A/N: Here's another chapter! LOVE ME! Actually, don't. Or do. Just drop a
nice review. I can rhyme! It's a miracle! **Bows down to Sephiroth shrine**
(Yes, I'm a Sephist.)
Disclaimer: You know . . .
**Quote of the Day** "Trapped. Like rats. In a Chia Pet®." - Frank the Pug, MIB II
'thinking' "speaking" (Author cutting in)
The Cursed Wakka Doll by MoMo-ChAn and Choco
Chapter 6
Wakka and Seymour were no longer skipping. Wakka got tired of that and told Seymour that if they didn't stop skipping one of them would die. So Seymour stopped skipping. They were now walking. But Seymour was thinking . . .
"You said you'd take over Spira with the doll, right?"
"Yeah."
"But the others have the doll."
Wakka stopped. Seymour stopped too. Now, you all remember Wakka's evil, right? Well, now his eyes, which were bright because he was smart, began to become dimmer. Seymour stared at him and poked him.
"Are you all right?"
Wakka turned to Seymour. Blinking, he looked down at his blitzball. Then he looked back up at Seymour. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. Then he became angry, jumped away from Seymour, and went into his STUPID battle position. Seymour just stared.
"What the hell are you doing?!" Seymour shouted.
"You're supposed to be dead, ya?" Wakka shouted back then threw his blitzball with all his might at Seymour's face.
POW! Down goes Seymour! His eyes went swirly. Then the authoress, deciding Seymour is not worthy of the Swirly-Eyed Technique (© to Rurouni Kenshin), changed his eyes to Xs. Sure, Xs usually mean death and Seymour isn't dead, but WHO CARES?!
Wakka held his blitzball and glared down at his fallen enemy. Or is it ally? I'm confused. I think Wakka is too. Anyway, Wakka put his foot on Seymour's chest.
"HA! I've beaten you Seymour!" he shouted to his unconscious foe/ally. Taking his foot OFF the Guado, he took a look around. He was in Guadosalam. Guadosalam? When the hell did he get here? Last thing he remembered was being in Zanarkand hurting like hell and telling the others to bury him in Luca. Or Besaid, it didn't really matter to him at the time.
Wakka thought for a little while. 'I must be dead,' he thought, not knowing about his evil personality. 'Oh crap, if I'm dead, then I how am I here, ya? I must be a-a-a GHOST, ya!' Wakka's eyes widened at his little revelation. 'NO, ya!'
Just then, Tidus, Yuna, Auron, Kimahri, Lulu, and Rikku were coming out of the Farplane. They were arguing. Except for Auron, who considers himself above that.
"Should have let Kimahri kill stupid Guado child. Stupid Guado child dead, Seymour dead. Simple."
"Hey Kimahri, how were we supposed to know Seymour was back? I mean, we did kill him like a year and a half ago!" Rikku said. "Even though we had to kill him four times."
Wakka turned around at their voices. He looked sad, staring at his living friends. He walked up to Tidus and put a hand on his shoulder.
"You're a good buddy, ya?" he said, sniffling.
Tidus looked at him. Wasn't Wakka supposed to be crazy and trying to take over the world by making everyone Yevonites? Shouldn't the Wakka be trying to kill him?
"RELEASE ME, ya?! Master needs me, ya?" screamed the little doll.
"Oh shut up. Wakka, what are you doing?" Tidus said, starting to back away from the gravity-defying red hair guy. Wakka's eyes grew wide.
"YOU CAN SEE ME, YA?!"
Yuna held back a laugh. "Yes, we can see you Wakka . . ."
"An' we're not gonna let ya turn everyone in Spira into zombie Yevonites!" Rikku shouted, pointing a gloved finger at him. Wakka stared at her blankly.
"What are you talking about, ya?" he said, scratching his head.
Auron stepped forward. "You and Seymour just came out of the Farplane. You teamed up to take over the world, remember?"
Wakka gave Auron a funny look. "I'm dead, ya."
Lulu sighed in exasperation. "You are NOT dead Wakka. You are alive and you and Seymour are trying to take over the world!"
"Oh. Well, if Seymour and I are partners, then how come I knocked him out, ya?"
"You knocked out Seymour?"
"Uh-huh."
Everyone went over and stared at the unconscious Seymour. Wakka smiled proudly and held up his blitzball. "I knocked him out, ALL by myself, ya?"
