Read all notes/warnings/headings, etc. before proceeding. Please
keep arms, feet and all other protruding body parts inside the vehicle
throughout the duration of the ride. Thank you.
Title: Just Because I'm Blonde.
Author: Rachel
Rating: PG
Category: Comedic (hopefully) Gap-filler/ficlet for "Inheritance"
Disclaimer: Surprise, Surprise. I don't own them. They're NOT mine. I
wish they were. But if wishes were horses we'd be knee deep in crap.
All I own are the voices in my head.
Summary: Alex reacts to. you know what? Just read and find out what
she "reacts" to.
Spoilers: "Inheritance" (but I think that's pretty obvious, isn't it?)
Feedback: Yes! Feed me!
Archive: If that's what floats your boat, go right ahead.. Just let
me know where.
Author's notes: This is my first attempt at a "gap-filler" as well as
a first for any kind of ACTUAL episode-related fic. So I'm just
warning you that it might not be all that good. So you can't hurt me,
since I told you in advance. And another thing- I know this has a
snowball's chance in hell of actually happening in the episode (or
any other episode for that matter) and it would be completely out of
character for Alex. But I've decided to stray from what's "in
character" for amusement purposes.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------
The courtroom was hushed as Alex Cabot sat behind the table and
listened to the defense attorney, Margot Nelson, question her first
witness-an expert geneticist. She found it hard to concentrate,
seeing that she believed their whole "inherited rapist gene" defense
was a load of crap. Her focus, however, was brought back to where it
was properly needed when the testimony strayed from its original
topic.
"Objection, Your Honor. How did we go from talking about inherited genes to inherited behavior?" She asked, bewildered at where Mrs. Nelson was going with this.
"I'm sorry, I'll try to speak slower and use smaller words so that
you can keep up." Margot scoffed.
"Dr. Coffey has not specifically proven inherited behavior. Are we
just going to make up theories as we go along?" argued Alex.
"No, I think it's better that we take the word of an assistant
district attorney over that of a scientific expert." The older woman
replied sarcastically.
Oh no. She DID NOT just say that too me. She did say that. How DARE
she say that! Just because I'm blonde she thinks I'm some kind of
airhead, doesn't she?! Heh. I'll show her who's the dummy. Alex
thought as a sly smirk graced her face.
She stood up and began her cross-examination, still in awe at the
fact that the old hag at the defense table had actually insulted her
in the middle of court. She ended her line of questioning by stating
that in truth, Dr. Coffey "really can't speak to the topic at all."
Summations were begun and finished, Alex STILL reeling from the
scenario that had played out. She and Margot exited the courtroom at
the exact same time, however, from exits at separate ends of the
hall. Alex spotted Margot talking to some unfamiliar faces, all the
while with that ever-present pompous smirk she always has plastered
across her features. Alex stomped towards her, and as Margot opened
her mouth to express some meaningless, insincere "no hard feelings"
gesture, Alex simply screamed "YOU BITCH!" and punched her square in
the face, sending her to the ground. Gasps were heard, giggles were
barely suppressed.
As Alex lunged towards the older attorney a second time, Olivia ran
up behind her and pulled her back.
"Olivia, just let me go, so I can give this old witch the beat-down
she so justly deserves!" Alex announced through clenched teeth.
"Yeah, right. Like you could really hurt me, you scrawny little
slut." Margot argued while brushing the dust off of her skirt and
wiping the blood from her nose. Alex just screamed and broke free
from Olivia's arms and tackled the other woman, throwing punch after
punch.
"Alex! Alex! Knock it off! Alex, get off of her! This isn't going to
help the case! Alexandra Cabot, get off of her right now!" Olivia
screamed in a motherly fashion as she tried to pry Alex off, but she
was only successful in getting an elbow to the sternum. Instead, she
called a security guard over, who barely heard her over Alex's
screams and Margot's howls.
