A/N: Hello again. THANK YOU ALL FOR THE REVIEWS!! I LUV YOU ALL!!!
**Quote of the Day** "Don't touch the staff. And don't forget to wash your hands before you come to dinner." - Cimorene, Talking to Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede
Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, you know the drill.
The Cursed Wakka Doll: written by MoMo-ChAn and idea by Choco
Chapter 9
The Cursed Wakka Doll just sort of sat, staring at the pretty liquid in the pretty crystalline bottle with the pretty winged top. Pretty. He didn't know why the pretty red potion made him feel so pretty. Pretty was a pretty word. He was ignorant to the "WHACK!" that was the blitzball hurtling at Wakka's head. He was ignorant to the slurping that was Tidus and Yuna drinking tea and eating noodles. He was just sort of there. The Cursed Wakka Doll was in a trance.
Kimahri was not. Kimahri seemed smarter. Maybe it was too much air that made Kimahri and other Ronsos illiterate fools. Hey, you show me a Ronso who can read and write and I'll change this. Kimahri walked BACK to the control room and found Rikku mercilessly pounding an unconscious Al Bhed convert who had, somehow, gotten in there.
"WAKKA!" she screamed, pounding away, "NO MORE WAKKA!"
Kimahri smiled contentedly. No, not that freaky smile that he showed to Tidus in Djose, but a rather feral grin, like the grin of a wolf when he has caught his prey. Putting on the wig, which made him look absolutely ridiculous, he tapped Rikku's shoulder. Rikku looked up and screamed.
Just think about it for a sec. Kimahri is a bipedal splice between a feral cat and a human who decided to dye his fur blue and white and wear funny clothes. Then he decides to put on a Wakka wig and scare an Al Bhed girl who has been driven crazy by lack of oxygen. This Al Bhed girl has developed a fear of Wakka and buttons. Everything is distorted for her.
Cruel Kimahri makes his eyes go glossy and says, "Ya," tonelessly.
That was it. Rikku snapped.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Rikku screamed, thwacking Kimahri with her God Hand and running out of there. "WAKKA!! WAKKA KIMAHRI!! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD PEOPLE!!"
The Al Bhed converts heard this. Now Yevonites + End of the World shout = Not Good. They stopped for a minute and looked at each other. Then it finally registered in their minds. CHA-CHING!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! END OF THE WORLD, YA?!" they shouted, running around and knocking into each other and throwing their blitzballs at each other and jumping up and down so as to prevent touching the airship. "MACHINA!"
Sorry people. I gotta go look up Gandhi for my mother. Hold on.
Ah yes. "SAVE US YEVON!" screamed the Al Bhed Yevonites. Rikku punched and pushed them out of the way, yelling, "TIDUS! YUNIE! LULU! AURON! KIMAHRI'S A ZOMBIE YEVONITE WAKKA!!!!!!" Rikku ran crazily to the platform thingy and went up. Going over to Auron (because he's the responsible one) and yelled in his ear, "KIMAHRI'SAYEVONITEYOUGOTTADOSOMETHINGI'MSCAREDDOSOMETHINGALREADY!!!!!!!" (Kimahri's a Yevonite, you gotta do something, I'm scared, do something already!!!!!!!) Auron did not like being yelled at.
"Enough," Auron said, hitting Rikku soundly on the head. "I'm kicking a blitzball at Wakka's head and it's oddly amusing."
"BUT WHAT ABOUT THE BUTTONS?!"
"What about the buttons?" Lulu growled, as her kicked narrowly hit Wakka and careened toward Auron.
"THE BUTTONS!!!"
"Go talk to Tidus and Yuna," Auron said, kicking the blitzball hard.
"Ya!" said Stupid Wakka.
THWACK!
"YOU HEATHEN!" cried Evil Wakka.
Rikku ran to Tidus and Yuna and accidentally stepped on the CWD, which was walking as if he were drunk because of the pretty red potion. And because he was stepped on, he lost his hold of the pretty red potion.
In actuality, the pretty red potion was supposed to eradicate the Evil Wakka. Rin, being God, had determined that if the person who was the original curse caster was destroyed, everything was to be back to normal. What it would do as the pretty crystalline bottle crashed on the metal of the airship, we don't know.
CRASH!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried the Cursed Wakka Doll, his smushed little hand extended toward the remnants of the bottle with the winged cap and the red potion. "WHY YEVON, WHY?!"
Rikku tried to regain her breath as Tidus and Yuna sipped and slurped their food and drink. They both turned to her, their own eyes glossy.
"Yes Rikku?" Yuna asked sleepily.