Lulu's face scrunched up the tiniest bit to show that she was thinking. She looked at Wakka, then the doll, then Seymour. 'What was Tidus' theory about that stupid doll? Oh yes . . . the split personalities . . .'
His eyes darting about, Kimahri poked Seymour with his spear. Making sure that no one was watching him, he poked Seymour again. Finding it was really FUN to poke Seymour with a sharp object, he continued to poke him. Twenty pokes later, Yuna noticed.
"Kimahri, what are you doing?"
"Kimahri is poking stupid Seymour."
Yuna went to Kimahri's side and looked at the spot where Kimahri continuously poked Seymour. It was bleeding. A lot. It looked like Seymour was twitching from the poking. Now Yuna was faced with a hard decision. Should she stop Kimahri from poking Seymour or allow Kimahri to continue to poke Seymour, which would lead to his death? Well, she didn't LIKE Seymour. The sorry piece of a this-is-a-PG-fic-let's-keep-it-clean did force her to MARRY him after the guy was DEAD. That was disturbing. In her childhood, she never ONCE imagined she would marry a dead guy. And he did try to kill them . . . several times . . .
"OK Kimahri, just don't poke him in one spot," Yuna said, patting Kimahri's furry blue arm (I WANNA KIMAHRI PLUSHIE! IT'S GOTTA BE REALLY FUZZY!) and walked away.
But all the poking led to Seymour regaining consciousness. He opened his eyes and sat up. Kimahri stopped poking him, although he really wanted to shove his spear through the stupid Guado's face and laugh. That would be fun.
Lulu was talking to everybody (except Kimahri because he was poking Seymour) and reminding them of Tidus' theory. Wakka scratched his head.
"So I have an evil personality that's trying to take over the world?"
"LEMME GO!" screamed the Wakka doll. Tidus, tired of the stupid doll, told it that if it didn't shut up he would cast Fire on it. The doll shut up.
"Seymour is awake," Kimahri said, tapping Auron's shoulder.
Seymour was standing now, and he was ANGRY. Instead of trying to attack and kill them all, Seymour ran in the other direction. At first everyone wondered why. Then Auron realized why Seymour was running the other way.
"He's going to the zombie Yevonite Wakka-filled airship!" Auron shouted, running after Seymour, the others not far behind.
"Does he know how to operate machina?!" cried Lulu.
"Didn't you see Bevelle temple? There was machina all over the place! And Seymour was a maester," Auron replied, not slowing.
"What's going on, ya? What's this about zombie Yevonite Wakka-filled airships, ya?" asked Wakka. No one bothered to answer. 'No one cares, ya?'
Seymour had reached the airship. He looked at the control panel that had lots of buttons. If he pushed the right buttons, it would open. He stared at it for a little while . . .
"There he is!"
Scowling at the sound of Tidus' voice, Seymour curled his hand into a fist and slammed ALL the buttons. What he didn't know is that one must slam all the buttons to open the door. So the door opened. Seymour ran on board.
The authoress and the co-author have decided to talk to you, the reader. Are you enjoying this fanfic? Does it suit part of you humor needs? Are you wondering how in the name of seven hells Seymour is running in that crappy outfit of his? Well, it is one of the great mysteries of our time. Oh, is there anyone you'd like to go crazy in this fanfic (Seymour and Wakka excluded)? And yes, there is Wakka bashing because we don't like Wakka very much. While he is a powerful character, he's annoying. Back to the fic.
"He's on the airship!" Yuna cried.
"HURRY!" screamed Rikku, newfound energy going through her and getting ahead of the rest of the others.
Seymour kept running. He had to alert the zombie Yevonites! He had to!
CRASH!
Seymour ran straight into zombie-Brother. Brother stared at him. Seymour sighed.
"You are a Yevonite, are you not?" Seymour asked Brother.
"Yes. You must be converted . . ."
THWACK!
NEWEST YEVONITE: SEYMOUR GUADO
***END OF THE CHAPTER***
A/N: DONE!
Choco: I can't believe you made Seymour a Yevonite!
MoMo: Ah, well, I decided he was getting annoying.
Choco: And **sniffs** I miss Morty . . .
MoMo: GET OVER IT! Morty's gone! He couldn't stay! You can go visit him in Antarctica next week.
Choco: **sniffs again** OK . . .
MoMo: **points to readers** I BET YOU DIDN'T EXPECT ME TO MAKE SEYMOUR A ZOMBIE YEVONITE WAKKA!
