For two horrible days the memories came and went. One by one Jack was
forced to face the low points of his past. He was made to right his
wrongs, fix his mistakes, and rise to the occasions he had not be able to
at the time. Some things were inevitable. He still lost the Pearl to
Barbossa, and still killed him in the cave of Isla de Muerta; he still
drank the Devil's Blood, and pissed Julianne off beyond belief; and in the
end, he was still Jack Sparrow, cocky, confident, and arrogant Jack
Sparrow. But he was better for it.
Julianne remained by his side throughout it all, save for when she occasional napped for an hour or two. Her friends made sure she ate and drank, bringing her meals and jugs of water. As the days passed, Julianne was growing increasingly more agitated with the situation. Jack's situation remaining in a constant state of limbo was pure torture. She wanted an answer, even if that meant he didn't make it, she could no longer take the unknown.
On the third day she had just about given up all hope. No longer able to take sitting alone with Jack she began to drink heavily. Heavier than normal anyway. Early in the afternoon Elizabeth and Anamaria came to check on Jack and coax Julianne into eating. Entering the office, they found Julianne slumped in her chair, eyes bloodshot and rum bottle hanging lazily in her hand.
"I think ye've had quite enough", Anamaria said attempting to take the bottle from her.
Juli quickly snatched it away from her reach. "I'm fine."
Ana sighed, her patience also wearing thin. "Jules, would ye just give me the rum?"
No answer.
"Julianne Amaris, you are being absolutely ridiculous", Ana began angrily.
"HERE! TAKE THE BLOODY BOTTLE!", Julianne yelled cutting her off and jumping up from her seat. She thrust the bottle into Anamaria's hands and then turned for the door.
"Where're ye going?" Ana called after her, but she was ignored.
Julianne stormed angrily out of the doctor's office. She had spent the last three days fighting back tears, but now there were no more tears left to cry. Since she had arrived in Port Lucaya, her sorrow had turned to anger, her pain had left her hollow and cold, and she wanted nothing more than to take her wrath out on the entire world. With Jack slowly slipping away from her, all of the love and warmth that he had brought out in her over the years was slowly slipping away with him. She was alone, and stalking through the town she fully intended to resort to the one method that had always served her well in this situation in the past.
She quickly tore through the more affluent sections of town, heading directly for none other than the vice district. Prim and proper as Port Lucaya was, even this perfect little town could not rid itself of life's lower walks. Though every effort was made to keep this area out of sight, and out of mind; it existed none the less.
In her rage, Julianne took no notice of the fact the she was being followed by a figure who kept a good distance between them. Nor did she notice the looks cast in her direction by some of the town's more respectable inhabitants. In fact, by the time she reached her destination she had even attracted the attention of a few of the navy's men. None of whom bothered her however, on Norrington's earlier orders.
She came to a stop in front of a large, looming house. The sign that hung over the door said it all, Julianne was standing in front of a brothel. Looking up at the establishment in front of her, she paused for a second, reminded of her younger days. Many of which she wished to forget.
But now, here in this moment, with Jack fading into death, this was what she wanted. Or at least it's what she was trying to convince herself she wanted. If she was supposed to continue living without Jack, she might as well get a head start on things. How hard could it be? She had lived like this for years, trying to fill the void in her soul that made itself obvious whenever she had been separated from him in the past. Her days filled with voyages to sea, pilfering and plundering until she was sick of it. And her nights, her nights were filled with countless faces, faces of those she did not remember, or made herself forget.
In a way, the very idea of it all sickened her. You can convince the world you're something you're not, but you can never convince yourself. But that did not stop her from grabbing the door handle and pulling it open.
Just as she was about to step inside though, a hand grabbed her from behind. Julianne whirled around swiftly, drawing her sword in the process and bringing it to her assailant's neck. Blinking in disbelief, she cursed under her breath then glared accusingly at the person as she sheathed her sword.
"What are you doin 'ere", she sneered.
"I thought I might ask you the same", Commdore Norrington answered.
"Why's that? I'm a pirate. Pirates and whores go hand in hand. Commdores and whores, however, do not."
