The Fellowship Discovers Fanfiction~ Chapter The Last~ By Cherry & Kiwi
A/N: As you can see, this is our last chapter for this fic. As all fun things must, this has come to an end *sniff, tear, SOB!* we love it too. Contrary to popular belief, we have scratched the idea of having an epilogue of the shrubbery's POV. This chapter is kinda long.so sit back and read!
Disclaimer: We don't own anything of Tolkien's. We own.stuff. Nothing that you'd be interested in.
A/N: Coming soon to our online Bananateia domain (see our profile)..who we want to be groupies for! Haha! Of course Orlando and Johnny are gonna be on there.
*~*where we left off last chapter.Saruman had struck again. The poor Fellowship had been gypped! Hungry, they had been denied food..AFTER THEY PAYED FOR IT! HOW UNCHRISTIAN! Oh wait, in this time, Christ hadn't been born yet.oh well, whatever, it was still bad manners! Madame le Etiquette would not have approved!
"What are we going to do?!?" cried Pippin. The Hobbits murmured in agreement.
"Shut up! I'm thinking!" Said Aragorn.
"Isn't there some yogurt in your pack, Aragorn?" said Gimli.
"It's gross. Even the Hobbits won't eat it!" he replied.
"Ew, even the memory of it makes me want to keel over!" said Merry, adding his opinion.
They realized that they were totally foodless. If they didn't get into Burger Man somehow, they would all die!! Legolas began to look around at the building suspiciously.
"I think we should to a perimeter check." He said.
"What's a parameter?" said Pippin.
"A parameter is a guideline, Pippin, a Perimeter is the outside of something. DUH!"
"You don't have to make fun of me just because I'm stupid!"
"Yes I do!"
So they walked slowly around the building when at last they found a small open window in the back. This would be tough. They would have to send Pippin in to get their food since he was the only one small enough to fit and they couldn't risk Frodo in a case like this. He was already weak as it is, he had that horrible ring and he was hungry! So they hoisted Pippin up and he climbed into the window.
*OOMPH* "Ow!" cried Pippin as he hit the floor on the other side.
"Shut up and find the backdoor and let us in!" Gimli shouted, because of course, you can't trust Pippin to get the food by himself!
So Pippin found the door and let the Fellowship inside. They traveled silently and carefully through the storage rooms. It was dark and Gandalf lit his staff. The place reeked of rotten green French Fries. They finally made it into the recesses of the kitchen. Sam peeked out of the door which he had opened up just a crack.
"All's clear, Mr. Frodo!" he said as he closed the door silently and backed up.
Boromir came forward to go first. He opened the door and immediately went into fighting stance. Nothing happened. The others filed in one by one, Pippin coming in last. As he came through, he forgot to hold the door so that it didn't slam shut. *CLANG!*
"You idiot! Next time, let the door hit you!" Gandalf yelled. They listened carefully for a moment. They heard beeps in the deep. The fry machines..beep beep beep beepbeep.
"They are coming." Said Gandalf. Beep beep beep beep.
They heard the approach of many footsteps. They ran through an interminably long kitchen until they reached the main area of the kitchen. The fry beepers were getting louder.beep.beep.beep.the rest of the Fellowship circled around the little hobbits.
"Ewwwww!" Boromir squealed. "These warriors are gross!" and indeed they were. Remember that kid at the Quik-thru that had severe acne problems? Well, think of him times one hundred with grease too! Sam quickly worked his way through the fellowship and bonked one in the head with his frying pan. *BONK* The boy fell to the ground but Sam's pan was covered with pimple juice! Sam wretched, dropped his pan, and went back inside the circle. He wasn't that brave. *Cherry and Kiwi are disgusted at the thought but Cherry said it and brought it upon herself. "Think of the cinnamon rolls we had for breakfast.think of the cinnamon rolls we had for breakfast." quoth she. "Yum!"*
Boromir waved the other ones on. "You go, I'll fight them off! Go quickly to the counter of Khâzad-Dum!" So the group hurried quickly on to the front counter.
Tragically, in our story, Boromir died fighting these horrible boys. The Fellowship made it to the counter and quickly made it to the door. The door was unlocked from the inside because otherwise it would have been a fire hazard. They quickly made it out.
"But wait, what about our food?!" cried Merry.
"Oh crap!" said Gandalf. "We just killed Boromir for nothing!" The fellowship grieved quietly for a moment, then got over it. You know, he was kinda greasy himself.
"Well, at least he can't rape Mr. Frodo anymore!" said Sam. They had all been disturbed by Boromir's nightly escapades.
"It wasn't rape! We were in love!" cried Frodo, as he sobbed his little heart out. "Oh my God did I just say that out loud?!"
"Oh MY GOD!" screamed Sam. "I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME! You traitorous whore!"