Choco: What does a zombie Yevonite Wakka-like Seymour look like?
**Both shudder as mental image forms in their minds**
Disclaimer: You know . . .
**Quote of the Day** "Trapped. Like rats. In a Chia Pet®." - Frank the Pug, MIB II
'thinking' "speaking" (Author cutting in)
The Cursed Wakka Doll by MoMo-ChAn and Choco
Chapter 6
Wakka and Seymour were no longer skipping. Wakka got tired of that and told Seymour that if they didn't stop skipping one of them would die. So Seymour stopped skipping. They were now walking. But Seymour was thinking . . .
"You said you'd take over Spira with the doll, right?"
"Yeah."
"But the others have the doll."
Wakka stopped. Seymour stopped too. Now, you all remember Wakka's evil, right? Well, now his eyes, which were bright because he was smart, began to become dimmer. Seymour stared at him and poked him.
"Are you all right?"
Wakka turned to Seymour. Blinking, he looked down at his blitzball. Then he looked back up at Seymour. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. Then he became angry, jumped away from Seymour, and went into his STUPID battle position. Seymour just stared.
"What the hell are you doing?!" Seymour shouted.
"You're supposed to be dead, ya?" Wakka shouted back then threw his blitzball with all his might at Seymour's face.
POW! Down goes Seymour! His eyes went swirly. Then the authoress, deciding Seymour is not worthy of the Swirly-Eyed Technique (© to Rurouni Kenshin), changed his eyes to Xs. Sure, Xs usually mean death and Seymour isn't dead, but WHO CARES?!
Wakka held his blitzball and glared down at his fallen enemy. Or is it ally? I'm confused. I think Wakka is too. Anyway, Wakka put his foot on Seymour's chest.
"HA! I've beaten you Seymour!" he shouted to his unconscious foe/ally. Taking his foot OFF the Guado, he took a look around. He was in Guadosalam. Guadosalam? When the hell did he get here? Last thing he remembered was being in Zanarkand hurting like hell and telling the others to bury him in Luca. Or Besaid, it didn't really matter to him at the time.
Wakka thought for a little while. 'I must be dead,' he thought, not knowing about his evil personality. 'Oh crap, if I'm dead, then I how am I here, ya? I must be a-a-a GHOST, ya!' Wakka's eyes widened at his little revelation. 'NO, ya!'
Just then, Tidus, Yuna, Auron, Kimahri, Lulu, and Rikku were coming out of the Farplane. They were arguing. Except for Auron, who considers himself above that.
"Should have let Kimahri kill stupid Guado child. Stupid Guado child dead, Seymour dead. Simple."
"Hey Kimahri, how were we supposed to know Seymour was back? I mean, we did kill him like a year and a half ago!" Rikku said. "Even though we had to kill him four times."
Wakka turned around at their voices. He looked sad, staring at his living friends. He walked up to Tidus and put a hand on his shoulder.
"You're a good buddy, ya?" he said, sniffling.
Tidus looked at him. Wasn't Wakka supposed to be crazy and trying to take over the world by making everyone Yevonites? Shouldn't the Wakka be trying to kill him?
"RELEASE ME, ya?! Master needs me, ya?" screamed the little doll.
"Oh shut up. Wakka, what are you doing?" Tidus said, starting to back away from the gravity-defying red hair guy. Wakka's eyes grew wide.
"YOU CAN SEE ME, YA?!"
Yuna held back a laugh. "Yes, we can see you Wakka . . ."
"An' we're not gonna let ya turn everyone in Spira into zombie Yevonites!" Rikku shouted, pointing a gloved finger at him. Wakka stared at her blankly.
"What are you talking about, ya?" he said, scratching his head.
Auron stepped forward. "You and Seymour just came out of the Farplane. You teamed up to take over the world, remember?"
Wakka gave Auron a funny look. "I'm dead, ya."
Lulu sighed in exasperation. "You are NOT dead Wakka. You are alive and you and Seymour are trying to take over the world!"
"Oh. Well, if Seymour and I are partners, then how come I knocked him out, ya?"
"You knocked out Seymour?"
"Uh-huh."
Everyone went over and stared at the unconscious Seymour. Wakka smiled proudly and held up his blitzball. "I knocked him out, ALL by myself, ya?"
Lulu's face scrunched up the tiniest bit to show that she was thinking. She looked at Wakka, then the doll, then Seymour. 'What was Tidus' theory about that stupid doll? Oh yes . . . the split personalities . . .'
