Sixth chapter: The past and the future


To be on their own, they had decided to go for a walk around Hobbiton on one of the last days in September. It was still warm and a faint smell of fall was in the air.
Liliane took a deep breath as she was lying beside Frodo in a meadow. He sat upright and then was over her, supported by his arms. It was wonderful to be so close to her.
Her curls were shining in the golden sunlight, unfolding a play of shadow and light. Frodo stroked her red cheek with his hand and bent down to kiss her. Liliane wrapped her arm around his back to pull him closer and closed her eyes.
He looked at her, still unable to believe that she enchanted him so much. But he perceived the cheeky sparkling in her eyes too late when she already began to tickle him.
he cried and fell beside her. Quickly she rose, laughing and with a smile on her lips, as he wanted to follow, crying: I will take revenge for that, Mrs. Baggins!
m waiting for that! Liliane replied and turned to run. Frodo hurried to hunt her through the meadow, heading for the forest. He did not take his eyes off her for she was what he wanted. He would take revenge if he caught her and this was his aim.
The green grass and the trees around him blurred while he was running. Liliane turned and ran faster when she perceived him coming closer. There was an amused smile on her face which provoked him to continue persecuting her - he would show her how to smile when he reached her, he thought grinning.
They entered the forest, but Liliane didnt get far since the skirt of her dress got entangled in thorns. Frodo leaped beside her, put his arms around her and tooks some steps forward. He closed his hands around her wrists as he pushed her backwards against a tree.
They smiled at each other.
Got you! he said. What will I do now with my captive?
She struggled a little to get free, but he didnt let go of her at first.
m at your mercy, she replied and Frodo gave her a kiss. He grew more passionate, embraced her and then laid his hands on her breast very gently. She gaped at him in surprise and held her breath.
There is nothing in the whole world that could be more beautiful than you are, he whispered. Liliane smiled.
You think so? Oh, I know what youre up to. Youd like to seduce me, Frodo!
His only answer was a smile. He caressed her through the fabric as they knelt down and he made her tremble a little. She unbuttoned his shirt while he stripped the dress off her shoulders. Liliane closed her eyes as he lowered his head and began to kiss her warm skin.
She went trough his curls and sighed as she felt him. Soon they had both undressed and were lying on the fresh smelling ground.
She returned his tenderness, her breath went faster as his hand went deeper to touch her. Liliane pressed herself close to him.
she whispered and smiled at him in pleasure.
His excitement grew as she continued: I do like this kind of revenge... youre surprising me.
I learned from what you showed me, my beloved Liliane.
Finally he was as close to her as he could ever be. She clutched him and he gave her a loving kiss which she had been longing for while he was caressing her all over. It felt as if time had stopped as the warmth of their shared love took them with growing pleasure. Liliane did not want to let go of him anymore and looking at the first stars in the clear sky when they returned to Bag End.
Smiling Frodo picked a blade of grass that had still hidden in her hair before they reached their home.
s no need for the two to see that! he stated and Liliane laughed.
Coward. How should they know where this came from?
He shrugged. I dont know. But... have I already told you today how much I love you?
Oh, I hope you do, Frodo Baggins, for I will never let you go again!
When they entered the kitchen, they were not surprised to find Sam preparing dinner. He was not only a devoted gardner, he was also a good cook and while Frodo sat down at the table, Liliane had a look into the living-room where Rosie was lying on the couch.
Oh, youre back! Rosie said and invited Liliane to sit down next to her. So she did and looked at Rosie.
How are you feeling?
Mh... pretty plump, Id say! Sam is always asking whether it was finally time because hes so impatient, but Im waiting for the labour pains because I want to get rid of that...
Both of them laughed. It was merely a question of days - Rosie spent much time lying, she felt too lazy to stir since there always was something in the way...
You look happy, she remarked. Liliane nodded.
I am. It was such a wonderful afternoon.
Rosie smiled. She could see that. She was glad to see Liliane and Frodo together. The Frodo that she had known before had turned into someone different - and this was very good. Both of them were happy now.

