A/N: Rammu! Ruf yna oui? Famm? Ruf yna oui? Kuut, E ruba. Yr famm, mad'c
kad drec drehk ujah fedr! (Translation at the bottom)
**Quote of the Day** "My famous cousin Warrl used to say that there is no such thing as coincidence, only mortals who have not fought the winds of fate." - Rris the kyree, friend of k' Sheyna Vale, Tale-spinner, History- keeper, and Lesson-teacher of the Hyrrrull Pack, from Winds of Fury, third book in the Mage Winds trilogy by Mercedes Lackey.
Disclaimer: I'm sure you've all caught on that I don't own Final Fantasy X.
The Cursed Wakka Doll: by MoMo-ChAn (I WILL NEVER PUT THE 1!)
Chapter 11
Everyone on the top of the airship, including Evil Wakka, seriously wanted to injure Stupid Wakka. "I guess I'm hungry?!" Jecht comes back to life and all he can think of is FOOD?! Lulu was seriously considering to try and find a way to erase Wakka's existence. (Now, I like Wakka, but I did warn you guys that there would be bashing.) Stupid Wakka still smiled sheepishly, waiting for a response.
"Then we should go to the kitchen," Yuna said carefully, not sure how the others would react.
"Good," said Jecht. "It's been- what? - twelve damn years since I've had a good meal. I'm famished."
Tidus snorted. "Well seeing as how you were Sin for ten years and then dead for two years or so after that, of course you wouldn't have a bloody meal."
"When the hell did you start saying bloody, boy?"
Tidus frowned. Jecht was his father, yes, and he had seen in the spheres that Jecht cared deeply about him, though he never showed it, but he had harbored a hatred for his father for the majority of his lifetime and that is not an easy thing to over come.
"I'm still hungry, ya?"
Everyone but Yuna shot Stupid Wakka death glares. Auron sighed and pushed up his sunglasses with his free arm. "At least you're not the Evil Wakka," he said, "otherwise you'd be throwing so many damned curses at us . . ."
Stupid Wakka nodded.
"Are we going to the kitchen?" Yuna asked tentatively, still uncertain of the moods of the people around her and certainly unnerved by the appearance of "Sir Jecht".
Jecht nodded. "Let's go."
"Who made YOU in charge?" Tidus asked sourly.
"Shut up," Jecht replied pushing Tidus' head down.
"IT IS THE EVIL MASKED TOILET!" cried the Flea.
Everyone blinked. "What?"
Oops. Sorry; watching Mucha Lucha makes me think of the evil masked toilet. And since the evil masked toilet is on the TV right now, I think of the evil masked toilet.
"Anyway," Lulu said, oddly disturbed, "let's just go to the kitchen."
As the strange group traveled down through the airship, they ran into several Al Bhed Yevonites. Jecht knocked a few of them out and spat on their unconscious faces.
"The hell is wrong with them? Is it dress-up-like-the-freak day?" Jecht asked.
"Didn't we tell you about the whole Cursed Wakka Doll?" Lulu replied.
"Cursed what?"
Auron launched into a detailed explanation of the past few . . . hours. Yes it's true! While this story has taken me months, only a few hours have passed in their world! Which is good, because if their time went at the same pace as our world then . . .
"HEY GET ON WITH THE STORY!"
Once again, I'm sorry.
Jecht stared at his old friend with skepticism. "You honestly expect me to believe that this moron," here he gestured to Stupid Wakka, "created a doll that would convert everyone in Spira into zombie Yevonite versions of him? This I gotta see."
As they walked down the hall, Jecht finally noticed that they were on something that depended on machina. "What's with the machina?"
Tidus looked at him scornfully, causing everyone to think that instead of hating his father now, he was jealous. "Don't you know anything? The whole reason people never used machina was because of Yevon's teachings and when the maesters were exposed to using machina and everyone found out that it was actually YEVON who was Sin, they kinda ignored the fact that the Al Bhed excavated an airship. Which they couldn't have done without me." Taking some pride in that last statement, Tidus looked up with a smug expression.
Jecht only knocked his son upside the head and snorted. "Please."
Tidus instantly deflated and was comforted by Yuna. Lulu and Auron hid their snickers and Stupid Wakka only looked confused. Jecht smirked and strutted in front of them all. But he wasn't watching where he was going and knocked straight into another Al Bhed Yevonite. Tidus laughed loudly. Growling, he attempted to knock out the Al Bhed. The Al Bhed, who just so happened to be Blappa, dodged with skill that he remembered from his blitzball career and screamed very loudly, "SINNING! SINNER!"