"You think that just because I'm blonde that I'm some kind of dumb,
air-headed whore that only got the job she has by sleeping with all
the men in the higher positions?! Apologize NOW you stupid old
bitch!" Alex yelled. Once the security guard finally got Alex off of
the other woman, her hair was a mess and her face was red with the
heat of anger.
"You are one crazy bitch, you know that, Cabot? Crazy, crazy bitch."
Margot declared as she was being helped up by other security guards
and Alex was being pulled away by Olivia and the same brawny guard
that had pulled her off Mrs. Nelson.
"We'll just see who's the idiot when the verdict comes in." Alex
announced as she straightened her suit and followed Olivia in the
other direction. As the two women stepped out onto the courthouse
steps, the security guard approached once again, and tugged on Alex's
sleeve.
"I'm sorry Mrs. Cabot, but I'm going to have to arrest you."
"What the hell?!" both women shouted.
"You just assaulted Mrs. Nelson. You need to be taken into custody."
"I'll take her. My squad will deal with it." Olivia offered.
"I don't know about that, Detective."
"Please, just let me deal with this." Olivia said. She pulled Alex
away and walked quickly to her car before the guard had a chance to
reply.
"Thank you so much, Liv." Alex sighed.
"Not so fast, Alex. There are going to be consequences for what you
just did. I'm going to have to tell Cragen, who in turn, will tell
Donnelly." Olivia explained.
"But Olivia! All I did was give that bitch what she deserved!"
"I understand that, Alex. But maybe you should of thought of what
might happen before you got your revenge on her in front of dozens of
witnesses." Olivia said with a slight smile. "By the way. where'd you
learn to punch like that?"
"I used to take tae-kwon-do. My father wanted me to know how to
defend myself. My mother just sat and whined about `violence not
being the answer'." She answered, ending with giggle and a roll of
her eyes.
Olivia called the squad room on her cell phone and explained the
situation. As soon as they entered the station house, the other three
detectives were surrounding them.
"Hey Muhammad!" Munch called out jokingly while the others just
laughed and stared in disbelief that their innocent little Alex had
not only gotten in a fight, but was the one who had initiated the
brawl. Cragen appeared in his doorway just as Alex rolled her eyes
and shrugged off Munch's comment.
"Miss Cabot, I'd like to see you in my office. NOW." He declared.
Alex sighed and walked into the office. She stood and crossed her
arms, waiting for whatever lecture she was about to receive.
"What the hell were you thinking, attacking a defense lawyer in the
middle of the courthouse?! Are you out of your mind?!" Cragen
accused.
"You weren't there, Cragen! She was ASKING for it!" exclaimed Alex.
"I know defense attorneys are rats, and that you hate them. Hell, I
hate them too. And Olivia told me what she had said to you during the
trial. But that doesn't mean you can haul off and jump her! Now, I
called your boss. She wants to see you in her office, pronto."
Alex huffed and walked out of the office and left the squad room.
Alex arrived at Donnelly's office and knocked on the door.
"Get your ass in here." She heard from inside. She entered the room,
prepared for any punishment she was about to get.
"Alexandra, what the hell is your problem?"
"She deserved it, Liz."
"I'm sure she did. But I still just spent 20 minutes on the phone
with Mrs. Nelson, convincing her not to officially pressing charges
against you."
"Thank you."
"Don't thank me yet. because that's not all I have to say. I do HAVE
to punish you, you know. Even though I wish I would have gotten to
see you use that old hag as a punching bag." Liz said with an
innocent looking smirk. Alex allowed a smile to creep across her face
as Liz continued. "You're suspended for a week. And don't ever do
this in front of witnesses or without me again."
"I'll call you and invite you to join in next time, I promise." Alex
joked.
"Good. Now get out of here. Go home. By the way-you look like hell
Alexandra. But in a good way."
Alex just sighed and exited the office. I bet Liz could do some
pretty good damage on that piece of shit Nelson, she thought as she
went to her office to gather her things. Hey, a week long vacation.
doesn't sound too bad.
