
While walking beside her, he still could no help but look into her green eyes again. They sparkled cheekily and had a friendly warmth.
Slowly the conversation began. As their way led them to Brandy Hall Frodo told her about his visit.. His first shyness was soon forgotten, he didnt hesitate that much anymore, since her friendly, calm, and happy character forbade him to feel awkward for long. Whenever he risked a quick glance at her, their eyes met, so he often just stared to the ground. He asked himself what was happening right now.
He told her about his friend Sam, true fellow on the long journey, living with his family in Bag End of which he himself was the owner. He didnt tell her anything about the quest, but he had noticed her being aware of his right hand, the scar from the War of the Ring he would never be able to hide.
She seemed to feel that there was more that he wanted to say, but Frodo had the same thoughts concerning her. He got to know that she liked Fatty, she also mentioned herself that she had been married, but she didnt say much about the loss of her husband more than a year ago.
And you saw the Elves? she asked and Frodo smiled thoughtfully.
Yes, I did, in Rivendell and Lorien. One of them was a member of our fellowship, Legolas from Mirkwood.
Liliane gazed at him with big eyes and her face seemed to brighten when she heard his words, then she nodded.
d also like to meet some Elves, Ive heard so much about them and - well, Im curious.
She laughed and Frodo looked at her again, to hear her laughing was like a special kind of happiness that could nearly be touched. Happiness was what he felt in this moment, he enjoyed being with her when his first excitement had vanished. He was not good at making friends, but this time it was different.
He told her about Sams children and she laughed again which made him smile without even knowing it.
They were surprised to find themselves in front of Brandy Hall soon where Merry was roaming through the garden.
Frodo! Who... oh, Liliane! Welcome! he exclaimed and approached them. She smiled at him and then turned to Frodo.
d like to see you again! she said and turned to leave slowly. Frodo only managed to mumble something that sounded like .
Merry looked at him, wrinkled his brow and some time later Frodo had to force himself to look at his friend, although Liliane had disappeared behind the bend a while ago.
Very nice. Where did you meet her?
Frodo took a deep breath and said: In the forest. Searching for mushrooms.
Merry raised his eyebrow, but he said nothing.
Lost in his thoughts Frodo followed Merry, who was looking forward to having dinner. While Merry ate cheerfully Frodo simply moved the peas from side to side on his dish, staring down at his food but not really seeing it.
s wrong? Merry finally asked and let his fork sink. He was aware of Frodos lost glance and he suspected something, but first he wanted to hear it from Frodo himself.
After a long moment of silence which Merry was nearly about to break, Frodo murmured: I ask myself why Ive never met a friends cousin before!
Merry shook his head. You did so. Dont you remember? Before you left for Hobbiton, she visited us with Fatty.
Frodo raised his head and stared at the ceiling, considering his cousins words. Finally he nodded slowly, decided to eat and said: re right. She was here with Fatty. She laughed so much, you were telling old jokes...
Merry grinned in amusement and asked again: Honestly, Frodo, what's wrong?
s nothing. What would it be? Frodo stated, stared at the dish and took another bite.
Nothing, really?

Frodo knew it was a lie, but he didnt know what was wrong. Not exactly after all. He stared at the dish as if there was something amazing to be seen and then said: She is very nice.
She is. Youre right. Did you notice her glance?
Frodo looked at him directly. Which glance?
The glance she's been looking at you with all this time.
Looking at me?
Merry moaned. Of course she was looking at you. But it was still the same with you!
Now they both looked at each other in silence and didnt move. Frodo could not figure out what to think, but suddenly he said: What do you mean by that?
Oh, please! You know what I mean! Merry could hardly suppress a grin and suddenly burst out into loud laughter.
t make a fool of me, Frodo Baggins. I know you. Maybe you didnt notice yourself, but I can tell you what is going on!
Nothing is going on.
No, not at all. Its just - well, why not?
Again their eyes met and then Frodo began to eat as if he had been starving for weeks. He just wanted to prevent talking to Merry, he didnt know what to say anyway.
With a suppressed giggle Merry also finished his meal and kept silence. He had been right!
Suddenly an idea came to his mind and he grinned. He began to think of something.
s so funny? Frodo asked and Merry was roused.
Oh, nothing, really.
I dont believe a single word.
ll tell you something: If you dont want to talk to me, Ill tell you nothing either.
This was everything he would say and he hoped Frodo would tell him the truth, but he just stood up, took his dish and vanished into the kitchen. He left it through another door, leaving Merry alone with the amused smile in his face, staring out of the window.
Slowly dusk drew near and suddenly he murmured: This would be the right thing.