Lulu, whose hair made it so that she got very big headaches in a short time, scowled and unleashed some magic on Blappa. Blizzaga, to be exact. The poor convert froze in midair, then clattered to the ground.
"Stupid Al Bhed zombie Yevonite Wakka."
"Are we ever going to get to the kitchen?" Stupid Wakka wailed.
Yuna hit him on the head with her Nirvana. "Quiet. You're the one who caused all this trouble in the first place."
"But it was the OTHER me that did that!"
"And it's YOUR fault for not settling your feelings about the whole Yevonite thing."
Wakka only pouted and followed the others into the kitchen, where they met . . .
Rikku and the Cursed Wakka Doll.
"WHAT THE FREAKING HELL?!" Tidus shouted.
Rikku looked up from her plate of sushi. "Me 'n the CWD are chowin' down on this sushi I made. Want shum?" she said, spraying raw fish from her mouth. The others looked at her with disgust and a little green in the face from the raw fish.
"Rikku," Yuna said patiently, "you do realize that you are eating sushi with a doll that you hate?"
"How the hell can a doll eat?" Jecht said.
"It's not gonna make me a Yevonite, ya?"
Lulu threw her Onion Knight at Wakka's head. "You are so damn stupid. And people wonder why I didn't choose you over Chappu."
"Ish 'cause Chappu's a sinner," the CWD said, struggling with his chopsticks.
Auron looked at Rikku. "When did you learn to make sushi?"
"I don't know how to make sushi. That's why CWD taught me."
"This doesn't make any sense!" moaned Tidus.
"I don't think it's supposed to make sense, ya?"
Everyone shot death glares at Wakka, who only countered the glares with, "I'm still hungry, ya."
Normally, Yuna is a very calm person. She often hides her emotions so she does not cause unrest among those she loves. But when one bottles up all of one's emotions, one tends to explode at another's ignorance. Poor Wakka.
"THAT IS IT!" Yuna shrieked, causing everyone to cover their ears. "I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!! YOU! YOU STUPID, STUPID MAN!" And with that, she attacked Wakka, Nirvana coming down upon his head like a ton of bricks. "DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!"
Tidus and the others, except Rikku and the CWD, grabbed Yuna and tried to pry her off of Wakka. It was rather amazing watching three strong men and an incredibly powerful sorceress try to pry this weak looking girl off of another strong looking man. Yuna bit, kicked, scratched, screamed, and thwacked with her Nirvana. No one would stop her hurting Wakka. Wakka was now howling in pain, covering his head with his arms.
"THAT'S IT! SLEEP!" shouted Lulu, casting Sleep on Yuna, who promptly fell to the ground, snoring.
"HA! She DOES snore!" Tidus cried triumphantly.
"That HURT, ya!" whimpered Wakka, rubbing his arms ruefully.
Rikku was stuffing as much sushi as she could in her mouth while the CWD counted how many were in her mouth.
"Five, six, seven, eight, nine . . . Come on, you can do it, ya!" it cried, pumping its little arms in the air while Rikku's tongue tried to adjust the sushi in her mouth. Rikku shook her head, her eyes widening. She grabbed the wastebasket and spit out all the sushi. She gasped, grabbed a glass of water and chugged it down like there was no tomorrow.
"Wow, nine pieces of sushi, that's gotta be a world record!"
The CWD shook his head. "Nope, the record is set by Picolet Chardin IV, or something like that, with the fitting of 5,500 pieces of sushi in his mouth, ya."
Rikku's mouth dropped. "How the heck can anyone have THAT MUCH sushi in their mouth? What is he, some sort of freak?"
"Pretty much, ya."
"I've never heard of this Picolet."
"Who's Picolet, ya?"
Auron and Jecht grabbed Rikku and CWD. "That's enough of that," Auron said in a no-nonsense tone.
"Damn straight."
****WITH OUR BELOVED RIN****
Rin panted. What was wrong with the bloody airship?! It would not let him get to the platform thingy so he could get to Wakka and pour the red potion in the crystalline bottle with the golden winged cap on it on to his head. He opened the next door, only to see Kimahri play poker with Al Bhed converts.
"What are you doing?" Rin asked.
