Fifteenth chapter: Back home


Less than a week had passed when the Hobbits heard a knock on the door. Frodo had finally recovered and felt more strength in him, which was the reason for some walks through the gardens whenever Liliane was asleep. She often was. She was not sick anymore, but she was weak after all her fear and also because of the baby.
The day before the midwife had come to see her and she had reacted in a very positive way when Liliane told her that nothing had happened anymore.
You will be fine, little lady. You and your baby. And if you would like to return home, you might do so in a week maybe. But dont use too much strength then. Remember that youre still weak and always rest if youre not fine.
Liliane was happy. Frodo noticed with relief that she cheered up a little, she smiled again and talked to him - and she let him come closer. At night she cuddled up to him, longing for his embrace and Frodo gave it gladly.
They even decided to leave the Houses of Healing and return to the citadel. Bergil would come and carry Liliane who must not yet walk, but they were still waiting when someone came to them.
Frodo said when Eowyn entered.
Yes, me. Whom were you waiting for?
For Bergil, but Im sure hell arrive soon. What can we do for you?
Eowyn stood before the bed and smiled at Liliane.
I can do something for you, Eowyn said. She had her hands on her back, but then she pulled them forth and unfolded a piece of fabric which turned out to be a dress.
No, that... that cant be! How... Liliane stammered and sat upright a little. She shook her head in disbelief.
It can be. Its yours. Eowyn smiled broadly. To see Liliane that happy made her happy, too.
The Hobbits looked at the dress. It was of a warm dark green, shining velvet and with countless golden figures woven in it. Its cut was slightly different from the dress that Arwen had given to Liliane, but she regarded it as even more beautiful.
How did you... Liliane asked. Eowyn handed the dress over to her and said: I took yours of which there wasnt much left. When Arwen saw it, she had the same idea: We intended to give you a new one. And here you are... thats the story!
She laughed. Liliane reached out her arms for her and Eowyn knelt down so that she could embrace her thankfully.
re wonderful! Liliane said. She couldnt yet believe that it was true, but it was.
But I have to ask something of you... Eowyn said. Liliane looked at her expectingly, then Eowyn said: Please dont wear it when your belly has grown round... it wouldnt fit!
Liliane burst out in laughter. No! How could I? But still theres enough time left, I think... or can anyone see something?
Frodo shook his head. m searching for it every day, but still it hides. Do you know how small Hobbit children are? he asked Eowyn and showed her. The lady couldnt believe it - she regarded mens children as small, but Hobbit children were much smaller!
You will be good parents. Children are wonderful!
Frodo nodded and told her some stories of little Elanor. When Liliane listened to his euphoric talk, she smiled secretly. Of course he would be a wonderful father!

They spent another week in Minas Tirith, together with their friends in the citadel. Special guards watched every entrance which lead to the Hobbits, but nothing happened. The only one who still believed in the Messengers and Melkor was Ortherion. Aragorn talked to him one afternoon and found out that, although the young man still believed in evil, this belief wasnt as strong as before.
He decided as he had once done and he knew it was the right thing to do.
You will go to Ithilien with Lord Faramir and the soldier Beregond will take special care for you with his son Bergil. You will work there and have enough time to consider everything. You still have your options! This is a free land and I will not imprison you now. Take it as a chance or I might change my decision! Aragorn said to him. Ortherion couldnt believe what he heard, but it was true. And deep inside he felt a little thankful which was a thought he disliked, but he was free again. Or at least not in prison.
Aragorn often found Frodo and Bergil together whenever Liliane was not alone. She spent much time Gimli, Legolas and Gandalf. Often Aragorn would join them and tell his own stories of the War of the Ring.
It was a happy time. Liliane felt safe with Frodos friends and was glad to know them now. She liked Gimli very much who had his very own way of showing his appreciation for something, but he was so good-hearted.
She met Legolas with admiration and knew that Gandalf liked her even if he didnt speak.
