I didn't even know where to begin; I had been so many places since Santa
Fe. "You know, anywhere the wind takes me."
"You know what I mean, child. Have you been anywhere special? Anywhere out of the ordinary?"
I debated on mentioning New York to her, but decided against it. "Nope, same old."
Rose raised an eyebrow; she could always tell when I was lying. I finally gave in and indulged her with every single detail about New York. Rose seemed pleased I had finally let someone into my life and Julie was utterly speechless when hearing my story. She was mesmerized by the concept of being a newsy in New York. But she seemed under the impression that life was a fairy tale, and appeared immune to the cruel reality that took place. I wish I was young and naïve like her, but I had encountered far too much to live in a fantasy world. I knew what barbarous and unjustifiable things happened every day. Looking at Julie and Rose's faces broke my heart. I couldn't bear to tell them what Race did to me.
"I really loved it there, but I decided it was time to leave," I finished, then trying to change the subject, "Oh, Rose, I was wondering if I could stay here for a day or two."
"You know you're always welcomed, child."
"Thank you. I'm assuming Julie is in the guest bedroom, so should I just take the couch?"
Rose began, but Julie quickly interrupted, "You can stay with me! If you want to share the bed, it's big enough for the both of us!"
I smiled at Julie's generosity, "Thank you, that would be great."
After a delicious home cooked meal, and a few cookies, I found myself overcome with exhaustion, so I said my goodnights and headed to bed.
I had been at Rose's for a little over a month when Julie asked me something we hadn't spoken about since the day I arrived, "Why'd you leave?"
"Huh?"
"New York. If you were so happy, why'd you leave?"
"Because, when you travel like I do, you can't stay in one place for long. It just doesn't seem right." It was a horrible lie, and I knew Julie wouldn't buy it.
"Is that the truth?"
"Yea."
"No it's not."
"Yes it is."
"You're lying!"
"No I'm not!"
"Either you're lying or you're stupid." I looked at her confused. Either I was lying or stupid? What the hell did that mean?
"What?" Oh I couldn't wait for this explanation.
"Something must have happened to make you leave," she started. How she figured that was far beyond me, but somehow she had figured out the truth. She continued talking about how she knew I was lying, but I wasn't listening, I was lost in my own thoughts. When she finished I looked at her questionably.
"And if I'm telling the truth, how am I stupid?"
She smiled as if I had asked the easiest question on earth, "If you don't know, then you really are stupid." Honestly, I had no idea what the girl was talking about, but I wasn't about to admit it. I just nodded and decided to change the subject. Since she knew I was lying about my reasons for leaving I enlightened Julie with the real reasons, Race and Truth.
When I finished the true ending of my story, Julie sat speechless, eyes wide and mouth open in utter disbelief. Realizing she was gaping at me, Julie shut her mouth and began to contemplate something. Honestly, I'm not sure if I wanted to know what was going on in that head of hers, but she decided to enlighten me, none the less.
"That's still not a very good reason for leaving," she finally said.
"What do you mean? He betrayed me! I never want to see him again! Never!"
Julie gave me a weird look, a look I didn't understand. It looked like she pitied me for my foolishness, but it also seemed like she longed for my situation. "Joanne, don't you understand? You found a place where you belong! A place where people care for you! You so scared of God knows what, that you just looked for a reason to leave! I mean, for all anyone knows, maybe Race has a good explanation for what he did!"
My face reddened with anger. I don't think I could even think straight I was so angry. "Who do you think you are to talk to me like that? What the hell do you know anyway? You're just a little girl that pretends like the world is some damn paradise! You can't even bring yourself to face your parent's death! Rose told me everything!"
Julie looked shocked for a moment, maybe even scared. I had never spoken harshly to her and I don't think she expected me to bring her parents into this, but seriously, who did she think she was? I thought she would break down and run out crying. Boy was I wrong; she just stood up straighter and continued to fight. "I think I'm the only person you haven't cut out of your life yet that cares! And if you think that I don't know what's going on in this God forsaken world, you've got another thing coming! And what are you talking about, I can't bring myself to face my parent's death? I was there; I saw it. I understand what happened and I've spent enough time crying over it, so now I'm moving on with my life!"