"Perhaps not. But Commodores and preventing improper behavior do", he answered curtly. "Now let's go", he added.
"Who are you to tell me what to do? Ain't no law sayin I can't go about me business."
"Business? Is that what you call it? Honestly Julianne, you really think fucking some guy is going to make you feel better? What the hell is wrong with you?"
Julianne stared at him in horror. "Did you just say fucking", she asked after a minute.
"You're damned right I did. Now get moving", he barked, grabbing her roughly by the arm and dragging her away.
"Where're we goin", she asked him as he pulled her along behind him.
In response, Norrington only huffed at her to be quiet. He did not speak another word to her until he had gotten her to his intended destination, the waterfront. Coming to a stop in the sand, just feet from where the tide gently lapped at the beach, Norrington released his cousin and stood still. Still, he said not a word, but stared quietly out over the calm waters. Beside him, Julianne did the same.
For a moment, she felt nothing. Not the normal, contented feeling that typically settled over her at the sight. Nothing. At the realization of this, tears began to well up in her eyes, she sighed, and looked away.
"Jules", John began, placing a hand on her back.
"It's over John. It can never be the way it used to be."
"What do you mean?"
Choking on stifled sobs, she sniffed and answered. "A long time ago, I gave me 'eart to sea. She was me freedom, my very breath. And we were happy together, her and I. And then, well, then there was a boy. I knew from the beginning that he'd be trouble, that he'd complicate my perfect set up. Over the years, no matter how 'ard I fought, he started takin pieces o' me heart from her, little by little. And now he's got it all, and I can never go back to her without him."
"Jules. You're not going to", he trailed off.
She looked at him questioningly, "to what?"
"You know. To, do yourself in?"
Turning back to the view, unable to meet his gaze she hesitated. "No. I've thought about it but I don't think I could. Awful shitty way to destroy everythin I've worked so hard to build. Me pride wouldn't let me, and Jack, he'd wake up from the grave and kill me 'imself if I tried."
"You speak as though he's already dead", Norrington exclaimed in annoyance. "When he met yet come out of this alive and well. Have you no hope woman?"
"I do not trust to hope. It is a fleeting emotion held tight by those with nowhere left to turn. And for what? All the hopin in the world isn't gonna save him if he's bound to die."
Norrington scoffed in irritation, but Julianne was quick to continue. "If you always expect the worst John, you'll neva be disappointed."
"That is a miserable way to go through life and you know it!"
"You think I don't know that? You think piracy is some walk on the beach, some grand adventure? A bunch of dissident miscreants, with nothing betta to do than 'ave a jolly good time pilfering, killing, ravishing women, and drinking our bloody guts out? It's hell! Sure it has its good points, big fantasy life, loads of loot, all the pleasurable company one could ask for. But murder's not fun, least for most of us, and you can only 'ave so much money. Drinking gets old quick, and eventually fails to drown your sorrows. And all the pleasurable company in the world doesn't replace the fact that you'll never 'ave that story book love.
I've been lucky. Somehow, someway, and by someone's good graces; I've made it through life without having to take unnecessary lives, and with someone who loved me. And now, now that I'm about to lose that, can ya really blame me for feelin this way. Hell, I'd give it all up in the blink o' an eye to 'ave him live. I'd give me money, I'd give me ship, I'd give me freedom, I'd give me very life for him to be ok."
Julianne could finally take no more, and broke down, bawling hysterically. "If he dies, I don't want to live anymore", she sobbed.
Heart broken at her pain, Norrington pulled her close in a hug. Standing there holding her tight, something occurred to him. Never before had he really understood his cousin, never before had he be able to grasp who she was. He had spent the last several years puzzling over how someone he had once known so well could become a total stranger to him. But he realized now that she wasn't a stranger at all. He had allowed himself to be blinded by her life choices. He had failed to see past the label of pirate to the person behind it. When it came down to it, she was a person just like him. A person who laughed, cried, hurt, attacked, hated, and loved, just like everyone else. And so was Jack.
"I'm so sorry Jules", he said softly.
This simple apology seemed to somehow hold a world of meaning for the captain. He had stopped arguing, stopped trying to persuade her, change her. He finally understood.
