A/N: This story used to have about 20 Chapters all on my PalmTop, but then sadly it broke and I lost all of it. Now I've decided to re-write it.

Disclaimer: All these people belong to Tolkien and his decedents. I got the inspiration for the Finger of Doom from the Tolkien Sarcasm site, the URL of which I have unfortunately lost. If anyone knows it, please tell me.

I am also told my sense of humor is an acquired taste so ... just read it and see what you think.

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Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,

Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,

Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,

One for... ME!

that's right! One all for me! Not for the stupid first finger, saying he's so important 'cause he does all the pointing at people. Not for the stupid middle finger saying he's so much prettier than me, 'cause he's taller. No! One All For Me! The Ring-Finger. Emphasis on RING! That'll show them! I'll show them all! Mwahahahahahahahaha!!