"I do love you Sam, but Boromir was just so, strong! He, um, er, well, uh, PLAYED SCRABBLE so well! I'm sorry! I never meant to betray you in my heart!"
After this, um, scary little scene, they all made up and decided to continue to a nice little clearing where they could get their thoughts together in safety.
"Legolas, get them up, we have to reach the woods of Lothlorien by nightfall! These hills will be swarming with greasy acne plagued teenagers!" Aragorn shouted.
Legolas led the group out and they made it to safety where the sat down and thought about what they were going to do, foodless and not being able to get back.
"It's no use, Aragorn!" Legolas said. "It's a whole day's travel to Lothlorien! We are going to have to eat the shrubbery!" *DUN!*
"Oh no! Not the Shrubbery!" sobbed Aragorn. It was too late. Everyone agreed with Legolas that this was their only option. They would starve without the shrubbery.
"You guys, wait, I have a confession. There is no shrubbery in the pack. I lied the whole time! Please forgive me!! Please have mercy on my poor soul!"
"You WHAT?!?!?" They cried aghast! "If there is no shrubbery," Legolas said, "then what, per se, is in the pack?" "It's.it's.just open it!"
So they all rushed for his pack and Legolas grabbed the zipper. He unzipped it slowly.zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzziiiiiiippppppp. He turned the pack upside down and out fell.a shrubbery! *DUN!* and some papers.
"Oh My God! Aragorn is deranged! There was a shrubbery! He's famished, over heated, over worked, and.oh gosh he's losing his memory! We need to get him to Lothlorien quickly!
"I'm not deranged! That stinking Shrubbery was not in there yesterday!"
"Ahhh! Someone, pick him up and carry him!"
Everyone looked at Legolas.
"Oh all right, I'll carry him!" He is after all, the strongest one left, so he picked him up.
"Put me down! Put me down!" screamed Aragorn, thrashing and flailing trying to get out of Legolas' arms. *A/N: Why?! Why would you want to leave Legolas' arms?! We don't understand!!!*
Legolas managed to sedate him with elven magic *A/N: ahhhhh!! Ooooo..Never mind.* They quickly lost interest in the shrubbery for the moment, stuffed it in Aragorn's sack-o-stuff and continued walking toward Lothlorien.
They finally made it to the golden wood in the evening and Legolas had to barter his body away to Haldir for the night to gain passage for his group into the woods. Legolas decided he could deal with it. After all, this was Aragorn.his LIFE was at stake! So they walked through led by Haldir and they got rooms to stay in. They met the lady of the wood who totally sympathized with their plight. She had a proprietal interest in seeing Aragorn alive, after all, he was supposed to marry her Granddaughter.
While the rest of the Fellowship was caring for a "delirious" Aragorn, the shrubbery, which had magically unzipped itself out of the bag, explained the story to the lady of the wood. The group looked up and gasped. They had no idea this was a magical shrubbery! Aragorn screamed and passed out. Legolas shook his head.
"Do not be afraid. This is one of my trademarked magical shrubberies. I sent travelers out to plant all around Middle Earth. They are my spies. A seed must have gotten into Aragorn's pack with some dirt. This shrubbery has protected you from much harm." Said the lady of the wood. She explained that Aragorn was not delirious and just frightened at the shrubbery's power.
Aragorn sat up and screamed. "The papers!! Where are the papers?!?!"
"Uh, Aragorn, what papers?!?!"
"THE papers!! They were in my pack!"
"Oh, those papers, we figured they were old junk mail and stuff. We left them there!" said Pippin.
"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Aragorn fainted. The lady of the wood sighed. She asked a servant to carry him to his room and give him some soup when he woke up. This magical soup from her special recipe (it was a couple thousand years old!) would make him better in no time.
It was getting late and they had supper. Legolas saw Haldir motion that it was time for them to leave for the night. Legolas sighed with despair. *Cherry: Hey, but Haldir's sexy!* Haldir took Legolas to his room and they, um, well, played scrabble, and they weren't seen till morning. The rest of the Fellowship slept quite well and the soup as predicted made Aragorn quite himself again. As a gift, the lady gave Sam a new frying pan since his was lost at Burger Man and she gave the gift of the magical Shrubbery to guide the group on their quest. She explained its powers. It could tell them when danger was near, store appointments, it was an alarm clock, a timer, and a personal organizer. It also answered yes and no questions just like Kiwi's Magic 8 Ball style Taco Bell Chihuahua! Well, you all know the rest. This is where we leave off. Pippin got half a brain and the rest of the Fellowship continued as is known. ---cheesy ending---
*~*Thank you all so much for sticking around for the last chapter of this story. Please review! And please read our other stories. We will have updates by the end of the week as it is exam time. Signing out, Cherry and Kiwi.*~*
A/N: As you can see, this is our last chapter for this fic. As all fun things must, this has come to an end *sniff, tear, SOB!* we love it too. Contrary to popular belief, we have scratched the idea of having an epilogue of the shrubbery's POV. This chapter is kinda long.so sit back and read!