"KIMAHRI'S A YEVONITE!" she hollered.
"That's nice," said Tidus, getting hit in the face with a wet noodle that he had slurped. "But we are eating and drinking these noodles and tea which had miraculously appeared in front of us."
"BUT KIMAHRI'S A YEVONITE!"
"DIE, YA?!" came the war cry of the CWD as he attached himself to Rikku's left leg. He then proceeded to bite her. Screaming, Rikku hopped around on her right leg and shook her left one. Not watching where she was going, she slipped on the red potion and then fell on the platform thingy, which took her back down.
"THAT HURT!" Rikku bellowed, taking a swing at the CWD on her knees.
"GOOD, YA?!" the CWD hollered right back, dodging her swing and lunging at her arm so as to take in another bite of her flesh. Too bad he never got the chance. Rikku had anticipated his move and grabbed him in midair. Cackling crazily, she got up, used a potion on her damaged leg, and sprinted for the kitchen. She was gonna have some fun!
Kimahri had healed from Rikku's attack and was laughing with Rin. "So stupid Rikku scream like this," he said, and imitated Rikku's girlish scream as well as he could with his deep Ronso voice, "and ran to stupid Tidus! Kimahri have much fun."
Rin only nodded. "Yes, and where is Tidus?"
"On top of airship."
Rin's eyes grew wide. "WHAT?! Oh no, the Cursed Wakka Doll's going there to eradicate the Evil Wakka and un-convert everyone!! OH CRUDDY CHEESE!" He got up, took another red potion in a crystalline bottle with the winged top, and sprinted across to the platform in order to un-convert the good Al Bhed, leaving our blue Ronso alone.
Kimahri wasn't happy with that. So he did what any sane Ronso would do. He scavenged the airship for a table, a few chairs, a deck of cards, and some poker chips. Then he set traps for a few of the Al Bhed Yevonites. After a few seconds, Kimahri had enough Yevonites and sat them down on the chairs, firmly informing them that they were NOT made by Al Bhed and were in no way machina. Happy that they were not breaking the Yevon law, they sat down and carefully made sure that their feet did not touch the floor.
Kimahri began speaking poker gibberish. I don't know poker gibberish so if you know what poker gibberish sounds like I will be more than happy to write down EXACTLY what poker gibberish Kimahri-chan says. Kimahri, being smart and the others being dumb, cheated. He ALWAYS got winning hands. Royal flushes, full houses, two pair, and so on. Eventually the Al Bhed Yevonites started to catch on. They KNEW something was wrong but they didn't know what it was. So they continued to play, but managed to foil our cheating Ronso without knowing it. So Kimahri growled and went to kitchens to make popcorn.
I'm tired of Kimahri, Rikku, and Rin. I'm going to Auron and Lulu.
Auron was getting bored. Kicking Wakka in the head with the blitzball wasn't fun anymore. He kicked once more for good measure, then cast Sleep on Wakka, so he wouldn't move or anything. Lulu pouted.
"What did you do that for?" she asked. Lulu was having fun hurting Wakka. Sure he had grown up with her, sure he would have become her brother- in-law if Chappu hadn't died, sure he was her friend and they had gone through many hardships together, sure he had died, but fun is fun and that's all that really matters, isn't it?
"I'm tired of kicking Wakka; there is no point to it."
"So? It's still fun."
Auron frowned. "No it's not. Besides, the red bubbly stuff looks dangerous."
Lulu just realized that there was red bubbly stuff on the top of the airship. That was QUEER. Lulu CAREFULLY walked over to it. Slowly, she crouched down, making sure nothing touched the red bubbly stuff.
If you haven't figured out that the red bubbly stuff is what remains of the red potion in the crystalline bottle with the winged cap then you're pretty stupid.
Auron too stepped toward the red bubbly stuff. Suspense rose as the stuff spread out and grew even MORE bubbly! Then Wakka snored and ruined everything. Cursing Wakka, Lulu got up and kicked him in the head. She waited a little while to see if he had gotten up, but, thankfully, he hadn't. So Lulu went BACK to the bubbly stuff.
Tidus and Yuna put down their noodle bowls and teacups. Tidus gave an ungentlemanly belch. Yuna frowned at him.
"You should say excuse me," she said pointedly.
"Why?" Tidus replied innocently.
"Because you belched a hideous belch and you should say excuse me. That's what we call etiquette, Tidus."
Tidus merely stuck his tongue out at her and lay down. "There are a lot of clouds up here. LOOK! That one looks like Bahamut!"