"Then why did Rose tell me not to talk about it to you? I mean, they died in a fire. Probably in a factory or apartment, right? They're not the only people who have died in a fire!"
Julie just laughed, "A factory fire? Maybe you should get your story right before trying to use it against me! My father got fired from his job, so he started dealing with dishonest men. My mom didn't agree with it, but we needed the money, so she didn't object. On night my mom had just finished tucking me into bed when there was a knock at the door. Four big guys came into out house and found my mom and dad. They didn't know about me, so I was left alone in the house. I followed the four guys and my mom and dad until they reached an abandoned warehouse. I didn't understand what was going on until it was too late. They tied up my parents and poured water on them. Then the men then poured a trail of water from my tied up parents to the door. One of them said something about my dad double crossing them and the four men began to leave. I was about to leave my hiding spot to untie my parents when one of the guys with a cigarette in his mouth turned around. He smiled at my parents and waved at them. He turned around, but before shutting the door, threw the cigarette over his shoulder. That's when I realized it wasn't water they had poured all over my parents, but gasoline. I watched my parents burn alive, I listened to the fire crackle and my mother scream," a single tear slid down Julie's check, "I still have nightmares about it sometimes."
"I'm sorry, Julie." I stepped towards her to try and comfort her, but she stepped back.
"Don't be sorry. Don't try and comfort me. I have been handling it since I came to Rose's and I've been doing just fine without you pitying me, thank you! I would kill for what you had in New York! A lot of people would! And you just went and threw it away because of some guy! Think about it! You had a place where you belonged, where you were loved! What are you so scared of?"
Through the whole argument Julie didn't yell, she didn't talk over her normal volume at all, in fact, she spoke softly to me. Poor Julie, she had been through so much. She was so wise beyond her years. And if I had really thought about what she said or if I weren't so stubborn I would have realized what she said made perfect sense. But instead, I packed my bags and left Santa Fe. I didn't even say goodbye; I just left. I had no clue where I was going, but I knew I had to get out of there, so I just jumped on the first train I saw.
"You know what I mean, child. Have you been anywhere special? Anywhere out of the ordinary?"
I debated on mentioning New York to her, but decided against it. "Nope, same old."
Rose raised an eyebrow; she could always tell when I was lying. I finally gave in and indulged her with every single detail about New York. Rose seemed pleased I had finally let someone into my life and Julie was utterly speechless when hearing my story. She was mesmerized by the concept of being a newsy in New York. But she seemed under the impression that life was a fairy tale, and appeared immune to the cruel reality that took place. I wish I was young and naïve like her, but I had encountered far too much to live in a fantasy world. I knew what barbarous and unjustifiable things happened every day. Looking at Julie and Rose's faces broke my heart. I couldn't bear to tell them what Race did to me.
"I really loved it there, but I decided it was time to leave," I finished, then trying to change the subject, "Oh, Rose, I was wondering if I could stay here for a day or two."
"You know you're always welcomed, child."
"Thank you. I'm assuming Julie is in the guest bedroom, so should I just take the couch?"
Rose began, but Julie quickly interrupted, "You can stay with me! If you want to share the bed, it's big enough for the both of us!"
I smiled at Julie's generosity, "Thank you, that would be great."
After a delicious home cooked meal, and a few cookies, I found myself overcome with exhaustion, so I said my goodnights and headed to bed.
I had been at Rose's for a little over a month when Julie asked me something we hadn't spoken about since the day I arrived, "Why'd you leave?"
"Huh?"
"New York. If you were so happy, why'd you leave?"
"Because, when you travel like I do, you can't stay in one place for long. It just doesn't seem right." It was a horrible lie, and I knew Julie wouldn't buy it.
"Is that the truth?"
"Yea."
"No it's not."
"Yes it is."
"You're lying!"
"No I'm not!"
"Either you're lying or you're stupid." I looked at her confused. Either I was lying or stupid? What the hell did that mean?
"What?" Oh I couldn't wait for this explanation.