His eyes darting about, Kimahri poked Seymour with his spear. Making sure that no one was watching him, he poked Seymour again. Finding it was really FUN to poke Seymour with a sharp object, he continued to poke him. Twenty pokes later, Yuna noticed.
"Kimahri, what are you doing?"
"Kimahri is poking stupid Seymour."
Yuna went to Kimahri's side and looked at the spot where Kimahri continuously poked Seymour. It was bleeding. A lot. It looked like Seymour was twitching from the poking. Now Yuna was faced with a hard decision. Should she stop Kimahri from poking Seymour or allow Kimahri to continue to poke Seymour, which would lead to his death? Well, she didn't LIKE Seymour. The sorry piece of a this-is-a-PG-fic-let's-keep-it-clean did force her to MARRY him after the guy was DEAD. That was disturbing. In her childhood, she never ONCE imagined she would marry a dead guy. And he did try to kill them . . . several times . . .
"OK Kimahri, just don't poke him in one spot," Yuna said, patting Kimahri's furry blue arm (I WANNA KIMAHRI PLUSHIE! IT'S GOTTA BE REALLY FUZZY!) and walked away.
But all the poking led to Seymour regaining consciousness. He opened his eyes and sat up. Kimahri stopped poking him, although he really wanted to shove his spear through the stupid Guado's face and laugh. That would be fun.
Lulu was talking to everybody (except Kimahri because he was poking Seymour) and reminding them of Tidus' theory. Wakka scratched his head.
"So I have an evil personality that's trying to take over the world?"
"LEMME GO!" screamed the Wakka doll. Tidus, tired of the stupid doll, told it that if it didn't shut up he would cast Fire on it. The doll shut up.
"Seymour is awake," Kimahri said, tapping Auron's shoulder.
Seymour was standing now, and he was ANGRY. Instead of trying to attack and kill them all, Seymour ran in the other direction. At first everyone wondered why. Then Auron realized why Seymour was running the other way.
"He's going to the zombie Yevonite Wakka-filled airship!" Auron shouted, running after Seymour, the others not far behind.
"Does he know how to operate machina?!" cried Lulu.
"Didn't you see Bevelle temple? There was machina all over the place! And Seymour was a maester," Auron replied, not slowing.
"What's going on, ya? What's this about zombie Yevonite Wakka-filled airships, ya?" asked Wakka. No one bothered to answer. 'No one cares, ya?'
Seymour had reached the airship. He looked at the control panel that had lots of buttons. If he pushed the right buttons, it would open. He stared at it for a little while . . .
"There he is!"
Scowling at the sound of Tidus' voice, Seymour curled his hand into a fist and slammed ALL the buttons. What he didn't know is that one must slam all the buttons to open the door. So the door opened. Seymour ran on board.
The authoress and the co-author have decided to talk to you, the reader. Are you enjoying this fanfic? Does it suit part of you humor needs? Are you wondering how in the name of seven hells Seymour is running in that crappy outfit of his? Well, it is one of the great mysteries of our time. Oh, is there anyone you'd like to go crazy in this fanfic (Seymour and Wakka excluded)? And yes, there is Wakka bashing because we don't like Wakka very much. While he is a powerful character, he's annoying. Back to the fic.
"He's on the airship!" Yuna cried.
"HURRY!" screamed Rikku, newfound energy going through her and getting ahead of the rest of the others.
Seymour kept running. He had to alert the zombie Yevonites! He had to!
CRASH!
Seymour ran straight into zombie-Brother. Brother stared at him. Seymour sighed.
"You are a Yevonite, are you not?" Seymour asked Brother.
"Yes. You must be converted . . ."
THWACK!
NEWEST YEVONITE: SEYMOUR GUADO
***END OF THE CHAPTER***
A/N: DONE!
Choco: I can't believe you made Seymour a Yevonite!
MoMo: Ah, well, I decided he was getting annoying.
Choco: And **sniffs** I miss Morty . . .
MoMo: GET OVER IT! Morty's gone! He couldn't stay! You can go visit him in Antarctica next week.
Choco: **sniffs again** OK . . .
MoMo: **points to readers** I BET YOU DIDN'T EXPECT ME TO MAKE SEYMOUR A ZOMBIE YEVONITE WAKKA!
Choco: What does a zombie Yevonite Wakka-like Seymour look like?
**Both shudder as mental image forms in their minds**