Actually, the cloud Tidus was pointing at looked more like a deformed potato. Yuna laughed and pointed to another cloud. "And that one looks like a blitzball!"
Tidus gave her a reproving look. "Yuna," he said gently, "ANY round cloud can look like a blitzball. Have more imagination, love."
Whoa, that's a new one.
Yuna's eyes hunted the sky. She wanted a pretty cloud, one that looked amazing. She gasped in alarm at the next cloud she saw. "Oh my gosh, Tidus, LOOK AT THAT!"
It was a cloud that looked like Seymour's head.
"DAMMIT!" yelled Tidus. "WHY CAN'T THAT STUPID GUADO JUST LEAVE US IN PEACE? I SWEAR, IF HE COMES BACK TO LIFE AGAIN, I'M NOT GOING TO BE HAPPY AT ALL!"
Yuna didn't like the yelling so she knocked him unconscious with a well aimed smack from her Nirvana. Not caring if she had caused Tidus permanent brain damage, she gazed at the Seymour cloud. It stayed there. It didn't move. It didn't merge with any clouds. And it looked more and more and more like Seymour as the seconds ticked by. Getting angry at the stupid Guado that had already been dead and made her MARRY HIM in those UGLY clothes of his, she prayed for her aim to be true. Holding out a hand, she said, "Thundara," and rendered the cloud into little pieces of fluff. She smiled and decided to take a nap.
****TO OUR BELOVED IDIOT-SAMA****
Idiot woke up. Idiot was confused. Idiot didn't know why his nose hurt so much. Idiot didn't know what happened to pretty Rikku. Idiot didn't understand why there was an unconscious and brutally beaten Al Bhed Yevonite Wakka. Idiot only wanted to see Rikku. Idiot liked Rikku. Rikku was nice. Then Idiot frowned. Rikku had hit Idiot in the face. Idiot had definitely NOT liked that.
"E vunkeja oui Rikku!" he called. "Ed'c ugyo dryd oui red sa! E cdemm muja oui!" (I forgive you Rikku! It's okay that you hit me! I still love you!) Leaping up from the spot where he had been lying, he ran out the door. Or tried to run out the door. He rammed into the door and knocked himself unconscious. Poor Idiot.
******TO BE CONTINUED?******
A/n: YES IT WILL LIVE ON! IT WILL BE CONTINUED!! AND I WANT MORE REVIEWS!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
**Quote of the Day** "Don't touch the staff. And don't forget to wash your hands before you come to dinner." - Cimorene, Talking to Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede
Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, you know the drill.
The Cursed Wakka Doll: written by MoMo-ChAn and idea by Choco
Chapter 9
The Cursed Wakka Doll just sort of sat, staring at the pretty liquid in the pretty crystalline bottle with the pretty winged top. Pretty. He didn't know why the pretty red potion made him feel so pretty. Pretty was a pretty word. He was ignorant to the "WHACK!" that was the blitzball hurtling at Wakka's head. He was ignorant to the slurping that was Tidus and Yuna drinking tea and eating noodles. He was just sort of there. The Cursed Wakka Doll was in a trance.
Kimahri was not. Kimahri seemed smarter. Maybe it was too much air that made Kimahri and other Ronsos illiterate fools. Hey, you show me a Ronso who can read and write and I'll change this. Kimahri walked BACK to the control room and found Rikku mercilessly pounding an unconscious Al Bhed convert who had, somehow, gotten in there.
"WAKKA!" she screamed, pounding away, "NO MORE WAKKA!"
Kimahri smiled contentedly. No, not that freaky smile that he showed to Tidus in Djose, but a rather feral grin, like the grin of a wolf when he has caught his prey. Putting on the wig, which made him look absolutely ridiculous, he tapped Rikku's shoulder. Rikku looked up and screamed.
Just think about it for a sec. Kimahri is a bipedal splice between a feral cat and a human who decided to dye his fur blue and white and wear funny clothes. Then he decides to put on a Wakka wig and scare an Al Bhed girl who has been driven crazy by lack of oxygen. This Al Bhed girl has developed a fear of Wakka and buttons. Everything is distorted for her.
Cruel Kimahri makes his eyes go glossy and says, "Ya," tonelessly.
That was it. Rikku snapped.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Rikku screamed, thwacking Kimahri with her God Hand and running out of there. "WAKKA!! WAKKA KIMAHRI!! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD PEOPLE!!"
The Al Bhed converts heard this. Now Yevonites + End of the World shout = Not Good. They stopped for a minute and looked at each other. Then it finally registered in their minds. CHA-CHING!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! END OF THE WORLD, YA?!" they shouted, running around and knocking into each other and throwing their blitzballs at each other and jumping up and down so as to prevent touching the airship. "MACHINA!"