"Kimahri play poker. Kimahri win much gil."
"You're playing with zombie Al Bhed Yevonites!"
The converts froze, then threw their cards in the air screaming, "AL BHED! SINNERS!" They then jumped on their chairs, hollering.
Kimahri shot Rin a death glare, then roared. The converts immediately picked up their cards and sat in their seats quietly. Kimahri said, "Wait. Must talk to Rin." Kimahri got up, grabbed Rin's arm, and then took him outside.
"What you try to do to Kimahri?!" he shouted.
"What do you mean?" Rin said.
"Stupid converts throw cards in air, mix up hands and now they might have better hands than Kimahri! Kimahri no like that! Kimahri have 100 gil riding on poker game!"
"I-I-I-I'm sorry, Kimahri," Rin stammered, "I didn't mean to cause any harm. It's just that . . . What the hell are you doing? Why are you playing with Al Bhed Yevonites?"
"Because Kimahri make lots of gil."
Rin stared in amazement at Kimahri. Then he nodded. He understood the need for money. After all, he ran a business, didn't he? And how many customers had he cheated? Several! With his high prices and other stores eliminated, they had had to pay!
"Nice job Kimahri."
"Kimahri know."
"Well I have to go to the top of the airship, can you help me get there?"
"Why Rin have to go to top of airship?"
"So I can destroy the Evil Wakka."
"Wakka not on top of airship anymore."
Rin looked surprised. "What?"
Kimahri nodded. "Tidus, Yuna, Lulu, Auron, Stupid Wakka, and Jecht all come by door, talking about Cursed Wakka Doll and hunger."
"Oh I- wait a minute, did you say Jecht? As in SIR JECHT?"
Kimahri nodded. "Kimahri must go back to game now." And with that he turned around and entered the room to play some poker. Rin shook his head. This was getting too weird. But how did Sir Jecht come to this world? One could only wonder. But Kimahri did say they were talking about hunger and the only place that a hungry person would go would be . . .
The kitchen.
Rin sprinted towards the kitchen and prayed to some sort of deity.
******TO BE CONTINUED******
A/N: Translation- Hello! How are you? Well? How are you? Good, I hope. Ah well, let's get this thing over with! Oh by the way, Picolet belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. I'm hoping the next chapter will be the last . . . And hopefully you won't have long to wait!
**Quote of the Day** "My famous cousin Warrl used to say that there is no such thing as coincidence, only mortals who have not fought the winds of fate." - Rris the kyree, friend of k' Sheyna Vale, Tale-spinner, History- keeper, and Lesson-teacher of the Hyrrrull Pack, from Winds of Fury, third book in the Mage Winds trilogy by Mercedes Lackey.
Disclaimer: I'm sure you've all caught on that I don't own Final Fantasy X.
The Cursed Wakka Doll: by MoMo-ChAn (I WILL NEVER PUT THE 1!)
Chapter 11
Everyone on the top of the airship, including Evil Wakka, seriously wanted to injure Stupid Wakka. "I guess I'm hungry?!" Jecht comes back to life and all he can think of is FOOD?! Lulu was seriously considering to try and find a way to erase Wakka's existence. (Now, I like Wakka, but I did warn you guys that there would be bashing.) Stupid Wakka still smiled sheepishly, waiting for a response.
"Then we should go to the kitchen," Yuna said carefully, not sure how the others would react.
"Good," said Jecht. "It's been- what? - twelve damn years since I've had a good meal. I'm famished."
Tidus snorted. "Well seeing as how you were Sin for ten years and then dead for two years or so after that, of course you wouldn't have a bloody meal."
"When the hell did you start saying bloody, boy?"
Tidus frowned. Jecht was his father, yes, and he had seen in the spheres that Jecht cared deeply about him, though he never showed it, but he had harbored a hatred for his father for the majority of his lifetime and that is not an easy thing to over come.
"I'm still hungry, ya?"
Everyone but Yuna shot Stupid Wakka death glares. Auron sighed and pushed up his sunglasses with his free arm. "At least you're not the Evil Wakka," he said, "otherwise you'd be throwing so many damned curses at us . . ."
Stupid Wakka nodded.
"Are we going to the kitchen?" Yuna asked tentatively, still uncertain of the moods of the people around her and certainly unnerved by the appearance of "Sir Jecht".
Jecht nodded. "Let's go."
"Who made YOU in charge?" Tidus asked sourly.