"Not yer fault luv", she said pulling back and looking at him with a cleared face. "I knew the risks and so did he. No regrets."
Taking one last look out over the crystal blue waters, Julianne sighed lightly. And for the first time in weeks, the view from the shore was beautiful again.
Julianne remained by his side throughout it all, save for when she occasional napped for an hour or two. Her friends made sure she ate and drank, bringing her meals and jugs of water. As the days passed, Julianne was growing increasingly more agitated with the situation. Jack's situation remaining in a constant state of limbo was pure torture. She wanted an answer, even if that meant he didn't make it, she could no longer take the unknown.
On the third day she had just about given up all hope. No longer able to take sitting alone with Jack she began to drink heavily. Heavier than normal anyway. Early in the afternoon Elizabeth and Anamaria came to check on Jack and coax Julianne into eating. Entering the office, they found Julianne slumped in her chair, eyes bloodshot and rum bottle hanging lazily in her hand.
"I think ye've had quite enough", Anamaria said attempting to take the bottle from her.
Juli quickly snatched it away from her reach. "I'm fine."
Ana sighed, her patience also wearing thin. "Jules, would ye just give me the rum?"
No answer.
"Julianne Amaris, you are being absolutely ridiculous", Ana began angrily.
"HERE! TAKE THE BLOODY BOTTLE!", Julianne yelled cutting her off and jumping up from her seat. She thrust the bottle into Anamaria's hands and then turned for the door.
"Where're ye going?" Ana called after her, but she was ignored.
Julianne stormed angrily out of the doctor's office. She had spent the last three days fighting back tears, but now there were no more tears left to cry. Since she had arrived in Port Lucaya, her sorrow had turned to anger, her pain had left her hollow and cold, and she wanted nothing more than to take her wrath out on the entire world. With Jack slowly slipping away from her, all of the love and warmth that he had brought out in her over the years was slowly slipping away with him. She was alone, and stalking through the town she fully intended to resort to the one method that had always served her well in this situation in the past.
She quickly tore through the more affluent sections of town, heading directly for none other than the vice district. Prim and proper as Port Lucaya was, even this perfect little town could not rid itself of life's lower walks. Though every effort was made to keep this area out of sight, and out of mind; it existed none the less.
In her rage, Julianne took no notice of the fact the she was being followed by a figure who kept a good distance between them. Nor did she notice the looks cast in her direction by some of the town's more respectable inhabitants. In fact, by the time she reached her destination she had even attracted the attention of a few of the navy's men. None of whom bothered her however, on Norrington's earlier orders.
She came to a stop in front of a large, looming house. The sign that hung over the door said it all, Julianne was standing in front of a brothel. Looking up at the establishment in front of her, she paused for a second, reminded of her younger days. Many of which she wished to forget.
But now, here in this moment, with Jack fading into death, this was what she wanted. Or at least it's what she was trying to convince herself she wanted. If she was supposed to continue living without Jack, she might as well get a head start on things. How hard could it be? She had lived like this for years, trying to fill the void in her soul that made itself obvious whenever she had been separated from him in the past. Her days filled with voyages to sea, pilfering and plundering until she was sick of it. And her nights, her nights were filled with countless faces, faces of those she did not remember, or made herself forget.
In a way, the very idea of it all sickened her. You can convince the world you're something you're not, but you can never convince yourself. But that did not stop her from grabbing the door handle and pulling it open.
Just as she was about to step inside though, a hand grabbed her from behind. Julianne whirled around swiftly, drawing her sword in the process and bringing it to her assailant's neck. Blinking in disbelief, she cursed under her breath then glared accusingly at the person as she sheathed her sword.
"What are you doin 'ere", she sneered.
"I thought I might ask you the same", Commdore Norrington answered.
"Why's that? I'm a pirate. Pirates and whores go hand in hand. Commdores and whores, however, do not."
"Perhaps not. But Commodores and preventing improper behavior do", he answered curtly. "Now let's go", he added.
"Who are you to tell me what to do? Ain't no law sayin I can't go about me business."
"Business? Is that what you call it? Honestly Julianne, you really think fucking some guy is going to make you feel better? What the hell is wrong with you?"