Two days later Frodo was dreaming of many wonderful things when suddenly someone shook him, crying loudly.
Uncle Frodo! Uncle... wake up!
Frodo stirred and opened one eye, groaned loudly and murmured: What is it, Ellie?
Liliane had also woken up and looked at the little girl in surprise.
What are you doing? she asked Elanor.
s something wrong with Mummy! Dont you hear her? I... I am frightened! Elanor said and her eyes showed her feelings clearly. Frodo sat upright and listened, then he heard Rosie screaming loudly, but he immediately realized what was going on.
He let himself fall backwards on his pillow and told Elanor to come between him and Liliane. In an appeasing manner he laid his arm around the little girls small shoulders and said: This shall be your little baby sibling born now, I guess. Havent your parents told you what would happen?
Elanor shook her head and still he seemed to be anxious that something was happening to her mother. Sam had intended to tell his daughter everything when it would be the time - but the labour pains had begun at night and there had been no time anymore.
Alright... you dont need to fear anything. Nothing serious is happening. But it is painful to give birth to a child and this is why your Mummy is crying.
Liliane smiled when she heard Frodo speaking that way. She doubted that he had an idea what he was talking about, but he could ease Elanors worries.
It will stop soon and then the baby will be born. Have you been afraid to see after your parents?
Elanor nodded in silence. She had woken up from Rosies screams and first had remained lying in bed, panicking and stricken by fear, but then she had decided to go to her uncle and was relieved to hear him talking quietly. She was calmed by his unaffected reaction, he didnt rise or anything, so it just couldnt be bad.
Again Rosie was crying out loudly.
t we... Liliane began, but Frodo shook his head.
No. There was also only Sam when our little princess here was born - the two of them know what to do. Just leave them, I guess it wont take long and he will come to fetch us anyway.
And Mummy will be fine when the baby is born? Elanor asked.
Of course she will. It was the same with you, Ellie. I remember that day...
They spent their time listening to Frodos narration of Elanors birth. Nobody had told her ever before since it hadnt been of interest to her, but now it was. Then they got hungry and went into the kitchen to eat something, but they spent more time listening than eating. They heard Sams voice, he was talking quietly to calm her down, but Rosie didnt stop screaming in pain.
Then at once it was over. It merely took moments until they heard a silent cry and Ellie jumped up from her seat.
Is this my baby sibling? she cried out and Frodo nodded, but he had to grab her shoulders and prevent her from running to her parents.
No, not yet... give them a moment. We will go very soon!
And so they did since Elanor was uneasily and impatiently waiting. They were all excited by now and just when Frodo decided to knock on the bedrooms door, it was opened from inside and Sam halted when he saw them all before him.
s a boy, a little boy... healthy and... he stammered and then embraced Frodo with tears of joy in his eyes. Frodo laughed as he did so and looked at Liliane who shrugged. She had never seen Sam like that before.
Elanor cried and tugged his shirt. Sam let go of Frodo, took his daughter on his arm and together they entered the bedroom again where Rosie was lying in bed. She looked very exhausted and she had sweat on her forehead, but the smile on her face showed her happiness. In her arms there was a little bundle lying, wrapped in towels and beside his wife Sam sat down with Elanor who reached out her hands for her little brother.
I want to see him! she claimed and Rosie turned the bundle so that they all could see the little baby boy. He had his eyes closed and they could see one of his tiny hands. Elanor touched it carefully and shrieked in surprise.
s so warm and... so small! My brother...
His name is Frodo, Sam announced and Frodo looked at him with big eyes.
So you really... youre silly, Sam! Rosie, don
Why not, Frodo? Its Sams biggest wish and I know nothing why we shouldnt call him Frodo!
Frodo had laid his arm around Liliane who leaned on him. He was too surprised to notice that she had stiffened a little.
She did not know how to feel. To see the little family so happy really moved her, she smiled and could feel the parents happiness herself - but there was also another thought in her mind which she didnt speak of right then.
s cute, Frodo said.
You must be so happy, Liliane said and suddenly she felt tears choking her. Abrupt she turned and left the room. Frodo was startled as she did so and followed her with his gaze, but didnt move.