THE END
keep arms, feet and all other protruding body parts inside the vehicle
throughout the duration of the ride. Thank you.
Title: Just Because I'm Blonde.
Author: Rachel
Rating: PG
Category: Comedic (hopefully) Gap-filler/ficlet for "Inheritance"
Disclaimer: Surprise, Surprise. I don't own them. They're NOT mine. I
wish they were. But if wishes were horses we'd be knee deep in crap.
All I own are the voices in my head.
Summary: Alex reacts to. you know what? Just read and find out what
she "reacts" to.
Spoilers: "Inheritance" (but I think that's pretty obvious, isn't it?)
Feedback: Yes! Feed me!
Archive: If that's what floats your boat, go right ahead.. Just let
me know where.
Author's notes: This is my first attempt at a "gap-filler" as well as
a first for any kind of ACTUAL episode-related fic. So I'm just
warning you that it might not be all that good. So you can't hurt me,
since I told you in advance. And another thing- I know this has a
snowball's chance in hell of actually happening in the episode (or
any other episode for that matter) and it would be completely out of
character for Alex. But I've decided to stray from what's "in
character" for amusement purposes.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------
The courtroom was hushed as Alex Cabot sat behind the table and
listened to the defense attorney, Margot Nelson, question her first
witness-an expert geneticist. She found it hard to concentrate,
seeing that she believed their whole "inherited rapist gene" defense
was a load of crap. Her focus, however, was brought back to where it
was properly needed when the testimony strayed from its original
topic.
"Objection, Your Honor. How did we go from talking about inherited genes to inherited behavior?" She asked, bewildered at where Mrs. Nelson was going with this.
"I'm sorry, I'll try to speak slower and use smaller words so that
you can keep up." Margot scoffed.
"Dr. Coffey has not specifically proven inherited behavior. Are we
just going to make up theories as we go along?" argued Alex.
"No, I think it's better that we take the word of an assistant
district attorney over that of a scientific expert." The older woman
replied sarcastically.
Oh no. She DID NOT just say that too me. She did say that. How DARE
she say that! Just because I'm blonde she thinks I'm some kind of
airhead, doesn't she?! Heh. I'll show her who's the dummy. Alex
thought as a sly smirk graced her face.
She stood up and began her cross-examination, still in awe at the
fact that the old hag at the defense table had actually insulted her
in the middle of court. She ended her line of questioning by stating
that in truth, Dr. Coffey "really can't speak to the topic at all."
Summations were begun and finished, Alex STILL reeling from the
scenario that had played out. She and Margot exited the courtroom at
the exact same time, however, from exits at separate ends of the
hall. Alex spotted Margot talking to some unfamiliar faces, all the
while with that ever-present pompous smirk she always has plastered
across her features. Alex stomped towards her, and as Margot opened
her mouth to express some meaningless, insincere "no hard feelings"
gesture, Alex simply screamed "YOU BITCH!" and punched her square in
the face, sending her to the ground. Gasps were heard, giggles were
barely suppressed.
As Alex lunged towards the older attorney a second time, Olivia ran
up behind her and pulled her back.
"Olivia, just let me go, so I can give this old witch the beat-down
she so justly deserves!" Alex announced through clenched teeth.
"Yeah, right. Like you could really hurt me, you scrawny little
slut." Margot argued while brushing the dust off of her skirt and
wiping the blood from her nose. Alex just screamed and broke free
from Olivia's arms and tackled the other woman, throwing punch after
punch.
"Alex! Alex! Knock it off! Alex, get off of her! This isn't going to
help the case! Alexandra Cabot, get off of her right now!" Olivia
screamed in a motherly fashion as she tried to pry Alex off, but she
was only successful in getting an elbow to the sternum. Instead, she
called a security guard over, who barely heard her over Alex's
screams and Margot's howls.