Julianne stared at him in horror. "Did you just say fucking", she asked after a minute.
"You're damned right I did. Now get moving", he barked, grabbing her roughly by the arm and dragging her away.
"Where're we goin", she asked him as he pulled her along behind him.
In response, Norrington only huffed at her to be quiet. He did not speak another word to her until he had gotten her to his intended destination, the waterfront. Coming to a stop in the sand, just feet from where the tide gently lapped at the beach, Norrington released his cousin and stood still. Still, he said not a word, but stared quietly out over the calm waters. Beside him, Julianne did the same.
For a moment, she felt nothing. Not the normal, contented feeling that typically settled over her at the sight. Nothing. At the realization of this, tears began to well up in her eyes, she sighed, and looked away.
"Jules", John began, placing a hand on her back.
"It's over John. It can never be the way it used to be."
"What do you mean?"
Choking on stifled sobs, she sniffed and answered. "A long time ago, I gave me 'eart to sea. She was me freedom, my very breath. And we were happy together, her and I. And then, well, then there was a boy. I knew from the beginning that he'd be trouble, that he'd complicate my perfect set up. Over the years, no matter how 'ard I fought, he started takin pieces o' me heart from her, little by little. And now he's got it all, and I can never go back to her without him."
"Jules. You're not going to", he trailed off.
She looked at him questioningly, "to what?"
"You know. To, do yourself in?"
Turning back to the view, unable to meet his gaze she hesitated. "No. I've thought about it but I don't think I could. Awful shitty way to destroy everythin I've worked so hard to build. Me pride wouldn't let me, and Jack, he'd wake up from the grave and kill me 'imself if I tried."
"You speak as though he's already dead", Norrington exclaimed in annoyance. "When he met yet come out of this alive and well. Have you no hope woman?"
"I do not trust to hope. It is a fleeting emotion held tight by those with nowhere left to turn. And for what? All the hopin in the world isn't gonna save him if he's bound to die."
Norrington scoffed in irritation, but Julianne was quick to continue. "If you always expect the worst John, you'll neva be disappointed."
"That is a miserable way to go through life and you know it!"
"You think I don't know that? You think piracy is some walk on the beach, some grand adventure? A bunch of dissident miscreants, with nothing betta to do than 'ave a jolly good time pilfering, killing, ravishing women, and drinking our bloody guts out? It's hell! Sure it has its good points, big fantasy life, loads of loot, all the pleasurable company one could ask for. But murder's not fun, least for most of us, and you can only 'ave so much money. Drinking gets old quick, and eventually fails to drown your sorrows. And all the pleasurable company in the world doesn't replace the fact that you'll never 'ave that story book love.
I've been lucky. Somehow, someway, and by someone's good graces; I've made it through life without having to take unnecessary lives, and with someone who loved me. And now, now that I'm about to lose that, can ya really blame me for feelin this way. Hell, I'd give it all up in the blink o' an eye to 'ave him live. I'd give me money, I'd give me ship, I'd give me freedom, I'd give me very life for him to be ok."
Julianne could finally take no more, and broke down, bawling hysterically. "If he dies, I don't want to live anymore", she sobbed.
Heart broken at her pain, Norrington pulled her close in a hug. Standing there holding her tight, something occurred to him. Never before had he really understood his cousin, never before had he be able to grasp who she was. He had spent the last several years puzzling over how someone he had once known so well could become a total stranger to him. But he realized now that she wasn't a stranger at all. He had allowed himself to be blinded by her life choices. He had failed to see past the label of pirate to the person behind it. When it came down to it, she was a person just like him. A person who laughed, cried, hurt, attacked, hated, and loved, just like everyone else. And so was Jack.
"I'm so sorry Jules", he said softly.
This simple apology seemed to somehow hold a world of meaning for the captain. He had stopped arguing, stopped trying to persuade her, change her. He finally understood.
"Not yer fault luv", she said pulling back and looking at him with a cleared face. "I knew the risks and so did he. No regrets."
Taking one last look out over the crystal blue waters, Julianne sighed lightly. And for the first time in weeks, the view from the shore was beautiful again.