It was all different with Aragorn - she liked him the most, he was such a just king and good friend.
Faramir and Eowyn were ready to leave very soon which was the time for Bergil to say goodbye to his friends.
Will you once visit me again? I will show you the most wonderful places in Gondor! Bergil offered. Liliane smiled as he said so.
I know Gondor is wonderful. I like what I have seen. And Id like to see more, but not now. We will leave once I can ride again. And Im glad Ive met you.
She whispered a word of thanks into his ear as they embraced. Then Bergil embraced Frodo and smiled warmly.
re the bravest person Ive ever known, Frodo. Youre a hero although you dont want to be one.
Frodo shook his head. No. Im no hero, I never wanted to be one. I only did what I had to do. And without you Id be dead now. I couldnt see my child growing up, so the hero of us is you.
Bergil blushed and nearly felt ashamed. But this was what everybody thought. He had not acted like an ordinary fourteen-year-old boy would have done.
Bergil left for Ithilien with Faramir, Eowyn and his father. They took Ortherion with them, but the Hobbits didnt know. They didnt ask for him either.
At the end of the second week Frodo and Liliane went back to the Houses of Healing. Aragorn carried her one last time, but the midwife would tell them whether everything was good.
The healers looked at Frodo first. His wounds had healed and they began to remove the stitches. Aragorn held his breath when Frodo took off his shirt. His chest and belly were full of healing wounds. Once they had taken off all the bandages, it was obvious for everyone to see: it had been painful. Very painful.
They began with the cut on his cheek. It was a long and deep cut, but it had healed very well and nothing happened when they removed the stitches. They continued with all the others and Frodo endured it patiently. It didnt hurt, but it was nothing pleasant to be examined that carefully.
He was given some new bandages for his wrists in order to protect the healing wounds. He would be in grave danger if they tore open again.
s awful, said Aragorn quietly. Liliane nodded. She had seen the wounds before, but she could not get used to the sight at all.
Frodo was also shocked himself. It was the first time he looked at the wounds attentively. He gulped and looked at Aragorn in dismay. He had nearly forgotten.
You will not see the scars very well, one of the healers said. They will vanish. Dont worry.
When they were done, the midwife came and all left the room save Frodo. Liliane wanted him to stay.
I will have to examine you, the midwife said. Liliane bit her lip and closed her eyes, but she nodded. Frodo felt so helpless when she pressed his hand, clutching him tightly. Now he could see what she was afraid of.
Easy, just a minute and it will be over, Frodo said. Liliane forced herself to calm down, she knew it had to be, but she could hardly bear it. It was too early.
Frodo kept asking himself who she would be once they were at home again. Would she ever be the same again? He doubted it. If she only wouldnt be afraid of him anymore...
Everything is fine. You can return home if you want to, but you have to be very careful. Will you take care that she is not afraid of something? the midwife asked Frodo. He nodded.
This is the only thing you should care for. Fear will be bad, but this is it. You must not be afraid of anything else, little master.
But actually Frodo was. He would do nothing which could be bad for the child. Yet he said nothing.
On their way back Liliane walked again. It felt so good, but she was still a little weak. Frodo supported her lovingly.

We will lead you to the Gap of Rohan, Aragorn said. He had decided with Gimli and Legolas to guard the Hobbits until they were far from Gondor. They had a merry time with laughter and chatting and they also rested in Edoras. Gandalf had also come with them for some part of the way, but then he left them and didnt tell them where he was going. Nobody cared about that, they all knew the wizard.
I will come to the Shire when its time to, he had said before he had left them. Frodo knew what he had meant.
Sam missed his family. He always spoke of his little son and his beloved daughter which made Merry and Pippin consider names for the little baby of Frodo and Liliane.
s too early! Liliane said. It will be born in spring, so take your time!
They didnt. First they thought of many names for girls, mostly flowers names and then of heroic names for boys. Frodo burst out in laughter again and again, he didnt like their ideas at all. He had his own one, but he didnt tell anyone. Even Liliane had no idea.