Disclaimer: We don't own anything of Tolkien's. We own.stuff. Nothing that you'd be interested in.
A/N: Coming soon to our online Bananateia domain (see our profile)..who we want to be groupies for! Haha! Of course Orlando and Johnny are gonna be on there.
*~*where we left off last chapter.Saruman had struck again. The poor Fellowship had been gypped! Hungry, they had been denied food..AFTER THEY PAYED FOR IT! HOW UNCHRISTIAN! Oh wait, in this time, Christ hadn't been born yet.oh well, whatever, it was still bad manners! Madame le Etiquette would not have approved!
"What are we going to do?!?" cried Pippin. The Hobbits murmured in agreement.
"Shut up! I'm thinking!" Said Aragorn.
"Isn't there some yogurt in your pack, Aragorn?" said Gimli.
"It's gross. Even the Hobbits won't eat it!" he replied.
"Ew, even the memory of it makes me want to keel over!" said Merry, adding his opinion.
They realized that they were totally foodless. If they didn't get into Burger Man somehow, they would all die!! Legolas began to look around at the building suspiciously.
"I think we should to a perimeter check." He said.
"What's a parameter?" said Pippin.
"A parameter is a guideline, Pippin, a Perimeter is the outside of something. DUH!"
"You don't have to make fun of me just because I'm stupid!"
"Yes I do!"
So they walked slowly around the building when at last they found a small open window in the back. This would be tough. They would have to send Pippin in to get their food since he was the only one small enough to fit and they couldn't risk Frodo in a case like this. He was already weak as it is, he had that horrible ring and he was hungry! So they hoisted Pippin up and he climbed into the window.
*OOMPH* "Ow!" cried Pippin as he hit the floor on the other side.
"Shut up and find the backdoor and let us in!" Gimli shouted, because of course, you can't trust Pippin to get the food by himself!
So Pippin found the door and let the Fellowship inside. They traveled silently and carefully through the storage rooms. It was dark and Gandalf lit his staff. The place reeked of rotten green French Fries. They finally made it into the recesses of the kitchen. Sam peeked out of the door which he had opened up just a crack.
"All's clear, Mr. Frodo!" he said as he closed the door silently and backed up.
Boromir came forward to go first. He opened the door and immediately went into fighting stance. Nothing happened. The others filed in one by one, Pippin coming in last. As he came through, he forgot to hold the door so that it didn't slam shut. *CLANG!*
"You idiot! Next time, let the door hit you!" Gandalf yelled. They listened carefully for a moment. They heard beeps in the deep. The fry machines..beep beep beep beepbeep.
"They are coming." Said Gandalf. Beep beep beep beep.
They heard the approach of many footsteps. They ran through an interminably long kitchen until they reached the main area of the kitchen. The fry beepers were getting louder.beep.beep.beep.the rest of the Fellowship circled around the little hobbits.
"Ewwwww!" Boromir squealed. "These warriors are gross!" and indeed they were. Remember that kid at the Quik-thru that had severe acne problems? Well, think of him times one hundred with grease too! Sam quickly worked his way through the fellowship and bonked one in the head with his frying pan. *BONK* The boy fell to the ground but Sam's pan was covered with pimple juice! Sam wretched, dropped his pan, and went back inside the circle. He wasn't that brave. *Cherry and Kiwi are disgusted at the thought but Cherry said it and brought it upon herself. "Think of the cinnamon rolls we had for breakfast.think of the cinnamon rolls we had for breakfast." quoth she. "Yum!"*
Boromir waved the other ones on. "You go, I'll fight them off! Go quickly to the counter of Khâzad-Dum!" So the group hurried quickly on to the front counter.
Tragically, in our story, Boromir died fighting these horrible boys. The Fellowship made it to the counter and quickly made it to the door. The door was unlocked from the inside because otherwise it would have been a fire hazard. They quickly made it out.
"But wait, what about our food?!" cried Merry.
"Oh crap!" said Gandalf. "We just killed Boromir for nothing!" The fellowship grieved quietly for a moment, then got over it. You know, he was kinda greasy himself.
"Well, at least he can't rape Mr. Frodo anymore!" said Sam. They had all been disturbed by Boromir's nightly escapades.
"It wasn't rape! We were in love!" cried Frodo, as he sobbed his little heart out. "Oh my God did I just say that out loud?!"
"Oh MY GOD!" screamed Sam. "I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME! You traitorous whore!"
