Starting Over Again
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of its characters. Some other peoples do.
Authors Notes: Well I just went on vacation with my family for a week but I'm back and I got a new
chapter. Anyways I think its longer than usual and I made some progress. Thanks for the reviews last
chapter, you guys make me happy!
Chapter Ten
Heero set down the last bag of groceries on the table with a sigh. It had been a logical
thought for him to get the food since he was the one cooking lately. At least now he could get foods
that served some nutritional value. Quickly Heero began putting up any frozen foods first including
the Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream that he had gotten especially for Duo. 'It won't last
long with that boy, though,' thought Heero to himself as he began putting up the canned foods witha
slight smile on his face. That boy was starting to grow on him.
Heero was nearly finished when Duo walked in fully dressed and groomed in a pair of blue
jeans and a black shirt. "Morning Heero!"
Heero shook his head slightly, "Afternoon."
"Whaddya mean?" Asked Duo looking at the clock curiously and noting it was 12:15.
"Oops! Knew I shouldn't of stayed up that late last night." Duo finished talking and started putting
up the extra food. There was silence of a few minutes omitting the occasional mumble or comment
about choice of food from Duo.
Heero finished first and sat down by the table to wait for Duo to finish up the last of the
breads and a few junk food items that Heero had also bought for Duo.
"Man, Heero you bought a lot of food. What'd ya use to pay for it all?" Duo asked
plopping down across from him.
"Extra money I have saved up. I'd rather buy for the whole month than go every week just
to buy groceries." Heero answered.
"Still though you shouldn't go off spending all your money just on food for us." Duo
responded.
"Wufei got back to me, we're starting Monday so it's not a big deal, we'll have a steady
paycheck."
"So I got a job too?" Duo asked expectantly.
Heero nodded, "Yeah and they wanted to know if you'd rather have field work or a desk
job? If you choose desk you will still have the occasional mission because of your previous work as
a gundam pilot but not near as many as if you choose desk."
"I don't know what I want to pick." Duo sat silent while Heero watched him. Inside Heero
felt himself hoping Duo would pick a desk job like he, himself had done. "What'd you pick 'Eero?"
Duo asked in an attempt to make up his mind.
"Hm?" Heero blinked once, "Oh. Desk."
"I might as well go with that too then, K?" Duo decided, jumping up to make a sandwich
and leaving Heero to his thoughts.
Silently, Heero looked up and watched the other teen move about the kitchen. He had
wanted... to know where Duo was. To know he was OK. He didn't want it to be like the war.
Really he knew it would be much safer now and that Duo could take care of himself but... still,
memories have a way of creeping up on you. He remembered when Duo could be gone for weeks or
months and he would know nothing. In the end, Heero didn't want to worry about the other pilot.
He knew he would, too, if Duo had chosen to be one of the few in the field. It was one of his
weaknesses, to worry about Duo. One he would never show, but was nevertheless there. But... why
would he worry? During the war he had because he was a friend, a crush, even his lover at the time.
So what did that mean now? Sure Duo was a friend, you don't very well live with someone you
don't see as a friend. But was there more to those feelings...?
At that thought, Duo sat down across from him again, swallowing a large bite of his
sandwich and breaking Heero's line of thought.
"So, I was thinking, if we start work Monday we only have three days of freedom left, right?
Well, counting today into it we have four." Duo looked up.
Heero nodded again, "Like what?"
"There's some new movies on up at the theater, wanna see one?" Duo asked.
"Sure, I guess that'll be fine." Heero replied.
"K. Great, I'll be right back," commented Duo, running off towards his room.
As Heero watched him walk away, waist-length braid swinging behind him, he knew the
answer to his previous question.
Yes.
Cautiously Heero sighed to himself. What to do? 'Sit and wait I guess. There's not much I
can do. Unless I want to leave again... No, I can't do that it would tear Duo up. What's the harm
anyways? Why do I have to do anything? I've felt this before and it's not new there is nothing to be
afraid of.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next three days flew by quickly for both boys and in no time flat they were waking up
early for work. Heero found another reason to be happy the braided boy was around him. When
Duo was around he didn't have to talk or socialize much with co-workers because Duo took care of
it. The first day many people were surprised to see the boys back, escpecially Heero. But when they
would ask questions or give a greeting Duo would just pipe in with, 'Yup! Me and Heero are back
and ready to get the bad guys!' Or something similar to it. It almost seemed as if Duo was trying to
help Heero out ... and Heero liked it.
