A/N: I GOT MAGIC KNIGHT RAYEARTH! WOO HOO! Hey, minna, if you haven't
beaten the game yet, well then this is gonna spoil stuff for ya!
**Quote of the Day** "Akira this apple pie tastes rather . . . unique." - Imonoyama Nokorou, CLAMP School Detectives by CLAMP
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X. You probably already knew that . . .
The Cursed Wakka Doll: by MoMo-ChAn
Chapter 10
Hmm . . . let's see, why don't we start with Kimahri? Yes, Kimahri's always good . . .
Kimahri wanted popcorn. Kimahri went to the kitchen. Kimarhi dreamed of kettlecorn. Kimahri love kettlecorn. But unfortunately for Kimahri, Rikku was in the kitchen as well. Rikku, having gone stark raving mad, had tied the CWD to a cutting board with spare twine. Where did she get the twine? I don't know.
"Now you're gonna die," giggled Rikku, picking out a knife.
"You don't want to do this, ya?" the CWD said frantically, "If you kill me, bad stuff will happen, ya?"
"I don't care, Wakka die, you die, EVERYBODY DIE!" cackled Rikku, brandishing the knife crazily.
"Please don't do this, I'm begging you, ya!"
"What Rikku doing?"
Rikku stopped brandishing the knife and looked at our favorite blue Ronso. "I'm gonna kill the doll, that's what I'm doing. An' then I'm gonna kill you, you Wakka-like Yevonite Kimahri!"
"Kimahri not Yevonite. Kimahri play poker with stupid Al Bhed converts."
"AHA!" yelled Rikku. "Fraternizing with the enemy, eh?!"
Kimahri was sick of Rikku. Rikku was being very annoying. Kimahri got mad. Kimahri took out his spear and knocked the knife out of Rikku's hand, causing Rikku to holler in pain and grab her injured hand.
"Stop being stupid."
Rikku stuck her tongue out at him. "What do you know? I thought you told me to be me in Macalania, you stupid evil Wakka-like Yevonite Kimahri!"
Kimahri roared, causing Rikku to run and cower in a corner. "KIMAHRI IS NOT YEVONITE! KIMAHRI IS KIMAHRI!"
"But the hair . . ."
"That was wig, stupid Al Bhed girl."
Rikku's eyes widened. "A wig?"
"HE SAID IT WAS A WIG! NOW UNTIE ME, YA?!"
Rikku stared at the CWD, lying helpless on the cutting board, bound to the rectangular piece of wood with spare twine. Kimahri, however, was sick of all of it and looked through the cupboards to find the popcorn he wanted. Kimahri searched and searched and searched, but could only find cheese popcorn, caramel popcorn, and butter popcorn. Roaring in dismay, Kimahri stomped out of the room, making a mental note to find kettlecorn once all the craziness was done and over with.
*****TO THE RED BUBBLY STUFF*****
"It's spreading."
Auron's flat statement only made the obvious seem more real. Yes, the red bubbly stuff was spreading and it didn't look nice.
"What should we do?" asked Lulu, looking for guidance in the elder guardian.
Auron looked at Lulu as if she were Wakka. "Lulu," he said patiently, "do YOU think that I've ever been around red bubbly stuff?"
"You've been to a dream Zanarkand."
"That doesn't mean anything."
"Still."
Auron just looked at her. You know the look. It's THE LOOK. OK, OK, I don't know what I'm talking about, but everyone has a look! They don't? Well Auron does, so shut up! Anyway, Auron continued to stare at Lulu until she squirmed under his gaze. She looked at the red bubbly stuff. It was taking shape. A human shape. Both Lulu and Auron backed off. The red bubbly stuff turned into a dark tan person with shoulder length dreadlocks and had clothes very much like . . .
"JECHT?!" shouted Auron in surprise, his voice so colossal that it woke Tidus. Jecht was looking around.
"What the hell? Braska? Where are you?" Jecht then noticed Auron and Lulu. "Auron? What happened here? And weren't you with my crybaby of a son?"
"I AM NOT A CRYBABY!"
Jecht replied with: "Then how come you cried when you told me you hated me?"
"SHUT UP!" Tidus roared back, grabbing Yuna's wrist and dragging her along through the air because he was running too fast. He came to a screeching halt and Yuna was thrown against Lulu, who caught her and nearly fell over. "How the hell did you come back to life? I thought we left you behind in the Farplane, like you wanted!"
Jecht shrugged. "I dunno. There was this red sucking vortex in the Farplane and I just kinda got stuck in it." Jecht noticed Yuna. "Hey. Your dad's doing fine. But the (this is a PG fic) won't get rid of those damn freakish clothes of his!"
Tidus snorted. "As if your clothes were any better."
"You wanna make something of it, crybaby?"
"You're all washed up, old man."