The nights were warm and silent. But Frodo was always tired when it was his turn to guard them all. He had taken the watch before Liliane and he never woke her up, but took her guard, too. He reckoned she would be afraid all alone awake at night and so it was when she once woke up, startled by a nightmare. Frodo took her in his arms and comforted her because she had woken him, too. Fearfully she gaped at the surroundings and listened attentively for every sound. Cracking twicks made her wince and shiver. They avoided to rest near forests, but they couldnt always do so.
When they had left Edoras and reached the Gap of Rohan, they said goodbye to their friends who returned to Gondor.
We will meet again, Aragorn said. And send news when the baby is born!
I will do so, Frodo promised. Again Gimli took some time for congratulations and Legolas kissed his little friends foreheads in a friendly manner.
I hope you will have a good journey, he said.
And they had. But there was one problem: They didnt have enough food.
One night Frodo woke up because he felt cold in his back. Liliane had left him. Sleepily he squinted and saw her sitting by the fire. What he saw made him laugh out loud.
She had sneaked to their backpacks and taken some food which should have been her breakfast. She was still chewing and held the rest of an apple in her hand, but when she saw Frodo looking at her, she blushed and felt so ashamed.
I... I was hungry... she tried to explain, but Frodo shook his head. He took the blanket, covered her shoulders with it and sat down beside her.
You must freeze!
No, actually Im only hungry...
The others woke up from their whispering. When Sam saw Liliane eating, he burst out in laughter himself and said: re trapped! But I know that myself...
This is normal? Liliane asked and sighed. He nodded.
Oh yes! You should ask Rosie what she had been eating all night...
Merry grinned broadly. He could not wait to experience that himself with Estella.
As long as you think its funny! Liliane said and took another bite. Pippin giggled.
re only a Hobbit, Sam said and laid down again. He wasnt impressed at all.
Liliane whispered when they laid down. Frodo shrugged.
No. Youre only eating for two!
But she was still hungry. Frodo had nearly fallen asleep again, but when she sighed, he opened an eye.
he said.
Oh... Im just dreaming of strawberries and pickled gherkins...
Frodo shivered. Wonderful combination!
And cheese...
Good idea! Frodo said and smiled. He placed his hand on her belly and whispered: Seems to be very hungry, our little one!
t ask.
But she was happy to be with him and she would also bear this hunger...

Weeks had passed. The borders of the Shire lay already behind them, they were close to their homes. Merry and Pippin didnt like to leave their friends, but they did so. Sam told them he would get along with Frodo and Liliane. He knew he also had Rosie to help him, he wasnt all alone with his friends.
Actually they had been fine on their way back home. It was seldom that Liliane was afraid of something and Frodo could hide his sorrow. He always watched their surroundings, searching for someone who could want to do them any harm, but there was only peace.
They forgot their experiences while travelling with their friends, heading for their home. Sam was so happy that also the others couldnt wait to arrive.
When both Merry and Pippin left them to return to their homes, Sam, Frodo and Liliane made for Hobbiton.
Carefully and unnoticed Sam looked at Frodo. He knew Frodo hid something. He didnt know yet what it was, but he would find out. And he feared it would get worse again once they had reached Bag End. When normal life was to return, Frodo and Liliane would be in trouble. That was bad. Sam had a secret hope: The baby. Once their attention could be drawn on their child, it could maybe become better again. They must not have time to remember the events. Throughout the journey they hadnt had any time, but they would have once they were back home.
And then the time came. They rode up Hobbiton Mill and finally reached Bag End. In the garden there was Elanor playing with Peony and they werent alone - little Frodo was with them.
Sam exclaimed and dismounted his pony. He looked at his little son in disbelief who was running around cheerfully, laughing and giggling.
Look how hes grown... its Daddy! Sam said, kneeling down and opening his arms. The little boy shrieked in joy when he saw his father, came running towards him and flung his arms about his fathers neck.
