A/N: Check it out, we're back. I mean, it only took us like, what, two,
three, four months? I'm really sorry, but I didn't have any inspiration and
Choco doesn't write it was just his idea so I had to give him credit.
**Quote of the Day** "There's no place like home." - Dorothy Gale, The Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum
Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, claim to own the characters, objects, scenes, and storyline of the Squaresoft video game Final Fantasy X.
The Cursed Wakka Doll: by MoMo-ChAn and Choco
Chapter 8
Now, where were we? Oh yes, that's right, everyone was going insane.
"Too many buttons," muttered Rikku. "Too many Wakkas."
Auron was feeling odd. He didn't like that. He never feels odd. It's just not his thing. Auron does not feel odd. Lulu was feeling odd as well. They both stared oddly at Wakka, who was crouching in a corner and oddly talking to himself.
"I'm not a Yevonite."
"I am a Yevonite."
"No, I'm not."
"Yes, I am."
"NO!"
"YES!"
They found this odd exchange oddly funny. Then Wakka got up. He walked out the door. Lulu and Auron followed him. You know where you get on that platform thingy to get to the top of the airship? They went there. They also went on the platform thingy. Cheesy Al Bhed music played and evil Wakka would cringe then Wakka would smile and tap his foot. It was very odd indeed. When they got to the top, Wakka crouched down and started talking to himself again. Oddly enough, Lulu and Auron had a blitzball.
"Where did this blitzball come from?" Lulu asked.
"I don't know."
"Why don't you know?"
"Simple," said Auron, as if stating the obvious, "I'm not in control of this fanfic."
"Oh yeah. Look at Wakka, talking to himself. Sad, isn't it?"
"Yeah. Let's kick this blitzball at his head."
"OK."
Now how Lulu would manage to kick a blitzball in THAT dress, I don't know. But how can she run? Or keep those boobs of hers in? I mean, come on! Well, she does kick the blitzball. The blitzball flies across and knocks Wakka on the head. It rolls back and stops at Auron's feet.
"Was that fun?" Auron asked.
"Yeah. You should try it."
Auron kicked the blitzball! It hit Wakka's head too.
"What was that?" said Evil Wakka.
"I don't know," said Stupid Wakka.
"Of course you don't, you're not a Yevonite," said Evil Wakka.
"What's with you and Yevon?!" yelled Stupid Wakka.
"Yevon is GOD!" screamed Evil Wakka.
"NO HE'S NOT!" yelled Stupid Wakka.
Auron and Lulu proceeded to kick Wakka in the head with the blitzball. As the blitzball hit him, he would change personalities.
"You're right, this is fun," said Auron.
"I told you it was."
"STOP WITH THAT STUPID BLITZBALL!" yelled Evil Wakka.
"YEAH!" agreed Stupid Wakka.
Of course, no one listens to Wakka and Lulu and Auron kept kicking the blitzball. And Wakka had his weird exchange between his personalities. Now for Tidus and Yuna.
Tidus and Yuna were hungry. Actually, Tidus was hungry and Yuna was thirsty. The Cursed Wakka Doll had passed out, with Tidus sitting on him and all.
"I need FOOD," Tidus said to Yuna.
"I'm thirsty," Yuna replied.
" . . . Please get off me," said the muffled voice of the doll that had been revived.
"Oh, sorry," said Tidus, removing him and tying him up with spare twine in his pocket. He set the doll down and stood up. Yuna got up too.
"You think . . .," said Tidus.
"Maybe . . .," answered Yuna. They both left and went on top of the airship where Lulu, Auron, and Wakka are. Miraculously, a picnic sheet was laid out on the top, about three meters away from the other three. Walking over to the picnic sheet, the couple sat down. Miraculously (this word will pop up several times), A BIG BOWL OF NOODLES APPEARED! And, also miraculously, a pot of tea and two teacups appeared. They stared as the food miraculously appeared in front of them. And pleasantly designed bowls with chopsticks miraculously appeared, along with sugar and cream.
"Noodles," Tidus said dumbly.
"And tea."
"I'm hungry."
"I'm thirsty."
"Think we can eat this?"
"Yeah."
Yuna poured tea and Tidus served the noodles.
"Food."
"Tea."
"Yum."
"Please Tidus, use a more sophisticated vocabulary."
"THAT would be miraculous."
So Yuna drank tea and Tidus slurped his noodles. Miraculously, neither of them seemed to die due to the lack of air. IT'S A FREAKING MIRACLE!