Jecht and Tidus glared at each other. Yuna righted herself, shaking her head in order to get everything back in place. "Wait, wait, wait. Didn't you guys get along in the Farplane?"
Auron stared at her incredulously. "Are you insane? These two fought and challenged each other so much even I had to tell them to 'shut the hell up before I make you sorry you're dead.' And I don't say things like that."
Lulu nodded. "That's right, he doesn't."
All of them heard a bubble pop. (If any of you know anything about anime, then you'd know what I'm talking about.)
"So, you thought you could destroy me, ya?" Evil Wakka said, grinning malevolently.
Jecht raised an eyebrow and jutted a thumb at the Evil Wakka. "What's the freak's problem? Didn't earn enough money to get a better haircut?"
Evil Wakka glowered. "I'll have you know that this is a GOOD hairstyle, ya!"
Jecht kept looking at him. "Hey, you look familiar. Weren't you in the Farplane?"
Evil Wakka nodded. "Yes. But I got out. How's Chappu?"
"Wishing he weren't dead 'cause he wants to know how his girl turned out."
Lulu blushed a marvelous shade of red that didn't complement her dress at all. Evil Wakka frowned. "That reminds me, ya? Chappu became a Crusader. He's no Yevonite; he's evil! Yevon will punish him, ya!"
"Oh yeah, him. Yevon's finally come to the Farplane," Jecht nodded, recalling the smoky black floaty orb thingy that was Sin. I don't like Yu Yevon. He's so damn annoying. I mean seriously, just DIE. But no-o. He's has to use stupid attacks and make my PS2 freeze. TYSH OUI DU RAMM YEVON! TU OUI RAYN SA?! TYSH OUI DU- oh sorry. I just get so mad when I think about that stupid, hateful- I'm sorry, I'll stop now.
"What? Yevon can't die, ya? Yevon is God, ya!"
"No," said Tidus, "Rin is God."
"What?" everyone said, staring at Tidus.
"Why're you looking at me?"
"You just said something about Rin and God," Yuna replied.
"Really? Hm, then why don't I remember?"
They all pondered this great question when they heard a rumble. They all looked for the source when they heard another rumble. Stupid Wakka laughed sheepishly.
"I guess I'm hungry, ya?"
******TO IDIOT-SAMA******
Idiot's head hurt. Now he had a smushed, crusty bloodied nose and a lump on his head. Idiot did NOT feel good. Idiot needed an aspirin and he needed one fast. Idiot managed to get to his feet, wobbling a bit. This time the cockpit door was nice and opened for him. Idiot stumbled through all the screaming, jumping Al Bhed Yevonites, his headache getting worse by the second. He staggered into the kitchen in time to see Rikku and the Cursed Wakka Doll making sushi.
"No, ya? You're doing it all wrong. You roll it like this, ya . . ."
"Oh, I see."
"Fryd'c kuehk uh?" Idiot asked Rikku, wondering why Al Bhed girl was making friends with the thing that turned her family into Yevonite freaks of nature. (What's going on?)
Rikku turned around, her hands covered in gooky stuff from the fish. "Oh, me and CWD were just making some sushi. Since he can't do much with those cloth hands of his, he tells me how to make the sushi."
Idiot had no idea what Rikku just said. Idiot does not know Spiran. "E tur'd cbayg Spiran, Rikku. Fryd tet oui cyo?" (I can't speak Spiran, Rikku. What did you say?)
Rikku translated her earlier sentences for Idiot and then asked what was troubling him.
"Oui bihlrat sa eh dra vyla yht drah E ghulgat ehdu dra tuun. E haat cisa ycbeneh." (You punched me in the face and then I knocked into the door. I need some aspirin.)
"Ur kaaq . . . E's cunno. E fyc y meddma lnyqo drah," Rikku apologized looking very sheepish. She washed her hands and then looked for the aspirin that Idiot needed and got a glass of water as well. She handed both items to Idiot, which he took gratefully and gulped down. Rikku then returned to her fish. (Oh geez . . . I'm sorry. I was a little crazy then.)
"Fro yna oui sygehk cicre fedr dra CWD?" (Why are you making sushi with the CWD?)
Rikku, however, was only concentrating on the sushi. Idiot's head was hurting even more now, even though he took the stupid aspirin. Idiot wanted to sleep. Idiot left the kitchen, wondering why he fell in love with a nutcase like her. He nearly collided with Rin, who was a little battered, but sidestepped just in time. Finding a bed, which was Cid's, he collapsed on it and began to sleep. The day was just not making sense to him. Then again, they never did.
*****TO BE CONTINUED*****
A/N: All right, I'm done with this chapter. If I'm lucky I'll have this fic wrapped up in two or three chapters. You know you guys, you should leave your video games alone. Check out some manga. Watch some anime. Sleep. Learn Al Bhed. IM me and compliment me endlessly on how marvelous my fanfic is. But review before you do any of that stuff. You don't want to hurt my feelings do you? Thanks!