"I do love you Sam, but Boromir was just so, strong! He, um, er, well, uh, PLAYED SCRABBLE so well! I'm sorry! I never meant to betray you in my heart!"
After this, um, scary little scene, they all made up and decided to continue to a nice little clearing where they could get their thoughts together in safety.
"Legolas, get them up, we have to reach the woods of Lothlorien by nightfall! These hills will be swarming with greasy acne plagued teenagers!" Aragorn shouted.
Legolas led the group out and they made it to safety where the sat down and thought about what they were going to do, foodless and not being able to get back.
"It's no use, Aragorn!" Legolas said. "It's a whole day's travel to Lothlorien! We are going to have to eat the shrubbery!" *DUN!*
"Oh no! Not the Shrubbery!" sobbed Aragorn. It was too late. Everyone agreed with Legolas that this was their only option. They would starve without the shrubbery.
"You guys, wait, I have a confession. There is no shrubbery in the pack. I lied the whole time! Please forgive me!! Please have mercy on my poor soul!"
"You WHAT?!?!?" They cried aghast! "If there is no shrubbery," Legolas said, "then what, per se, is in the pack?" "It's.it's.just open it!"
So they all rushed for his pack and Legolas grabbed the zipper. He unzipped it slowly.zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzziiiiiiippppppp. He turned the pack upside down and out fell.a shrubbery! *DUN!* and some papers.
"Oh My God! Aragorn is deranged! There was a shrubbery! He's famished, over heated, over worked, and.oh gosh he's losing his memory! We need to get him to Lothlorien quickly!
"I'm not deranged! That stinking Shrubbery was not in there yesterday!"
"Ahhh! Someone, pick him up and carry him!"
Everyone looked at Legolas.
"Oh all right, I'll carry him!" He is after all, the strongest one left, so he picked him up.
"Put me down! Put me down!" screamed Aragorn, thrashing and flailing trying to get out of Legolas' arms. *A/N: Why?! Why would you want to leave Legolas' arms?! We don't understand!!!*
Legolas managed to sedate him with elven magic *A/N: ahhhhh!! Ooooo..Never mind.* They quickly lost interest in the shrubbery for the moment, stuffed it in Aragorn's sack-o-stuff and continued walking toward Lothlorien.
They finally made it to the golden wood in the evening and Legolas had to barter his body away to Haldir for the night to gain passage for his group into the woods. Legolas decided he could deal with it. After all, this was Aragorn.his LIFE was at stake! So they walked through led by Haldir and they got rooms to stay in. They met the lady of the wood who totally sympathized with their plight. She had a proprietal interest in seeing Aragorn alive, after all, he was supposed to marry her Granddaughter.
While the rest of the Fellowship was caring for a "delirious" Aragorn, the shrubbery, which had magically unzipped itself out of the bag, explained the story to the lady of the wood. The group looked up and gasped. They had no idea this was a magical shrubbery! Aragorn screamed and passed out. Legolas shook his head.
"Do not be afraid. This is one of my trademarked magical shrubberies. I sent travelers out to plant all around Middle Earth. They are my spies. A seed must have gotten into Aragorn's pack with some dirt. This shrubbery has protected you from much harm." Said the lady of the wood. She explained that Aragorn was not delirious and just frightened at the shrubbery's power.
Aragorn sat up and screamed. "The papers!! Where are the papers?!?!"
"Uh, Aragorn, what papers?!?!"
"THE papers!! They were in my pack!"
"Oh, those papers, we figured they were old junk mail and stuff. We left them there!" said Pippin.
"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Aragorn fainted. The lady of the wood sighed. She asked a servant to carry him to his room and give him some soup when he woke up. This magical soup from her special recipe (it was a couple thousand years old!) would make him better in no time.
It was getting late and they had supper. Legolas saw Haldir motion that it was time for them to leave for the night. Legolas sighed with despair. *Cherry: Hey, but Haldir's sexy!* Haldir took Legolas to his room and they, um, well, played scrabble, and they weren't seen till morning. The rest of the Fellowship slept quite well and the soup as predicted made Aragorn quite himself again. As a gift, the lady gave Sam a new frying pan since his was lost at Burger Man and she gave the gift of the magical Shrubbery to guide the group on their quest. She explained its powers. It could tell them when danger was near, store appointments, it was an alarm clock, a timer, and a personal organizer. It also answered yes and no questions just like Kiwi's Magic 8 Ball style Taco Bell Chihuahua! Well, you all know the rest. This is where we leave off. Pippin got half a brain and the rest of the Fellowship continued as is known. ---cheesy ending---
*~*Thank you all so much for sticking around for the last chapter of this story. Please review! And please read our other stories. We will have updates by the end of the week as it is exam time. Signing out, Cherry and Kiwi.*~*