***MEANWHILE***
Meanwhile, Rikku and Kimahri were alone in the cockpit. Well, not really alone because Idiot was there. So was the Cursed Wakka Doll who really is playing no big part anymore. Angry at the loss of his big part, the Cursed Wakka Doll swore to get his revenge on Wakka, who had stolen the spotlight from him. Idiot, who had been rather bored and armed with a short memory span (the only items in his long term memory were how to breathe, eat, sleep, and speak; he didn't even remember his name or his family), idiotically untied the Cursed Wakka Doll. Freed from the twine, the Cursed Wakka Doll took out his mini blitzball and ran at the door. He hit it with a soft "whumph" and fell on his back. Jumping back up, he attacked the door again. The door would not open.
"TOO MANY BUTTONS!" screamed Rikku, clutching her head. "TOO MANY!"
Kimahri watched her with silent happiness. Rikku had constantly annoyed him and now she would go crazy. Kimahri, being a Ronso, was not so easily susceptible to craziness. It would take a LOT to make a Ronso crazy. And because Kimahri wasn't crazy, Kimahri was bored. He was very bored.
"Kimahri very bored," Kimahri said. He looked at Rikku and a corner of his mouth twitched. Rikku was crazy. She was freaking out and screaming about how many Wakkas and buttons there were. Kimahri thought this was very funny. Now how to use this to his advantage? Kimahri left the room. The Cursed Wakka Doll saw this and ran out the door as the door opened to let Kimahri through. Idiot giggled as he watched the doll run between the blue Ronso's legs. Rikku, hearing the giggle, assumed it was an evil laugh and punched Idiot in the face, causing him to lose consciousness and to fall on the floor like a sack of potatoes.
In the meanwhile, Kimahri was looking for Rin. Rin has everything. Rin has answers to all of life's questions. Rin is Final Fantasy X's God. At the present moment, the converts were screaming about how they were sinning and kept jumping so as to not to touch the airship too long. Kimahri found Rin sitting in a corner, muttering something about sales. Rin, being God in the FFX world, had scrapped up his memories and wasn't much of a Yevonite any more. Kimahri tapped Rin's shoulder. Rin looked up and his eyes brightened.
"A customer?!" he said excitedly. He stood up, snapped his fingers, clapped his hands, clicked his heels, and blinked TWICE! That's right, twice. Not once, not thrice, twice. A stall appeared in front of him and several objects behind him.
"Welcome to Rin's!" he exclaimed, "What can I do for you?"
"Kimahri want red wig like Wakka's hair."
Rin looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "A wig? Why would you want that?"
"To scare Rikku."
Rin looked suspiciously at Kimahri, then shrugged. "Well, I was saving this for Halloween; weird thing that Tidus kid introduced; but here you go." He handed the red wig to Kimahri, who paid 1,000 gil for it.
"Why pay so much?"
"Because I'm letting you have it ahead of time."
Kimahri shrugged and took the wig and himself back to the cockpit.
***WITH THE CURSED WAKKA DOLL***
The Cursed Wakka Doll was also looking for Rin. Using his blitzball so that he wouldn't have to touch the ground, he rolled between the jumping converts. He found Rin behind his stall reading a copy of "How to Double Your Gil in Four Days!" Rolling over to the Al Bhed salesman, he spat on the ground and said, "Are you a Yevonite?"
Rin, remembering the unspeakable horrors of being a zombie Yevonite Wakka, nodded and said, "Ya." If anything, Rin was not stupid. The Cursed Wakka Doll looked at him suspiciously.
"Well, I want something to kill Wakka, ya?"
Rin looked up and mentally went through his inventory. Looking back down on our lovely cursed doll, he said, "We sold all our killing items your size to Itchy, ya."
CWD (Cursed Wakka Doll) frowned. "Who's Itchy, ya?"
Rin shrugged. "A blue mouse, ya? Kills the same black cat everyday, ya. Needed some new items, ya."
"He didn't need that much, ya?"
"He took it all, ya."
CWD cursed and pouted. "What else you got?"
"Nothing that you can carry."
"DAMN!"
"We do have a special on a potion that makes your face blue."
Now turning Wakka's face blue wouldn't be AS satisfying, but at least it's something. Deciding that something was better than nothing was, and he could always wait for Rin to restock on his supplies.
"How much?"
"200 gil."
"I want it for less, ya."
"It's original price is 30,000 gil, ya."
CWD's brow furrowed and he shrugged. "Fine." Paying Rin the cash, (Where he gets the money I have NO idea) he grabbed the concoction and rolled off to the platform thingy-ma-jigger and went to the top of the airship to throw it at Wakka's face. Giggling delightedly (don't ask) as the platform thingy-ma-jigger went UP, he gazed at the red potion within the crystalline bottle with a winged cap. He could see why it could cost 30,000 gil. It was very pretty. As the platform thingy-ma-jigger came to a stop, the CWD was completely entranced by the red potion in the crystalline bottle with the winged cap. As to what happens after, well, you'll just have to wait another four months, won't ya?