Frodo was lying on his bed and staring on the ceiling, he had placed his head on his hands and sighed unhappily. A strange feeling had taken hold of him - but it was not unknown to him at all. He could name it.
Without even noticing at first, a thought came to his mind that made him remember events from long ago. When he had come to Hobbiton to live at Bag End with his uncle Bilbo, he had met a young and very beautiful girl. Her hair had shone in the sun like gold. Frodo had been fascinated and one day he took his courage and began a conversation. The two of them had been sitting and eating sweet cherries one day and then another, they met often and their laughter had been heard nearby. Then one day Frodo came to see her with another young lad giving her some flowers. It had looked the way it had when he had been with her.
Somehow his feet had led him back home where his uncle had found him lying on his bed, buried under deep sadness and disappointment.
Sometimes you need patience, my dear Frodo, Bilbo had said. Frodo had told him nothing about the girl, but his uncle knew what troubled his heart.
Patience. Frodo had always been patient. And he had forgotten about the girl very soon and never had an experience like that again. Over the years he had not felt the need to search for this kind of happiness, his uncle had no wife, he did not really know this. He had known couples and proper little families as the one that he had onced belonged to before his parents death. Of course he had - but, unlike Sam, he had never wanted that for himself, too.
He had never been jealous. His interests were different ones, he lived the life that Bilbo had lived and even when Pippin got married, he did not consider to look for love.
Even Merry did - he had been doing so for years.
But not Frodo.
Now he had a family at Bag End! There was little Elanor and there was Sam who taught him many things about plants and their care. Rosie had shown him how to care for Elanor in every situation. He was so close to the girl. Therefore he had never been desiring a family for himself.
And he had never had the time either. At least not during the past years. The War of the Ring had endangered his life. He did not want anyone he loved to be involved! Sam had wanted to follow him with all his heart and without him he would have failed and died, but... his love for Sam was still so much different from what he felt for Liliane.
He would be marked by his fight for all his life. His missing finger would always remind him of his weakness. He had his punishment for that! This scar was never to be hidden.
But there was still another thing. He did not know for sure if he would always be able to stay in Middle-earth. And how should she bear the pain of losing him? He did not want to hurt her.
How should he ever explain to her what there had been in his past? She would not be able to cope with it! Sam had once told him that Rosie didnt know everything about the quest - because she did not want to.
Sam. His dear Sam. Frodo knew that at least Sam understood him, but Liliane could not do so. How would she ever be able to? Living in the Shire meant peace and calm. There was no evil, it existed only in far-off tales, but Liliane would never understand what Frodo had done - so she could not understand him.
He didnt want her to know these horrifying things. She did not deserve that!
Tears came to his eyes. Frodo hid his face behind his hand and held his breath.
There would be no excuse for telling her, he couldnt... it would destroy all happiness. And it would hurt so much, it would hurt both of them.
And she had already been hurt. She was probably still grieving for her lost husband!
But while still thinking of all these problems, Frodo suddenly desired to hear her laugh and see the warm smile in her open face. She was so beautiful...
Everything inside of him screamed, wanted nothing but her closeness - at once.
It was not just. It was unfair. He would give her everything, everything he had... he felt deep love for her.
He laid on his side and hid his face in the pillow. Convulsively sobbing he tried to stand the horrible feeling that tore him in two, but it was so hard to endure.
He clutched the pillow and felt how the love wanted to grow and not to be choked. But could he give it this chance?
He wanted it so bad...
Suddenly he felt a warm hand placed on his shoulder and turned his head. He recognized Merry in the gloom, kneeling before the bed and gazing at him in a troubled manner.
What, for my fathers sake, is it? Will you not tell me? he asked quietly. Frodo stopped sobbing and stammered: I cant, Merry... but theres nothing Id like more than that...
What, Frodo? What are you speaking of? Merry still did not wholly understand what his cousin meant. He rose and sat down on the bed beside Frodo. Slowly Frodo sat upright and wiped away the tears.
I cant do that to her, I cant tell her about everything that... do you understand? I have never felt such happiness as I have felt today in her presence, Id so much like to talk to her, but all that...
With a sigh Merry shook his head. You must not say so, Frodo. It is not your fault, its just the way it is and of course its not easy. I am sometimes startled by nightmares in which I see hideous orc-faces before me, but this is no reason for me to keep my feelings to myself. And believe me, Frodo, she would understand.
No! She would not! She just cant, Merry! I must not do that to her...
Silence spread. Both of them glanced at each other, but although Merry understood Frodo very well, he must not let him give up.
If it is your true wish, Frodo - and I think it is - you must not give up before it has even started! What are you afraid of?
Frodo lowered his head.
Look at me, Merry. Look at what it made of me. Dont you understand?
Merry didnt answer for a while. He knew very well that actually he was the last one to give advice now, but since there was nobody else, he had to.
Frodo, she knows you, said Merry. She heard so much and may I tell you something? She didnt care. I have seen that she was only interested in you, nothing else. These few moments were enough to make me realize!
With that he rose and looked at Frodo again, but then he decided that it would probably be better to leave him alone. He could not give real comfort to his friend - but someone different could.