Elanor exclaimed and approached him, too. Sam embraced his children happily and Frodo smiled. He had an idea what Sam was so proud of... he would know the feeling himself soon.
Uncle Frodo is back! Elanor cried and turned to Frodo and Liliane.
And Auntie Liliane is back, too! Youre all here again!
She took a few steps forward, but when Frodo knelt down to embrace the girl, Elanor halted at gazed at him for a moment.
Who did that, Uncle Frodo? she asked and pointed at the cut in his face. Frodo touched the wound with his hand and Elanor could see his bandages which were still about his wrists.
she whispered and reached out for him. Frodo took her little hand and looked at her with an encouraging smile.
Just a little adventure, Ellie... nothing serious, he said and swallowed hard. He felt so much like a liar.
Her words had made him aware of his wounds again. He had forgotten. He didnt feel them anymore, he didnt pay attention to them - but now it was too late.
It was to be seen. One could not overlook it.
An adventure? And what about Auntie Liliane and Daddy?
Your aunt was with me and your Daddy was really brave when he fought with us, Frodo said and rose again. Liliane came closer, knelt down before Elanor and said: Do you want to know a secret?
Elanor nodded eagerly. Liliane whispered into her ear: You will soon have a friend to play with! I expect a baby!
Elanors eyes grew wide and she cried out loudly, cheering happily. Liliane smiled, she had reckoned the girl to react that way and if there was at least one reason to be happy, she should know it.
Elanor ran back to Peony and, of course, told her about the secret. Liliane was amused and when she looked back again at Sam and Frodo, she saw Rosie approaching her husband.
Oh, Sam!
They embraced and Sam kissed her tenderly.
m back, my love, he said and she sighed.
I missed you so much, you cant imagine! Rosie said quietly and then turned to Frodo and Liliane. Like Elanor, she hesitated for a moment before she approached them. First she embraced Liliane whose facial expression was far from the happiness Rosie knew of her. And when Rosie turned to Frodo, she said nothing at first and didnt even move. She knew this was no accidental injury. He had other scars in his face, too.
Will you tell me what youve been doing all the time? she said, turning to Sam. He pointed at the smial and together they entered Bag End. The children paid no attention to them in this moment, Elanor was so excited about the new baby that she was busy talking with Peony, sitting in the grass.
Something happened, didnt it? Rosie asked before she entered the kitchen.
Yes. Otherwise we would have been back much earlier, Sam answered and sat down on the bench. Liliane and Frodo did so, too. He laid his arm about her shoulders and when they began to drank some tea, Frodo looked at Sam, telling him to report it to Rosie.
We were in trouble, he began. There were people who wanted to take revenge on Frodo.
Rosie gaped at them all in disbelief, one after another.
Revenge? What do you mean with revenge?
They nearly killed me, Frodo surprisingly said, staring at the table. Liliane stiffened, then rose and left the kitchen in a hurry. Sam sighed.
Without saying a word, Frodo followed her. It had been wrong to say it that way.
Who is they, Sam? Would you...
And Sam did. He told her the whole story. He told her of the abduction and his injury, Bergils help and everything he knew from the captivity Frodo and Liliane had suffered.
In his face, this was... this was the only visible wound. And without Legolas he would have died - the leader of the Messengers showed no mercy... Frodos shirt hides the wounds. I... I had to watch it, he was lying there, waiting for his death...
Sam stared at the ceiling and sighed loudly. Biting his lip he looked at Rosie who was sitting in silence, only listening to him in dismay.
But why Liliane? she finally asked.
B-because shes his wife. They feared children of the Ringbearer, they... they nearly raped her. These bastards...
Rosie closed her eyes.
That cant be true. No, Sam. Thats a nightmare, you... you... what...
Sam felt tears burning in his eyes.
It is true, Rosie. It happened. Without Bergil it would all be too late. Gordir would have stabbed Frodo and Liliane would have lost the baby...
The baby?
Sam nodded. Yes. Shes pregnant. They will be parents in spring.