Sorry people. I gotta go look up Gandhi for my mother. Hold on.
Ah yes. "SAVE US YEVON!" screamed the Al Bhed Yevonites. Rikku punched and pushed them out of the way, yelling, "TIDUS! YUNIE! LULU! AURON! KIMAHRI'S A ZOMBIE YEVONITE WAKKA!!!!!!" Rikku ran crazily to the platform thingy and went up. Going over to Auron (because he's the responsible one) and yelled in his ear, "KIMAHRI'SAYEVONITEYOUGOTTADOSOMETHINGI'MSCAREDDOSOMETHINGALREADY!!!!!!!" (Kimahri's a Yevonite, you gotta do something, I'm scared, do something already!!!!!!!) Auron did not like being yelled at.
"Enough," Auron said, hitting Rikku soundly on the head. "I'm kicking a blitzball at Wakka's head and it's oddly amusing."
"BUT WHAT ABOUT THE BUTTONS?!"
"What about the buttons?" Lulu growled, as her kicked narrowly hit Wakka and careened toward Auron.
"THE BUTTONS!!!"
"Go talk to Tidus and Yuna," Auron said, kicking the blitzball hard.
"Ya!" said Stupid Wakka.
THWACK!
"YOU HEATHEN!" cried Evil Wakka.
Rikku ran to Tidus and Yuna and accidentally stepped on the CWD, which was walking as if he were drunk because of the pretty red potion. And because he was stepped on, he lost his hold of the pretty red potion.
In actuality, the pretty red potion was supposed to eradicate the Evil Wakka. Rin, being God, had determined that if the person who was the original curse caster was destroyed, everything was to be back to normal. What it would do as the pretty crystalline bottle crashed on the metal of the airship, we don't know.
CRASH!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried the Cursed Wakka Doll, his smushed little hand extended toward the remnants of the bottle with the winged cap and the red potion. "WHY YEVON, WHY?!"
Rikku tried to regain her breath as Tidus and Yuna sipped and slurped their food and drink. They both turned to her, their own eyes glossy.
"Yes Rikku?" Yuna asked sleepily.
"KIMAHRI'S A YEVONITE!" she hollered.
"That's nice," said Tidus, getting hit in the face with a wet noodle that he had slurped. "But we are eating and drinking these noodles and tea which had miraculously appeared in front of us."
"BUT KIMAHRI'S A YEVONITE!"
"DIE, YA?!" came the war cry of the CWD as he attached himself to Rikku's left leg. He then proceeded to bite her. Screaming, Rikku hopped around on her right leg and shook her left one. Not watching where she was going, she slipped on the red potion and then fell on the platform thingy, which took her back down.
"THAT HURT!" Rikku bellowed, taking a swing at the CWD on her knees.
"GOOD, YA?!" the CWD hollered right back, dodging her swing and lunging at her arm so as to take in another bite of her flesh. Too bad he never got the chance. Rikku had anticipated his move and grabbed him in midair. Cackling crazily, she got up, used a potion on her damaged leg, and sprinted for the kitchen. She was gonna have some fun!
Kimahri had healed from Rikku's attack and was laughing with Rin. "So stupid Rikku scream like this," he said, and imitated Rikku's girlish scream as well as he could with his deep Ronso voice, "and ran to stupid Tidus! Kimahri have much fun."
Rin only nodded. "Yes, and where is Tidus?"
"On top of airship."
Rin's eyes grew wide. "WHAT?! Oh no, the Cursed Wakka Doll's going there to eradicate the Evil Wakka and un-convert everyone!! OH CRUDDY CHEESE!" He got up, took another red potion in a crystalline bottle with the winged top, and sprinted across to the platform in order to un-convert the good Al Bhed, leaving our blue Ronso alone.
Kimahri wasn't happy with that. So he did what any sane Ronso would do. He scavenged the airship for a table, a few chairs, a deck of cards, and some poker chips. Then he set traps for a few of the Al Bhed Yevonites. After a few seconds, Kimahri had enough Yevonites and sat them down on the chairs, firmly informing them that they were NOT made by Al Bhed and were in no way machina. Happy that they were not breaking the Yevon law, they sat down and carefully made sure that their feet did not touch the floor.