"You think that just because I'm blonde that I'm some kind of dumb,
air-headed whore that only got the job she has by sleeping with all
the men in the higher positions?! Apologize NOW you stupid old
bitch!" Alex yelled. Once the security guard finally got Alex off of
the other woman, her hair was a mess and her face was red with the
heat of anger.
"You are one crazy bitch, you know that, Cabot? Crazy, crazy bitch."
Margot declared as she was being helped up by other security guards
and Alex was being pulled away by Olivia and the same brawny guard
that had pulled her off Mrs. Nelson.
"We'll just see who's the idiot when the verdict comes in." Alex
announced as she straightened her suit and followed Olivia in the
other direction. As the two women stepped out onto the courthouse
steps, the security guard approached once again, and tugged on Alex's
sleeve.
"I'm sorry Mrs. Cabot, but I'm going to have to arrest you."
"What the hell?!" both women shouted.
"You just assaulted Mrs. Nelson. You need to be taken into custody."
"I'll take her. My squad will deal with it." Olivia offered.
"I don't know about that, Detective."
"Please, just let me deal with this." Olivia said. She pulled Alex
away and walked quickly to her car before the guard had a chance to
reply.
"Thank you so much, Liv." Alex sighed.
"Not so fast, Alex. There are going to be consequences for what you
just did. I'm going to have to tell Cragen, who in turn, will tell
Donnelly." Olivia explained.
"But Olivia! All I did was give that bitch what she deserved!"
"I understand that, Alex. But maybe you should of thought of what
might happen before you got your revenge on her in front of dozens of
witnesses." Olivia said with a slight smile. "By the way. where'd you
learn to punch like that?"
"I used to take tae-kwon-do. My father wanted me to know how to
defend myself. My mother just sat and whined about `violence not
being the answer'." She answered, ending with giggle and a roll of
her eyes.
Olivia called the squad room on her cell phone and explained the
situation. As soon as they entered the station house, the other three
detectives were surrounding them.
"Hey Muhammad!" Munch called out jokingly while the others just
laughed and stared in disbelief that their innocent little Alex had
not only gotten in a fight, but was the one who had initiated the
brawl. Cragen appeared in his doorway just as Alex rolled her eyes
and shrugged off Munch's comment.
"Miss Cabot, I'd like to see you in my office. NOW." He declared.
Alex sighed and walked into the office. She stood and crossed her
arms, waiting for whatever lecture she was about to receive.
"What the hell were you thinking, attacking a defense lawyer in the
middle of the courthouse?! Are you out of your mind?!" Cragen
accused.
"You weren't there, Cragen! She was ASKING for it!" exclaimed Alex.
"I know defense attorneys are rats, and that you hate them. Hell, I
hate them too. And Olivia told me what she had said to you during the
trial. But that doesn't mean you can haul off and jump her! Now, I
called your boss. She wants to see you in her office, pronto."
Alex huffed and walked out of the office and left the squad room.
Alex arrived at Donnelly's office and knocked on the door.
"Get your ass in here." She heard from inside. She entered the room,
prepared for any punishment she was about to get.
"Alexandra, what the hell is your problem?"
"She deserved it, Liz."
"I'm sure she did. But I still just spent 20 minutes on the phone
with Mrs. Nelson, convincing her not to officially pressing charges
against you."
"Thank you."
"Don't thank me yet. because that's not all I have to say. I do HAVE
to punish you, you know. Even though I wish I would have gotten to
see you use that old hag as a punching bag." Liz said with an
innocent looking smirk. Alex allowed a smile to creep across her face
as Liz continued. "You're suspended for a week. And don't ever do
this in front of witnesses or without me again."
"I'll call you and invite you to join in next time, I promise." Alex
joked.
"Good. Now get out of here. Go home. By the way-you look like hell
Alexandra. But in a good way."
Alex just sighed and exited the office. I bet Liz could do some
pretty good damage on that piece of shit Nelson, she thought as she
went to her office to gather her things. Hey, a week long vacation.
doesn't sound too bad.
THE END