He felt terrible in this moment. He could not tell her everything, he didnt even want to, but now he knew what problems Frodo and Liliane had. They were so much far away from each other. He was not able to reach Rosie either. This horror changed everyone. He wanted to protect her, she must not know it, but she wanted to.
she asked and smiled awkwardly. She knew how much Liliane had been waiting for that and finally she would be a mother...
This is the only thing to help them. I... I dont really know why, but it seems Liliane is afraid of Frodo. He may embrace her and comfort her, but something is different. Its not that they dont trust each other, but... but theyre not as close to each other as before. And Im sure of one thing: If there wasnt the baby, maybe it would all be over soon...
Sam! How can you say that? You know yourself they love each other! Its very hard a time now, I know, but they will not lose their love. Not now!
Look at them, Sam said and felt a teardrop running down his cheek. It hurt to see everything breaking. He knew it was. And he didnt know what to do about it.
Frodo loved Liliane, but she didnt let him come close. Yet she answered his love, but something was destroyed.
I should have protected them, I... it was my duty to... I swore myself to always protect Master Frodo, but again I failed... I failed...
Sam was weeping silently. Rosie stood up and sat down beside him, wrapping her arms around him.
No, Sam. You did what you could. You fulfilled your task again. Its not your fault!
It is...
No! You were as helpless as everyone else! And dont fear anything. You know how strong love can be!
Yes, he knew. But what if this love was in danger?

Liliane had laid down on the bed, hiding her face in her pillow. She was sobbing loudly when Frodo came in. It felt as if his heart was stabbed.
It was all because of his past, his terrible past which he had wanted to protect her from.
m sorry, he said, leaning on the wall. Liliane didnt move, so he came closer, sat down beside her and laid his hand on her shoulder.
You take it as if it was nothing, dont you? she shouted at him when she had turned about. Frodo closed his eyes.
s not true.
Of course it is! I havent seen what they have done to you, but I can imagine and you want to tell me that you forgot about it? No, Frodo. What are you doing here? What do you pretend? You dont have to be strong for me. You cant help me anyway since you dont even understand me!
Frodo swallowed hard and fought the tears.
, he said with his voice quavering, I dont understand. Maybe you didnt notice, but this is what Im trying to do - I try to understand you! But if you dont talk to me...
I cant! I would do so if I could, but... but... just leave me...
She turned around again, turned his back on him. Frodo closed his eyes and felt tears streaming down his cheeks.
Now it was too late. He had lost her. She told him to leave?
He rose and left the room, closing the door. Then he sank down, leaning on the wall, he cowered on the ground and was sobbing in despair.
She was everything he had. Everything he had wanted to survive for. His love - his life. Nothing less. And she pushed him away.
He always remembered Eowyns words, but still he couldnt understand. It was him! He was a Hobbit, Frodo Baggins, her husband. He was no adolescent Gondorian boy, being under a spell and unaware of what he was doing.
What did she accuse him of?
He heard voices from the kitchen. Now Sam and Rosie were fighting, too. Great.
And what was the reason for all this damage?
His past. His cursed past, he was the Ringbearer...
He should have left. It was wrong having returned. This caused so much pain...
He cursed himself. He should never have gone to Gondor, he should never have taken Liliane along.
Of course she couldnt bear this pain. How difficult was it to be his wife? Why had she met him? The Ringbearer?
He couldnt believe she didnt hate him. Of course she did.
Suddenly he was startled by the sound of steps approaching him. It was Rosie.
Is she in there?
Without saying a word Frodo nodded. Rosie did not answer and simply entered the bedroom with a sigh.
It was terrible. They were all like paralyzed, all three of them. Sam blamed it all on himself, Frodo could not reach Liliane and she...
Rosie barely had an idea what it had been like, but she knew she had to try and talk to Liliane.
t cry, she said. Liliane slowly turned about as she heard her voice and sat upright.