Kimahri began speaking poker gibberish. I don't know poker gibberish so if you know what poker gibberish sounds like I will be more than happy to write down EXACTLY what poker gibberish Kimahri-chan says. Kimahri, being smart and the others being dumb, cheated. He ALWAYS got winning hands. Royal flushes, full houses, two pair, and so on. Eventually the Al Bhed Yevonites started to catch on. They KNEW something was wrong but they didn't know what it was. So they continued to play, but managed to foil our cheating Ronso without knowing it. So Kimahri growled and went to kitchens to make popcorn.
I'm tired of Kimahri, Rikku, and Rin. I'm going to Auron and Lulu.
Auron was getting bored. Kicking Wakka in the head with the blitzball wasn't fun anymore. He kicked once more for good measure, then cast Sleep on Wakka, so he wouldn't move or anything. Lulu pouted.
"What did you do that for?" she asked. Lulu was having fun hurting Wakka. Sure he had grown up with her, sure he would have become her brother- in-law if Chappu hadn't died, sure he was her friend and they had gone through many hardships together, sure he had died, but fun is fun and that's all that really matters, isn't it?
"I'm tired of kicking Wakka; there is no point to it."
"So? It's still fun."
Auron frowned. "No it's not. Besides, the red bubbly stuff looks dangerous."
Lulu just realized that there was red bubbly stuff on the top of the airship. That was QUEER. Lulu CAREFULLY walked over to it. Slowly, she crouched down, making sure nothing touched the red bubbly stuff.
If you haven't figured out that the red bubbly stuff is what remains of the red potion in the crystalline bottle with the winged cap then you're pretty stupid.
Auron too stepped toward the red bubbly stuff. Suspense rose as the stuff spread out and grew even MORE bubbly! Then Wakka snored and ruined everything. Cursing Wakka, Lulu got up and kicked him in the head. She waited a little while to see if he had gotten up, but, thankfully, he hadn't. So Lulu went BACK to the bubbly stuff.
Tidus and Yuna put down their noodle bowls and teacups. Tidus gave an ungentlemanly belch. Yuna frowned at him.
"You should say excuse me," she said pointedly.
"Why?" Tidus replied innocently.
"Because you belched a hideous belch and you should say excuse me. That's what we call etiquette, Tidus."
Tidus merely stuck his tongue out at her and lay down. "There are a lot of clouds up here. LOOK! That one looks like Bahamut!"
Actually, the cloud Tidus was pointing at looked more like a deformed potato. Yuna laughed and pointed to another cloud. "And that one looks like a blitzball!"
Tidus gave her a reproving look. "Yuna," he said gently, "ANY round cloud can look like a blitzball. Have more imagination, love."
Whoa, that's a new one.
Yuna's eyes hunted the sky. She wanted a pretty cloud, one that looked amazing. She gasped in alarm at the next cloud she saw. "Oh my gosh, Tidus, LOOK AT THAT!"
It was a cloud that looked like Seymour's head.
"DAMMIT!" yelled Tidus. "WHY CAN'T THAT STUPID GUADO JUST LEAVE US IN PEACE? I SWEAR, IF HE COMES BACK TO LIFE AGAIN, I'M NOT GOING TO BE HAPPY AT ALL!"
Yuna didn't like the yelling so she knocked him unconscious with a well aimed smack from her Nirvana. Not caring if she had caused Tidus permanent brain damage, she gazed at the Seymour cloud. It stayed there. It didn't move. It didn't merge with any clouds. And it looked more and more and more like Seymour as the seconds ticked by. Getting angry at the stupid Guado that had already been dead and made her MARRY HIM in those UGLY clothes of his, she prayed for her aim to be true. Holding out a hand, she said, "Thundara," and rendered the cloud into little pieces of fluff. She smiled and decided to take a nap.
****TO OUR BELOVED IDIOT-SAMA****
Idiot woke up. Idiot was confused. Idiot didn't know why his nose hurt so much. Idiot didn't know what happened to pretty Rikku. Idiot didn't understand why there was an unconscious and brutally beaten Al Bhed Yevonite Wakka. Idiot only wanted to see Rikku. Idiot liked Rikku. Rikku was nice. Then Idiot frowned. Rikku had hit Idiot in the face. Idiot had definitely NOT liked that.
"E vunkeja oui Rikku!" he called. "Ed'c ugyo dryd oui red sa! E cdemm muja oui!" (I forgive you Rikku! It's okay that you hit me! I still love you!) Leaping up from the spot where he had been lying, he ran out the door. Or tried to run out the door. He rammed into the door and knocked himself unconscious. Poor Idiot.
******TO BE CONTINUED?******
A/n: YES IT WILL LIVE ON! IT WILL BE CONTINUED!! AND I WANT MORE REVIEWS!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!