What is it? Sam asked. Frodo shrugged helplessly.
I... I dont know, Ive no idea... ehm... would you excuse me?
Sam nodded and then turned to Rosie and little Frodo again. Meanwhile Elanor had taken the baby and rocked her brother in her arms. She was enchanted by him.
Frodo left the bedroom and stood still for a moment, but then he heard a silent sobbing from the living-room.

The sobbing increased. Frodo hurried to her and found her cowering on the sofa. She had buried her head on her knees and had wrapped her arms around her legs.
Quietly he came closer and knelt down beside her, took her in his arms and was surprised when she pushed him away.
Liliane, would you...
Leave me, Frodo, just go...
He did not understand what she felt, but he decided not to go now.
s wrong, Liliane?
Yet she was sobbing loudly before she finally answered.
Did you ever ask yourself why I have no children?
He shrugged. No. Not really. I... I mean... I know that you love children, but...
Yes, I do, she said and raised her head. Tears were wetting her cheeks and her eyes were full of despair.
I would give everything to have a baby, but... She stopped. She didnt know how to say. Frodo rose and sat down beside her, put his arms around her and she leaned on him.
Liliane was trembling all over when she said: We would have loved to be parents, but nothing happened in ten years! We had always hope and we were patient, but finally we gave up... we accepted that we would have no children. Carl always said he didnt care, but he was as sad as I was... no...
She buried her head on his chest and Frodo stroked her assuringly.
Oh... my dear Liliane, dont cry. Was there ever anything wrong, I mean... I dont really know what the reasons can be, but...
I will disappoint you, she said and clutched him sadly. Frodo shook his head.
No! Dear, you wont. There is nothing to disappoint me... how do you know it was because of you? That must not necessarily be...
She raised her head and looked at him with eyes full of tears. It tore his heart to see her that way.
You could have told me before, it will be no problem... I mean, if... well, I love children myself and Id love to...
He trailed off.
What if youll never be a father because of me? she said and did not stop looking at him. He answered her glance.
s nothing to blame on you. Maybe you will even have children now, how do we know? Liliane, my love doesnt depend on that...
Still she was trembling and so full of hopelessness.
You dont deserve that, she whispered. Frodo sighed loudly.
Liliane... you dont know whether youll have children now. We will see. And if not - well, I thought how wonderful it would be to have children, but if we didnt have any, it would not be a problem for me. How can you think Id blame it on you?
She began to weep again. Frodo understood why she felt that miserable, but indeed he didnt really care. He loved her and nothing would ever change that.
Dear, I will not stop loving you because of that. I will always love you! There are things which dont count for me and this belongs to these things. Lets see and be patient. My feeling tells me that there is hope indeed. Please, stop crying, for Id better like to see you happy. Maybe we will even wish sometime wed never had children when its already too late!
Now she smiled after all and Frodo kissed her forehead.
She had never dared to speak of that because she had feared his reaction. Now that little Frodo was born, she could do nothing about it anymore, her feelings had just overwhelmed her. But she felt better now as she had spoken to him.
You are so good, Frodo. I love you so much.
He pulled her close. And I love you, I will love you forever.
Frodo knew she saved him. She saved his life by changing it and indeed he had hope.
After a while Frodo returned to the little Gamgee family who had grown now, meanwhile Liliane made a tea for Rosie.
With a questioning gaze Sam welcomed Frodo as he entered the bedroom. Rosie and Elanor were talking and Ellie was looking at little Frodo who had now opened his clearblue eyes. Frodo smiled as he saw the baby boy.
What is it, Master Frodo?
Oh... it... its... she... she doesnt know whether she will ever have children herself. Its her biggest wish but still there is none. Its a big problem for her.
He sighed. Sam laid his hand on Frodos shoulder. Of course it wasnt easy for Frodo to say that now, but Sam understood the problem.
m sorry. So he has no children unwillingly? It must be hard for her to see us like... and what about you?