For a long time Frodo had been unable to sleep, but once tiredness took him, he had had confusing dreams that he couldnt even remember later on. He felt terrible when he woke up the next morning. Merry came to fetch him for breakfast, but when Frodo was sitting at the table, he just stared at all the good things with his head supported by his hands and did not know what to do. He wasnt hungry at all.
You look as if someone has died, Merry tried to begin a conversation, but Frodo didnt react. Merry gave up. He knew what the reason for Frodos behaviour was, but he couldnt understand why Frodo was so depressed. He didnt know that feeling. Whenever he thought of Estella, his life seemed to brighten, but Frodo pretended his love would be the worst in the world.
Merry felt so helpless, but he decided to do nothing at first. It was not his business. He spent so much time with his cousin, but sometimes Frodo just left him to lie down on his bed, staring at the ceiling again, lost in desperate thoughts.
He had been able to deal with everything - save this love. He knew it was love, he felt it like he could feel himself breathing, but he couldnt reach this love. He couldnt reach Liliane. It was like an invisible wall between them. His past. His cursed past.
He decided to accept the facts and went down and outside to meet Merry in the garden.
Looks whos here! Shall we go and get our pipes? Id love some good weed! Merry suggested and so they were both sitting in broad sunlight smoking good Old Toby.
The days passed like that. Frodo didnt know whether it was two or three days, maybe even four, it didnt count anymore. Nothing counted.
Whenever the two of them began to chat about their relatives, Frodo tried so hard not to think of Liliane - but he didnt succeed. Her voice echoed in his head, he saw her smile, all her figure - all the time.
He missed her so much. Often he trapped himself considering to ask Merry about the place where she lived, but then he didnt ask.
He spent much time gazing down the road, searching for people to come. But there was only a lonely old Hobbit to be mentioned and two riders, nothing else moved there for hours. Frodo was so very disappointed.
But maybe she was waiting for him to come. He couldnt.
Another day passed. A day like eternity.
They went to Bucklebury for the market. Merry tried everything to cheer him up, but it was impossible. He knew that Frodo feared something, but this was something he couldnt change. Frodo would have to face it.
When it was the fourth night after Frodos first encounter with Liliane, he finally managed to concentrate on something different than her. Merry told him about his recent trip to Rohan again and it was captivating to listen to his words.
Still when he was lying in bed, the simple thought of his success in displacing it all ruined it. The thought of his success made him think of what he had managed to suppress.
This was no victory. With a sigh he turned about and closed his eyes, trying not to cry. It was useless.
He would die to see her again, but he must not.

She passed Fatty in the garden without even noticing.
How many? her cousin asked.
How many? What are you speaking of? Liliane replied. Then she stopped all of a sudden and turned about to look at him.
Mushrooms. How many mushrooms do you have?
She felt ashamed. She had forgotten about the mushrooms. In her basket there were only few, barely enough for one of them.
Oh... I am sorry, Fredegar, but... Ive been dreaming, kind of...
Fatty approached her and caught a climpse of the baskets content.
Well - these are few, but if we take a little more bread and...
I dont know how... Liliane began quietly and stared at the ground. Fatty regarded her from head to toe and shook his head.
I see... youre definitely dreaming. What happened?
Nothing... nothing happened. Ill go and prepare dinner! she answered quickly and left Fatty alone.
, he said and did not care anymore. For now.
With a sigh Liliane leaned against the wall after she had put away the basket.
She had left when it had been the most wonderful. His presence had been so pleasant.
Frodo Baggins. Yes, she had heard of him before, but she had also immediately noticed that he was different from what people said.
He was completely different.
Still her heart was beating fast. From the moment when she had seen him, she had wholly been taken by a strange kind of excitement which constantly grew - still it did so. It was also pleasant. It made her sigh only to think of his deep blue eyes and his smile.
Frodos shyness had touched her immediately. She did not know why he was so shy, but she intended to find out about that. This was her aim. She wanted to get closer to him.
The feeling of missing him grew steadily. She had never been expecting something like that - and it had happened. He had found her, they had looked at each other and immediately she had known that she felt deep sympathy for Frodo. It was out of the question.
It had been difficult to talk to him, but still he had some special kind of humour which she liked, he was very polite and seemed to be well educated. But there was more that made him special. She had been fascinated by his words about the Elves. She would give much to meet some!
They had laughed together in amusement.
If he only was thinking of her the way the same way as she did!
She had never been captured by this kind of inevitable appeal before. It was all different. But not only he was different, she herself was different, too.
If he only felt the same affection...
She sighed and thought of her lost husband. Liliane asked herself what Carl would think if he saw her like that. But he had always said he would never like to see her sad - and sad she wasnt now. It was the opposite of sadness.
A new love, this was what she wanted. And she was longing for a tender embrace, just the way it could only be given by someone beloved.
There was so much warmth inside her. Could it be love?
She had just met him! But she couldnt get Frodo out of her head. She didnt even want to.
Slowly she moved and took the mushrooms, prepared them for the meal and baked them with a little cheese. She knew Fatty loved that - and she liked it, too.
She cut the mushrooms with a knife, she did it very fast and in a determined manner, just as if she was about to tell them that she had made her decision.
She missed him already. She missed him so much.
But... what if he was married?
At once she laid away the knife and a big mushroom, turned and wanted to run outside to Fatty, but he had already been on his way back inside the house and they nearly collided.
Whoa! Take care, Liliane! What is it? Youre strange.
Fatty, you know Frodo Baggins, dont you? she asked and let her hands sink. Her eyes showed her hope that did not want to be destroyed, but Fatty was confused at first.
course I do. Why...
Is he married?
The question had to be asked, she must not lose time. Fattys eyes grew bigger, then he suddenly smiled.
I see! You met him today, didnt you?