"Something must have happened to make you leave," she started. How she figured that was far beyond me, but somehow she had figured out the truth. She continued talking about how she knew I was lying, but I wasn't listening, I was lost in my own thoughts. When she finished I looked at her questionably.
"And if I'm telling the truth, how am I stupid?"
She smiled as if I had asked the easiest question on earth, "If you don't know, then you really are stupid." Honestly, I had no idea what the girl was talking about, but I wasn't about to admit it. I just nodded and decided to change the subject. Since she knew I was lying about my reasons for leaving I enlightened Julie with the real reasons, Race and Truth.
When I finished the true ending of my story, Julie sat speechless, eyes wide and mouth open in utter disbelief. Realizing she was gaping at me, Julie shut her mouth and began to contemplate something. Honestly, I'm not sure if I wanted to know what was going on in that head of hers, but she decided to enlighten me, none the less.
"That's still not a very good reason for leaving," she finally said.
"What do you mean? He betrayed me! I never want to see him again! Never!"
Julie gave me a weird look, a look I didn't understand. It looked like she pitied me for my foolishness, but it also seemed like she longed for my situation. "Joanne, don't you understand? You found a place where you belong! A place where people care for you! You so scared of God knows what, that you just looked for a reason to leave! I mean, for all anyone knows, maybe Race has a good explanation for what he did!"
My face reddened with anger. I don't think I could even think straight I was so angry. "Who do you think you are to talk to me like that? What the hell do you know anyway? You're just a little girl that pretends like the world is some damn paradise! You can't even bring yourself to face your parent's death! Rose told me everything!"
Julie looked shocked for a moment, maybe even scared. I had never spoken harshly to her and I don't think she expected me to bring her parents into this, but seriously, who did she think she was? I thought she would break down and run out crying. Boy was I wrong; she just stood up straighter and continued to fight. "I think I'm the only person you haven't cut out of your life yet that cares! And if you think that I don't know what's going on in this God forsaken world, you've got another thing coming! And what are you talking about, I can't bring myself to face my parent's death? I was there; I saw it. I understand what happened and I've spent enough time crying over it, so now I'm moving on with my life!"
"Then why did Rose tell me not to talk about it to you? I mean, they died in a fire. Probably in a factory or apartment, right? They're not the only people who have died in a fire!"
Julie just laughed, "A factory fire? Maybe you should get your story right before trying to use it against me! My father got fired from his job, so he started dealing with dishonest men. My mom didn't agree with it, but we needed the money, so she didn't object. On night my mom had just finished tucking me into bed when there was a knock at the door. Four big guys came into out house and found my mom and dad. They didn't know about me, so I was left alone in the house. I followed the four guys and my mom and dad until they reached an abandoned warehouse. I didn't understand what was going on until it was too late. They tied up my parents and poured water on them. Then the men then poured a trail of water from my tied up parents to the door. One of them said something about my dad double crossing them and the four men began to leave. I was about to leave my hiding spot to untie my parents when one of the guys with a cigarette in his mouth turned around. He smiled at my parents and waved at them. He turned around, but before shutting the door, threw the cigarette over his shoulder. That's when I realized it wasn't water they had poured all over my parents, but gasoline. I watched my parents burn alive, I listened to the fire crackle and my mother scream," a single tear slid down Julie's check, "I still have nightmares about it sometimes."
"I'm sorry, Julie." I stepped towards her to try and comfort her, but she stepped back.
"Don't be sorry. Don't try and comfort me. I have been handling it since I came to Rose's and I've been doing just fine without you pitying me, thank you! I would kill for what you had in New York! A lot of people would! And you just went and threw it away because of some guy! Think about it! You had a place where you belonged, where you were loved! What are you so scared of?"
Through the whole argument Julie didn't yell, she didn't talk over her normal volume at all, in fact, she spoke softly to me. Poor Julie, she had been through so much. She was so wise beyond her years. And if I had really thought about what she said or if I weren't so stubborn I would have realized what she said made perfect sense. But instead, I packed my bags and left Santa Fe. I didn't even say goodbye; I just left. I had no clue where I was going, but I knew I had to get out of there, so I just jumped on the first train I saw.