"Shut up," Jecht replied pushing Tidus' head down.
"IT IS THE EVIL MASKED TOILET!" cried the Flea.
Everyone blinked. "What?"
Oops. Sorry; watching Mucha Lucha makes me think of the evil masked toilet. And since the evil masked toilet is on the TV right now, I think of the evil masked toilet.
"Anyway," Lulu said, oddly disturbed, "let's just go to the kitchen."
As the strange group traveled down through the airship, they ran into several Al Bhed Yevonites. Jecht knocked a few of them out and spat on their unconscious faces.
"The hell is wrong with them? Is it dress-up-like-the-freak day?" Jecht asked.
"Didn't we tell you about the whole Cursed Wakka Doll?" Lulu replied.
"Cursed what?"
Auron launched into a detailed explanation of the past few . . . hours. Yes it's true! While this story has taken me months, only a few hours have passed in their world! Which is good, because if their time went at the same pace as our world then . . .
"HEY GET ON WITH THE STORY!"
Once again, I'm sorry.
Jecht stared at his old friend with skepticism. "You honestly expect me to believe that this moron," here he gestured to Stupid Wakka, "created a doll that would convert everyone in Spira into zombie Yevonite versions of him? This I gotta see."
As they walked down the hall, Jecht finally noticed that they were on something that depended on machina. "What's with the machina?"
Tidus looked at him scornfully, causing everyone to think that instead of hating his father now, he was jealous. "Don't you know anything? The whole reason people never used machina was because of Yevon's teachings and when the maesters were exposed to using machina and everyone found out that it was actually YEVON who was Sin, they kinda ignored the fact that the Al Bhed excavated an airship. Which they couldn't have done without me." Taking some pride in that last statement, Tidus looked up with a smug expression.
Jecht only knocked his son upside the head and snorted. "Please."
Tidus instantly deflated and was comforted by Yuna. Lulu and Auron hid their snickers and Stupid Wakka only looked confused. Jecht smirked and strutted in front of them all. But he wasn't watching where he was going and knocked straight into another Al Bhed Yevonite. Tidus laughed loudly. Growling, he attempted to knock out the Al Bhed. The Al Bhed, who just so happened to be Blappa, dodged with skill that he remembered from his blitzball career and screamed very loudly, "SINNING! SINNER!"
Lulu, whose hair made it so that she got very big headaches in a short time, scowled and unleashed some magic on Blappa. Blizzaga, to be exact. The poor convert froze in midair, then clattered to the ground.
"Stupid Al Bhed zombie Yevonite Wakka."
"Are we ever going to get to the kitchen?" Stupid Wakka wailed.
Yuna hit him on the head with her Nirvana. "Quiet. You're the one who caused all this trouble in the first place."
"But it was the OTHER me that did that!"
"And it's YOUR fault for not settling your feelings about the whole Yevonite thing."
Wakka only pouted and followed the others into the kitchen, where they met . . .
Rikku and the Cursed Wakka Doll.
"WHAT THE FREAKING HELL?!" Tidus shouted.
Rikku looked up from her plate of sushi. "Me 'n the CWD are chowin' down on this sushi I made. Want shum?" she said, spraying raw fish from her mouth. The others looked at her with disgust and a little green in the face from the raw fish.
"Rikku," Yuna said patiently, "you do realize that you are eating sushi with a doll that you hate?"
"How the hell can a doll eat?" Jecht said.
"It's not gonna make me a Yevonite, ya?"
Lulu threw her Onion Knight at Wakka's head. "You are so damn stupid. And people wonder why I didn't choose you over Chappu."
"Ish 'cause Chappu's a sinner," the CWD said, struggling with his chopsticks.
Auron looked at Rikku. "When did you learn to make sushi?"
"I don't know how to make sushi. That's why CWD taught me."
"This doesn't make any sense!" moaned Tidus.
"I don't think it's supposed to make sense, ya?"
Everyone shot death glares at Wakka, who only countered the glares with, "I'm still hungry, ya."
Normally, Yuna is a very calm person. She often hides her emotions so she does not cause unrest among those she loves. But when one bottles up all of one's emotions, one tends to explode at another's ignorance. Poor Wakka.
"THAT IS IT!" Yuna shrieked, causing everyone to cover their ears. "I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!! YOU! YOU STUPID, STUPID MAN!" And with that, she attacked Wakka, Nirvana coming down upon his head like a ton of bricks. "DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!"