Frodo shrugged helplessly. I think there is hope yet, Sam. We dont know... we need patience. Id love to have children myself, regarding Elanor and - it is so wonderful. But we will see.
They smiled at each other. Sam fell silent. He was glad Frodo trusted him that much to tell him such things, but if he could give comfort, it was good.
Would you like to hold him? Rosie asked at once. Frodo nodded with a broad smile.
Yes! Hes named after me, Id love to say hello to your little Frodo!
He felt strange as he spoke out his own name now. He wasnt the only Frodo in Bag End anymore.
As Liliane entered the bedroom, she stopped abrupt and looked at him in wonder. He held the baby very carefully and lovely. Maybe he was right indeed and would be a father himself...

She woke up and did not immediately know what it had been to disturb her, but when she opened her eyes, she saw the grey clouds through the window, heard the wind and the rain, saw the trees bending and sighed pleasantly. It was so warm in bed.
Then she turned and looked at Frodo. He had cuddled up like a child and she only saw his back. First she thought of nothing special, but then she saw him trembling and wincing at once, heard him groaning and raised her head.
she whispered and looked at him. What she then perceived shocked her.
He was pale and sweat was on his forehead, but he had rings under his eyes which were red-rimmed. He didnt even seem to notice how she bent down to him.
When Liliane touched his arm, she felt the cold that had taken hold of him. His breath went hard, he gritted his teeth and then she noticed the tears in his eyes, tears of pain.
He grabbed the blanket with his hand and didnt react for a while when she spoke to him.
Frodo, what is it? Say something! Please...
It took him some time to answer. Slowly he turned to her and laid his hand on his left shoulder which hurt terribly.
Then she remembered at once. She lifted him carefully and made him lean on her, she laid her hand on his wound which was of a deadly chill and smiled at him who looked at her helplessly.
He had cramped all over and only her closeness eased his pain a little.
Now she realized what Gandalf had been speaking of. Indeed it wasnt the same. Now it was true - the things that she had only been told had come true now. The remembrance had returned, toilsomely and painfully.
Frodo, you should have said something. How long have you been lying like that?
He voice was quavering as she said so. Frodo shrugged a little and said tonelessly: Maybe... two or three hours, I dont know.
You should have woken me up! I cant see you suffer like that...
But there were tears in her eyes which she didnt even notice. Frodo raised his trembling hand and wiped away the tears from her cheeks. He coughed and winced in pain.
t be afraid, dear... this is why I let you sleep. You must not worry, Ill be fine.
Why, Frodo? she asked surprisingly, but still he knew what she meant.
I dont know. Its the return of the past. I got used to it.
She shook her head in disbelief and bit her lip. Something had to be done, but she didnt know what it was.
Then at once she heard steps in the hallway, Sams steps.
She called for him loudly and pressed her hand firmly on the scar of Frodos stabbing. It had gone cold already, but still Frodo felt her warmth there. He had felt nothing for years around that scar, but now there was something.
Sam said as his head appeared in the door. All of a sudden he was startled by what he saw, he entered the bedroom and hurried to Frodo and Liliane.
I nearly forgot... Master Frodo, how are you?
Could be better... and worse, Sam, you know that...
Sam took his hand and suddenly his face showed a determined expression.
I know - youll need a good tea. Ill go and make some! You will see how good that is. Do you need anything, Liliane?
She shook her head. She only needed something to undo all that had happened, to take this pain away.
These perils must have been terrible indeed. Shed had no idea of it all... she had been horrified when Frodo and Sam had told her, but now that it came alive, she didnt know what to do.
Is there nothing I can do for you? she asked. Frodo shook his head and closed his eyes.
No. Just wait... tomorrow it will be over. Its so good to feel you...
She pulled him closer with a sigh. It was unbearable for her to see him like that.
Are you afraid? he suddenly asked. Liliane looked down to him, Frodo was still lying in her arms and stopped trembling only slowly.
I am. But... its because I didnt imagine it to be like that. Youre so brave to cope with that! If I can only help you...
This gave a little comfort to him. He had feared she might be so shocked that she would leave him when he needed her most, but she didnt, although she was still afraid.