Knowing the pilots reputations, and the killers they once were, everyone on the job was
surprised when the two boys sat down ant their separate desks and started working. Of course, this
brought even more questions which Duo was happy to answer, and made Heero even happier to
have Duo around.
After that though the day went smoothly and quickly for the teens. Soon enough the boys
were in Heero's black car, radio on, driving home and in twenty minutes later they arrived.
"Well Heero, how'd ya like work?" Duo asked plopping down on the couch.
Heero shrugged slightly showing his indifference while sitting down. "You?"
"An. It was pretty good. I have a feeling it might get boring if I don't liven it up a bit
though. But I guess desk jobs are like that, right?" Duo asked, another, more mischevious smile
covering his face.
Heero shrugged again, really he didn't have much job experience except for his war work,
and the odd jobs he did for J, and neither one of those seemed boring to him.
"Hey 'Eero, I was wondering, why did you decide to get a desk job?" Duo asked, laying
back on the couch, ankles crossed, hands behind his head.
Heero let out a sigh. He knew this question would come eventually, from somebody. Ah,
well at least it was Duo, he seemed to understand him. "As you know I was trained only for war.
I've seen blood and cold blooded murders from a very young age. I've been holding or controlling
weapons for most of my life. I don't want to go back to anything remotely close to that. I... don't
want it to become an addiction again. And I just..." There was a silence. Heero had said a lot and it
didn't seem like him, he knew that. He had changed now that he had been away from battle all the
time. He finished his earlier statement as best he could, "The girl." Why cry... Cry for the already
dead who see no more pain. Heero squeezed his eyes shut and grit his teeth determined not to.
Duo didn't ask any questions. He understood and Heero had told him of the girl. Heero
looked so vulnerable on that chair trying to hold in pain he felt. Suddenly he had the urge to hold
Heero and whisper to him that everything would be OK. To sit there with him in the overstuffed
chair and just run his fingers through the ex-soldier's hair and help him feel better.
He didn't.
He tried to banish the feeling, he knew where it was going and he didn't want it. The
thought or even doing that much brought memories. Memories he didn't want. He had to get away
from Heero it was impossible to push them away with him sitting there, looking like he was. He
really had to get away from the memories creeping up on him. Suddenly Duo jumped up, happiness
replaced by anger... or maybe sadness? Whatever it was the teen stomped out of the room and
slammed the door.
Heero opened his eyes at the sound. 'What happened?' He thought to himself. 'I made Duo
mad.... but how? What'd I do?' Heero asked himself silently. Deciding against trying to talk to the
boy, he was angry about something, he made a quick sandwich and trudged to his bedroom to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Duo slammed his door and quickly walked across the room and threw himself on the bed.
Immediatly he felt guilty. 'I should of at least told Heero I was going to bed, I just left him out
there. Now he probably doesn't know what to think. He opened up to me and then I just stomped
out of the room.'
Old feelings crept up on Duo. 'No. Don't worry about it remember how he hurt you? He
can take a little confusion, it will do him good.' Duo countered himself feeling a little angry.
Duo came back with another argument though. 'I don't know. He seems to be nicer then
before and we've live together for over a month and haven't fought once.'
'Forget it,' the pain seemed to have a voice and arguments of its own, 'he hasn't changed a
bit, just leave it alone.'
'I guess...' Duo finished off uncertainly and directed his thoughts to another topic.
'What was I thinking out there? Why did I feel so much for Heero? I am glad I didn't
follow through I know where that was heading... I would have kissed him.'
Duo stopped in his thoughts, he remembered how it used to feel to kiss Heero. 'No, No,
No! I shouldn't like him. I don't want to like him. I won't like him. He will not tear my feelings
again.'
Everything was silent in Duo's room and he flipped over on his back and stared at the dark
blue ceiling. While trying to change his thoughts the guilt came back.
'Still... I should tell him sorry or at least why I left so suddenly. It's not his fault and I do
want to try and be friends. I don't want to scare him into thinking he can't talk to me.' With that
Duo trudged across his room and into the living room but Heero was already gone.
He walked across the dark room and climbed into the chair Heero had been sitting in. He
sunk into it while Heero's smell seeped out. He hugged a nearby pillow to his chest while bringing
his knees up under his chin. 'Who cares if he already went to bed, I'll tell him in the morning. Who
cares if he didn't come to ask me what was wrong? I don't care if Heero doesn't even like me
enough to find out what's wrong.' Duo sat back closing his eyes and willing himself further into the
chair. It was getting dark and Duo was very tired. He pulled his knees in closer smuching the
pillow into his chest more and smelling even more of Heero.