**Quote of the Day** "Akira this apple pie tastes rather . . . unique." - Imonoyama Nokorou, CLAMP School Detectives by CLAMP
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X. You probably already knew that . . .
The Cursed Wakka Doll: by MoMo-ChAn
Chapter 10
Hmm . . . let's see, why don't we start with Kimahri? Yes, Kimahri's always good . . .
Kimahri wanted popcorn. Kimahri went to the kitchen. Kimarhi dreamed of kettlecorn. Kimahri love kettlecorn. But unfortunately for Kimahri, Rikku was in the kitchen as well. Rikku, having gone stark raving mad, had tied the CWD to a cutting board with spare twine. Where did she get the twine? I don't know.
"Now you're gonna die," giggled Rikku, picking out a knife.
"You don't want to do this, ya?" the CWD said frantically, "If you kill me, bad stuff will happen, ya?"
"I don't care, Wakka die, you die, EVERYBODY DIE!" cackled Rikku, brandishing the knife crazily.
"Please don't do this, I'm begging you, ya!"
"What Rikku doing?"
Rikku stopped brandishing the knife and looked at our favorite blue Ronso. "I'm gonna kill the doll, that's what I'm doing. An' then I'm gonna kill you, you Wakka-like Yevonite Kimahri!"
"Kimahri not Yevonite. Kimahri play poker with stupid Al Bhed converts."
"AHA!" yelled Rikku. "Fraternizing with the enemy, eh?!"
Kimahri was sick of Rikku. Rikku was being very annoying. Kimahri got mad. Kimahri took out his spear and knocked the knife out of Rikku's hand, causing Rikku to holler in pain and grab her injured hand.
"Stop being stupid."
Rikku stuck her tongue out at him. "What do you know? I thought you told me to be me in Macalania, you stupid evil Wakka-like Yevonite Kimahri!"
Kimahri roared, causing Rikku to run and cower in a corner. "KIMAHRI IS NOT YEVONITE! KIMAHRI IS KIMAHRI!"
"But the hair . . ."
"That was wig, stupid Al Bhed girl."
Rikku's eyes widened. "A wig?"
"HE SAID IT WAS A WIG! NOW UNTIE ME, YA?!"
Rikku stared at the CWD, lying helpless on the cutting board, bound to the rectangular piece of wood with spare twine. Kimahri, however, was sick of all of it and looked through the cupboards to find the popcorn he wanted. Kimahri searched and searched and searched, but could only find cheese popcorn, caramel popcorn, and butter popcorn. Roaring in dismay, Kimahri stomped out of the room, making a mental note to find kettlecorn once all the craziness was done and over with.
*****TO THE RED BUBBLY STUFF*****
"It's spreading."
Auron's flat statement only made the obvious seem more real. Yes, the red bubbly stuff was spreading and it didn't look nice.
"What should we do?" asked Lulu, looking for guidance in the elder guardian.
Auron looked at Lulu as if she were Wakka. "Lulu," he said patiently, "do YOU think that I've ever been around red bubbly stuff?"
"You've been to a dream Zanarkand."
"That doesn't mean anything."
"Still."
Auron just looked at her. You know the look. It's THE LOOK. OK, OK, I don't know what I'm talking about, but everyone has a look! They don't? Well Auron does, so shut up! Anyway, Auron continued to stare at Lulu until she squirmed under his gaze. She looked at the red bubbly stuff. It was taking shape. A human shape. Both Lulu and Auron backed off. The red bubbly stuff turned into a dark tan person with shoulder length dreadlocks and had clothes very much like . . .
"JECHT?!" shouted Auron in surprise, his voice so colossal that it woke Tidus. Jecht was looking around.
"What the hell? Braska? Where are you?" Jecht then noticed Auron and Lulu. "Auron? What happened here? And weren't you with my crybaby of a son?"
"I AM NOT A CRYBABY!"
Jecht replied with: "Then how come you cried when you told me you hated me?"
"SHUT UP!" Tidus roared back, grabbing Yuna's wrist and dragging her along through the air because he was running too fast. He came to a screeching halt and Yuna was thrown against Lulu, who caught her and nearly fell over. "How the hell did you come back to life? I thought we left you behind in the Farplane, like you wanted!"
Jecht shrugged. "I dunno. There was this red sucking vortex in the Farplane and I just kinda got stuck in it." Jecht noticed Yuna. "Hey. Your dad's doing fine. But the (this is a PG fic) won't get rid of those damn freakish clothes of his!"
Tidus snorted. "As if your clothes were any better."
"You wanna make something of it, crybaby?"
"You're all washed up, old man."
Jecht and Tidus glared at each other. Yuna righted herself, shaking her head in order to get everything back in place. "Wait, wait, wait. Didn't you guys get along in the Farplane?"