Eh - no, I think hes still unmarried like his Uncle Bilbo... or he had a wedding and didnt tell me, but that would be strange. Now tell me, why do you ask?
A broad smile appeared on her face and Fatty took her hand.
m waiting! he said.
Just... eh... nothing, she tried to draw his attention away from the subject, but it didnt work out.
Nothing. Yes, why should your eyes shine the way they do if there was nothing... Liliane, dont take me as blind or stupid. You like him!
Liliane blushed and raised her head, but still looked up to him from below. Fatty grinned.
Nothing to say to that? Well... hes nice. Hes got a good character. And hes not poor...


Liliane made a face. Sometimes he hated his childish behaviour.
re... ah, I dont know what you are! she called, turned and went back into the kitchen. Fredegar followed her.
Come on. You dont need to be ashamed of that. Its wonderful!
Fatty, I met him today. It was our very first encounter. What do you expect?
Fatty expected everything, but he didnt say that loud. Liliane continued cutting the mushrooms into smaller pieces.
I expect him to come and... well...
But he is shy, isnt he? Liliane remarked. Fatty nodded. Then she said: And what if he doesnt want to...?
I will push him against you if hes unable to move. Look at you! Youre pretty and lovely and... hes no idiot. Dont worry, hes just shy, but I am sure that he will do something, otherwise Ill help him to do so!
Liliane shrugged. As long as Fatty was pleased with the situation... she wasnt.

She still wasnt when some days had passed without further events. She was everything but pleased!
Liliane knew that she had to be patient. But she was losing her courage. For hours she had been walking through the garden and giving some water to the flowers which did need no water at all, only to be able to look down the road, searching for a tiny sign. But there was nothing. Frodo didnt come.
She had to wait. It was his task to do the next step. She didnt like it, but she couldnt change it.
Fatty watched her sitting by the window, staring outside with no success. Frodo just didnt come.
Liliane hoped so bad that Frodo would have enough courage to find his way to her - if he wanted to. How could she ever be sure of that?
There were times when she was sure that he was just too shy. But sometimes she was sure that he had no interest to come. They had met and they had spent a nice afternoon together - but when she remembered Carl who had spent days following her just to see her for a second... it was so unlike that.
Probably he had even forgotten her name already.
Then she nearly decided to go to Brandy Hall where she would find him - but could she dare to? Actually she had nothing to lose... she didnt want Frodo to feel awkward.
But something had to happen!
Fredegar offered her to try and talk to his friend of old, but she asked him not to do so. It would all be wrong.
And it was all wrong already.
She didnt know how many days had passed uselessly. Too many. Deep sadness took her, she felt depressed and hopeless, lonely and lost. The intense feeling of warmth and love had turned to the contrary.
There was no doubt anymore. She was in love and there was no greater wish in her than to see him again, but it seemed as if this dream would never come true.
She remembered that he had never really spoken about the events that had caused his so very visible scar. It was obvious that he hid something. Could that be the reason?
If he only would trust her...
She had feared to spend all her life alone after Carls death. And now the new hope of a new love was already destroyed.
Maybe it would be the easiest to accept the fact that her love had to die unanswered.
But she was wrong.