'If I don't care.... then why.... why do I feel so lonely?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning Heero woke up and was getting ready to take a shower when he spotted
Duo asleep on the beige chair that sat in the living room. On instinct he walked over to wake the
boy up but stopped himself upon rememberance of the previous nights events. Somehow, he had
made the boy upset. Maybe because he had brought up the war? The thought of all the bloodspill
had upset the teen? Heero shook his head in confusion. Who knew? All Heero knew is that he felt
bad for upsetting the boy. Gently Heero pushed the bangs out of the boys face and took one more
glance at the sleeping male now sprawled across the chair in an odd position, braid hanging off the
side, hand near the floor still clinging to a pillow that was barely touching the dark blue carpet.
Heero smiled to himself and continued to the bathroom to take his shower.
Duo woke soon after Heero left. Why hadn't Heero woken him up? Slowly it came back to
him how he had acted the night before. O well apologizing could be done later. Duo quickly got up
and got dressed. He decided he would take a shower that afternoon. Duo waited till he heard Heero
close his door, indicating he was in this room, probably changing, then left the apartment. He drove
his own car to work. Really he didn't feel like talking about feelings he couldn't even explain
himself.
Author's Notes: I am soooo sorry for the long wait! Please forgive me. Plus I have a
question. First of all, I know my chapters are short but I was just wondering if you guys could tell
me about how many pages you make your chapters so I can get a feel for things please?
And guys I am really sorry about the formatting my old computer is down and this one only
has wordperfect which doesn't have html format which is what I like to use so I have been using txt.
If anyone knows anything that works better, tell me k?
And for my reviewer chain: thanks for the suggestions I was thinking somewhere along those
lines too, but im still not sure, whatever happens im gonna try to get it in next chapter which I hope
to get out soon.
Everyone else tell me what I need to improve on, k? Please? I need help with this.
Thankies to all my wonderful reviewers and please review again and tell me how this
chapter went. Thanks!
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of its characters. Some other peoples do.
Authors Notes: Well I just went on vacation with my family for a week but I'm back and I got a new
chapter. Anyways I think its longer than usual and I made some progress. Thanks for the reviews last
chapter, you guys make me happy!
Chapter Ten
Heero set down the last bag of groceries on the table with a sigh. It had been a logical
thought for him to get the food since he was the one cooking lately. At least now he could get foods
that served some nutritional value. Quickly Heero began putting up any frozen foods first including
the Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream that he had gotten especially for Duo. 'It won't last
long with that boy, though,' thought Heero to himself as he began putting up the canned foods witha
slight smile on his face. That boy was starting to grow on him.
Heero was nearly finished when Duo walked in fully dressed and groomed in a pair of blue
jeans and a black shirt. "Morning Heero!"
Heero shook his head slightly, "Afternoon."
"Whaddya mean?" Asked Duo looking at the clock curiously and noting it was 12:15.
"Oops! Knew I shouldn't of stayed up that late last night." Duo finished talking and started putting
up the extra food. There was silence of a few minutes omitting the occasional mumble or comment
about choice of food from Duo.
Heero finished first and sat down by the table to wait for Duo to finish up the last of the
breads and a few junk food items that Heero had also bought for Duo.
"Man, Heero you bought a lot of food. What'd ya use to pay for it all?" Duo asked
plopping down across from him.
"Extra money I have saved up. I'd rather buy for the whole month than go every week just
to buy groceries." Heero answered.
"Still though you shouldn't go off spending all your money just on food for us." Duo
responded.
"Wufei got back to me, we're starting Monday so it's not a big deal, we'll have a steady
paycheck."
"So I got a job too?" Duo asked expectantly.
Heero nodded, "Yeah and they wanted to know if you'd rather have field work or a desk
job? If you choose desk you will still have the occasional mission because of your previous work as
a gundam pilot but not near as many as if you choose desk."
"I don't know what I want to pick." Duo sat silent while Heero watched him. Inside Heero
felt himself hoping Duo would pick a desk job like he, himself had done. "What'd you pick 'Eero?"
Duo asked in an attempt to make up his mind.
"Hm?" Heero blinked once, "Oh. Desk."
