The whole ride there I wanted to just curl up in a little ball and die.
How could I have been so stupid? I knew what happened with Sean would
happen with Race. But did I listen to myself? No, I went and fell head
over heels for the boy. And not only did he hurt me like Sean, he hurt me
ten, no, a hundred times worse. It had been at least eight years since
Sean, and I thought I was finally going to be able to overcome my fear of
people letting me down. I guess I was just stupid for falling for Race.
I mean I loved Brooklyn, and Spot was the greatest. But I wouldn't go
back. I never wanted to see Race ever again.
The train finally arrived in Arizona. I randomly jumped out this time, not caring if I hurt myself, because honestly, I didn't care anymore. I fell from the train and immediately regretted being stupid and no looking were I was jumping. I scratched myself up real bad, hurt my wrist, and even worse, I was still alive. I could've at least found a more dangerous place to fall. I walked into town, wondering where I would stay for the night. I found a bar that looked extremely popular, and decided to see if they needed a piano player. I had learned to play by an elderly woman in New Mexico. Santa Fe, actually. Maybe I would stop by here house, while I was there for Jack.
"Hello, sir." I said to the bartender.
"Ma'am. What can I get for ya?"
"Oh, I'm not here for a drink. I was wondering if I could speak to the owner." The man raised an eyebrow and then finally answered after handing a shot of whiskey to another customer.
"Well, that would be me. What can I do for ya, Miss?"
"I was wondering if you needed any help around here. Waiting tables, entertainment wise, anything at all."
"Well, we usually have random gals entertain, but I could always use a permanent one. What do ya do? Sing, dance, walk around and look purty?"
"I play the piano very well, I'm not much of a singer or dancer, but I'm willing to walk around and look pretty if it gets me a job."
"I was just joking about the pruty comment, but if your that dedicated to get a job, then I might be able ta get ya in here as a piano player. Let's see how good ya play." He led me over to an old piano and I took a seat. I played the fanciest song I knew, so I would look like I knew what I was doing. The guy seemed to think so, so he gave me the job. Much to my delight, he offered a room above the bar for free. It was only a storage room, but so what, it was better than the streets.
After a few weeks working at the bar, I began thinking less and less about Race and the other newsies, and more and more about where I was headed next. I had become pretty good friends with Jimmy, the owner, but besides him and a couple of regulars, I kept to myself.
"Heya Diane, play that one song I like." Jason, a regular, asked, his voice slurred. I had told them my name was Diane. I figured being called Chrys would just bring back memories of New York, and I definitely didn't want that.
"Anything for ya, Jason." I played a fast pace song that seemed to lift the spirits of everyone in the room. This song was one of my favorites, it made everyone want to get up and dance, and every couple in the bar did just that.
After Jason's song, I played a few more and then went behind the bar to help Jimmy fill orders. A young woman, quite a few years older than me, sang songs to keep the house entertained. She reminded me a lot of Medda, and I cursed her in my mind for coming to this particular bar.
I fixed a few drinks, talked to Jason some more, and made my way upstairs. I had only been in Arizona for a month or so, but I decided I would probably head over to New Mexico in a week or so.
When my week was up, Jimmy walked me to the train station. He refused to let me stowaway in a boxcar, so he bought me a ticket. For riding trains almost every other month, I have never actually sat in a seat and found it much more enjoyable than hiding behind boxes in a luggage car.
The train pulled into the station bright and early. From there I began my trek to see how Rose was doing. It took me all day to get to Rose's house. It had been a while since I had been in Santa Fe, but it seemed like I had been there this whole time. I honestly don't think anything changed at all. I don't think I'll ever understand what Jack finds so interesting here, but then again, I didn't understand anything about Jack. I made my way up to Rose's front door and began to knock. I hesitated, wondering if she would still live there. I decided that if I didn't knock I would never find out. I waited a few moments, before a young girl opened the door. I was upset that it wasn't Rose, but I figured that maybe, just maybe they would know what happened to her.
"Hello. Is your mother or father home?"
"No, ma'am. But my grandma is, do ya want to talk to her?"
"Yes please."
The girl let me into the house, and led me to the kitchen.
"Who was at the door, child?" said a women putting cookies in the oven.
"Rose?"
"Joanne?" That's the name I gave Rose last time I saw her.
"The one and only. You didn't tell me you had a granddaughter!" Now that I looked at her, she had many attributes that Rose possessed. They had the same nose, the same gorgeous green eyes, and the same smile.
"I didn't know until five months ago. And she's quite the little angel. Julie, this is Joanne. Joanne, Julie." Rose led me out to the living room and poured me some lemonade.
I started to ask where the Julie's parents were, but Rose cut me off, "Julie, would you be a dear and check on the cookies in the oven?" When Julie was out of ear shot, Rose explained to me that Julie's parents had died in a fire, and it was still a touchy subject, one that shouldn't be talked about in front of the poor girl. When she spoke of not speaking about Julie's past, I immediately began thinking about New York, and how Spot had questioned me on my past. Rose must have noticed the sorrow in my eyes, because she gave a certain look. It wasn't a sympathetic look, just a look that says 'I know what you're going through'. I didn't doubt it, when Rose was my age she was also a tumbleweed and hopped around from place to place. She didn't do it for the same reasons as me, but she did it none the less.