Auron stared at her incredulously. "Are you insane? These two fought and challenged each other so much even I had to tell them to 'shut the hell up before I make you sorry you're dead.' And I don't say things like that."
Lulu nodded. "That's right, he doesn't."
All of them heard a bubble pop. (If any of you know anything about anime, then you'd know what I'm talking about.)
"So, you thought you could destroy me, ya?" Evil Wakka said, grinning malevolently.
Jecht raised an eyebrow and jutted a thumb at the Evil Wakka. "What's the freak's problem? Didn't earn enough money to get a better haircut?"
Evil Wakka glowered. "I'll have you know that this is a GOOD hairstyle, ya!"
Jecht kept looking at him. "Hey, you look familiar. Weren't you in the Farplane?"
Evil Wakka nodded. "Yes. But I got out. How's Chappu?"
"Wishing he weren't dead 'cause he wants to know how his girl turned out."
Lulu blushed a marvelous shade of red that didn't complement her dress at all. Evil Wakka frowned. "That reminds me, ya? Chappu became a Crusader. He's no Yevonite; he's evil! Yevon will punish him, ya!"
"Oh yeah, him. Yevon's finally come to the Farplane," Jecht nodded, recalling the smoky black floaty orb thingy that was Sin. I don't like Yu Yevon. He's so damn annoying. I mean seriously, just DIE. But no-o. He's has to use stupid attacks and make my PS2 freeze. TYSH OUI DU RAMM YEVON! TU OUI RAYN SA?! TYSH OUI DU- oh sorry. I just get so mad when I think about that stupid, hateful- I'm sorry, I'll stop now.
"What? Yevon can't die, ya? Yevon is God, ya!"
"No," said Tidus, "Rin is God."
"What?" everyone said, staring at Tidus.
"Why're you looking at me?"
"You just said something about Rin and God," Yuna replied.
"Really? Hm, then why don't I remember?"
They all pondered this great question when they heard a rumble. They all looked for the source when they heard another rumble. Stupid Wakka laughed sheepishly.
"I guess I'm hungry, ya?"
******TO IDIOT-SAMA******
Idiot's head hurt. Now he had a smushed, crusty bloodied nose and a lump on his head. Idiot did NOT feel good. Idiot needed an aspirin and he needed one fast. Idiot managed to get to his feet, wobbling a bit. This time the cockpit door was nice and opened for him. Idiot stumbled through all the screaming, jumping Al Bhed Yevonites, his headache getting worse by the second. He staggered into the kitchen in time to see Rikku and the Cursed Wakka Doll making sushi.
"No, ya? You're doing it all wrong. You roll it like this, ya . . ."
"Oh, I see."
"Fryd'c kuehk uh?" Idiot asked Rikku, wondering why Al Bhed girl was making friends with the thing that turned her family into Yevonite freaks of nature. (What's going on?)
Rikku turned around, her hands covered in gooky stuff from the fish. "Oh, me and CWD were just making some sushi. Since he can't do much with those cloth hands of his, he tells me how to make the sushi."
Idiot had no idea what Rikku just said. Idiot does not know Spiran. "E tur'd cbayg Spiran, Rikku. Fryd tet oui cyo?" (I can't speak Spiran, Rikku. What did you say?)
Rikku translated her earlier sentences for Idiot and then asked what was troubling him.
"Oui bihlrat sa eh dra vyla yht drah E ghulgat ehdu dra tuun. E haat cisa ycbeneh." (You punched me in the face and then I knocked into the door. I need some aspirin.)
"Ur kaaq . . . E's cunno. E fyc y meddma lnyqo drah," Rikku apologized looking very sheepish. She washed her hands and then looked for the aspirin that Idiot needed and got a glass of water as well. She handed both items to Idiot, which he took gratefully and gulped down. Rikku then returned to her fish. (Oh geez . . . I'm sorry. I was a little crazy then.)
"Fro yna oui sygehk cicre fedr dra CWD?" (Why are you making sushi with the CWD?)
Rikku, however, was only concentrating on the sushi. Idiot's head was hurting even more now, even though he took the stupid aspirin. Idiot wanted to sleep. Idiot left the kitchen, wondering why he fell in love with a nutcase like her. He nearly collided with Rin, who was a little battered, but sidestepped just in time. Finding a bed, which was Cid's, he collapsed on it and began to sleep. The day was just not making sense to him. Then again, they never did.
*****TO BE CONTINUED*****
A/N: All right, I'm done with this chapter. If I'm lucky I'll have this fic wrapped up in two or three chapters. You know you guys, you should leave your video games alone. Check out some manga. Watch some anime. Sleep. Learn Al Bhed. IM me and compliment me endlessly on how marvelous my fanfic is. But review before you do any of that stuff. You don't want to hurt my feelings do you? Thanks!