"I might as well go with that too then, K?" Duo decided, jumping up to make a sandwich
and leaving Heero to his thoughts.
Silently, Heero looked up and watched the other teen move about the kitchen. He had
wanted... to know where Duo was. To know he was OK. He didn't want it to be like the war.
Really he knew it would be much safer now and that Duo could take care of himself but... still,
memories have a way of creeping up on you. He remembered when Duo could be gone for weeks or
months and he would know nothing. In the end, Heero didn't want to worry about the other pilot.
He knew he would, too, if Duo had chosen to be one of the few in the field. It was one of his
weaknesses, to worry about Duo. One he would never show, but was nevertheless there. But... why
would he worry? During the war he had because he was a friend, a crush, even his lover at the time.
So what did that mean now? Sure Duo was a friend, you don't very well live with someone you
don't see as a friend. But was there more to those feelings...?
At that thought, Duo sat down across from him again, swallowing a large bite of his
sandwich and breaking Heero's line of thought.
"So, I was thinking, if we start work Monday we only have three days of freedom left, right?
Well, counting today into it we have four." Duo looked up.
Heero nodded again, "Like what?"
"There's some new movies on up at the theater, wanna see one?" Duo asked.
"Sure, I guess that'll be fine." Heero replied.
"K. Great, I'll be right back," commented Duo, running off towards his room.
As Heero watched him walk away, waist-length braid swinging behind him, he knew the
answer to his previous question.
Yes.
Cautiously Heero sighed to himself. What to do? 'Sit and wait I guess. There's not much I
can do. Unless I want to leave again... No, I can't do that it would tear Duo up. What's the harm
anyways? Why do I have to do anything? I've felt this before and it's not new there is nothing to be
afraid of.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next three days flew by quickly for both boys and in no time flat they were waking up
early for work. Heero found another reason to be happy the braided boy was around him. When
Duo was around he didn't have to talk or socialize much with co-workers because Duo took care of
it. The first day many people were surprised to see the boys back, escpecially Heero. But when they
would ask questions or give a greeting Duo would just pipe in with, 'Yup! Me and Heero are back
and ready to get the bad guys!' Or something similar to it. It almost seemed as if Duo was trying to
help Heero out ... and Heero liked it.
Knowing the pilots reputations, and the killers they once were, everyone on the job was
surprised when the two boys sat down ant their separate desks and started working. Of course, this
brought even more questions which Duo was happy to answer, and made Heero even happier to
have Duo around.
After that though the day went smoothly and quickly for the teens. Soon enough the boys
were in Heero's black car, radio on, driving home and in twenty minutes later they arrived.
"Well Heero, how'd ya like work?" Duo asked plopping down on the couch.
Heero shrugged slightly showing his indifference while sitting down. "You?"
"An. It was pretty good. I have a feeling it might get boring if I don't liven it up a bit
though. But I guess desk jobs are like that, right?" Duo asked, another, more mischevious smile
covering his face.
Heero shrugged again, really he didn't have much job experience except for his war work,
and the odd jobs he did for J, and neither one of those seemed boring to him.
"Hey 'Eero, I was wondering, why did you decide to get a desk job?" Duo asked, laying
back on the couch, ankles crossed, hands behind his head.
Heero let out a sigh. He knew this question would come eventually, from somebody. Ah,
well at least it was Duo, he seemed to understand him. "As you know I was trained only for war.
I've seen blood and cold blooded murders from a very young age. I've been holding or controlling
weapons for most of my life. I don't want to go back to anything remotely close to that. I... don't
want it to become an addiction again. And I just..." There was a silence. Heero had said a lot and it
didn't seem like him, he knew that. He had changed now that he had been away from battle all the
time. He finished his earlier statement as best he could, "The girl." Why cry... Cry for the already
dead who see no more pain. Heero squeezed his eyes shut and grit his teeth determined not to.
Duo didn't ask any questions. He understood and Heero had told him of the girl. Heero
looked so vulnerable on that chair trying to hold in pain he felt. Suddenly he had the urge to hold
Heero and whisper to him that everything would be OK. To sit there with him in the overstuffed
chair and just run his fingers through the ex-soldier's hair and help him feel better.
He didn't.