Sam came with a tea, he sat down beside Liliane and his friend and looked at the two of them. He could see that Liliane was petrified, but she tried to hide it and bear it. Her troubles were not of interest now, she thought, it was Frodo who needed help.
At once she was aware of what he had always wanted to hide. It was so clear now.
It took some time until Frodo was to be convinced that he had to eat something. Finally he even got up, Liliane took his elvish coat and he wrapped it tightly around his shoulders, then they sat down before the warm fire of the chimney.
Soon Rosie and Elanor were up and the girl came to see her uncle and aunt.
Uncle Frodo is ill again, Sam explained when Ellie stood in awe, gazing at Frodo in disbelief.
But you will be fine again, wont you, Uncle Frodo?
He coughed. Of course I will. You know that Im always only ill for a day. Will you not tell me a story now? I would like that!
May I sit on your lap? she asked. Frodo made an inviting gesture and felt the warmth of the little girl on the front and in his back there was Liliane sitting. That made it much easier for him to stand the pain.
Elanor tried everything to make her uncle laugh and so he did from time to time. It wasnt as hard to pass the day as Liliane had imagined it to be, but still when Rosie came with the baby in her arms, Frodo asked her not to come too close.
We dont know if it would be bad for our little boy, do we? I will take him tomorrow, Frodo said when Rosie asked him whether he would like to hold the child.
Rosie knew about the reasons for Frodos strange disease, but she didnt fear it.
Still Frodo didnt want to risk anything with the baby.
Liliane was so worried that day. She always thought of everything that had happened to Frodo and she felt very inquieted by that, but still she saw that indeed it was nothing unfamiliar to him. She overcame her fear by thinking of the fact that Frodo needed her.
When they went to bed that day, she took him in her warming embrace and he kissed her lovingly.
Thank you, he said. She smiled with tears in her eyes. This was also love - to never leave the beloved. And the next day it had all past and was merely a faint memory.

It was a day in the end of October. The trees had all lost their leaves and the dark twigs were a contrast to the lightly grey clouds that hung deeply over the lands. When Liliane had woken up, she had been taken by a strange feeling of restlessness which she first couldnt point out clearly, but then she realized what it was to make her feel so uneasy.
She went to a window and stared outside. The cold wind blew sharply and made a feeling of loneliness rise inside of her. It grew steadily though there was no need to, she wasnt alone.
But it was grief that took her. Now that it was the day, she remembered how her life had changed two years before.
She entered the kitchen when there was nobody inside, took a candle and lit it, then put it in the window and sighed. When tears came to her eyes, she couldnt help it.
Liliane couldnt tell how she felt. On the one hand there was Frodo now who loved her more than his life, according to his own words which she believed without a doubt, he would do everything for her and met her with such immense love that sometimes she feared she couldnt answer it equally. She had a wonderful life now. When Rosie didnt know how to manage it all, she took the little baby and cared for the boy, she spent much time with Elanor and liked also Sam very much. She got along with everybody, she felt homely in Bag End. Frodo first cared for her before he thought of him and she could make use of all the pleasant things that there were if you had riches. Indeed she was now able to work because she liked it, she wasnt obliged to anymore.
But still she had been married before for ten years with Carl. She had never forgotten his face and his smile. The last thing that she had said to him had been: Be careful - he had always been. Always save once. Carl had kissed her goodbye, not knowing it would be a goodbye forever. He had left the house and gone to hunt, she had been working all day herself - but then in the afternoon a thunderstorm had developed and while she had been impatiently waiting for his safe return, he had drowned on the Brandywine, trying to go back home, go back to her.
They had only found his coat, his bow and some wood of which the ferry had once been made before it was destroyed in the roaring waves. First she had always hoped he would come back, but he didnt. He was dead. He had left her all alone and she had missed him so much. Her life had been so empty, in contrast so full of sadness that she couldnt bear it. There had been no sense anymore, she had lost her way and often asked herself why she still lived while he was dead.