Yes. I need to talk to you. Sam is worried and Frodo sits outside the door, crying all his heart out. Sam has the same fear as Frodo might have. He doesnt want to lose you, Liliane, but this could happen.
Liliane was dismayed and searching for words, but she found none. She had already thought of that, but the thought hadnt settled in her mind.
What is wrong? What are you afraid of?
Liliane didnt answer. Rosie took the chair from the corner and sat down opposite of Liliane. After a while Rosie just dared and tried.
You are ashamed, arent you?
It took a moment, but then Liliane nodded.
Yes. I always ask myself how this could happen. Theres nothing worse...
Now listen to me. It was not because you did something wrong. You didnt provoke them, it was not because of you as... well, what they actually thought of when they intended to hurt you was something different. They had also decided to do so before they even knew who you were. Maybe they didnt even have an idea what you look like before they came to take you captive. It was because of something simple which you are not, after all. They had just one idea. Youre Frodos wife, the Ringbearers wife. You never felt like that and you dont need to because youre more than that. But still it was not because of that, but because of their fear of children. They were mad! They didnt want to let Frodo be a father, this is the whole matter. And may I tell you something? He wouldnt have been if they killed him, so why did they continue?
Lilianes face had turned pale as she was listening to Rosies words. Rosie put into words what Liliane just felt, but she couldnt even express that in words herself.
And it hurt to listen. Yet she could not stop doing so.
I will tell you. They wanted to hurt Frodo. The leader used it as a threat. He wanted Frodo to suffer because he knew Frodo would suffer. It was part of the plan! I know this hurts but... but he wanted Frodo to hear you. He must not see it because that would have drawn his attention away from his own pain. I guess it did so anyway. The leader wanted Frodo to hear you crying. Thats it. It was part of his revenge. And wasnt it like that? In know Frodo. He must have been mad at the leader! I know Sam thinks equally of that. He would kill everyone who tried to harm me. Imagine Frodos torture - he must have thought it was too late already. The leader wanted him to have this picture in his mind, the picture of you with the boys. And there was one thing which would hurt Frodo most, referring to you. He would not have cared about anything if they had killed you. Frodo would have wanted to die himself then. So there was only one thing left which was bad enough to hurt him, to really hurt him. It was a mean of pressure. There was only one thing for them to do. So dont be ashamed, its not because of you, they would have raped you because of Frodo.
Liliane gasped. She had listened to Rosie although every word was stinging her, but now that she named it in the end, named the abominable fact, named what Liliane tried to forget - she cried out and sank down, sobbing loudly.
Rosie bit her lip, sitting down beside Liliane and taking her into her arms, rocking her gently.
I know it hurts, she whispered and stroked her head. But she knew she had spoken the truth, the important truth which would help to change everything.
After all you should be proud, Liliane. Just be proud that youre Frodos wife. You can be. Theres no one who would love you more than he does. He would give everything for you. And indeed he is a hero. I dont know much of that myself, but I know he is. You deserve his love like he deserves yours. And hes not one of the boys. You know he would never hurt you. Well, of course I know how hard it must be to bear all that, but may I tell you something? Frodo doesnt understand you, I guess, but he cant. Sam would not be able to understand either. But theres no reason to push him away. You dont need to tell him, but he fears to lose you. And he will if you continue like that. I know you dont want that yourself, so do one thing: Dont refuse his closeness. You know how much that can be. Right now you dont understand each other, but you will again. And remember your baby. It needs happy parents - especially a happy mother.
Now Liliane raised her head in surprise.
You know it?
Yes. Sam told me. And this is wonderful. So lets do one thing. I will tell Frodo why you react the way you do and you should try to trust him again. Hes not one of the boys. And take your time. It will work. You love each other!
So Rosie went and talked to Frodo. She told him that Liliane was still suffering from this horrifying experience. Still the simple idea of his closeness made her shiver, but it would change again. Slowly, but surely.
You will not lose her. But be patient. Your love is strong and this is exactly what she needs!