***TO BE CONTINUED***
A/N: Really, it won't be another four months. And Itchy, if you didn't know already, is from The Simpsons and is property of Matt Groening and whoever else owns him.
**Quote of the Day** "There's no place like home." - Dorothy Gale, The Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum
Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, claim to own the characters, objects, scenes, and storyline of the Squaresoft video game Final Fantasy X.
The Cursed Wakka Doll: by MoMo-ChAn and Choco
Chapter 8
Now, where were we? Oh yes, that's right, everyone was going insane.
"Too many buttons," muttered Rikku. "Too many Wakkas."
Auron was feeling odd. He didn't like that. He never feels odd. It's just not his thing. Auron does not feel odd. Lulu was feeling odd as well. They both stared oddly at Wakka, who was crouching in a corner and oddly talking to himself.
"I'm not a Yevonite."
"I am a Yevonite."
"No, I'm not."
"Yes, I am."
"NO!"
"YES!"
They found this odd exchange oddly funny. Then Wakka got up. He walked out the door. Lulu and Auron followed him. You know where you get on that platform thingy to get to the top of the airship? They went there. They also went on the platform thingy. Cheesy Al Bhed music played and evil Wakka would cringe then Wakka would smile and tap his foot. It was very odd indeed. When they got to the top, Wakka crouched down and started talking to himself again. Oddly enough, Lulu and Auron had a blitzball.
"Where did this blitzball come from?" Lulu asked.
"I don't know."
"Why don't you know?"
"Simple," said Auron, as if stating the obvious, "I'm not in control of this fanfic."
"Oh yeah. Look at Wakka, talking to himself. Sad, isn't it?"
"Yeah. Let's kick this blitzball at his head."
"OK."
Now how Lulu would manage to kick a blitzball in THAT dress, I don't know. But how can she run? Or keep those boobs of hers in? I mean, come on! Well, she does kick the blitzball. The blitzball flies across and knocks Wakka on the head. It rolls back and stops at Auron's feet.
"Was that fun?" Auron asked.
"Yeah. You should try it."
Auron kicked the blitzball! It hit Wakka's head too.
"What was that?" said Evil Wakka.
"I don't know," said Stupid Wakka.
"Of course you don't, you're not a Yevonite," said Evil Wakka.
"What's with you and Yevon?!" yelled Stupid Wakka.
"Yevon is GOD!" screamed Evil Wakka.
"NO HE'S NOT!" yelled Stupid Wakka.
Auron and Lulu proceeded to kick Wakka in the head with the blitzball. As the blitzball hit him, he would change personalities.
"You're right, this is fun," said Auron.
"I told you it was."
"STOP WITH THAT STUPID BLITZBALL!" yelled Evil Wakka.
"YEAH!" agreed Stupid Wakka.
Of course, no one listens to Wakka and Lulu and Auron kept kicking the blitzball. And Wakka had his weird exchange between his personalities. Now for Tidus and Yuna.
Tidus and Yuna were hungry. Actually, Tidus was hungry and Yuna was thirsty. The Cursed Wakka Doll had passed out, with Tidus sitting on him and all.
"I need FOOD," Tidus said to Yuna.
"I'm thirsty," Yuna replied.
" . . . Please get off me," said the muffled voice of the doll that had been revived.
"Oh, sorry," said Tidus, removing him and tying him up with spare twine in his pocket. He set the doll down and stood up. Yuna got up too.
"You think . . .," said Tidus.
"Maybe . . .," answered Yuna. They both left and went on top of the airship where Lulu, Auron, and Wakka are. Miraculously, a picnic sheet was laid out on the top, about three meters away from the other three. Walking over to the picnic sheet, the couple sat down. Miraculously (this word will pop up several times), A BIG BOWL OF NOODLES APPEARED! And, also miraculously, a pot of tea and two teacups appeared. They stared as the food miraculously appeared in front of them. And pleasantly designed bowls with chopsticks miraculously appeared, along with sugar and cream.
"Noodles," Tidus said dumbly.
"And tea."
"I'm hungry."
"I'm thirsty."
"Think we can eat this?"
"Yeah."
Yuna poured tea and Tidus served the noodles.
"Food."
"Tea."
"Yum."
"Please Tidus, use a more sophisticated vocabulary."
"THAT would be miraculous."
So Yuna drank tea and Tidus slurped his noodles. Miraculously, neither of them seemed to die due to the lack of air. IT'S A FREAKING MIRACLE!
***MEANWHILE***
Meanwhile, Rikku and Kimahri were alone in the cockpit. Well, not really alone because Idiot was there. So was the Cursed Wakka Doll who really is playing no big part anymore. Angry at the loss of his big part, the Cursed Wakka Doll swore to get his revenge on Wakka, who had stolen the spotlight from him. Idiot, who had been rather bored and armed with a short memory span (the only items in his long term memory were how to breathe, eat, sleep, and speak; he didn't even remember his name or his family), idiotically untied the Cursed Wakka Doll. Freed from the twine, the Cursed Wakka Doll took out his mini blitzball and ran at the door. He hit it with a soft "whumph" and fell on his back. Jumping back up, he attacked the door again. The door would not open.