Tidus and the others, except Rikku and the CWD, grabbed Yuna and tried to pry her off of Wakka. It was rather amazing watching three strong men and an incredibly powerful sorceress try to pry this weak looking girl off of another strong looking man. Yuna bit, kicked, scratched, screamed, and thwacked with her Nirvana. No one would stop her hurting Wakka. Wakka was now howling in pain, covering his head with his arms.
"THAT'S IT! SLEEP!" shouted Lulu, casting Sleep on Yuna, who promptly fell to the ground, snoring.
"HA! She DOES snore!" Tidus cried triumphantly.
"That HURT, ya!" whimpered Wakka, rubbing his arms ruefully.
Rikku was stuffing as much sushi as she could in her mouth while the CWD counted how many were in her mouth.
"Five, six, seven, eight, nine . . . Come on, you can do it, ya!" it cried, pumping its little arms in the air while Rikku's tongue tried to adjust the sushi in her mouth. Rikku shook her head, her eyes widening. She grabbed the wastebasket and spit out all the sushi. She gasped, grabbed a glass of water and chugged it down like there was no tomorrow.
"Wow, nine pieces of sushi, that's gotta be a world record!"
The CWD shook his head. "Nope, the record is set by Picolet Chardin IV, or something like that, with the fitting of 5,500 pieces of sushi in his mouth, ya."
Rikku's mouth dropped. "How the heck can anyone have THAT MUCH sushi in their mouth? What is he, some sort of freak?"
"Pretty much, ya."
"I've never heard of this Picolet."
"Who's Picolet, ya?"
Auron and Jecht grabbed Rikku and CWD. "That's enough of that," Auron said in a no-nonsense tone.
"Damn straight."
****WITH OUR BELOVED RIN****
Rin panted. What was wrong with the bloody airship?! It would not let him get to the platform thingy so he could get to Wakka and pour the red potion in the crystalline bottle with the golden winged cap on it on to his head. He opened the next door, only to see Kimahri play poker with Al Bhed converts.
"What are you doing?" Rin asked.
"Kimahri play poker. Kimahri win much gil."
"You're playing with zombie Al Bhed Yevonites!"
The converts froze, then threw their cards in the air screaming, "AL BHED! SINNERS!" They then jumped on their chairs, hollering.
Kimahri shot Rin a death glare, then roared. The converts immediately picked up their cards and sat in their seats quietly. Kimahri said, "Wait. Must talk to Rin." Kimahri got up, grabbed Rin's arm, and then took him outside.
"What you try to do to Kimahri?!" he shouted.
"What do you mean?" Rin said.
"Stupid converts throw cards in air, mix up hands and now they might have better hands than Kimahri! Kimahri no like that! Kimahri have 100 gil riding on poker game!"
"I-I-I-I'm sorry, Kimahri," Rin stammered, "I didn't mean to cause any harm. It's just that . . . What the hell are you doing? Why are you playing with Al Bhed Yevonites?"
"Because Kimahri make lots of gil."
Rin stared in amazement at Kimahri. Then he nodded. He understood the need for money. After all, he ran a business, didn't he? And how many customers had he cheated? Several! With his high prices and other stores eliminated, they had had to pay!
"Nice job Kimahri."
"Kimahri know."
"Well I have to go to the top of the airship, can you help me get there?"
"Why Rin have to go to top of airship?"
"So I can destroy the Evil Wakka."
"Wakka not on top of airship anymore."
Rin looked surprised. "What?"
Kimahri nodded. "Tidus, Yuna, Lulu, Auron, Stupid Wakka, and Jecht all come by door, talking about Cursed Wakka Doll and hunger."
"Oh I- wait a minute, did you say Jecht? As in SIR JECHT?"
Kimahri nodded. "Kimahri must go back to game now." And with that he turned around and entered the room to play some poker. Rin shook his head. This was getting too weird. But how did Sir Jecht come to this world? One could only wonder. But Kimahri did say they were talking about hunger and the only place that a hungry person would go would be . . .
The kitchen.
Rin sprinted towards the kitchen and prayed to some sort of deity.
******TO BE CONTINUED******
A/N: Translation- Hello! How are you? Well? How are you? Good, I hope. Ah well, let's get this thing over with! Oh by the way, Picolet belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. I'm hoping the next chapter will be the last . . . And hopefully you won't have long to wait!