But she had overcome it somehow. It had been hard, but she had learned how to live like that and then, when she had reckoned it the less, she had met Frodo. It had been the beginning of a new life which she didnt want to change anymore.
It was impossible to compare and she never did so, but that day she remembered her life with Carl.
Frodo soon noticed how she drifted off in thoughts and later she told him freely what her concern was. With no jealousy he understood her. He knew she had lost Carl when she had loved him so much and this had only decreased, but never stopped. Carl should have his place in her heart, it was out of the question.
He would be glad if he saw us like that, Liliane said honestly. Carl would never have liked her to be alone and Frodo was the best husband she could dream of. They might have liked each other, Liliane reckoned.
The light of the candle flickered, but was glowing steadily.
This day there was no thunderstorm. It was a peaceful day in late fall. She had let go of Carl forever without losing his memory, but now she had Frodo. And she was happy about that.

When she woke up, she felt his arm lying on her belly. His head was leaning on her shoulder, he was lying on his side and sleeping peacefully. She stroked his hand that was lying next to her and she was aware of the scar that marked him forever. His missing finger was more than just a scar actually.
She didnt know why she suddenly considered that. To her Frodo wasnt just a Hobbit, of course, but for Middle-earth he was someone special, too. Still she knew nothing of it, but the Dark Lord - it sounded monstrous. It had to mean something if Frodo was known all over Middle-earth since the War of the Ring.
As far as she could imagine, he had saved all. The freedom. Their lives. Everything which was good.
She pressed his hand tightly. At once she understood that it had changed him - but the Frodo that she loved was a normal Hobbit again.
But she remembered how she had met him. He had still been so distraught. Hurt.
He wasnt anymore.
All of a sudden she realized what she meant to him. He had shown her. He had overcome his shyness and shown her what love he felt for her.
She doubted that she could ever love him the way he loved her, but her feeling told her that she did so. She loved him the way he loved her. And she didnt love him because of the fact that he was the saver of Middle-earth. She didnt love him either because she wasnt lonely with him.
She loved him, simply Frodo, only because of himself.
Such a deep love she had never shared before. She had never seen it either.
For this was one of his traits of character, one of those she loved: He was still warm-hearted and good and gave her all that he could, claiming nothing in return.
In the Shire it wasnt known at all what he had done. Nobody had thanked him, but he had not claimed that either.
Sam had told her about his fear that someone could want to take revenge on Frodo for his deeds, he was terribly afraid of that.
But in case that evil wanted to harm him somehow, even if she would suffer from that, she would never leave him. She was on his side. She knew that she had saved him, the saver of all.
She wanted to be there for him. Always.
It was bigger than everything she could describe with words. She wanted to do everything for him. He simply deserved it.
Liliane had never met such goodness before.
Why did she deserve that?
It was something special to be loved by him. Tears came to her eyes, tears of happiness.
It had been worth it to fight for that.
And maybe there was some truth in his words. Maybe there wouldnt always be just the two of them. She hoped it so bad...
With a smile she thought of her right not to give up.
And he was humorous.
She had heard much about him since she lived in Hobbiton. People took him a little strange, maybe kind of mad, just as his uncle had been. Mostly they shook their heads considering the fact that he had married now, after all.
But she wasnt more or less mad than he was. She had never cared about rambling and rumours.
Suddenly there appeared a picture of Carl in her mind. He smiled. It was a happy smile. Then she saw how he nodded and the picture vanished again.
No, she wouldnt forget him. Never. It was nothing to be compared.
He had also given everything for her which had been the most wonderful thing in the world. She was thankful that he had been there.
But the picture faded and didnt hurt anymore, it was merely a memory of happy days and this was right.
She remained lying movelessly and dreamt a little until Frodo surprisingly opened his eyes, squinting at her sleepily.
Good morning, dear. Why are you awake already? he asked. Liliane shrugged.
I just woke up. Frodo, I have to tell you something.
Again he opened an eye and murmured: m listening.
Thank you.
He yawned and looked at her in confusion.
Thank you? Why do you thank me?
I thank you for... everything, Frodo. Just everything.
She came closer and kissed him.