"TOO MANY BUTTONS!" screamed Rikku, clutching her head. "TOO MANY!"
Kimahri watched her with silent happiness. Rikku had constantly annoyed him and now she would go crazy. Kimahri, being a Ronso, was not so easily susceptible to craziness. It would take a LOT to make a Ronso crazy. And because Kimahri wasn't crazy, Kimahri was bored. He was very bored.
"Kimahri very bored," Kimahri said. He looked at Rikku and a corner of his mouth twitched. Rikku was crazy. She was freaking out and screaming about how many Wakkas and buttons there were. Kimahri thought this was very funny. Now how to use this to his advantage? Kimahri left the room. The Cursed Wakka Doll saw this and ran out the door as the door opened to let Kimahri through. Idiot giggled as he watched the doll run between the blue Ronso's legs. Rikku, hearing the giggle, assumed it was an evil laugh and punched Idiot in the face, causing him to lose consciousness and to fall on the floor like a sack of potatoes.
In the meanwhile, Kimahri was looking for Rin. Rin has everything. Rin has answers to all of life's questions. Rin is Final Fantasy X's God. At the present moment, the converts were screaming about how they were sinning and kept jumping so as to not to touch the airship too long. Kimahri found Rin sitting in a corner, muttering something about sales. Rin, being God in the FFX world, had scrapped up his memories and wasn't much of a Yevonite any more. Kimahri tapped Rin's shoulder. Rin looked up and his eyes brightened.
"A customer?!" he said excitedly. He stood up, snapped his fingers, clapped his hands, clicked his heels, and blinked TWICE! That's right, twice. Not once, not thrice, twice. A stall appeared in front of him and several objects behind him.
"Welcome to Rin's!" he exclaimed, "What can I do for you?"
"Kimahri want red wig like Wakka's hair."
Rin looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "A wig? Why would you want that?"
"To scare Rikku."
Rin looked suspiciously at Kimahri, then shrugged. "Well, I was saving this for Halloween; weird thing that Tidus kid introduced; but here you go." He handed the red wig to Kimahri, who paid 1,000 gil for it.
"Why pay so much?"
"Because I'm letting you have it ahead of time."
Kimahri shrugged and took the wig and himself back to the cockpit.
***WITH THE CURSED WAKKA DOLL***
The Cursed Wakka Doll was also looking for Rin. Using his blitzball so that he wouldn't have to touch the ground, he rolled between the jumping converts. He found Rin behind his stall reading a copy of "How to Double Your Gil in Four Days!" Rolling over to the Al Bhed salesman, he spat on the ground and said, "Are you a Yevonite?"
Rin, remembering the unspeakable horrors of being a zombie Yevonite Wakka, nodded and said, "Ya." If anything, Rin was not stupid. The Cursed Wakka Doll looked at him suspiciously.
"Well, I want something to kill Wakka, ya?"
Rin looked up and mentally went through his inventory. Looking back down on our lovely cursed doll, he said, "We sold all our killing items your size to Itchy, ya."
CWD (Cursed Wakka Doll) frowned. "Who's Itchy, ya?"
Rin shrugged. "A blue mouse, ya? Kills the same black cat everyday, ya. Needed some new items, ya."
"He didn't need that much, ya?"
"He took it all, ya."
CWD cursed and pouted. "What else you got?"
"Nothing that you can carry."
"DAMN!"
"We do have a special on a potion that makes your face blue."
Now turning Wakka's face blue wouldn't be AS satisfying, but at least it's something. Deciding that something was better than nothing was, and he could always wait for Rin to restock on his supplies.
"How much?"
"200 gil."
"I want it for less, ya."
"It's original price is 30,000 gil, ya."
CWD's brow furrowed and he shrugged. "Fine." Paying Rin the cash, (Where he gets the money I have NO idea) he grabbed the concoction and rolled off to the platform thingy-ma-jigger and went to the top of the airship to throw it at Wakka's face. Giggling delightedly (don't ask) as the platform thingy-ma-jigger went UP, he gazed at the red potion within the crystalline bottle with a winged cap. He could see why it could cost 30,000 gil. It was very pretty. As the platform thingy-ma-jigger came to a stop, the CWD was completely entranced by the red potion in the crystalline bottle with the winged cap. As to what happens after, well, you'll just have to wait another four months, won't ya?
***TO BE CONTINUED***
A/N: Really, it won't be another four months. And Itchy, if you didn't know already, is from The Simpsons and is property of Matt Groening and whoever else owns him.