He tried to banish the feeling, he knew where it was going and he didn't want it. The
thought or even doing that much brought memories. Memories he didn't want. He had to get away
from Heero it was impossible to push them away with him sitting there, looking like he was. He
really had to get away from the memories creeping up on him. Suddenly Duo jumped up, happiness
replaced by anger... or maybe sadness? Whatever it was the teen stomped out of the room and
slammed the door.
Heero opened his eyes at the sound. 'What happened?' He thought to himself. 'I made Duo
mad.... but how? What'd I do?' Heero asked himself silently. Deciding against trying to talk to the
boy, he was angry about something, he made a quick sandwich and trudged to his bedroom to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Duo slammed his door and quickly walked across the room and threw himself on the bed.
Immediatly he felt guilty. 'I should of at least told Heero I was going to bed, I just left him out
there. Now he probably doesn't know what to think. He opened up to me and then I just stomped
out of the room.'
Old feelings crept up on Duo. 'No. Don't worry about it remember how he hurt you? He
can take a little confusion, it will do him good.' Duo countered himself feeling a little angry.
Duo came back with another argument though. 'I don't know. He seems to be nicer then
before and we've live together for over a month and haven't fought once.'
'Forget it,' the pain seemed to have a voice and arguments of its own, 'he hasn't changed a
bit, just leave it alone.'
'I guess...' Duo finished off uncertainly and directed his thoughts to another topic.
'What was I thinking out there? Why did I feel so much for Heero? I am glad I didn't
follow through I know where that was heading... I would have kissed him.'
Duo stopped in his thoughts, he remembered how it used to feel to kiss Heero. 'No, No,
No! I shouldn't like him. I don't want to like him. I won't like him. He will not tear my feelings
again.'
Everything was silent in Duo's room and he flipped over on his back and stared at the dark
blue ceiling. While trying to change his thoughts the guilt came back.
'Still... I should tell him sorry or at least why I left so suddenly. It's not his fault and I do
want to try and be friends. I don't want to scare him into thinking he can't talk to me.' With that
Duo trudged across his room and into the living room but Heero was already gone.
He walked across the dark room and climbed into the chair Heero had been sitting in. He
sunk into it while Heero's smell seeped out. He hugged a nearby pillow to his chest while bringing
his knees up under his chin. 'Who cares if he already went to bed, I'll tell him in the morning. Who
cares if he didn't come to ask me what was wrong? I don't care if Heero doesn't even like me
enough to find out what's wrong.' Duo sat back closing his eyes and willing himself further into the
chair. It was getting dark and Duo was very tired. He pulled his knees in closer smuching the
pillow into his chest more and smelling even more of Heero.
'If I don't care.... then why.... why do I feel so lonely?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning Heero woke up and was getting ready to take a shower when he spotted
Duo asleep on the beige chair that sat in the living room. On instinct he walked over to wake the
boy up but stopped himself upon rememberance of the previous nights events. Somehow, he had
made the boy upset. Maybe because he had brought up the war? The thought of all the bloodspill
had upset the teen? Heero shook his head in confusion. Who knew? All Heero knew is that he felt
bad for upsetting the boy. Gently Heero pushed the bangs out of the boys face and took one more
glance at the sleeping male now sprawled across the chair in an odd position, braid hanging off the
side, hand near the floor still clinging to a pillow that was barely touching the dark blue carpet.
Heero smiled to himself and continued to the bathroom to take his shower.
Duo woke soon after Heero left. Why hadn't Heero woken him up? Slowly it came back to
him how he had acted the night before. O well apologizing could be done later. Duo quickly got up
and got dressed. He decided he would take a shower that afternoon. Duo waited till he heard Heero
close his door, indicating he was in this room, probably changing, then left the apartment. He drove
his own car to work. Really he didn't feel like talking about feelings he couldn't even explain
himself.
Author's Notes: I am soooo sorry for the long wait! Please forgive me. Plus I have a
question. First of all, I know my chapters are short but I was just wondering if you guys could tell
me about how many pages you make your chapters so I can get a feel for things please?
And guys I am really sorry about the formatting my old computer is down and this one only
has wordperfect which doesn't have html format which is what I like to use so I have been using txt.
If anyone knows anything that works better, tell me k?
And for my reviewer chain: thanks for the suggestions I was thinking somewhere along those
lines too, but im still not sure, whatever happens im gonna try to get it in next chapter which I hope
to get out soon.
Everyone else tell me what I need to improve on, k? Please? I need help with this.
Thankies to all my wonderful reviewers and please review again and tell me how this
chapter went. Thanks!