She smiled, "So where have you been, child?"
The train finally arrived in Arizona. I randomly jumped out this time, not caring if I hurt myself, because honestly, I didn't care anymore. I fell from the train and immediately regretted being stupid and no looking were I was jumping. I scratched myself up real bad, hurt my wrist, and even worse, I was still alive. I could've at least found a more dangerous place to fall. I walked into town, wondering where I would stay for the night. I found a bar that looked extremely popular, and decided to see if they needed a piano player. I had learned to play by an elderly woman in New Mexico. Santa Fe, actually. Maybe I would stop by here house, while I was there for Jack.
"Hello, sir." I said to the bartender.
"Ma'am. What can I get for ya?"
"Oh, I'm not here for a drink. I was wondering if I could speak to the owner." The man raised an eyebrow and then finally answered after handing a shot of whiskey to another customer.
"Well, that would be me. What can I do for ya, Miss?"
"I was wondering if you needed any help around here. Waiting tables, entertainment wise, anything at all."
"Well, we usually have random gals entertain, but I could always use a permanent one. What do ya do? Sing, dance, walk around and look purty?"
"I play the piano very well, I'm not much of a singer or dancer, but I'm willing to walk around and look pretty if it gets me a job."
"I was just joking about the pruty comment, but if your that dedicated to get a job, then I might be able ta get ya in here as a piano player. Let's see how good ya play." He led me over to an old piano and I took a seat. I played the fanciest song I knew, so I would look like I knew what I was doing. The guy seemed to think so, so he gave me the job. Much to my delight, he offered a room above the bar for free. It was only a storage room, but so what, it was better than the streets.
After a few weeks working at the bar, I began thinking less and less about Race and the other newsies, and more and more about where I was headed next. I had become pretty good friends with Jimmy, the owner, but besides him and a couple of regulars, I kept to myself.
"Heya Diane, play that one song I like." Jason, a regular, asked, his voice slurred. I had told them my name was Diane. I figured being called Chrys would just bring back memories of New York, and I definitely didn't want that.
"Anything for ya, Jason." I played a fast pace song that seemed to lift the spirits of everyone in the room. This song was one of my favorites, it made everyone want to get up and dance, and every couple in the bar did just that.
After Jason's song, I played a few more and then went behind the bar to help Jimmy fill orders. A young woman, quite a few years older than me, sang songs to keep the house entertained. She reminded me a lot of Medda, and I cursed her in my mind for coming to this particular bar.
I fixed a few drinks, talked to Jason some more, and made my way upstairs. I had only been in Arizona for a month or so, but I decided I would probably head over to New Mexico in a week or so.
When my week was up, Jimmy walked me to the train station. He refused to let me stowaway in a boxcar, so he bought me a ticket. For riding trains almost every other month, I have never actually sat in a seat and found it much more enjoyable than hiding behind boxes in a luggage car.
The train pulled into the station bright and early. From there I began my trek to see how Rose was doing. It took me all day to get to Rose's house. It had been a while since I had been in Santa Fe, but it seemed like I had been there this whole time. I honestly don't think anything changed at all. I don't think I'll ever understand what Jack finds so interesting here, but then again, I didn't understand anything about Jack. I made my way up to Rose's front door and began to knock. I hesitated, wondering if she would still live there. I decided that if I didn't knock I would never find out. I waited a few moments, before a young girl opened the door. I was upset that it wasn't Rose, but I figured that maybe, just maybe they would know what happened to her.
"Hello. Is your mother or father home?"
"No, ma'am. But my grandma is, do ya want to talk to her?"
"Yes please."
The girl let me into the house, and led me to the kitchen.
"Who was at the door, child?" said a women putting cookies in the oven.
"Rose?"
"Joanne?" That's the name I gave Rose last time I saw her.
"The one and only. You didn't tell me you had a granddaughter!" Now that I looked at her, she had many attributes that Rose possessed. They had the same nose, the same gorgeous green eyes, and the same smile.
"I didn't know until five months ago. And she's quite the little angel. Julie, this is Joanne. Joanne, Julie." Rose led me out to the living room and poured me some lemonade.
I started to ask where the Julie's parents were, but Rose cut me off, "Julie, would you be a dear and check on the cookies in the oven?" When Julie was out of ear shot, Rose explained to me that Julie's parents had died in a fire, and it was still a touchy subject, one that shouldn't be talked about in front of the poor girl. When she spoke of not speaking about Julie's past, I immediately began thinking about New York, and how Spot had questioned me on my past. Rose must have noticed the sorrow in my eyes, because she gave a certain look. It wasn't a sympathetic look, just a look that says 'I know what you're going through'. I didn't doubt it, when Rose was my age she was also a tumbleweed and hopped around from place to place. She didn't do it for the same reasons as me, but she did it none the less.
She smiled, "So where have you been, child?"